I look through the glass that separates us. She’s crawling towards me, her arm stretched forward, calling for my help. Drowning under black shadows. Huge and small. Floating above her and lurking in shadows and corners far away. Black smokey figures, some resemble wings, others resemble fangs, or tails. Some in the shape of people or devils.
"Please, I need your help," she wails.
"Don't worry, I'm here for you," I raise my arm and channel my power to my palms. A shimmering ball of light erupts from my hand. I aim forward, at the scariest and ugliest shadow, the biggest one that's smothering her, and I will my light to travel in a wide ray. The shadow slithers and backs off when the light rays hit it. I aim my light towards the other shadows surrounding her. They retreat. She gets up slowly and looks at me, a wan smile on her withered face.
"Thank you," she says. "What would I do without you?"
"No need to thank me. I'm always here for you,"
"I'm so weak and pathetic," her eyes dart to her dirty clothes and weak body.
"No, you're not. You're as strong as I am. You have light in you too. You have to believe,"
"I tried. It never works," she shakes her. "And when it did, it was so weak and didn't last as long. The shadows laughed at me and my weak pathetic light."
"It's not because you're weak. It's because you're afraid of what you'll see when you shine your light. You got used to the darkness for too long. But it's ok. Even if you see a scary looking demon or shadow, it can't hurt you. It will vanish when you shine your light. Shadows and demons need the darkness. They can't exist in the light. You just need to trust and believe in your light,"
"But even your strong light doesn't vanish them. It just weakens them." She looks behind her, "They'll be here again. Soon. They always do," her lips tremble.
"That's because it's light from my world," I say, resting my hand on the glass separating us. "We can't cross worlds. I can't come to your world. You can't come to mine. We're lucky my light can pass through, but it is never going to vanish them. I wish I could go through to your world and fight your demons for you," my eyes sting, but I blink the tears away.
"Go. I don't want to hold you back any longer. Take care of your world. I don't know why I burden you with my problems," she looks away.
"You're not a burden. I have to go. But whenever you need me, call. I'll always be here for you. Never forget that."
I turn away from the glass and gaze at my world. My sunny garden is waiting for me. As I walk towards my garden, I remember how not so long ago, this beautiful sunny garden was buried under shadows. Just like my sister’s garden is buried under all the shadows. I lived in the shadows with my demons for so long thinking my world was nothing but ruins. Until I decided to believe in my light and my garden. I decided to fight. I believed and kept believing. At first my light was weak; it could only push the darkness away for a limited time. But I kept my faith. My faith in the light and the garden and the sun. When my faith became strong enough, my light amplified. It became strong enough to vanish the demons. It drains my energy and I have to rest. But in time, all the demons vanished, slowly. I began to see sunshine and patches of grass. Overvtime, the sunshine and the greenery became more than the darkness. Now, I gaze at my world, sunshine as far as the horizon. Green grass stretches as far as the eye can see. There are trees and flowers. Occasionally, a demon might show up or a patch of darkness, but I vanish it with my strong light. I take very good care of my garden. Especially the flowers. If I don't remember to water them, they would die. I get tired. I need to rest. My light weakens and even the sunshine weakens.
I walk to a far corner, where the grass is yellow and the flowers are dead. It’s bigger than it was a few days ago.
It's spreading.
It's because I'm weakened by fighting her demons and shining my light in her world. It's taking a toll on me. The problem is, even when I'm so far away from her, when I look in the direction of her world, I see the patch of darkness through the glass, and I feel her pain. It pains me to see her suffer like that. I'm trying my best. I did everything I could.
I kneel in the dead patch of my world. My eyes fill with tears as I stroke a dead withered flower.
I need to rest.
But I can't rest when I keep seeing her darkness and hearing her cries. I bury my face in my palms.
I'm so tired.
I lay down. Sleep claims me quickly.
I'm startled from my deep sleep by a loud cry.
It's her.
"Help me. Please," her voice breaks between her sobs.
I look at the dead patch. It's not healed yet. I didn't get enough to rest. I'm still so tired. I don't think I can call my light again. I could try. But what good would it do? I can't go through the glass and fight her battles for her. All I can do is stand on this side and tell her over and over to believe. To have faith.
Will it ever end? Do I have to be her hero forever?I'm not a superhero. I have limited energy and if I don't rest, my world would wither and die. I wouldn't be able to help myself or anyone else.
"Pleeeeeease,"
The sight of the dead flowers fills my heart with rage. I get up and walk towards her world, my lips pressed, my jaw clenched. She is crawling again, buried under her demons. I kneel in front of the glass, take a deep breath and say, "I didn't rest. I can't use my light yet."
She looks at me with pleading eyes.
"Believe in your light. Believe in yourself. You are not weak."
"I'm so weak. I can't,"
"Believe. I'll go rest now," I get up and turn around.
"Come back, Stay with me,"
"I'm so exhausted. I must rest," I say as I walk away.
"You should go. Please rest. I'm sorry. I shouldn't call for your help like that. I'm such a pain and a fool. I don't know why you care about me."
"You are not a fool or a pain," I grit my teeth. "Just breathe and call your light,"
"It's ok. Don't worry about me. Just rest. I don't want to be a burden,"
Her voice fades as I step into my garden. I lie down and close my eyes. I know what I need to do when I wake up.
I feel better after a very long sleep. I call a little light and my palm shines. I stand up and study my garden.
I must protect this place.
Facing the direction of her world, I stretch my arms by my side, I channel my energy to my hands, and start to raise them. Slowly, a brick wall begins to rise from underneath the grass. As I raise my arms, straining, the wall rises higher. I raise my arms as high as I can. My wall rises higher and higher, until I can't see her darkness anymore. I let my arms drop. I'm panting. I'm exhausted. Sleep takes over me.
When I get up, my energy has slightly replenished. I walk over to the wall and press my palm against it. I close my eyes and channel my energy. This part of the wall transforms into a gate. I smile. I go to sleep in the dead yellow patch.
I'll take care of you. I'm sorry for letting you die.
For days, I sleep and rest and care for my garden. The sun shines brighter. The dead patch is receding. It's all thanks to the wall. Even when I look in that direction, I don't see the darkness. I can't hear any cries.
I stand in the green grass, where the dead patch used to be, my lips stretch into a smile. I walk over to the wall and open the gate. I walk to the glass. I see my sister surrounded by swirling shadows. She looks as weak and tired as always.
"Believe in your light," I say.
"I'm so weak," she shakes her head. "It's hopeless,"
"You know it's all dad's fault. I see one of his demons in there,"
"Really?" She looks around, clueless.
I shine my light and shoot that demon in the face. "It's the same one. I remember it very clearly."
"I'm not sure,"
"Because you're afraid to look closely. Most of these demons are from other worlds. If you look closely, you might be able to identify where each one came from. But you're so afraid. You know they can't really hurt you,"
"Yes, they can. Look at me,"
"That's not the demons' doing. They have no power over you if you don't believe in them."
I shine some light and push some of her demons away. "You have to believe in your light. There's a beautiful garden and sunshine under all that darkness,"
She scoffs. "No there isn't. There can't be," she says as she walks away.
I go back to my world and close the gate behind me. Will she ever believe?
I glance at my palms. How can I save someone who doesn’t want to save themselves?
I gaze at the beautiful horizon. My thoughts
It's all your fault.
I love you.
But it's all your fault.
Your world was ruined.
It was dark and your demons were invisible most of the time. You chose to pretend they didn't exist. We grew up believing that darkness and demons were normal. I couldn't see them except after I grew up. When I saw other worlds with sunshine and flowers. But you still denied they existed. You didn't realize how much your demons were hurting you and us. And when you saw my garden, as much as it delighted you, to see me thriving, you let your guilt eat you from the inside. You gave up and let your world wither and die. I watched your world as it withered away. Unable to help you.
Until one day, you were no longer there. It's just emptiness now. It's just so sad. I love you. But I watch my sister suffer because of you. Your demons destroying her world, just as they destroyed yours. You told us there was light but you never used it to help yourself.
It's so sad… And now you're gone.
You gave up. But I will never give up. Here in my garden, I'll live in peace. Safe behind my wall. I'll shine my light for those who need it. But only after I rest and tend to my world. Because I'm not a superhero. I'm only human.
I pray your soul finds peace wherever you are now.
I love you. I always did. I always will.
And I forgive you, dad.
I realize now it’s not all your fault. We always have a choice. We are responsible for our worlds. When and if she decides she wants to save herself, she will find me by her side.
And I’m never taking down that wall.