I am waiting on a couch. Right next to me, there is a boy holding a paper in his hands. I was thinking of talking with him, but something stopped me. After a few minutes, he started to talk. He asked me "Are you here for an interview?". I replied, "No this is my first day here and I am a new joinee". He asked, "Which team?". I said "marketing". He is also here to join and we both are on the same team. It was so surprising and they asked us to wait in a room where there were already 2 boys. One boy was wearing a formal dress and the other one was wearing a t-shirt. Their names are Sai and Karthi. They were talking among themselves, so I thought they would be friends. Like I guess, when I asked them, they told me we were college mates.
Karthi was good-looking, handsome, fit body, manliness, funk, wearing a black band on his left hand and also had a stylish walk. Sai is a silent boy, having a moustache, a terror look, and a cute smile. We four were attending the inductions( intro about the company) for almost 3 days. I would have introduced myself almost 7 to 8 times. I became tired of saying the same thing again and again. My teammate's name is Praveen. Day by day we four became good friends. They both are working in the customer experience team. They will be sitting in the first bay and we used to sit in the fourth bay. Within 2 to 3 months I got a lot of friends in my office. The funny thing is I don't have any female friends. But, when it comes to boys, I have more than 15 friends in my office. I am an introvert and I will talk in rare cases. Within these 3 months, my friends made me realize that I didn't get a friend with my vibe. With them, I too became an extrovert. We wander around the office here and there in our free time. We will have our lunch together. On Friday evenings, we used to sit in the centre space of the office and put marks for every girl who crossed the centre space. Whenever I see the cx guys I used to say "Hi dudes". Will also talk to them for a few minutes. Though they are working in a customer experience team, they won't get much time to speak. They are the only team, who will always be busy with their work.
After a few days, there was an occasion in my office. I was wearing a peach colour, Kurti, matching leggings, earrings, and bangles. My friends were teasing me "Only today you are looking like a girl". They also said I am looking pretty in this dress. I was happy and the boys were wearing jothi on that day. My cx friend Karthi also wore a shirt the same as my kurta colour. In my office, they gave me sweets and chocolates. We all forgot that we were professionals and were fighting for chocolates. In the evening my friends and I were sitting together and teasing one another. Meanwhile, Karthi crossed us and said "Hey abi"
I said "Hi dude. What's up? You are the one who is always busy in this office. You have time to talk with Praveen and not with me. Am I correct?" in a funny way.
He said, "I am talking with you too ma". The way he said “ma” attracted me. It was quite affectionate.
I said "No, No. I won't agree with you. Have you spoken to me like Praveen once? Have you said any good words to me?"
He replied, "Abi. Is this enough?". I didn't understand anything and asked "What?"
He said, "You asked for a good word and so I said your name". For a moment I stopped talking, even though it felt cringy, it put a smile on my face". I said "Thank you dude" with a big smile on my face and turned to look at my friends (Aravind and Manoj), their face was like a street dog in an angry look.
They asked, "Who is he? Hereafter please don't talk with him".
I replied, "he is my cx friend. See him, how nice he is. Has anyone told me that my name is poetry? He is good and handsome right".
Aravind said, " Hey Mental!. Listen to us. I think he is not good. We can't digest these kinds of cringy dialogues".
I said "You are getting jealous. Am I correct"
Manoj said, "If you are going to talk like this, then I will screw your head and put it in the dustbin. Be quiet, I didn't get the output for my code". Then my friends were busy coding. Whenever Manoj gets angry, he used to talk in other languages, but the special thing about it is even Google struggles to translate it. No one will understand it.
My Birthday
The worst thing about our birthday is when it comes on festival days. Always my birthday will come on a festival day and I ever enjoyed my birthday with my friends. I have a lot of friends in the office and I thought I would get many birthday wishes. So what I did is I asked all my friends to wish me and please don't forget. Everyone was laughing at me and said "Are you crazy, will anyone ask for a wish? Don't be so silly". But what to do, I was longing for wishes because my friend's circle is very small. Though it is a festival, everyone was leaving early to catch the train and bus, because everyone was going to their hometown. While leaving they said goodbye to me and as usual, I said "Don't forget to wish me". Then for 10 to 15 minutes, I was wandering inside the office, going here and there and asking everyone to wish me on my birthday. Meanwhile, Karthi was also sitting in his place and busy with something else. I was standing behind him and thinking "Can I ask him too, but he is not that much close to me". He suddenly turned back and asked, "What abi?"
I said "The day after tomorrow is my birthday. Can you please wish me without fail?."
With a small smile on his face, he said " ok, give me your number". Then I gave my phone number to him. He saved it with my name. Before leaving the office I told him more than three times that "Don't forget to wish me, please keep a reminder in your phone". He smiled and said, "ok I won't forget". The next 2 days are holidays. So, all went to their hometown.
The next day is my birthday, I may get many wishes. Some may have planned to wish me at sharp 12 AM. So, I should not sleep. What I did is I slept in the morning, so that I won't feel sleepy at night. It was 11:45, I turned on my mobile data and waited for wishes. Then it became 12:00, then it became 12:30, then 1:00 o'clock, and then 3:00 o'clock. But I didn't get any wishes. I don't know when I slept, while I am waking up the time was 8:00 o'clock. I was holding my phone in my hands and went into a deep sleep. In the morning, while I am checking my phone I got wishes from my family members my sister, brother, brother-in-law. Then 3 of my friends texted me (Robin, Manoj, Aravind). Even though the day was not much like I excepted, it's okay. I was used to it because for every birthday I would get wishes only from my family members. But I don't know that the end of the day will be so great. Even on my birthday, I slept in the afternoon, so I didn't feel sleepy at night. After replying to everyone, I decided to watch a movie. It was already 11:30 pm, but I didn't feel sleepy, so I continued with another movie. Surprisingly I got a WhatsApp message. I don't know who it is. The text was "Hey, happy birthday. Extremely sorry for the last wish". I was confused and asked, "Who is this? Are you a boy or a girl?". Then he replied, "Hey, it's Karthi". I said "Your wish is the last one, Anyways thank you for your wish". I felt very bored and done with watching movies. So, I asked, "Are you free now?. Can I call you now. I am feeling so bored". He said, "Ya, sure". It was already 11:30 pm. Then I asked, "I expected your wish in the morning itself, I thought you forgot me".
He replied, "No no, I remembered but I went out with my friends. I entered the home just now. So I was wishing late. Anyway my wish is the last wish".
I said, "It's ok ok". Then we both were talking about our families, likes, and dislikes. The conversation extended till 4:00 am. Yet we didn't feel sleepy. At last, the battery of his phone got drained and he said "Let us talk tomorrow because my phone has only 1% charge". Then we hung up. My first question is no one will spend their time for anyone. The second one was am I an important person to him because, already he was tired and there was no charge on his phone, even though he talked with me for almost 3 hours. After we hung up, I was thinking about him deeply. I felt happy and comfortable while talking with him. With all these questions in mind, I went to sleep. I didn't take this seriously. After a few days, one of my friends called "Rahila" asked me for a love failure poem. She gave me the situation and asked for poetry. I wrote a poem but I don't know how it feels. The poem should not be so rude. So I sent the poem to Karthi and asked his opinion on it.
He said "It is awesome ma"
I asked "Is this rude? Because I do not want to hurt her"
He replied, "No, it is not rude".
Then I sent this poem to her and she said: "You are good at writing poems, why don't you try this?. One day you will become a great writer".
I replied "Thanks ma". I said thanks to Karthi too for helping me at this late night.
My Caring Friends
From my childhood, I have been an unlucky person not only in relationships but even in friendships. Whenever I pray to God, I will ask this question to him "When I will get committed, I am just done with being single. I want to get committed. Please show me a good boy". I think Even God doesn't have the answer to this. Maybe I don't have a love page in my life book, and that is why he gave me great friends. I have a lot of friends in my office. I can write a book with their names. But I want to mention a very few of them.
Manoj: He is my best friend with whom I can share everything. In the beginning, I called him "brother" and after days it became "hey". Then it became "dae", then it became a bad word "####". I always call him with a bad word. But no one can stand in front of him when it comes to caring. He is very close to my heart. He is very gentle and the king of offerings. He always used to offer food to beggars. I want to mention a special thanks to Manoj for teaching me all the bad words. He is my guru in bad words.
Aravind: He is my second favorite. His tone is "Hey mental". Whenever someone calls me mental, it reminds me of him. His speciality is, he won't consider me a girl. Whenever I say "I am a girl", He rushes there to mention that "I am a boy". But he is the same as Manoj. They are best friends from their college days. Yet I don't know how I got attached to these monkeys. Though he is my favourite I like to call him with a bad word "####".
Naveen: Even LKG students will behave maturely compared to him. He is working in the Plato team. When I first met him, I thought he was a very serious person. But it's upside down. He is my best best best friend. We all have that one friend who listens to all our gossip, chit-chat, and crazy talks. He won't get attached to people easily but I don't know how we became best friends. He is a very shy type when it comes to girls. I used to ask him "You said you won't talk to girls, you feel shy. But you are treating me well". His answer will always be "Because you're a boy". His specialty is he used to play hide and seek with his teammates. Sometimes the entire office will be looking for him and he will be working in the pantry or somewhere hidden very peacefully. I don't know why the hell he is having a cell phone, calling his cell phone is also a waste of time like him. Whatever it is, when it comes to protection and safety no one can beat him. Whenever I am crying he is the first one to wipe out my tears. He has a special place in my heart. Every girl should have a male friend like him.
Nirmal ji: We all have that one person, who helps us in our worst times. The person who motivates us. The person who trusts us more. He is a person who is more than my family. When I met him for the first time, I didn't expect that he would be the manager of the testing team. He was very normal and a person with 0% attitude and ego. The main thing about him is he is a foodie. Whenever there is an issue in the testing, he will gather everyone and will drag them to the hotel for lunch. He used to say, only food can solve all the problems. He never took anything seriously and was a very genuine person. If we have a person like him in our life, everyone will succeed. He is the first person to teach me leadership. He treats his team members equally and he doesn't have the attitude of a manager.
We all will roam together. If it is Friday night, we all will have dinner together. One day I was in my period and frustrated like something. Manoj was eating a samosa, and when I saw it, I got my cravings. So, I dragged it and started to eat. I put my head down and ate for almost 10 minutes. When I raised my head, all my friends were giving me an angry look. Actually, the total count of samosas is 12 and in that, I have eaten 6 samosas. They started to tease me “Is this a stomach or a water tank?”. The best part here is they paid the bill.
I love my friends. Friendship is a blessing and not everyone will get it. The only girl in a boy's gang is more special. They care for us, protect us, and treat us without gender discrimination. Whenever I ask for something, the next moment they will buy it for me. I don't know whether my boyfriend will care for me like this. They used to drop me when I had my periods and their first priority was my safety.
People used to say “Nowadays boys are not good, they will misbehave with you, you should be careful with them, they will use you, etc, etc, etc”. But in my point of view, not all the boys are the same. If a boy treats you as a friend, he will protect you like his sister, respect you as his mother, and understand you like your father. They will tease you till you cry, if someone else does it, they will kill them. A friendship between boys is good but a friendship between a boy and a girl is a real heaven. The bond between them is unbreakable. I am so grateful to have them as my friends. I love my friends because they are the reason for my smile.
Holding his hands
Usually, I will have a tea break with my friend's gang. But on that day they left me, and then myself and Praveen decided to have Tea together. We were standing outside of the office and discussing something, meanwhile, my cx friends asked “Are you going to have tea”. We said “Yes”. They said, “If it is so, join us”. There will be 2 lifts and we were waiting for the lift. Suddenly, a lift opened, myself and Praveen was talking seriously. Karthi asked “Are you coming ?” by holding the lift. Then we went with the cx team to have tea. The worst part of me is that though I am 24, I am still scared of crossing the road. Praveen and Karthi started to cross the road and I was still standing. Karthi noticed me and asked, “Are you afraid of crossing the road?”.
I said “Yes, a little bit. If my friends were there, they would help me”
My answer put a chuckle in his face and he held my hands very gently.
Praveen said, “Hey, what are you doing man?. Leave her hands”.
He said, “I won't leave her”. His answer put a smile on my face. Even after crossing the road, he didn't leave my hands. But if any of my friends see it, they will mistake it. So, I took my hands from his hands. While we were on the way to the tea shop, he was talking about the bike to Praveen.
I asked, “Are you going to buy a bike?”.
He said, “Yes, ma. I am planning to get a bike”.
I said, "If so, can you take me for a ride”.
He said “Ya, sure”
I said “Please, please, please. Promise me. Do you know, I love bike rides? Don't forget this”
He said, “Do you know something? You are my favourite”. I don't know the meaning of this. I said “Thank you” and offered him a chocolate for that. The day ended, I went home and got refreshed. Then I went to sleep. When I closed my eyes, I remembered his words “You are my favourite”.
I was thinking, he is really good. He was very gentle while holding my hands. He doesn't want to hurt me, by putting pressure on my hands. His act made a good impression on him. He is very caring and his girlfriend is the luckiest person in this world.
One day I was craving chocolate and asked all of my friends to buy chocolate for me if they go down to the shop. As usual, my friends didn’t buy it. At last, I went to Karthi and asked him to buy me a chocolate while he was going for a break. But he is different from my friends. I didn't expect he would buy me chocolate. He brought me a three-colored (orange-green-yellow) jelly chocolate. I ate one and gave the remaining to Sai. But he refused to eat, so I gave it to Karthi.
Then he used to text me on alternative days, but not often. One day I was going for a tea break with my friends. On the way, I saw him drinking something. Suddenly, I remembered he said he was a teetotaler. So, I tried to see what he was drinking. My full focus was on his glass, but I missed that he was already noticing me. Omg! When I noticed it, I took a U-turn to my office. But I succeeded in my mission. I was wrong about him, he was just drinking milk. Fastly, I went inside the lift, I was all alone there. There were mirrors on all three sides of the lift. I rushed inside the lift and pressed the 3rd floor. When I saw my face in the mirror, I felt shy and closed my face. I started to blush. Omg! What's happening to me? The way he looked at me made me feel shy. Then I took a marathon to my office. Whatever it was, I completed the day successfully and returned home.
I said to my heart “Nowadays, I am not normal. I am obsessed with him, my thoughts are wandering around him. I should stop these things”. But if we like someone, even god can’t stop us from falling for them. It’s human nature, no one can stop the feelings that we have for another person. When I thought to stop thinking about him, my thoughts about him increased. I smiled wherever I saw his name. Whenever I see him in the office, I feel shy and automatically my face is filled with blush. Many things in this world are holy and pure like the affection of a mother, and the first love of a girl. If a girl loves you truly, she can’t even see your eyes, and speak a word, when you are near her. I have many friends in boys, I never felt this way. I used to talk a lot with my friends, but when it comes to him, I become silent. A girl can be so rude, arrogant, or have an attitude with others but when it comes to her man, she behaves childish, soft, and affectionate. This is the power of girls, they can play both roles.
After a few days, one of his friends told me that he was not a good boy and he was not a teetotaler either. He said that Karthi lied to you, I think it's very easy to fool you. I got disappointed with Karthi and I didn't talk to him for a week. Even when he texts, I started to ignore him. Then one day I was working in my office reception and there were two sofas on each end. I was sitting on one end and he came and sat on the sofa at the other end. I noticed him but I didn't react.
He said “Hi, abi”
I replied “Hi” in an angry tone. I didn't even see his face.
He asked, “Are you busy?”
I said “Little bit”
Then I asked, “Can I ask you something?”
He said, “Yes, anything?”
I was really angry and asked, “Have you lied to me?. If so, please tell me. If you tell the truth I won't say anything”.
He replied, “Why am I going to lie to you?”
I said “Your friend told me that you are not a teetotaler, then why are you lying to me”
He asked “Will you believe whatever he says?” with a cute smile.
I said “I need a solid explanation for this. I need to know the truth”
He said “Oh, so this is the reason for your one-week protest( I didn't talk to him for a week). Ok, if I prove that I am a teetotaler what are you going to do?”
I said “First, prove yourself”
Then he made a call to his friend and put it on speaker. I was sitting near him. He was talking very casually. Then he called him to the bar. His friend said, “Anyway, you are not going to have anything”. This sentence clarified all my doubts. Then I gave a fake smile and messaged him a “sry” by sitting near him. He said, “It’s ok. No need for a sorry ma”.
I said, "no, I don't have any rights on you. I scolded you". He looked at me and said "You have all the rights ma".
Then we started talking very normally.
In between the conversation, he asked me “What is your opinion on relationships?”
I said, “I never loved anyone. I don't trust boys”.
He asked, “Why?”
I replied “I don't know”
He said, “Just try once”.
I said “I do not want”
He got angry and said “Without trusting anyone you can't live your life. If you are travelling in a bus, you have to trust the bus driver. Blaa…..blaaa…blaaa”, in an angry tone.
His dialogue made me shut my mouth. Then after a few minutes of argument, he said “Trust me once”
I asked him “Why should I trust you?”. After saying this I left the place.
One day I went down to have tea with my friends. Myself, Manoj and Aravind went to a chetta shop (where they usually have cigarettes). The speciality of this shop is, that they have a separate room for smoking. My friends dragged me into that room. That room was fully filled with smoke and I started to cough. I rushed outside and my manager noticed me. Even though I explained a lot to him, he didn't believe me. He said, "It's your wish ma". For many people, friends will be problem solvers but in my case, they are the problem creators.
Jealousy of a Man
It was one evening, my manager and my entire team were working from home. So, I was very lethargic in the office, having my tea, and taking a rest for some time, even though I will complete my work. It was around 5 pm, I had my tea with my friends and entered the office. Usually, the sofa in the reception will be occupied by someone, but on that day, it was free. So, I rushed to take my laptop and sat on that sofa. Around 5:30 pm, Karthi came and sat near me. He asked, “Where is your team? Is Praveen on leave today”.
I gave a glance and said “I don't know about him. I think he is not well”
The next moment he started to give a call to him. Everyone should learn how to irritate a girl from him. I got angry and said nothing. My face was like an angry street dog. I was thinking
“I am sitting next to him, but he is looking for someone else. Is he blind? How annoying is he? I don't like when he gives more importance to Praveen. Praveen is good and he is also my friend. But I want to be Karthi’s first priority. Ok, let me make him jealous”.
Then I was waiting for my time. One of his friends came and talked with him.
I was staring at his friend. I have seen him many times in the office but this time it would be different. After he went I asked Karthi “Who is that?”
He replied “My friend”. He notices that I am staring at him for almost 5 minutes. Then he asked, “Do you like him?”
Automatically I smiled with my 32 teeth and said “No”.
He replied “So, you like him?, am I correct”
I said “Yes, a little bit”
He asked, “Do you need his Instagram ID or any other social media ID”.
I said, “No, No, I won't trouble you. I can find them by myself. I don't need your help”.
He was silent for a few minutes and I asked about that boy's Slack ID (A platform through which we communicate for official purposes). Then I opened his Slack Id and tried to take his photo. In his Slack photo, he was looking normal but in front of Karthi I said “Wow, he is so handsome in this photo. Look, the black shirt suits him very well. He looks stunning in this photo. Can you please help me”.
Then he got a little jealous and asked me “Am I not beautiful, Am I not handsome”. The smile on my face vanished away and don't know what to reply. Then I said, “Yeah, you also look good”. He said “Thanks” in an angry tone and continued with his work. After a few moments, he asked, “Why do you like him?”. I said, “He treats girls with respect and care, that's why I like him”. Karthi asked “Am I not treating you with respect? Am I not good?” by looking into my eyes. His eyes were filled with tears. I didn't know what to reply, so I became silent for a moment. Oh my god! I made him cry. I replied, “Yeah, you are also good….” Then I left the place. I just did that for fun, but it turned out like this.
Day by day, our bond gets closer. I think I am falling for him. I smile differently when he is with me. Whatever happens in my day today, I want to share it with him. When I enter the office, automatically my eyes are searching for him. He is so caring, gentle and treats me with respect. Any girl would fall for him. I thank god for showing me a man like him. But I am not sure about him. Does he love me? This is the biggest question mark in my life. Should I want to ask him or should I wait? I am so confused and I left everything to God.
It has been almost 3 months since we started to talk. I know it is a very short period of time to trust a boy. Love is magic, we don't know to whom it will happen, so let me believe the magic. One day I was working very sincerely by sitting in the centre space. The cx table is clearly visible from the centre space. I worked for 2 hours, but I couldn’t complete the work, so I got tense. I closed the laptop and started to watch outside. Suddenly, my eyes went to search for Karthi when I saw him, I started to smile, and I felt happy. It is a different feeling when our crush passes by. It is like you get biriyani after 2 days of fasting. Only one-sided lovers can feel it. I was staring at him, and suddenly he seemed to be handsome in my eyes. I noticed him from head to toe without blinking my eyes. Even a minute feels like an hour.
Then again I started to concentrate on my work. How strange it is! Love can change even the worst time to a good one. When we love a person with a pure heart, we don't need anything else in this world. A girl is always ready to give up anything for her man. The day won't be fulfilled without his text. I understood that I was completely fallen for him. That evening his friend came to me and said "Abi, just ask Karthi, who gave this shirt to him". I was so confused and asked Karthi as he said. Karthi said, "one of my friends presented this as a gift". I said "ok". Then his friends surrounded me and said "Ask him who is that". Everyone there was teasing him, so I got curious. Then I asked him "Who is that?" By raising my eyebrows. He said, "A girl from my college presented this as a gift". I got jealous by hearing this, but I didn't express it. I said, "ok enjoy". Then he asked, "How is this shirt, I like it very much Abi?". I said, "the colour doesn't suit you, don't wear this again. If possible burn this by today". I want to burn this shirt right now, how dare she can do like this. A girl will present a shirt as a gift only if he is her father, brother or husband. I couldn't tolerate this. He is also saying "he likes it". The entire day I didn't talk to him, whenever I saw him I got angry and irritated. A girl will always be possessive of his man. She won't dare other girls to glance at him. Karthi also said that he likes the shirt. Actually, I was about to cry. But he will look handsome in a white shirt. I never seen him in a white shirt, and sometimes I wanted to ask him to wear a white shirt for me. If he wears a white shirt, sleeves up, and matching shoes he will look stunning. Monday and Wednesday he used to wear formal clothes. I had never seen a handsome man like him. Anyone will fall for his fit body, smile, and the way he combs his hair in one hand.
I go to the office by taking a bus and then a train. I love to travel, so even though my office is far, it doesn’t matter to me. I have crossed the Palavanthaangal station many times, but I never noticed a shop named “Karthi”, But today this shop's name reminds me of him. Wherever I see his name, I start to think about him. When I wake up my first thought will be him, also the day ends with his thoughts. Whenever I listen to a song, it also reminds me of him. It is like I am flying in the sky. I never experienced love in my life, is this how it feels like? But this feeling is extremely beautiful. He is the rainbow of my sky, I don't want this rainbow to fade away. Every day I started to wait for his text and for him. One day my father scolded me harshly. I started to cry by sitting on the balcony. It was around 9:30 pm, and there was no one there. I was sitting alone, seeing the stars and moon. The moon was shining brighter, and suddenly it reminded me of him. I opened his chat and thought of sending a message. But I started to read the chat from the beginning. The day he texted “Happy Birthday” to me, it was like I was talking with him. It felt like he was near me while reading his text, I heard his voice in my ears. Then I started to smile by thinking of him, even the breeze was whispering his name. I imagine what if I get married to him. Will have 2 kids, no no it's his wish (my cheeks turned red). Having a 9 to 6 job with holidays on the weekends. Holding his hands, leaning on his shoulders, and whispering his name in his ears. When I hold his hands, I will forget all my worries and he will become my entire world. He is my first love and my first happiness. Then I went to sleep with his thoughts.
Holding My Hands
I started to think about him every moment. Whenever I am traveling on a train( morning and evening), I use to wear headphones and read his chat. I would have read his chat more than 100 times. It has been memorized in my Subconscious mind. Whenever I feel like I miss him, I use to read his text. It became a habit for me, whenever I feel stressed or anxious, I think about him. One day my phone got rebooted and I lost all of his chats. It was like I lost all my happiness and he became very far from me. My eyes filled with tears and the next morning I went straight to him and asked “I need help”. He told me he is busy now and let's talk while I was leaving. On that day he was in the 6 AM to 3 PM shift. I was working in the center space and while he was leaving he just looked at me. Then I understood, he was calling me out.
I asked “I need your phone, our chat”
He said, “For what?”
I asked, “Please don't ask anything. I need them”. Then he opened our chat and gave it to me. I took screenshots of all the messages and sent them to my WhatsApp number. Meanwhile, he was talking with his friends. After finishing my work I returned his phone back.
He asked, “What are you doing? Why do you need these chats?”. I couldn’t see his eyes, it made me feel shy. It made it difficult for me to speak with him. We were talking by stepping down on the steps to the car parking.
I replied “Nothing important. I lost our chat. My phone got rebooted” with a sad face.
He said, “What are you going to do with these chats?".
I replied, "It's none of your business".
He said, " ok, where is Praveen, I didn't see him today". I got angry and said, "Oh if you want Praveen go and talk with him". I just hate it when he mentions Praveen's name. I got angry and turned back to step towards the office. He suddenly held my hands and stopped me. I didn't expect that he would hold my hands. It was like an electric shock, omg this was the first time a man held my hands. My friends would play by hitting my head and sometimes they would smack me, but I never felt this way.
Thousands of butterflies started to fly inside my stomach. For every girl, her man's first touch is always a special one. I can't forget that moment, it was 4:17 pm in the evening. I started to blush but I didn't show it in front of him. Then he said, "Wait wait don't go ma, ok you are more important to me than Praveen. Hereafter I won't mention Praveen's name. Ok, are you happy now". I shook my head in all directions with a smile on my face by looking into his eyes.
He asked "Had your tea? Or else let's go and have tea"
I replied, "No no, my manager will search for me. I have to go" (Whenever I am seriously working in the office no one will search for me, but if I step out for tea or anything else, the whole team will search for me, especially my manager). After saying bye to him I returned to my seat. I entered the office with a blush on my face. The entire day I was thinking about him and smiling like crazy. People say love is blind but the truth is people become blind in love. I didn't sleep in the night, I was rewinding the moments again and again. It made me crazy and I was so happy.
The next day I was sitting on the sofa that is in the reception. I was busy with some work. It was around 4 pm. He was leaving the office while crossing me
He asked, “Abi, why are you sad?”
I replied, “No, no. little tired. I am not well”
He asked, “Why what happened?”
I replied, “Nothing. Just cold”
He said, “ok, take care ma”, then he left the office.
After 10 minutes I felt drowsy, so I called him on the phone and said “I am going to have juice. Wanna join?”
He replied, “Omg!, it will take 10 minutes. Because I am having my lunch. I will be there in 10 minutes ma”. I went down and had some juice. Then I felt ok and went back to work. After 20 minutes he called me and asked: “Have you gone back to the office?”. I replied “Yes”. Then he went home. I called him because I wanted to spend time with him. If he is near me or in front of my eyes, I feel happy. If he leaves I start to miss him very badly.
He is My Pillar
I used to wake up with his text and go to bed with his “good night” text. But one day god showed me without these things how horrible my day will be. On that day I behaved so arrogantly with everyone and scolded all of my friends. I just guessed I am going to have my period. On that night I was having the worst cramps. I don't have the energy to call my mom too. I am too tired of the pain. I cried a lot. Girls can bear pregnancy pain, but period pain kills us inside out. Even though it hurts hard, we have to smile outside. It is the worst thing in life. The pain will be like stabbing your uterus with thousands of pins. This pain will be there for a complete three days. Many girls will have painkillers for period cramps, but I won't have anything. That night I called him more than 5 times and waited for his text. Maybe talking with him can reduce the pain. He didn't call me back or text me back. I cried a lot and went to sleep in pain. My first day was very horrible and the next day, the pain was bearable. But the whole day I was sad. I thought I could see him in the office, but he took a week off on that day. In the evening he called me, but I didn't attend the call. After reaching home he called me and asked: “What happened?”.
I replied “Nothing”,
He asked “I was busy yesterday, so I couldn’t attend your call”,
I replied “ok”,
He asked “Why are you answering in one word, what happened to you?”,
I said “I am on my period and I have stomach pain,”
He asked “How is it now? Are you ok now?”
I asked “Can I ask you something? May I know what is the important matter that you were handling yesterday?”
He said “My friend's mother was not well and we were in search of a blood donor for her”
I said “Yesterday I couldn’t bear the pain, so I called you again and again” and I started to cry.
He said “I am so sorry ma. Can you please forgive me one time? I know I should have been there for you at this time. But I didn't know that you have suffered this much. I am sorry ma”
I replied, “It’s ok. But don't do this again,”
He asked, “Had your dinner?”
I replied “No,”
He asked, “Why?”. Again I started to cry.
I replied, “No, I didn't have anything yet. I couldn’t bear the pain”.
He asked “Why didn't you eat anything? Go to the kitchen and have something,”
I said “No, in my home we should not touch anything while we are on our periods. I should not enter the kitchen. It is like a sin in my home,”
He asked, “Then how will you eat?”
I replied “They will give me a separate plate and tumbler. I should eat only on that plate. My mom went to the temple and was not yet home. So, I didn't eat. There is no water too. Still, I didn't drink a drop of water after I reached home. I am so thirsty and hungry”.
He said, “If you know this before, you should have brought some fruits. It’s ok, please don't cry. If your mom comes, ask her to soak the Fenugreek in water and have them in the morning. You will feel better”.
After talking for a few minutes I went to sleep. Talking with him made me feel better. If my pain got worse my mom used to give me a pain killer. People think painkillers can reduce pain, but treating us with care is more than enough. During the menstrual cycle, girls need affection, Care, and not painkillers. Don't isolate girls during periods, it is the worst punishment that you can give to a girl. The menstrual cycle is a natural process and it is not a sin to isolate a woman. Every living being has its own way of life and there is a reason for everything. Even the animals used to have menstrual cycles, but their family is not isolating them. Only humans have such idiotic rules. A girl should not go out, should not enter the temple, should be isolated, and should eat on a separate plate. If a girl didn't have a menstrual cycle, there wouldn't be a creation of a new being. A girl is also a living being and her way of living is her own right. No one has the right to take away her rights. So, if you can’t care for a girl, it’s ok, but don't disrespect her. Giving her freedom is the best way to respect her.
Missing him badly
In the morning, he texted me “Are you okay now?”. I replied “Yes” and got ready to go to the office. The entire day I was feeling uncomfortable and very tired. These three days I didn’t talk to him much, I knew if I talk to him I will end up having a fight. So, I was giving a one-word answer for all of his text. After reaching home, I had my dinner and went to bed. I didn't feel sleepy, so I was thinking about him. I asked myself “Are you in love with that boy?”. I don't know but I like him. We can fool anyone but not our heart. I was thinking of asking him for a day out. But what he will think, definitely his answer will be “no”. How a girl will ask. At last, in the fight between my mind and heart, my sleep won the match. The next day he didn't come to the office, I was scared because he didn't say anything to me. I gave a call to him, but he didn't pick up. So, I went straight to his table and asked “Why didn't he come today?”. They said, “he resigned. You don't know about that?”. I didn't speak a single word and went back to my place. My eyes filled with tears and my heart filled with pain. Why didn't he say that to me? I texted him, but he didn't reply. I felt disappointed and went home. It was a Friday evening, so I was watching a movie. Even though I try to concentrate on something, my thoughts are obsessed with him. Around 11:30 pm he texted me.
“Hey Abi, hi” After seeing his text I felt very happy and asked “Have you left the office”
He replied, “No, who said that?”
I said “Your friends”
He said “Maybe its for fun”
I replied “Can I call you? Are you free”
Then he called me and said, “What happened ma?. Are you alright? I told you last week, I have my sister’s marriage. So, I will be on leave for a week”.
I was shocked and asked “What?...... I can't see you for a week,”
He asked, “Why what happened?, Is there a problem?”
I replied “No, but……………………. Ok, leave it. You will be tired of work so go and take rest”
He said “I am a little bit tired but it's ok. Tell me,”
I asked, “Nothing…….”
He said “So, you have nothing to talk about. Then ok, I will hang up the call,”
I said “wait….wait……I wanna say something,”
He said “Yes,”
I said “I missed you, I miss you………….When will you come?”
He said “Oh……”
I asked, “You didn't miss me?”
He said, “Tomorrow morning is my sister’s marriage. It is already 12 am. But I am talking with you from this you should have known how much I am missing you”. His answer made a smile on my face.
I asked “So, you won't say “miss you” right,”
He said “ok madam. I miss you” with a smile.
I said “ok, you will be tired. Go and take some rest but remember you have to face the consequences for not replying to me today,”
He said “Anything for you. Ok, I will take you out, once I am there”
I said “Let me try!, Ok now go to sleep”
He said “bye” and went to sleep.
I was so happy that he asked me for an outing. I didn't sleep the entire night. It was like butterflies flying inside my stomach. But the sad thing is I can't see him for a week. It is like standing inside a fire circle. I prayed to god, give him all the happiness, let him be happy. He didn't call me or text me. I was counting the days, hours, and even the minutes. Without his text or call, I became stressed. Always I was thinking about him. I didn't have my food properly and also I didn't take care of myself.
He didn't call me after that. It had been almost a week, he was busy with his sister’s marriage. I don't want to disturb him, so I didn't text him. After getting free, he will text me. At one point, I couldn’t bear this pain. I hate this distance between us. People say “distance will increase the affection between people”, yes I agree with that. This feeling is horrible, It kills me inside out. Even this earth is like hell to me. Then I texted him “Miss you”. When a girl says “miss you”, it's not just a word. It is the word that describes how much she is longing for you, how much she waited for you, how much she loves you.
At last that one week was over and I went to the office with excitement. I went earlier, so that I could spend some time with him. I waited till afternoon, he didn't come. So, I texted him “Are you coming to the office”
He replied, “I am in my hometown. My grandma died”.
After seeing this text, I called him the next moment. But he didn't attend my call.
He texted “I can’t talk ma. Text me, ma,”
I asked, “When did she die?”
He said “This morning. We didn't expect this”,
I asked “Have you eaten something?”
He said “No, I didn't eat anything from the morning”
I said “Please eat. You need some strength”
He replied “I am not hungry. Will eat afterward”
I didn't force him. I said “goodbye” and went to sleep.
I know how he will feel. If our favorite person leaves us, it will be the worst moment. Sometimes we will have expectations on them. They will be forever in our life but the reality is not like that. If they leave us, we have to live with their memories. Our heart won't accept that they are no more in our life. When it comes to our family, we will shatter into pieces. I understood how difficult this situation was for him. I respected his feelings and left him alone. The next day I went to the temple and I did an ordination(Archanai) in his name. I prayed
“Hey god! He is facing many difficulties. Protect him from that. I love him so much. Let him be happy. Don't make him stressed. Always give him the best. He is a very good person and he never hurt anyone. So please be a protector for him”.
After two days he texted me that he would be working from home for another week. I just said “ok”. Another week without him is an impossible mission for him. I hate this distance between us. I want to tell him how much I miss him but this is not the correct time. So, I didn't speak to him about this. I will talk about this once he becomes normal. Every night I waited for his text and call. Sitting on the balcony, seeing the moon, and his memories, and waiting for his call became my routine.
Sometimes waiting is also a good feeling. Without seeing him, every moment is like hell for me. Day by day his thoughts went deep into me. Longing for our loved ones is like shattering your heart into many pieces. Though I smiled outside, my eyes were always in search of him. Whenever I go to the office, the first thing I notice is his chair. I know he is working from home, but maybe he can come early. Love makes people crazy. They know the reality, but our heart won't accept it. He said that if he has time he will call at night. So, I won't sleep at night and will wait for his call daily.
After one week he came to the office. He was doing a day shift. Even though it is love, I should not depend on him more. So, I was concentrating only on my work. I started to avoid him. If I depend on him more, it can hurt both of us in the end. He noticed that I am not talking with him like before. While leaving he gave me a call, I noticed it but I didn't pick up. He was seeing that from far away. He texted me
" Hey abi
I am a little bit busy yesterday
So I couldn't talk to you
What are you doing?
Ok, come to the office, let's talk
Why you are not replying to my messages
Abi I didn't understand anything
I called you while I am leaving the office but you didn't pick
Are you busy or are you avoiding me intentionally?"
For this entire message, I texted "Nothing gn". I don't want to hurt him and also I don't want to get closer to him. So, I started to leave a space between us. The next morning I was a bit early at the office. He came straight to me and asked “ Abi, I didn't understand anything. Why what happened? Am I did anything wrong?. Please say anything”. I couldn’t see his eyes. So, I replied, “The mistake is not yours, it's mine”. He said, “No, I didn't understand anything”. I said, “Let’s talk about this later”. Then he went to his seat.
Once he went I rushed to the washroom. I couldn’t control myself. I started to cry heavily, I couldn’t confess my love and also I couldn’t see him like this. If we love someone truly we can’t hurt them and also we can’t see them hurt. Then he called me in the evening and asked “What happened ma. Is there any problem?”. I said “No”. For some time I was answering in one word. Then he said, “From next week I won't come to the office. I will be doing the night shift”.
I replied “Oh, ok”
He asked, “Are you free this Sunday?”
I asked, “Why?”
He replied “Let’s meet”
I said, “I don't know, whether I am free or not?”
He replied, “We can go to the beach”. Since my childhood, I have loved the beach. But my father won't allow us to go. When he said beach, I was excited and said “Yes”, and waited for the Sunday.
The day before, Karthi confirmed whether he was coming or not. I said will try because I was a little bit not well. For almost one week I waited for this day, so I decided to go. In the morning, he confirmed the timing. I said "I will get ready by 3:00 pm and I will reach the place by 4:00 pm. He said, "The climate is very hot so don't travel at that time". I said "ok". Around 2:30 pm I started to get ready. At 3:15, I stepped out of the house. From my childhood, my craziness for the beach has never decreased. My excitement is more for the beach than for Karthi. Half the way he called me and asked
"Hey, where are you?”.
I replied " I am almost there and will be in half an hour"
He was shocked and said "Hey idiot, I told you to call me after leaving your home. I still didn't take a bath. Why are you doing like this ma?"
By hearing his sweet scoldings, I chuckled for a moment. I almost reached the common bus stand, but I didn't know the way further. So, I took an auto and they said "Even an auto will go only some distance, you should walk for a further distance ". After getting out of the auto, I started to walk towards the beach road. I love walking, so I started my walk towards the beach. I am so excited to see the beach because it was the decade I went to the beach. I should thank Karthi for this meeting. Trees are there on both sides of the road. Finally, I reached the beach which put a smile on my face. I called him to verify whether can I go in or not. He said, "Ya, sure. You go and wait there. I will be there in 15 minutes". The next moment I stepped my foot on the sand. I found a comfortable place to sit. It is not crowded and also not that much free. Next to me, there were some college students and they were chit-chatting. On my right side, there was a Telugu family. Everyone was happy and playing, but I was waiting for my friend. It was about 5:20, I received a call from him, I attended it.
He said, "Where are you?, I can't find you here".
I noticed him and started to guide him. At last, I shook my hands in all directions. Then I faced towards the beach. He came and sat near to me. I didn't even see his face. He brought me 2 milky bar chocolates. Even though I don't like Milky Bar, I accepted with a smile.
He said, "Am I late?"
I replied "Yes, but it's ok"
He asked, "Had your lunch?"
I replied "Yes"
He said "How is your father"
I replied "Good"
For every question, I gave a single-word answer. At one point he asked me "Why are you not talking, come on speak up".
I faced the beach and said, "These moments are very precious in my life, I love to see the beach, it reminds me of my whole life".
He said, "I often come to the beach, I am not that much excited. My house is nearby, so I used to come here often. If I feel low I will come here to find some peace". Then for some time, we were talking about our family and problems. He said, "Let's have a walk".
I said, "No no, I want to be here". Then he compelled me to get up. I thought he will help me to get up, so I raised my hand. But he was busy checking his phone. Then I got up by myself. By watching the sea waves, we walked by gossiping about the couples there. After some distance, I saw a crowd and asked him "What is that?, everyone was standing, I want to see that". I held his hands and rushed there. A boy was singing songs with a mic and guitar. It was so beautiful and pleasant to hear. There were many couples singing with him. The first song he sang was "kadhaipomaa", by hearing the song, I turned toward Karthi. He was busy listening to the song. He was standing very close to me, the breeze was a little bit cold, love music in the breeze, he was holding my hands and the sound of sea waves. It was a perfect romantic moment. He was very beautiful and handsome in that blue shirt. His manliness pulled me towards him. Unknowingly I stepped towards him to kiss him. Suddenly he turned towards me and I came to consciousness. For a moment I have fallen for him. Thank god, I came to consciousness, what would have happened if I kissed him? Then went back to listen to the song. The boy was singing his next song "mudhal nee mudivm nee", it was my favourite song. I was jumping by hearing that. I said "It is my favourite song Karthi" with full of happiness and excitement. I was shaking him and beating his hands. My childishness put a chuckle in his face. The moment our eyes met and my heart started racing. He looked into my eyes, he is 1 inch taller than me. So, it looked like a perfect couple, perfect time, perfect moment. Even the sun was about to set. I never expected this would be a romantic day for me. After some minutes I pulled my hands from his hands. I thought "Am I crossing my limits, what he will think about me, please control yourself". Then he said, "Let's have a walk ma". Then I gave my purse, mobile, and everything to him. He holds my hands and we both walk to the end of the beach. In the middle of the conversation, I told him that one of my friends asked for a kiss and I was going to give one. He gave a shocked reaction; unheld my hands; gave me an angry look and said “What. Are you mad?”. I never saw him that angry, he didn't speak a word for a few minutes. I called his name, but he continued to walk away from me. I stopped him and said “Ok, I won't kiss him. I will promise you”. Then he held my hands and said “Abi. You should kiss a man, only when you love him. You can't kiss a random person”. I had a puppy face and listened to all his advice. How caring is he? I think he got possessive. I liked his cute scoldings, I admired him when he was scolding me. Even in his scolding, I can see his affection and care.
Then there was a slap, I asked him "Shall we sit here, my legs are paining". Behind our slap, 10 feet gap, there was a couple and they were sitting very close to each other. I was very curious about what they were doing. So, instead of talking with Karthi, I was watching them. After some time we started to gossip about each couple on the beach. Suddenly, his phone rang, he answered the call and talked very seriously. I got bored and I started to play with his hand. I held his hands tightly and was in deep thought. I felt very sleepy and took a 10-minute nap on his shoulder. After a few minutes, I woke up and asked "Why didn't you wake me up?". He said, "Because, I don't want to. Are you feeling sleepy, you can't sleep here ma". I said, "ok ok". We started our conversation, I said "Our friendship may hurt in the end, let's not talk further". He held my hands tightly, sat very close to me, and said "I won't leave your hands at any cost. I can't make a decision like you did. People are more important in my life. I can't leave you ma. Let's sort this out together. Trust me once". For a moment I don't know what to do. Then I took my hands from his hands. In between the quarrel, I forgot to notice the time. It was 7:45 pm. It was almost dark. I ever visited the beach at night time. It was really great. The stars were sparkling in the sky and the moon was smiling at us. I said, "I have to leave, it's almost dark". He replied, "We didn't yet enjoy the sea waves, so before leaving at least we can stand in the wet sand". I am a little bit scared of sea waves and I said: "No, I won't come, you please go". He gave his hands and said, “Don't be scared, I am with you. I will take care”. He told me to hold his hand tightly. Then he dragged me towards the waves. While the first waves came, I held his arms tightly in fear. After a few waves, I started to enjoy it. The feeling was very good. Spending time with our loved ones with the sea waves, moon, music, and breeze was a perfect feel. I held his arms tightly and captured this moment in my heart. Right now I want to say this to him "I want to hold your arms like this, look into your eyes, and feel you every moment. Let this moment make a footprint in our love diary". I don't know what he feels, but at this moment I forget about the world and he became my world. A girl doesn't need a luxury life or a rich man. A girl just needs a man who cares for her, understands her well, and holds her hand in front of everyone. Then he said, "It's getting late for you, come wear your chappal ma". Every time When he calls me "ma", my heart melts and just falls for him.
Then we went to the bike stand to take his bike. It was too crowded on the way so he was protecting me with his hands. It made me feel "if I get a man like him, I am the luckiest girl in the world". After reaching the bike stand I said "will take an auto". He said "I am going to my sister's house, so I will drop you at the Sholinganallur bus stand. I was silent for a moment and said "ok". He asked me to wait in a corner and he brought his scooter. I just love scooters, because it will be more comfortable to sit on. I sat on the double-side and held the backside of the bike. Then he started the scooter and also his conversation. He asked me "Do you want to see actor Ajith sir's house". I replied, "Yes, yes". Then he took many turns and stopped in front of an unconstructed building and said “This is under construction and this is for Ajith sir”. If he was my friend, definitely I would have given him a slap, but I can’t slap him. Even though I don't like comedy, I smiled and said “You are good at doing comedies”. His phone started to ring and it was Sai. While he was talking, I asked him "If I talk now, what you will do, you will get caught". The next moment he rushed to close my mouth with his hands. I was sitting behind him on the bike and he was talking for almost 5 to 6 minutes. I got tired, felt sleepy, and started to sleep by lying on his shoulders. He patted my head with his hands. This moment is the cutest one in my life. A girl can't forget how a man treated her. I won't forget these cute moments, I should thank god right now. After a few minutes, I woke up and asked him "Have you done with your call". He said, "Yes, ma. Shall we leave". I said, "Yeah, yeah". Suddenly he told me to get down. He adjusted his hair, rubbed his hands, folded his sleeves, and gave a terrifying look. I got scared and there was no one in the street. He started to walk towards me. His every step made me nervous and I almost started to shiver. He came very close to me. I thought "OMG! Is he a bad boy? It's my mistake, I came with him. I shouldn't have trusted a man. What is he going to do? There is no one in the street. God! Please save me this time. If you keep me safe, I will offer 5 Badam laddu for you". He came very close to me and I asked "What?" in a scolding tone. He said "Can you move a little, I want to take my helmet". By hearing this "OMG!, for a moment I framed him as a Bastard. But he is so nice". I wanted to apologize to him but my ego didn't allow me to. Anyhow he guessed and asked "Have you thought, am I a bad boy?, don't worry, I have some manners '. I just closed my eyes with my hands and said "No, no. I trust you" with a smile. He replied, " Yeah, Yeah, I have seen your trust on your face". Then he started the bike and it was around 7:45 pm.
I said "Do you know something, I love bike rides. But I don't know whether my husband will take me out like this?"
He said "Yes, do we have any other work than this? Are you interested in love marriage?"
I replied "Yes, but still I didn't find anyone. I won't trust anyone."
He asked, "Why?"
I replied, "I didn't find a man with my taste and to love a man, we should have some chemistry between us".
He said, "Don't worry, you will get a good boy like me".
This dialogue put a blush in my face. I replied, "I will be very glad to have a boy like you". After hearing this he was silent for a few minutes.
A bike ride with our loved ones is the dream of every girl. Today it's happening to me. Maybe this moment is the "Magic of love". It was around 8:05 pm, it was a full moon day, the cold breeze hit my face, and his mesmerizing lovable words. After a few minutes, he was riding the bike at 30km. I want to go home because it's getting too late. But I don't want to ruin this moment.
He asked me "Is your left hand free?".
I was a bit confused and said "Yes, but for what?"
He said, "Give me your hand, don't get scared, I won't do anything".
I went a little bit closer to him and gave him my hand. He grabbed it and held it tightly. I got scared and said "What are you doing? Are you going to ride this bike in one hand, please focus on riding."
He said, "Shuuu!. Just tell me one thing. What should I do to earn your trust?. Believe me ma, I won't ever leave you. Give me a chance!. Trust me one time".
Then he made my hand to hold him, it was literally like I was hugging him. I was so shocked and asked him "Why are you saying these things to me? I don't understand what you are talking about?". I asked, "Are you interested in me?". He said, "If I say yes, what would be your answer?". Then I asked, "So, do you love me?". He said, "I am the one who shot the question first. Answer my question". Then we started our love fight. Finally, he stopped the bike and said "Get down, let's sort this out right now! The moon was shining more, we were standing on the walking path. It is a long road and the breeze is a little bit colder. He was standing near the bike and I was standing on the pedestrian path.
He said, "ok, let's talk now. I want to see your face".
I said "What's in my face" with a blush.
By continuing I said, "I wanna go home, it's getting late, please......".
He replied, "You can go home later ma, first answer me properly" in an affectionate tone.
I asked, "What do you want to know?"
He said, "What will be your answer if I say I am interested in you?"
This question put a blush on my cheeks and I was silent for a moment. I asked him back "Do you love me?". He started to smile and said, "If so, what will be your answer". It was a precious moment for me, what can be more cute than a boy getting nervous to propose to his girl?. Every girl enjoys this moment. He was struggling to say the three magical words. So, I helped him. I said, "So, you love me, am I correct?".
He said "No, No, I didn't say that I love you. I just asked your opinion" with a blush.
I replied "Dude, you have got caught. Agree with that dude, with laughter"
He replied, "No, No. You just cheated. I didn't say anything". We both were smiling at each other. Eye contact with our loved ones is a mesmerizing moment. He stepped forward to me, and suddenly my heartbeat started to race.
Right now I want to hug him tightly and say the three magical words. But something has stopped me. Then he asked me about the poetry that I wrote for him. I said, "You said you didn't love me, so the poetry is not for you". He said "Ma, please.. please. Tell me, I am so curious. Let me hear it once" in a childish tone. I started to laugh and said, "It's getting late for me. Let's go".
It was already 8:45 pm, but I wanted to stay with him a little longer. Finally, he dropped me at the bus stand. I was waiting for the bus and said: “I will take a bus, you please leave”.
He said “No, no. I will leave once you leave. Can I ask you something?”
I said “If I say no are you going to stop? yes tell me”
He asked, “What kind of relationship do you want?”
I said “I need a man who loves me a lot, who cares for me a lot, and who is ready to marry me”.
He said, “For what else a man is going to approach you?”.
Then I saw an auto crossing me. So I went to that auto bhai and asked him “Are you going to Tambaram?”. The auto bhai said “Yes”. Then I said bye to Karthi and I sat in the corner seat of the auto. While leaving I took a look at him whether he went or not. But he was standing in the same place and staring at me. His eyes were filled with expectations, doubts, and affection.
The day went very well and I was so happy. The entire night I didn't sleep. I rewinded every moment I spent with him. The next day I was very happy and smiling all day. Many people would have thought “She has to go to a mental hospital”.
I hope he is in love with me. So I decided to confess to him. I asked him is he is free next week. He said “Yes”.
Then I said, “I need to talk to you”.
He asked “Ma, from tomorrow I will be on the night shift”
I replied, “Oh, I can't see you. It's ok”. My heart knows how difficult it is.
He said “ok, you said. You need to say something. Tell me,”
I said “No, I want to say that in person,”
He said “Oh, you won't say that on call?”
I said “yes……….” with a blush.
I know he would have guessed with my tone what I am going to say. Then he scheduled the meeting in the same place; time and on Sunday. Then I was waiting for Sunday. In love, waiting is also a happy moment. I am smiling in his thoughts with tears in my eyes. What a wonderful feeling!.
Today is Saturday and I am going to meet him tomorrow. I am so excited, after a long gap I am going to meet him. So, I will wear a maroon color top and black color leggings. Also a bangle in one hand and my favorite jimikki earrings.
On Sunday, he came to the bus stand to pick me up. Then we went to the beach and sat in the same place. It was an hour, but I didn't speak a word. He started to watch a cricket match and said “The match will end in 10 minutes, I am giving you 10 minutes, within that you should start talking”. The match was over, and even after that, I didn't speak. I got nervous and was sitting like someone had put gum in my mouth. He tried a lot to make me speak, but I was so stubborn. At last, he asked me to get up and he dragged me to a nearby place (slant of sand). He lied on that said and told me about his ex-girlfriend's story. Meanwhile, my thoughts were wandering “How am I going to tell him?”. He told me to see him while talking, but I wasn't able to see his eyes. I started to blush, he noticed that and asked “Are you blushing abi?”. With a smile, I shook my head. He held my hands and asked me “Are you in love with me?”. My heart started to race, What I should reply? We were sitting very close, but I didn't see his eyes. He was repeating the same question again and again. I will speak a thousand words in a minute in front of my friends but saying one word in front of him is more difficult. It started to sweat, even in the breeze of the beach. With lots of desire in my eyes, love in my heart, a lovely smile on my face, holding his hands tightly, looking into his eyes, I shook my head and said “yes”. I know he would also feel the same, he dragged me towards him and I was into his arms. Girls dont need money, luxurious life or any expensive gift. A small smile and some time of her man is more than enough. Holding his hands, lying on his shoulders, sitting in front of the beach, watching the sea waves, what else a girl needs. I said, “I need to be with you like this forever”. He gave me a forehead kiss and said “Always”. After spending some time we both headed to the bike stand. He told me that he would drop me at the bus stand.
Then he started the bike, we were silent for a moment. Then I hugged him tightly and I forgot all my problems. Right now he has become my world, I want this bike ride lifelong. My heart started to melt for his love. He didn't speak for some time, so I asked, "Do you really want to hear the poetry". He said, "Yes. I want to" in a childish tone. Slowly I went near his ears and whispered something. He wasn't able to hear it properly, so he started to ask me again and again. But I was playing with him by saying “No, I didn't hear you properly. What did you say”. Suddenly, a lorry from the other side lost control and came in the direction of our bike. Karthi couldn’t balance it, then the lorry hit our bike. It turned out into an accident. We both didn't wear helmets and got seriously injured.
When I opened my eyes I was in the hospital. When I came to consciousness, my first word was “Karthi”. I got injured in my legs and in my head. I couldn't even get up from my bed, my shoulders were in pain. When the nurse entered my room I asked “Nurse, in the accident spot, my boyfriend was also there with me. Can you please ask the doctor about his status? Can I see him now? Please, please, please”. I started to cry in front of her, she panicked and said will check and let you know. I didn't get any updates so I tried to get up from my bed. I unplugged the trip's needle from my hand, it started to bleed heavily. But I didn't mind it and tried to walk towards the room door. At some distance, my leg slipped away and I was about to fall. Suddenly a man came and held me and stopped me from falling. The nurse came and said, “he was the one who admitted you to the hospital”. I asked him “Do you know the status of the boy who was with me in the accident”. He said, “First of all please settle down. Let's talk.”
I shouted “ Please tell me know… Please..please..please. I am his girlfriend.. Please… Anyone please tell me how is my karthi”, I started to behave arrogantly by breaking all the things in the room. He held both my hands from the backside and said “he is alright. Calm down for a moment”. Only after hearing these words, I become silent. After a few minutes, he came to me and said “It has been 2 days since you were unconscious in the hospital”. I asked him to meet Karthi. He sat near me, held my hands and said “I know it will be harder for you, but this is the time to know the truth. Your boyfriend is dead”. By hearing these words, my heart stopped for a moment, my hands started to shiver, the entire world in front of my eyes was stopped, and my eyes started to shed tears automatically. I was silent and didn't speak a word. He said “ I can understand you. On the day of the accident, I saw you both in an injured condition on the road. You were in an unconscious state and he was injured very badly. I tried to wake you up, but you didn't wake up. But your boyfriend was holding his soul for you. He got injured at the back of his head. He lost more blood but he was conscious. I called the ambulance and told them about the two of you. I held his head to stop the blood, and at that time he pointed out you. I couldn’t understand. Finally, the ambulance came but they told me there was only one oxygen mask. Karthi pointed out to you and said to save you. He knows he is going to die and in his last moments, he holded your hands. He told me to say this to you “You are my poetry, my beautiful”.
By hearing this I started to cry hard. You sacrificed your life for me. Karthi, I need you, please come back. I am nothing in front of your love. You needed to hear that poetry right? If I say so, you will come to me.
I don't know when it started
I made your path as mine
I smiled when your smile
I am falling for you without knowing it
I will love you till the sea dries
I will love you till the sky fades
I will love you till my last breath………….