Many human don't understand what it means to be joyless. Some what they call joyless is nothing compare to the real definition of joyless. Reality is very cruel and life is very rude. life let you enjoy your joy and takes it away in the most unimaginable way. It is taken in a way you will never expect and the most painful ones is when your own mistake cause it. Then you will be filled with regret and your joyless situation doesn't help you over come and look pass the mistake you have made.
I have no advice for any of you because I have not yet overcome my own trial but I still have hope which is better than depression. But the morning seems pointless now for I don't find joy in looking at it every morning. My wish is to go and change my mistake but I also don't want to change it because of the lesson I have learned from it is important.
I must try to heal, it will take time which i have plenty of, I hope so. I must heal for if not anything but for my mother who's joy is gone from seeing me in my joyless condition. I used to bring joy to her through my joy but now I can't even smile for it is too fake. I don't know what to expect from you all but I just want to share my feelings to someone who is listening.
A reply is not needed for by the time this get out I have already move on, I hope.
'feeling from miss P who lost something preciouses to her due to her mistake'