Truly, it wasn't them, it wasn't some impulsive decision they didn't ask for 'them' to touch. Maybe its their fault, it was their own body that reacted in a pleasurable way. But it wasn't their own fault that 'them' did what they did more than their own mind could count, they hated what happened.
What 'them' did, was they ruined their mind making them think they loved her, but no it wasn't love it was being taken advantage of manipulation perhaps 'them' thought it was an good idea even though the gap of years were there, maybe they touched them thinking it was a good idea as she was enjoying themselves, but that wasn't okay it was never okay what 'them' did.
Even though she told one part of the family tree what happened she wouldn't dare tell mother nature what happened because 'them' family the ones who raised 'them' was very close to mother nature therefore 'their' told only half truth of what it was and mother nature was happy after that 'their' haven't seen seen 'them' for an almost a month till she moved back home into an new home not far from 'them' home, 'them' came by one time.
She said 'I forgive you "()!@#' but it didn't help her in any way of what he did to her mind that he may have had no idea what he did. But even though she has forgiven him, what he did still haunts her mind. Making herself feel disgusted and mad at herself till she realized it was her body but? In the past she didn't stop it, she thought it was okay of what he was doing because she 'loved' him. Love isn't meant to be one sided secret even, god she should've known better if she did then maybe just maybe she would've been better off maybe if that man was actually one he would take responsibility for all her trauma he caused.
But no he doesn't get that responsibility because it's hers not his.
But it wasn't her fault she was young. She was 15 going onto 16 and that man was around 21.. That doesn't justify what happened because she thinks it is her own damn fault and not his. She lied for him. She told her own mother that he only touched her chest once, not many times under her shirt under the bra, that ruined her self esteem. Her worth. Her mentality to live on of what he did. She could lie. She could do anything to stay with him because she thought she was 'in love' but no it was a goddamn lie that's all it was ever was? she never saw him in a long while after she found someone her age who stays and is shy and not someone who makes her feel like she's not just some candy body that could mess with whenever they want. Still though? her mind goes on when she feels scared and sad and pathetic every single day. She could get help.
She tried but didn't try hard enough because she didn't want too. She already lied. She already did what she did so he can not get in any trouble. Everyday she thinks every single moment when she's not distracted or alone she thinks of what he did and feels disgusted every time? Though later on there was text she asked why he did it, he tried to ask her why she text now, she asked why he did what he did his words were the line of 'I'm sorry, that he should've have not ever let it get to that point.' that It wasn't her fault.
It never was but with his words it didn't help. it made her feel like after everything he was still there.......waiting to be an different person.
