Meet Preston Whitmore Van der Camp III, a man who literally fired his first nanny for "insufficient enthusiasm" at age three and never looked back. From stealing a toy fire truck via corporate acquisition to buying the entire SAT proctoring industry, Preston has committed every crime imaginable—just never the violent kind. Why steal when you can acquire? Why cheat when you can own the testing company? Why write your own thesis when you can hire seventeen PhDs? Follow Preston from toddler tyrant to monopolistic lemonade baron to disgraced billionaire as he learns the hard way that some things can't be purchased: gravity, mortality, and the patience of a Estonian journalism collective operating out of a garage. Featuring an army of complicit lawyers, a fifth-grade enforcer named Felicia, and a reckoning decades in the making, this absurdist comedy asks the question: what happens when you're so rich, you forget other people are real?
