My name is zinhle, I am 28 years of age let me tell you about this person named Siphosethu whom I thought was my friend and how she
turned on me and nearly ruined my life , join me as I take you through this journey of my life.
Our families lived closer to each other, in other
words we were neighbors and her home was opposite to mine. In zulu culture whenever your surname is the same as yours you consider that person your brother or your sister. My mother's grandmother which is my great grandmother had the same surname with her fathers grand mother so both my mother considered her father, her uncles and aunts her brothers and sisters. We grew up knowing that they are family. on her mother's side she was related to my father's surname and which made her mother to consider my father her brother. Growing up we considered our selves family because our parents supported each other in difficult times. She was 3years older than I am and she was close to my older sister they were friends. As time went by my sister grew up and started hanging out with people her age and got engaged and had to move from home that is when she an I became close and became best friends. We were inseparable we shared everything together at that time I was only 16 and doing grade 11 and she was she was 20 and both of us were dating. she already had a child that she got pregnant at the age of 18 when she was doing matric. I created special bond with her daughter. I remember she went to varsity when I was doing matric. I used to take care of her daughter when she was away. She knew all my secrets and I also knew all her secrets but the saddest things is that she never kept mine to her self. I got involved with a guy older than I am and unfortunately he infected me with a disease as my friend so I decided to disclose my status to her on whatsapp and she accepted me I was happy only to find out she took a screenshot of the message and she sent it to her other friend to gossip about me I got angry and unfriended her, our families found out they sat us down and talked to us and she apologised and I forgave her since it was sincere. That was the first reg flag I shouldn't have trusted her again but I did anyway our friendship continued. I supported her in everything I remember when she used to fall sick to the extent that she would get hospitalized I would accompany her and spent the whole night in hospital, that was because she was there for me when I lost my father at the age of 15 she used to cry with me and she helped me when I tried to commit suicide so that's why I was also there for her. I was there for her when she had a miscarriage and made sure that her parents donont find out about it because they would have been disappointed since her daughter was only 1year and a few months old and the baby daddy was different to the one that impregnated her before. So we grew together and I also finished school and studied at college. As I sit down today I remember the guy that I met when I was younger who happens to be my baby daddy right now the same guy that had infected me, my relationship with him lasted for 7 years and that guy never liked her at all he used to tell me that this friend of mine is not a good one, I used to think he was jealous because I used to spend more time with her than him. I remember when she met her ex husband I was with her all the way from the day they met to the day they got married and the day they had their son. I remember holding her hand when she was giving birth that time I was in college at that time studying, so I didn't attend my last class to be with her in hospital as a good friend. I celebrated all her achievements with her, and as for her when ever good things happen to me she pretended to be happy while she wasn't. When ever my boyfriend would cheat she would make sure to gossip about me and even tell me about it not because she felt bad but she was happy onthe inside that it was happening to me she was jealous because I was dating a guy who had a lot of money, who was driving a sport car who used to give me money, buy me clothes, do my hair and
buy me phones she would feel bad if I donont pay attention to the bad things she used to say about my man and never left him. She pretend be happy about my matric results but she wasn't because I passed with a distinction and had more points than her. She pretended to be my well wisher but she wasn't. As for me I celebrated her achievements without any jealousy, I was genuinely happy with everything good happening in her life, I never celebrated her downfalls when her marriage ended I was with her offering her support, she was shattered I was as well I would cry with her, her enemies became my enemies when she is being attacked I would help her fight because I loved her with all my heart, my day was never complete without her. Every morning I would wake and go to her home to find out if she is okay ,did she sleep well and we would make plans for the day. I found a job as a preschool teacher at a preschool near home and while working there since I was the youngest I was only 22 there was an old lady that bullied me to such an extent that I was no longer happy to wake up and go to work, I talked to her about it, and you'll be surprised what my jealous friend said, she advised me to quit the job. I was blind I worked for a few months and boom I took her stupid advice so I left my job and stayed at home just like her. After her marriage ended she got into a relationship she was afraid of what people would say and I told her that as her friend I'm with her and I support her because when ever she is happy I am happy too, and she was happy. Until one day it was on a Christmas day 5days after she had given birth to this guys child, the guy had went out with friends only to get shot and died on the scene , as the good friend I supported her in everything, I held her hand until the day of the funeral and after that I was a part of her healing process. A month after the incident a friend of us came from Durban to visit us and we were happy, so she introduced us to these male friends of hers so the guys took us out and we had fun. That when she met this guy interested in her, yes there was also a guy interested in me but it's wasn't serious for me, mind you I'm in a relationship with someone with a the same guy I met when I was still a teenager and right now I'm 23 she is 27, even that guy was a married man so nothing was gonna happen between us I'm not a home wrecker, I come from a good family so I would never break someone's as my mother's home was never broken till my dad's last breath. Things got serious with the guy, and she lied to the guy that she was, a virgin with no children and she is a pastors daughter to avoid getting intimate with the guy because in our culture when you lose a partner you need to get cleansed before you move on because you are considered someone with bad luck. As for the married guy he would call me to come along with her so that he won't feel bored whenever his friend is with her and I agreed. Again she became jealous of me I always attract guys that have money that drive fancy cars as for that one, he was filthy rich owning a car sales garage her man worked for him so it was a problem for her. So she started spending a lot of time with the guy and the other one was slowly pulling out he was nolonger asking me to come with her which was strange and I would ask her to ask her man what was happening with daddy cool that what I used to call him and she would say her man says daddy cool says things are hectic at home , I was okay with it not like we were dating the man has a wife for goodness sake and I have my partner my sugar. She would go out with the guy and she would come and tell me and she was happy and I was happy for her considering what she went through when she lost her baby daddy. At that time both her and I we were working together at her brother's funeral service office until, he had to shut down because of covid 19 and the country was on lockdown. We stayed at home and daddy cool was more distant than ever and she would tell me that her man told her that he isn't now able to go out anytime his wife get suspicious because he isn't working the garage is shut due to the lock down I understood and I didn't care. One day she came at home told me, my mom and my sister that the guy wants to come and pay lobola for her. Remember that older sister of mine the she was closer to inthe past that moved from home years later she came back after things didn't work out and met someone and now has a child, I'm not gonna dwell on what had happened to her because this is about me. She told both my mom and sister how she lied to the guy that she said she is a virgin and has no children so what is she supposed to do because it's getting serious now, we told her to tell him the truth and she was scared to do so because she was afraid to lose, him. What was she gonna do? The truth was gonna come out anyway what ever that is hidden always comes to light right? So she continued to play along delayed the plans for lobola the guy even took her to meet his mom and they celebrated her birthday together everything was beautiful and she would show me pictures and everything was beautiful and perfect, but there was this truth that can make this whole thing
tumble down, said isn't it? Trying to build a relationship on lies is never a good I dea right? One day she came to my house early inthe morning and asked me to borrow her my velvety heard scarf and unfortunately I couldn't find it she wanted to wear it to meet the guy uncle so she had to find another alternative because the only head scarf I had couldn't find it so the guy came to fetch her I was happy for her. One thing I used to notice is that these past few days she never asks me to accompany her to the guys car so that I can see him and greet him, and there was a time when she invited the guy to come inside my house when mom wasn't at home it was just me, my sister and our other friends chilling he was acting weird it was not this friendly guy that I had met but at that time but I never noticed I was blind. So she left and she never got the heard scarf and I stayed at home and later during the day while cooking it was 1pm my phone started ringing and picked up and asked who it was it was one of the guys
that is friends to the guy she is dating okay, what does he want?
Let's find out, and how does he know me? I'll tell you. When we met the guys it was 4 of them but I've been mentioning these two because we got close to them and they are best friends. Okay I'm asking my self where did he get my digits? and I got the answers on that call, when I asked him where he got my digits he reminded me that our friend the one from Durban used my phone to call him the day before they took us out for drinks, I was surprised he saved them because I remember properly 3months had passed since we met them and we only met once and I spent most of my time with his friend the married guy. So he asked to take me out inthe evening and I agreed, who wouldn't agree to be taken out by a handsome rich guy that drives a fancy car specially since things between me and that cheating partner of mine are not going well it been awhile since I last saw him. He promised to call me later so that I can send him my location to come pick me up since I lived in Howick and he lives in pietermaritzburg and he isn't familiar with it. I was excited about it who wouldn't be? It very rare in this township of mine to be fetched be fetched by a big fancy car it would uplift my standard. The girl packed her overnight bag, made sure she dresses well and smell good too, you wouldn't want to come dressed in rags and smell bad infront of someone of his calibre right? Later he came to fetch me and we went out, and on his way he explained why he saved my number and that he has eyes for me. It felt so good that I had attracted someone of his kind, and he treated me like a queen that night. We went to his friends and colleagues they were all with their partners and I was excited he decided to take me with him. So we decided to go and swim there was a pool where we were so it gave us some alone time and he told me things that gave me the shock of my life. The first question he asked was, Is your friend a virgin? and I said yes why do you ask he said I'm just asking. Is your friend trustworthy? My answer was yes. He said okay, he looked me inthe eyes and said zinhle I care about you and I only saw you once and
It was enough for me to see the type of person you're that's why I never believed what ever was said about you. I was shocked to hear all that. I begged him to tell me what was going on he should tell me. You know what he said " Ican't because I don't want to be the reason why your friendship ends". I said just tell me I'll decide and he said okay. He told me the reason why his married friend that had an interest in me distanced his self from me. I was shocked to find out that because of my best friend the one I considered to be my sister. He told the guy about my status, not only that she told him that I had done a lot of abortions since I've got no child and that I sleep around I'm a wh*re. I got shocked and I wish it wasn't true, unfortunately it was because she's the only one close to all these guys who knew my status. It was not only that she went to an extent that she accused me of witchcraft,she even said I was the cause of all the bad things her life because I'm bewitching her. She had a Sim card that she used to send threatening message to her self and say that they were sent by me and I I am friends with the guy's ex, so the guy has made promise to shoot me wherever he sees me. Another question he asked "do you know where your friend is ? I told him how she came to me inthe morning asking me to borrow her my headscarf because she was going to meet his friends uncle. He asked did you give it to her? I remember when he asked this question his face was already pale, you could see how worried and scared he was, me on the other hand I was just confused about all these questions and still shocked and trying to process everything that he is telling me about my friend someone I considered family someone I loved more than my own sister who is my blood. The moment when I said no, he was relieved and he even said "Thank God". I nearly fainted when he told me that there was no uncle, that she was going to be introduced to, and I was like what? "Do you mean to tell me that she lied to me? He said zinhle tell me who tells his enemy that they are going to avenge them selves for the injustice and harm that was caused? My answer was no one. So he told me that it similar to this case so since she has painted me as an enemy so she had to seek justice for her self. He told me that her and his friend went to a w*tch doctor two days before that day, which means on Thursday since it was Saturday that day, to asked for an advice on what to do with me since I'm bew*tching her and she's been having strange headaches and I'm responsible for that. So they wanted to give that w*tch doctor my heard scarf so that he/she can use it to make me mad. I felt light headed that very moment, I didn't know what to say I just froze I couldn't believe my ears I wished someone was gonna wake me up and tell me it's all a dream. So I started telling him about our friendship how she supported me when I lost my father, how she celebrated my achievements with me I told about the day I matriculated to the day I worked as a preschool teacher and how she advised me to quit my job became I was bullied. The guy told me about how she told his friend about me not having matric how I dated a guy 13years older than me that later infected me so how was I gonna pass? That's when I realised, that she was not genuinely happy for me onthe day I received my results and she even refused to give me that contact of that guy that helped her with her varsity application and admission. I didn't want to believe it, but how did this guy find out about my status and that I'm dating someone who is 13 years older than me ? So everything is true there's no doubt about that. I told him about how I've been nothing but a good friend to her and how I've been supporting her through thick and thin. I ended up spilling the beans when I was speaking because of hurt, I remember telling him how I supported her from the day she went to varsity, how I took care of her daughter, how I supported her when she miscarried, how I supported her when her marriage fell apart and how I supported her when she lost her baby daddy. There's only one thing that guy realised in this whole thing I was saying, it was the fact that she lied about her virginity and that she is no pastors daughter. One thing that made me angry about this whole thing she involved my mother inthis whole story of hers, How? I'll tell you. So he told her man that my mother is involved in bewitch*ng her, she is the one that gives me muthi to use on her. I was very angry how could she accuse my mother of such serious allegations, If had enough proof I would have had her arrested for tainting my mum's name even though no one close knew. She made sure that all these guys hate me, she painted a bad picture of me that I am an HIV+,un educated wh*re, who is also a witch. I nearly got killed by her man, I nearly went insane because of her. What type of person is she? Is this person really my friend? Did she even love and care for me the same way I did for her? Was she pretending to care all these years? All those were questions that I was asking my self and I couldn't find no answer. I realised that my boyfriend was right when he said, she wasn't good for me. I realised that this person is two-faced and twisted, this person is a serpent, a venomous one. She has all the characteristics of a serpent, the deceitfulness, sneakiness, the danger she nearly put me through, I nearly lost my life beacuse of her lies deceit and manipulation. She would portray me as a bad person to people while she acted holy and perfect. My night was ruined so I was no longer in a good space so I requested the guy to take me back home and he did he gave me money to buy something for my self just to cheer me up. When I got home it was late I went straight to bed my had was spinning I couldn't sleep I was tossing and turning the whole night. The next morning I told my mom and sister and they were disappointed not only did he paint bad picture about me, she even mentioned that my sister's man left her, and she doesn't know her child's father which was a blatant lie she was still dating her baby daddy and they were happy, which means she was jealous because she had broken up with all her baby daddies, the first one left her, her husband left as well as for the last one he passed away. My mother and sister were shattered and they even gave me an earful that if I continue being friends with her I should keep her away from them she should never set foot in our home ever again. That morning I couldn't concentrate on anything I was waiting for her so that I can confront her. I waited until I heard her calling my name and I went to her she was also ready to confront me because I somehow told her man's friend the truth about her and the guy dumped her. She was confronting me not knowing that I know about all the lies she fabricated about me. The moment she started talking and raising her voice at me I was boiling inside, I told her everything that I was told by her man's friend she didn't deny or opposed anything, which made it clear everything was true, I was shattered from that moment I decided that I never want to see nor speak to her ever again. She was in my life to ruin me, what kind friend would advice you to quit your job instead of giving alternative solutions to deal with the situation? What kind of friend is she disclosing her friend's status to everyone ? Was I that blind? How did I miss the signs? I've got no answers to these questions but what I can say is that I actually befriended a serpent beacuse of how manipulative and deceptive she was. Today I've got no friends I decided to make my mom and sister my best friends because I know they will never decieve me. The lesson of this story is: Choose your friends wisely. A wise man said show me your friends and I will show me you your future. There are people who are sheeps clothed in wolf skin becareful who you bring close to you and share your secrets to. I thank that guy's friend for saving me from that friendship because I nearly lost my life.
THE END
