Love may control our lives with great strength. But, love is always driven by small things. Sometimes we have control over those things and sometimes we don`t, that`s what makes love so unpredictable and complicated. For me, love is something I can never put into words. I can give you examples of love everywhere. It`s in God`s blessing, in mother`s food, father`s advice; friends laughter and in a lover`s touch. Love is everywhere. But I still can`t explain it.
Can I?
Well, this little story is not about love. But the end and the beginning of love. Love can be quite stupid sometimes and so simple. It`s really funny that people love to cry over love. The cliched line would go something like "something got in my eyes" when people are welling up. And everyone knows what that means. In this story, that line made the difference that no one could have imagined. I still find it a bit mysterious. What if God had a hand in all this. What if it`s a sign from God. What if everything happens for a reason. I start to believe that when I heard the story from Abhi. It has been two years since Abhi and Megha got married. The story was about how they become a lot closer after a ridiculous encounter. When Abhi told me after two drinks at a party it went like this:
(Abhi Telling the Story)
"I had been mad about Megha, the day I set eyes on her. I met her during my college orientation. But, I always felt stupid talking to Megha. No matter what we are talking about. I always felt Megha knew about everything and everyone. It was not a great feeling. But, the way she used to talk was amazing. Her eyes shining with confidence when she started to talk about her favourite history lecture. She is smart and beautiful. Sometimes I don`t believe my own luck. How could I be so lucky that she said yes to become my girlfriend and then my wife?
On the orientation of the college, we sat together. She wore a red t-shirt and blue jeans. She looked so beautiful. Being from a small town. I was a bit sceptical about talking to a city girl. Like everyone my mother too had warned me about city girls. Yes, that`s right I am a mama`s boy
Apparently, all the Indian boys are. Well, that`s not the point. We were sitting together. I was so nervous sitting with that hot girl. I was even afraid to look directly at her. She noticed my nervousness and said hello with a beautiful smile.
Her sweet voice just strung guitars in my ears. The feeling of being in love is a wonderful thing. Being a city girl she was very bold confident and broad-minded. I was stunned by her boldness. And still, there are days. when she completely surprises me.
We were in the same trade and in same classes of the course. Which made it really convenient to be with her. We were always together. When we were on campus. Attraction turned to liking and liking became love. I was the impatient one in both of us. I purposed her during the start of the second semester. It was really awkward and confusing. I was not sure if she had said yes or not. Because she was standing there laughing at me. I had chosen the library as the spot to propose her.
I was sitting in the library. I took her hand while she was busy reading a physics book. She shot me a stink eye with her big brown eyes and made a face which was so adorable. But didn't slap my hand or try to make let go. I try to whisper my feeling.
When a faculty member came and sat near us. I kept whispering my confession. But she did not hear me Or, was trying to ignore it.
When I tried to say something louder, the librarian looked at me as if he was going to eat me up. The faculty member already heard my confession three times. He patted my back and told me. Take the girl outside and then confess. But, when faculty member said it. Everyone heard. We were both embarrassed and it was really awkward. We came out then into the canteen. I was still holding her hand. When she started to laugh. And wouldn`t stop no matter what. How much I pleaded with my puppy face.
She kept saying "what were you thinking dumb-ass".
I was saying the same thing to me in my mind. But after few more tries. She finally said yes. And it was really lovely being with her. Looking at her made those hard and boring days quite easy. Megha helped me through all the hard times.
After six semesters together we started to drift apart. And, the reason was as silly as it could be. I thought she doubted everything I did no matter what and she thought I didn`t give her enough attention. You know how that works. You won`t answer one phone call one message. The relationship is over and done for. It was ridiculous and people haven`t changed much since then have they? But it was a critical issue at that age for us. We finally decided to break up.
I had left the college dorm and was living in the city now. So, we met on CCD in the city. We returned our gifts and things. It was so painful no matter what I loved her and she loved me. We just wanted to get it over with and go home. Coffee tasted bad too. When I was paying for the coffee. They told me card payment can`t be done. Because the machine was busted. I didn't let her pay. My ego was too big. And, she didn't insist because she knew me well and didn't want to have a fight. when we were actually parting ways. It was painful as it was.
I ran to the ATM nearby. One thing I didn't notice was that I had dropped my shades on the way. I came back and paid for the coffee. We both came out.
I had my friend`s bike with me, so when I saw her standing alone waiting for an autorickshaw, I thought I should at least give her a lift to her home one last time. So I asked her if she wanted a lift.
She smiled and hopped on the back seat. I was driving the bike with no helmet on. It was windy that day and dust was in the air. It was getting hard to drive without my shades. I was squinting my eyes. And after some time, my eyes started tearing up because of the dust. We stopped at a signal. When the man on the adjacent bike moved, he pushed the side mirror of our bike with his elbow. She could see my face through side mirror now.
When she saw my teary eyes, she thought that I was crying because we were breaking up. She knew me. I was not that kind of a guy. It was only partly true though. She meant a lot to me so I was planning to cry after I got home. Yeah, I m the kind who doesn`t like to show his emotional side to other people.
After, we crossed the signal. She hugged me from behind. I thought that she regretted her decision. But didn't say anything. After, a while when I felt wetness on my shoulder, I realized she was crying. I didn't want to break up with her at the first place. She was one true beauty only a fool will let her go.
When we reached her house. She wouldn`t come down the bike. She stayed there hugging me from behind even though we were in front of her house.
She is one bold lady I tell ya.
But I was happy. Then she said: "Why were you crying?" I said, "Something got into my eyes". I didn't have my shades on. she just assumed I was lying. Apparently, everyone says that and for her it was such a cliche so it was obvious what she was thinking. but not for me, something did get into my eye. I didn't insist on it. Then, after an awkward silence, she said:
"If, you love me that much. That going away makes you cry. Then I will stay by you forever and ever."
So that was my first and last break up of my life. And she kept her promise. She stays by my side all this time. And every day I thank my stars for that.
It could have been a different story. If the CCD card machine had been working or if I hadn't lost my shades or the man at the signal hadn't elbowed my side mirror. God does works in strange ways. And my love changed completely with some wind and dust in my eyes.
I never told her that. But, I do like to tell the stories. Believe me, I was just lucky."