“I have sacrificed everything on you including leave my old home to a total new place,” my mom sat on a chair before me, said in a firm voice, made me had no chance to doubt after we arrived at my stepdad’s house, “you must get money and status, no matter what the cost, that will make my sacrifice worthy.”
“Don’t put stress on her,” my stepdad dragged me behind his back, “she is still young, you can talk this topic to her when she gets older.”
Then I saw my mom left with disappointing and angrily.
“Are you OK, Sisi?” my stepdad turned his head to me, and I could saw his worried and caring. “Don’t listen to your mom’s. Just be yourself for now.”
“But mom did sacrifice so much on me. I must make her proud.” I murmured, “She is such a great mom.”
“Of course, she is a great mom.” My stepdad answered, “But she is the one to makes the decision, nobody asks her to do that. And you, have already tried your best. Your grades are good, you are talented, she should be satisfied by that. There are so many possibilities in our life, you don’t have to stuck in only one.”
Then my stepdad shook my hand and said: “Have fun with your roommate and your life at Harvard! I am proud of you!”
I have to admit that, from that moment on, I started to have a very good impression on my stepdad. Compared to my dominant and greedy mom, my stepdad was more generous, friendly, and kind. My biological dad had passed away couple years ago, and when he was alive, he was also that nice. However, at that time, I was still not ready to accept my stepdad.
“Hey, you must be my new roommate,” A girl ran toward me, and shook my hand heavily, “My name is Yuan, nice to meet you. What is your name?”
“I am Sisi.” I answered.
“Beautiful name.” Yuan smiled, “Here, let me help you move you stuffs into the room.” Then she carried my suitcases into the room.
Then Yuan and I became roommates, and best friends. Later that year, I met a boy called Yi, and soon we began to date.
“Are you sure you want to date him so early? You barely knew each other.” During facetime with my parents one day, I told them about Yi and me. My stepdad asked me in concerned.
“In American culture, a date does not mean anything.” I answered.
“Well, dating cultures are not working in Chinese culture! Please think twice, you date him, means you want to be his girlfriend!” My stepdad sighed.
“Don’t listen to your dad,” my mom finally started to talk, “I just did a research, Yi’s family status is perfect! His father is the governor of our province! Good job! Go and date him!”
“That’s insane.” My stepdad shook his head, then he said to me again, “Think twice about your decision, Sisi. But I will support you whatever the decision you make.” Then he hangs up the call.
“I am with your dad, he is right.” Yuan, who was sitting next to me and listened the whole conversation quietly, finally spoke, “If you really want to date him, I can come with you and check him out.”
“No, I won’t date him until I know more about him.”
I replied. The rebellion spirit against my mom suddenly started to rise from my mind. Thought of her dominant, and depressed. So, I told myself, this time, I was with my stepdad, I would not bend to power and wealth.
However, things suddenly changed.
I still don’t know how my mom got the chance to communicate with Yi. Because a week later, Yi got my phone number and started to text me for a date.
The reason that made my finally bent, was my mom finally chose to divorce with my stepdad a month later, as she stated that my stepdad was “stopping her to go to the top”. The power on my side had already collapsed.
“Sisi, listen to me, although I will not be here anymore, we can still communicate via online, I will try my best to give you advice.” When we met at the airport before his trip back to his own house in China, my stepdad hugged and comforted me.
“I see...But why this happened so soon? I just accepted you as my new dad.” I was still crying.
“It’s OK. But remember, be a kind person, don’t let your mother’s thoughts made you corrosion.” Then he looked up, and we both saw Yi came toward to us.
“Are you ready for our date?” Yi asked, then he held me tight suddenly, and in a purpose. It had been hard for me to breathe. Then he looked at my stepdad like he was a hero, a hero that was laughing at his enemy.
My stepdad, however, was not very pleasant by sawing this. He dragged Yuan, who was stand next to Yi, then he left after talking to her ear.
I don’t know what my stepdad exactly said to Yuan. But what I did know, is Yuan started to pay more attention on Yi. She would start to ask me about Yi’s personalities, she was especially curious about defects of Yi:
“Are you feeling anything wrong when you are with him?”
“No.”
I answered. But there was something wrong. Yi was becoming more and more like my mother—dominant, controlling, and irritability—From the day we started dating, he was complicating the whole time about everything, including the food, the service, and of course, my taste of food.
“Can I come with you to your next date?” Yuan seemed did not get my emotions, “I can protect you if something is wrong.”
“Are you sure? That might be inconvenient to you.” I tried to refuse.
“Am I still your best friend?” Yuan asked me in a coquettishly voice, “As a best friend, it’s my duty to protect you from danger!”
“Well, you can come if you insisted...” I sighed, “But remember, be polite.”
“I will!” Yuan ran away happily.
In the beginning, I thought Yuan was just being worried about me, but soon I started to realize that sometimes, protective equals to possessive.
The next date of Yi and me finally came a week later. We went to a luxury restaurant and had dinner together.
Yi was trying to hug me, but when he saw Yuan walked by my side, his smile faded at once: “You bring a friend with you.”
“Let me introduce.” I started to introduce at once to break the embarrassing silent, “Yuan, this is my boyfriend, Yi. Yi, this is my roommate Yuan.”
“Nice to meet you.” Yuan shook Yi’s hand politely. However, I could not stop notice she held his hand with strong strength, “By the way, I am Sisi’s best friend.” She also strengthened her tone by saying the phrase “best friend.”
“Wow, nice to meet you too. I am glad that someone can protect her for me.” Yi smiled, but his voice was cold.
Then Yi was totally ignored during the whole date. Because when I was trying to talk with Yi, Yuan was there to disturb him every time.
Yi left earlier that evening. I can tell he was upset. Because the way he looked at me, was filled with disappointing and outrage.
“He finally left.” Yuan smiled, “Your dad asked me to look after you. So, I must keep your safe.”
“I am an adult; I do know how to protect myself. OK?”
Maybe because I drank some wines, I started to tell out my real thoughts.
“Then broke up with him!” Yuan started to yell.
“No, I won’t.” I spoke firmly.
Thus, the point how I never forgave about Yuan. She was too controlling and always thought I am a kid who did not know anything...
“Honey, please do remember,” When I was facetime with my mom, I told her about this news, and then she said, “the most important in this society, is to keep yourself alive, and stay on the top rank, whatever the cost. Humans are born to be selfish. If necessary, friends can be abandoned too. Just keep in mind that, you won’t let Yi go easily.”
“No, I won’t.” Since my stepdad left this family, the only person I could rely on, was my mom. Although mom was still desperate wish me to marry Yi, to become the daughter-in-law of the governor, to improve her status. She still provided me many supports—I mean, by finance.
I do miss my stepdad. However, due to time difference, the difficulty of our communications has increased more and more. Moreover, I also need to study. There would be no available time left for us. So, in some way, I still became the person that he did not like—And I had no chance to go back.
But my life would be different, and in some way, dangerous.
As my relationship and Yi developed, he started to show more signs of psychotic. From the beginning, he chose same courses with me in purpose, he also sat next to me every classes... later, he started to request me to report my every actions...The relationship had become more and more toxic.
“Why are you caring me that much?”
I asked Yi one time after we had class.
“Because I love you.” He stopped and answered, “I love you so much, Sisi. Please don’t leave me. Stay by my side...”
Then he looked back to me and hugged me tightly. His voice sounds shaking, but also somehow, made me uncomfortable. I did not know how to describe this feeling, but I could feel another kind of emotion—obsess.
“Sisi...” Yi suddenly got closer and closer, and suddenly, his face was so close that I could feel his breathe, his hands started to hold my waste really tight, “I love you...”
“Stay away from me...” I started to push him away, “I am not ready yet...And we are also in people’s way...”
But Yi had strong strength, he was also taller than me a lot. So, I could barely push him away.
“Stop!” I screamed, and slapped his face by my hand accidently, “You are being too psychotic! Leave me alone weirdo!”
I ran away as soon as possible, and I could not stop tears running down from my cheeks.
Soon after I arrived home, I started to sob.
“Hey, what happened?” Yuan looked at me on the coach, “I thought Yi and you are having an amazing night.”
“You are right. I am sorry, I should broke up with him earlier.”
I murmured.
“See? I was right.” Yuan started to smile, “I knew he was not good at the first time I saw him...What an arrogant and controlling boyfriend he is!”
Then I finally reconciled with Yuan. However, Yuan was still thought I was a young child, she still thought I could not protect myself--Sometimes she was just like my mom.
Yi was also started to text and call me; all his contexts were to scold both me and Yuan. He was always mad at me that I broke him up, and he also scold Yuan:
“Did your little best friend talked to you about something? You believed her rather than me? She is also a controlling person just like me, why can’t you see that?”
I ignored these messages and block Yi’s phone number and his threatens. However, before I got my new phone, the danger and the consequences soon arrived in that raining night.
At that moment, Yuan and I were having dinner. Suddenly, I heard someone was knocking the door.
I opened the door, and I was terrified by seeing Yi stood there, with a knife on his hand; his expression was totally insane; his hair was messed up, and his eyes were filled with blood…
“Sisi, I know you are here...” Yi busted up a pale voice.
“Go outside! You can’t be here!” I felt something was wrong, so I tried my best to push him out.
“I will not. Sisi, as I said, you are always mine, no matter live or die...” Yi had stepped half of his body in the door.
“Sisi, run!” Yuan saw our fight, then she ran towards me and dragged me behind her. “I will be OK.” Then she started to push the door and fought with Yi.
“He is too strong...Let me help you...” I held the door next to Yuan.
“Thank you.”
However, Yi is too strong, we soon had no enough power to hold the door anymore, and Yi had already part way come into the door.
“Do anything you like Sisi, don’t force yourself...”
“Humans are born to be selfish.”
Suddenly, inside my brain, started to flash back my parent’s words, and the scenes of how these two people were controlling my life in different ways.
No, I want to be myself. I am an adult, nobody has the right to control my life, I have to go, I really have to go...
“Hold on, I will go get some tools.” I said, then jump off the window. We were live in the first floor, so I would never get hurt.
“Sisi, come back! I can’t hold the door!” Yuan’s scream rang out behind me.
I looked up from the window, and thus I saw the most horror scene in my life:
Yi was stabbing Yuan with his knife, bloods were flying all around, with Yuan’s screaming, and Yi’s laughing.
