Hi, I'm Sugandh, a 23-year-old operations executive. My job keeps me mainly behind the scenes, a setting that suits my ambivert nature perfectly. I often find social interactions draining, leading me to cultivate a small circle of close friends while mostly keeping to myself. However, my curiosity about people's stories runs deep, and I enjoy quietly observing the world around me.
One crisp October day, I was seated at my desk, the faint hum of office chatter swirling around me. Suddenly, I noticed a group of colleagues gathering nearby, animated and lively, to celebrate a new team member joining from another department. Normally, I would have ignored such HR welcome emails, but something about this occasion piqued my interest. Perhaps it was the festive atmosphere or the idea of connecting with someone new; whatever the reason, I felt an unusual pull to discover who this newcomer was.
Moments later, a loud cheer broke through my thoughts. "Happy Birthday, Sumukh! Let's cut the cake!" My heart sank a little as I remembered why I often disliked my workstation - it was uncomfortably positioned right in the middle of the office, steps away from the Director's cabin and the gathering area. I could hear laughter and music rising in volume, which made me feel even more out of place.
Just then, Nazneen, a friendly face from the team, called out to me, encouraging me to join the celebration. Reluctantly, I stood up, feeling a mix of curiosity and anxiety. As I made my way over, my mind was preoccupied, and I accidentally collided with someone. The impact sent me sprawling onto the floor, a wince escaping my lips as I felt the sting of a bruised elbow and a sore backside.
Looking up, I found myself face to face with someone who seemed vaguely familiar but was hard to place. He quickly apologized his expression a mix of concern and embarrassment. It was Sumukh, the birthday guest himself. Despite his genuine apologies, I waved him off, urging him to focus on the festivities. Yet, even as I tried to shake off the awkwardness, I could feel his intense gaze lingering on me. I forced myself to engage in conversation with Nazneen, but my mind kept circling back to our brief encounter, leaving me to overthink the situation as I eventually returned to my desk with a slice of cake.
As the weeks flew by and New Year's Eve approached, the atmosphere felt like just another day to me. While everyone else buzzed with excitement and plans for the celebration, I was in my world, packing up to head home. My plans were simple: watch a movie and slip into bed early, welcoming the new year in solitude.
As I was leaving the office, I caught a glimpse of Sumukh talking animatedly to Raj nearby. "I don't want to go anywhere; it's too crowded, and I'm just exhausted. Let's call it a day?" he said, his voice trailing off as he turned to face me. Our eyes locked for a brief moment, and I felt a rush of flustered warmth flood over me. In that instant, a strange mixture of familiarity and intrigue sparked within me, igniting a curiosity I couldn't quite shake off.
Since that first encounter, it seemed like our paths began to cross more often. Each time we caught sight of one another, I couldn't help but feel a flutter of recognition. I learned that Sumukh lived nearby, and as the days turned into weeks, he gradually carved a space in my heart without me even realizing it.
One evening, as we both left the office, I found myself walking a few paces behind him toward the railway station. The air was crisp, the fading light of dusk casting a golden hue on everything around us. My thoughts drifted, but as he turned around, my heart skipped a beat, caught off guard by the intensity of his gaze.
Without thinking, I found myself asking, "Sumukh, are you dating anyone?" The question tumbled out before I could process it, and I felt my cheeks flush slightly.
He smiled softly, a hint of warmth in his expression. "No, I'm not dating anyone right now," he replied, his voice gentle. "But I'm also not seeking anyone. I'm still recovering from a broken relationship."
His words hung in the air, and for a moment, I felt a wave of empathy wash over me. My heart sank slightly, but I quickly regained my composure. There was something about his openness that drew me in, and I continued the conversation, eager to learn more about him. We walked side by side, the distance between us closing with every shared word, and I felt an unspoken connection beginning to take root.
After a few weeks of grappling with my feelings for Sumukh, I realized I couldn't keep holding onto them without taking a step forward. Mustering all the courage I could find, I decided to dive into the unknown world of dating. It felt both exhilarating and terrifying, but I was ready to explore new possibilities.
Through a mutual friend, I was introduced to Tanay. He was tall, with a rich, dark complexion that complemented his striking, manly features. There was an undeniable charm about him, and while a small voice in my heart whispered that he might be out of my league, I thought it would be worth a shot to be friends.
I found myself drawn into conversation with him, our exchanges easy and lively, like a gentle breeze rustling through leaves. As I engaged with Tanay more, I started to distance myself from Sumukh, the weight of my feelings for him gradually lifting as I ventured into this new connection.
Months passed, and throughout our chats and shared laughter, I began to feel a spark of excitement I hadn't anticipated. Tanay's presence was refreshing, and I appreciated the way he brought a sense of adventure to my days. Then, after four months of comfortable conversation and camaraderie, he asked me out on a date.
A wave of joy washed over me, filling me with a sense of hope and anticipation. I could hardly contain my excitement; it felt like the beginning of a new chapter, and for the first time in a while, I looked forward to what lay ahead.
But deep down, in a quiet corner of my heart, I was still holding onto the hope that Sumukh would notice me, approach me, and somehow stop me from moving forward. I understood that this hope was unlikely to materialize, yet I couldn't shake it off entirely.
The day of my date arrived, and I got ready in the rest area of my workplace, feeling a mix of excitement and anxiety. There was something palpable in the air that day; it felt as if everyone in the office had their eyes trained on me. I couldn't quite figure out why, but their attention felt heavy and electric, buzzing around me like a swarm of bees.
Just then, Nazneen popped out from behind a partition, startling me. "Oye! What are you up to? Trying to kill the men in our office with that outfit? Even the senior management seems curious about what you're doing!" Her laughter echoed in the space, but my heart sank as I spotted Sumukh striding purposefully toward my workstation, his expression tight with what appeared to be frustration.
"Sugandh, can I speak to you in private for a moment?" he requested, his tone leaving little room for argument. I nodded, a knot of apprehension tightening in my stomach. What could have made him so angry?
Once we were alone, he confronted me directly. "Sugandh, what's with the change in your personality? You used to talk to me, but now it's like I'm invisible when I'm right next to you!" His voice rose, echoing in the small space.
Fear gripped me for a moment, but even more than fear, I felt a surge of anger. I shot back, "Oh! Did that make you feel less important? What about me when I was around you? You never noticed me! What about my feelings for you? When I asked about your relationship status, it felt like I was talking to a wall!"
He looked taken aback, surprise flashing across his face at my sudden outburst. But I pressed on, feeling a rush of emotions spill out. "Sumukh, I don't want to hold onto these feelings any longer. I know you don't see me as a prospect, and I get that. So let me be. I'm sorry I liked you. I'm sorry for imposing myself on you. Thank you for making me feel this way. I hope we can continue as colleagues without this hanging over us."
With that, I turned on my heel and left the cabin, tears threatening to spill over. The moment I stepped out, I rushed to the washroom, desperate to compose myself and contain the overflow of emotions welling up inside me.
In a moment of clarity, I hastily called Tanay, asking him to pick me up from the office. I didn't want to be alone right now; I needed someone to pull me out of this emotional whirlwind.
As the days stretched into weeks, then months, and eventually a year, my relationship with Tanay blossomed into something truly special. We had made it official, and he was excitedly invited to our Halloween party at the office. The anticipation in the air was palpable as we finalized our costumes together, laughing and teasing each other in the process.
Just as we were adjusting our outfits for the evening, Tanay turned to me, his expression playful yet earnest. "Babe! Some guy named Sumukh is calling on your cell phone. We're almost done here, so go ahead and take the call." He punctuated his words with a sweet kiss on my forehead, leaving me both flattered and anxious.
I took a deep breath, feeling a mix of nerves and curiosity, then answered the call. "Hello, Sugandh. How are you?" Sumukh's voice came through, familiar yet distant. "I know it's been a while since we last spoke, but I wanted to talk to you before the party."
"Hi, I'm doing well. Please tell me how I can help you?" I responded, trying to keep my tone professional, even as a flutter of apprehension danced in my stomach.
There was a pause, and then Sumukh let out a sad laugh on the other end, which sent a chill through me. "Sugandh, I'm sorry for not being honest from the start. What I wanted to say is? I liked you too. You've always made me feel safe, no matter the situation. Remember our office picnic? You took care of me when I fell off the track. I'm really grateful for your kindness and for the feelings you had for me."
His words struck me, and my heart began to race. "I wouldn't dare to ask for a chance with you. I know you're happy now, but I just wanted to let you know that I never ignored you; I just failed to communicate how I felt. I'm sorry."
With that, he bid goodbye, and the call ended, leaving me in stunned silence. Tears began to stream down my cheeks, catching me off guard as the weight of his confession washed over me.
Tanay, sensing something was wrong, rushed to my side, worry etched across his face. "Babe, are you okay? Are you hurting anywhere? Do you want to go to the hospital? Please talk to me; I'm worried about you, love." His concern enveloped me like a warm blanket. I hugged him tightly, my heart swelling with a painful mixture of emotions. In that moment, I was grateful to the Divine for surrounding me with good people, even as I mourned what could have been with Sumukh.
Later that evening, as everyone gathered for the party, I caught sight of Sumukh standing across the room with a girl who was short and cute, radiating warmth and laughter. They made an adorable pair, a striking contrast to the heaviness that lingered in my heart. Our eyes met accidentally, and I saw a sad smile spread across his lips, a bittersweet acknowledgment of the bond we once shared. We nodded to each other, a silent agreement that our paths would forever remain distant, yet intertwined in the fabric of our past.