My dearest Francine,
It has been three weeks since I arrived in Massachusetts and left you and the children behind in Massachusetts. I have arrived at the loading docks and prepare to set sail for France
I write to express my fondness for you and our children, Charlie, Jen, Jonny, and our soon to be Flo. You fill my heart with love.
I miss the witty messages you left for me when you left the house each morning. I miss your huge smile. I miss your warm hands against mine.
How is your mother’s recovery coming along? I have found the very best doctors here in Boston. Upon my return, I shall bring you and your mother here for a full recovery.
Will write again when I arrive.
Your loving husband,
Benny
P.S. Give each of the children a hug from their papa
My love,
I was overjoyed to receive your letter this week. Knowing that you are keeping me in mind makes my heart jump for joy.
My mother has taken a bad turn and I do not believe she will make it past the next few months. If she does, I believe we should spend our last moments together in our home, without the shadow of doctors.
The children have returned to school and are working hard. However, they miss you dearly and are constantly asking, “When is Papa coming home?”
My dear, I miss you greatly. I miss the rough touch of your craggy beard. I miss the warm cuddles we have at night.
Getting through these past few lightning storms without you has been hard but Charlie has stepped up to fill your shoes for a while.
I eagerly await your next note.
Farewell my love,
Francine
My darling,
I write this and beg for your forgiveness when I tell you I have been summoned to stay and fight in the trenches in France, under the U.S first division.
It seems that my name has been passed to our commander and he believes I should be on the ground with our troops.
One of the youngsters was messing about with hand grenades and drew uncalled for attention to our bunker, leading to extra shots being fired, putting not only himself in danger but the rest of our division. He is was given a red chevron for his uniform and is being dishonorably discharged later this afternoon and upon arriving home, he will be facing military trial, as well as multiple fines. I do have hope for him, but I'm not quite sure where his path will lead.
I have taken your hint and broken all bridges with medical help here in Boston. In writing to you I find comfort in this new journey.
I miss you with my whole heart and long to be next to you once again.
B
Benny,
My mother is starting to fail. I feel as though this will be her last week and she asked me to write you this note from her:
"My dearest son, as I depart from this life and move to my next journey, I want you to know that you will always have the love and support of our family. We love you as one of our own and always have. When I am no longer with you, I want to know that you will put my daughter and grandchildren before all else. Please never leave their side.
Sincerely,
Grandma J"
Last week, the children took me to their favorite spot in the woods. I have attached an image of the spot that brought me closer to you, knowing that you are taking the field.
You mean the world to me and the children. Come home safe, if not for yourself then for the children.
Write soon, my love.
Yours truly,
Francine
My one and only,
As we were moving out, a few of our youngers were caught in the crossfire of the tanks. While most were picked up and taken to the medical tent. However, a good number of them did not make it and are lying dead in the field, with no one able to get to them. We were unable to retrieve the dog tags of those who were lost, and they now lay alone in the field. The trenches are now in mourning for the many we have lost today and doing our best to ensure it does not happen again.
Our commander has been more than generous in helping prepare a funeral for you mother if needed. All parts are in the process of being arranged and you do not have to worry about any of it, just spend your mothers last moments with her.
As I am writing this my love, I am feeling your warm smile and warm heart against mine. Not sure when I will have another chance to write, but I promise it will be the first thing I do when I am able.
Until later,
Your husband forever
Darling,
Please stay safe. I hope you can move in the back of your platoon and stay out of trouble. It keeps me up at night thinking about the possibility of losing you.
I truly hope they find the family of the young one that lost his life. I could never imagine losing one of the children. I would die on the spot in shock.
I am sending the love of the children. They miss you so much and continue to ask when you will be home again. Alas I ask this question too: When will we see you again?
Please stay safe and come home in one piece.
Your wife forever
My dearest Benny,
It has been several weeks since your last letter. Each night, I look at your picture in hopes of boosting my faith. Without hearing your words, I am lost. As the days go by, I am losing hope and I just pray for a sign that you are safe.
The kids have been helping out on the farm as much as they can, but little Jonny is struggling to pull his weight. I don’t know how long we can make it without another hand. Jen has moved out to the fields to help her brothers and I have taken over the work in the kitchen, as well as the full housework.
Without my hope, I don’t know what to do with myself or my life. I don’t know if I can handle this anymore. My life is falling apart and I don’t know how long I can go on with this knot in my stomach that comes from not knowing where you are and if you’re alive.
I pray to God each night for your security and your return.
I hope to hear from you soon. Stay safe,
Francine
Dear F,
We have been captured but I write to let you know that I am unharmed. I’m not exactly sure where we are, but they are holding us in a German Prisoner of War Camp.
I send my love to you and the children
B
My Darling Francine,
I can’t write much case this letter is intercepted. I want you to know that I am alive. I will write at my next opportunity. All letters are being opened and read before they are released, in fear of prisoners giving away location of the camps. Write soon,
Benny
My Love,
I’m sorry my last letter was so short; we were being transferred and I just barely got my letter out on scratch paper. A prisoner has snuck in some paper and a pencil and that is how I am able to write this.
I’m sorry you have not heard from me in weeks. Just a few days ago we were captured during our patrols. Five men were able to get away but 4 of us were captured. We have spent the last few day traveling to the camps on foot.
Our trenches are dirty, and many men have fallen ill. We are losing many men and as I sit here writing this, I feel grateful to be alive. I have unavailable contracted trench foot and struggle to walk.
In the camp we are pushed up against one another with nothing but a small tarp as a blanket and a bed. We are served three plates of inedible food every day and are given one hour to walk around the yard. At a time like this I feel lucky to have been sent to officer’s camp. While conditions are almost unlivable here, I hate to imagine what they are like for my troops. Interrogation of the new prisoners is starting soon; I feel confident I have nothing to hide but I can’t say the same for those around me. As we traveled here, I saw a couple of men dropping traces, that I can only guess they hope will lead other men to us. A few men have received parcels and I saw at least one that contained little bits of food. If this is discovered the men could be beaten or killed.
Please my love I know it has been really hard on you, but keep fighting for us, as I am doing everyday both from the outside and from within. Once this is all over, we can move somewhere and start anew. The children can go back to their childhood and we can go back to our normal lives. I think of you every day and how much I miss your sparkling eyes and your gleaming black hair. I fight for our relationship just as I fight for justice.
I miss the children with all my heart. I hope they are doing all they can to help you around the farm. Give them each a kiss for me.
With all my love,
Benny
My dear Benny,
It is with great sadness I write that my mother has passed away peacefully. The children and I spent her last few moments standing by her side. The children are devastated, especially little Jonny. Since he can’t do much work around the house, he spent a lot of time with Grandma and grew very close to her. I can’t bear to write anymore tonight. I hope you are safe wherever you are.
With all my love
Francine
My sweetheart,
I’m sorry my letters have been scarce. I continue to sit and wait at the camp.
I am deeply saddened to hear about your mother. I’m sorry I can’t be there with you my love. I loved her dearly. I know you and the children can stay strong as you have done for a while now and I know that is what your mother would have wanted as well. Please believe me when I say your mother was very proud of you and what you have accomplished. She told me last time we met.
Things are manageable here at camp. We have all survived interrogation and things are getting a little better. They have begun to give us more edible food. We also received some blankets from some neighboring towns. It is getting quiet cold without them and winter is definitely on the way
Last time I was at the base, I arranged to have some money sent to you and the children and I hope you have received it.
I will write soon my love
Benny
My love,
I am overjoyed to hear that you are doing better, and conditions are continuing to improve. People over here have been collecting donations to send overseas as well. Unfortunately, all we could give was a blanket from Jonny’s bed, as he now sleeps with me every night.
I’m sorry my last letter was so short; I didn’t have the strength to do much once my mother passed away. The children have been a real support to me, and we are doing better every day.
We are running low on money and are no longer able to stay on the farm. We have been forced to move in with your parents, who have been very supportive and taken us in for the time being.
The children every day when you are coming home, and I tell them that when you return you will have many adventures to share with them. I can’t wait to receive your next letter but in the meantime the children asked me to write this for them
“Dear Papa, mama says you are out on many adventures fighting the baddies! We hope you win and come home soon. We can’t wait to hear all about your stories and adventures about how you beat the baddies over and over again.
Love Charlie, Jen, Jonny.
Flo has just started kicking and I wish you were here to feel it. I think she knows that you are off fighting the enemy and wants to help.
Your loyal wife
Francine
My love,
It was so wonderful to receive your last letter. Not much to report here. New people are coming in every day, but they are not letting anyone out. It has become very crowded. You and the children should not have to worry about the funeral arraignments, as they are all settled.
Dear children,
I hope you are being strong for your mama and really helping out wherever you can. She needs your support as you need hers. Papa is trying to come home to you as soon as possible but has to finish fighting the baddies
With all my love
Papa
My love,
I miss you terribly and I am continuing to pray for your safe return. We had the funeral earlier this week. The ceremony was thoughtful and definitely honored Grandma as she should have been. I have included the wording of her obituary as I thought you might like to read it.
“Leslie Kneel passed away on April 13th, 1916 at the age of 97. Leslie was born in Saint Louis, Missouri on March 3rd, 1819 to parents Louise and Christopher Kneel. She was an active member of society and always fought for people's best interests. Leslie grew up to become a loving wife and grandmother to her 3, soon to be 4 grandchildren.
I hope I can run into your open arms and see you soon
With a full heart your loving wife
Francine
My dearest Francine,
I write this with the knowledge that I will never be able to send it out and I must destroy it, but it puts me at piece to know that I have at least managed to put my thoughts down on paper for you.
I can’t tell you too much and by the time you read this we will hopefully be back with the troop, but I wanted to tell you that we are planning an escape. There is a supply car coming in, two day from now. A few of us are planning to try and sneak into the back or under the support beams on the bottom. I’m not sure how it will quite work but if I don’t make it back, I want you to know that I love you and the children with all my heart! I hope to write soon. Please keep me and the others in your prayers.
Yours truly
B
My Darling Benny,
You have never left my prayers since the moment you stepped foot out of this house. It may take longer than we anticipated to see each other again but I know one day you will be home safe and sound.
Not much to report here. We are still staying with you parents, but I feel really bad about it, especially with the holidays coming. The thought of leaving the children here with them and traveling out to find a better job has come to mind a couple times, but I couldn’t stand leaving them without either of us or messing with their lives, especially with a new child on the way.
Jenny has been really sad lately. I think she can tell what is going and knows why we are staying with your parents. I try my best to be strong around the children, but it is getting harder and harder without you by my side. Please stay safe. We would rather you come home later alive, than sooner dead. I will be watching for your next letter.
Your loyal wife, Francine
F,
We just made it back to base. We got into the back of the supply cart. There were crates to hide behind once we were on. Unfortunately, we had to ride in the back for a week before it was safe for us to move off. We spent the next two weeks finding our way back to base without getting caught by enemy soldiers.
We made our way through a few different villages. The people were really very kind, but the villages were barely standing and completely war-torn. Knocked down, set on fire, destroyed by soldiers. I hope they get the supplies they need to rebuild. I know I’m not supposed to want to help them, but I can’t help being drawn to them. All the innocent families being ripped apart and everything they have ever known being destroyed.
When we made it to the French villages, we were given food and water for the first time in days and were able to sleep comfortably for a night or two before we had to move on.
Many of the little ones are dying due to the lack of supplies and clean water. It is heartbreaking to see. All of the men have gone to war, so the women are doing everything for their families and for the soldiers coming in and out. They are running on no rest and it makes us all feel sadness.
I am very sorry to hear about Jenny. Maybe try and get her out to do something fun. Send her out with my mother, just them two. If she won’t talk to you about how she is feeling maybe she will talk to grandmama. Seeing how these villages are makes me appreciate how much you have done for the children and for our family and I am eternally grateful.
I will write again soon, but for now I must speak with my commander. I am going to try and convince him to give me and the other men who were captured a few days leave for the holidays but I’m not sure commander Brent will allow it. All my love to you and the children.
Benny
My dear Benny
With Christmas soon approaching, we will be staying at your parents’ house for the holidays. I might not be able to give the children all the gifts they want, but I can give them the family support they deserve.
I miss you every day and I know the children miss you every day. I will be sending Jenny out with your mother on her next few errands, but I need her to help around the house. We are struggling for money and to get food on the table for our kids. I can’t keep burdening your parents with our struggles.
Charlie and Jonny have started working at the nearby mines after school. They come home late everyday covered in soot and I feel…. I feel like I can’t do anything as a mother and I feel like I have failed them, I have failed you. I was supposed to support the family while you supported the country and I couldn’t do it.
Please write soon, I need to know that you are well, and I need to know that you will come home to us safe and sound.
Your one and only
Francine
Merry Christmas my darling Francine,
I hope you guys are having a good holiday, although they might be long over by the time this letter reaches you. Did my mother make her famous chocolate cookies for the children? Did my papa sing carols with you and the children?
Christmas is somewhat sad here in the trenches. We have some mistletoe hung around and a couple garlands but that’s it. As a Christmas gift, the general has given us each a Christmas bonus. I have elected to have that money sent to you. I hope it is helpful. Please don’t hold yourself-accountable for this, none of us could have predicted this was going to happen. We might not have a lot of money or all the food we can dream about, but we have the most important thing honey. We have each other, we have family.
I hope to be with you soon my love! Merry Christmas and happy new year, darling
Your loving husband
Benny
Dear Papa,
Where are you going on your next adventure? Are you fighting pirates and taking down dragons? We miss you! We are being strong for mother, but she misses you very much. We all do. Please come home soon, father.
We took mama and grandad and grandma out to our special spot. We think mother really enjoyed it, because we think it reminded her of you. It’s where we go and pretend to fight the villains just like you.
Come home soon papa
Your loving daughter
Jenny
Hello Jenny,
I hope you are behaving and helping your mama out. I can’t wait to tell you all my stories. We are fighting the enemies and making them walk the plank just like pirates did. Just the other night we rescued an innocent person from the big, bad, fiery dragon, with my sharp metal sword.
I will tell you more when I return home. Keep fighting hard, and papa will see you soon.
Love Papa
My Love,
I was very happy to have received Jenny’s letter. Each time I read it, it gives me hope and helps me remember why I am fighting, both for my country but also for my family.
I wanted to write to share my excitement for the upcoming birth of our child Flo. I’m sorry I can’t be there to be the first to hold our child, like I did for our last three children. Please have the children send me any and all updates about the birth. I know we are running low on money but use what we have left to get the best medical care for you and our new baby.
Please stay with my parents for as long as you need to get back on your feet. I love you and I miss you every day. I have one picture of you up beside my bunk and every day I see it, it gives me hope. Hope that this war will be over soon, hope that I will see you soon and hope that we will be together forever.
All my love
B
My Love,
At exactly 4am last Wednesday, our baby girl was born. I gave birth to her in your bedroom at your parents’ house. She was born 7.5 pound, some blond hair on her head and blue eyes just like her fathers. She has your eyes and my ears. Every time I look at her, it reminds me of you. It gives me hope that we will be together again soon. Waking up to her every morning brings a light each and every day. I can’t wait till you get to meet your baby girl. She and I are doing well for the most part. I am running a small temperature, but the doctor says that I will recover if I stay on bed rest for the next few days. Due to being on bedrest I have needed extra help around the house and to make some money. As much as I hated to do it, I had to pull the children out of school. I just can’t do it on my own anymore. Both Charlie and Jonny are working full time at the mine from sunup to sundown, returning home at the end of the day covered in soot and coughing. Jenny is doing most of the housework and cooking and taking care of little Flo, while I am unavailable, but I can see it, it is bringing her down; it's hurting her, and I hate myself for having to do it. We will be staying with your parents for a little bit longer, but as soon as I am well enough to go, the kids and I will be moving to a nearby shelter. I can’t burden your parents with my problems anymore. We will have to figure out how to do this on our own, but I don’t know how much longer I can handle it without you. Please come home, my darling. The children need you and I need you!
Love Francine
Honey,
I can’t begin to tell you how happy and excited I am about our new baby girl. I was just given news that I will be given leave in 4 weeks. I can’t wait to be home with you and our family. I miss you every day and maybe I can help while I am home. I don’t like it, but I understand why you had to take the children out of school. I can’t even imagine how hard it must be for you and I really wish I could be there to support you.
Over the last couple weeks, we were planning and executing an invasion on our enemies. We were hoping to make this mission quick and successful, with as few casualties as possible.
Our mission was successful for the most part. There were a few civilian deaths, not only us, but also the French soldiers of our enemy made sure their families knew they died with honor, seeking liberty for their country. I witnessed a funeral for one of the civilians and it is moving and touching to see how a village stands behind even the smallest of their community’s people.
Counting down the days till I can see and hug and kiss you and never leave your side.
Your true love.
Benny
B,
Not much to report here. children and I are now settled at a nearby shelter. I am working in the fields during the day and as a tailor’s assistant at night. I have to find another place for the boy to work. Their health is falling and every night they come back exhausted and have to look after their baby sister while I am at work. The shelter doctor saw the boys and said they would be all right if they got out of the mines, but I don’t know a way. I barely ever see them anymore and it's heartbreaking.
Jenny is holding up, but I know she misses her old life and her friends and her freedom. She has to take care of a child 24 hours a day. My biggest fear is that someone will find out what is going on and take the children from me. I couldn’t bear to lose them, especially when I don’t have you. It sometimes feels like these letters are all I have in my life anymore and all I can rely on.
How are you doing? Are you being attacked? Are you getting a rest? How is your health?
I hold my breath awaiting your next letter, praying that you are safe and out of harm’s way. Your loving wife
F
My Love,
I am safe at the moment. We have had a few close calls. I am trying my best to write as much as possible, as I can’t even begin to imagine how hard this has all been for you. I promise that when I return home, we will figure it out together. We will work out a way to earn better money and get our children back in school and healthy again. I miss you all terribly and just wish I could be with you.
Did you receive my Christmas bonus from the general? It should be enough to get you through the days until my leave. I hope it is enough to get the boys out of the mines and back with their sisters.
I know you are against it, but please reconsider staying with my parents or reaching out to your father. I know you haven’t been in contact with him for some years, but they will always be your father and I think he would want to help you know matter what.
I love you my dear, I will write as soon as I can. Never give up, because once one gives up, all will give up and that is when a family loses the one thing that will always be there: the love that a family has between them.
Benny
Benny,
It pains me to write this, but our baby girl is gone. At 7:22 this morning she passed away. Over the past few days, Flo caught the flu. Although she fought to get through it, her system was too weak. I used the money from your bonus to get our baby girl the best doctor I could find. Jenny sat with her each and every day, but by the time the doctor got here, there was nothing to be done. He didn’t make it in time. Dr. Rind believes that she was weak due to her blood and immune system being invaded by bacteria that the boys brought home from the mines each night. Flo died surrounded by her brothers and sisters. I can’t muster the strength to write anymore, but I thought you should know. I have sent the children back to stay with your parents, so they are safe and out of the mines. I wrote them a letter but couldn’t face them after what happened to Flo. It was my fault. I didn’t look after my baby girl the way I should have. The way a mother should have, and I could not embarrass the family any more than I already have. I hate to admit it, but you are right. I have written a letter to my father and have made amends with him for what he did. Although I can never fully forgive him for running out on my mother and my sister and I, during out time of need, I know that I want my kids to know their grandfather and this is the first step. Will write again when I have a little more strength.
Francine
My Love,
Do not blame yourself. As much as it hurts to know that our baby girl passed away a few months after birth, it was no one’s fault. We cannot burden anyone with the blame. Over the next while we will all be grieving our baby girl, but life must move forward. You cannot let this affect the rest of our children. Show them your strength and the courage you are using to get through this hard time. Show them that no matter what happens we will always be a family. Even though I can’t physically be there with you right now, I am with you in spirit and so is our baby girl. You did what you could and fought to give our children the best life you could during this hard time. Just remember that there will always be people around to support you. I know you are against it, but I have written a letter to your father. He wants to help you and the children. He has been trying to get in contact with you since you left. I know that after he you can never forgive, but you can move forward and do what is best for me, you and our children.
Just think about it my sweet Francine, it could be our way out.
Your protector
B
P.S. This is not the right time and letter to tell you, but you have to know. I will not be coming back on leave when I thought I was. I simply can not be spared at this time and all leaves were canceled. Please don’t be angry. Let me know how it goes with your father.
Dear Francine,
This is Commander Phillip Brent,
General Logan has shared a little bit about your situation. I want to express my sincere condolences for little Flo. You don’t deserve that, but know the memories you and your family made with her over the last months will last forever.
I also thought it unfair to you not to tell you what is going on with General Logan. Over the last couple months, he has had multiple weeks of leave. I believed he was going home to you and your family, but I found this picture amongst his possessions and thought it unfair to you not send it your way. I am very sorry for everything that has happened. If I can do anything for you, please do not hesitate to reach out.
Sincerely Commander Brent
Dear Benny,
Your commander wrote to me and shared that you have been having an affair with another girl. I don’t want to know who she is, and I don’t want to hear your explanation. Over the past months you led me to believe that you were doing everything you could to fight for your country and then come home back to your family. This is not true. I know you have sacrificed a lot as a soldier, but I have sacrificed just as much, trying to raise three kids with no money and no physical support from you. While I did receive your Christmas money, almost all of it when to medical care for our daughter. Along with this I thought you were using the rest of the money you earned to support yourself overseas, but it turns out you were using it to meet with another woman. I am writing this letter to tell you that the children will be moving to my father’s where he will continue to raise and support them. You will not have contact with them and if you do try and connect with them, I will never forgive you.
Everything you said in your letters was a lie. You made me believe that no matter how hard things got, we would always be a family. We would always have each other. But now I know that is not true. For a while I have been struggling to figure out what my purpose is and now that the one person I thought I could lean on for support has left me, I can’t do it anymore. Have a good life and I hope you are happy. Goodbye
Sincerely, Francine.
And so, as Benny returned home from war, he found that what he put down was no longer in the same place when he wanted to pick it back up again. He returned to an empty place that was once a home, but no longer a home. Walking in, he found the end of a life that he had failed to cherish, as he lifted off the blanket that covered the now-cold body of Francine. The one who swore to love him till death do them part, but also the one from which he broke his vow. Next to her laid the last letter that would haunt him, the rest of his days:
My Dear Benny,
I write this so you know I didn’t spend the rest of my days hating you. I want you to know that no matter how hard things got. I was able to push through it. But when you broke the promise you made on our wedding day, I could no longer carry on. Go be with the one you love, but remember this: if you really love someone, let them go. This is what I have done with you.
Goodbye my love
Yours forever
Francine
The End
