My senior year of high school my English teacher asked us to write about the hardest time in our life. I didn't have just one I wrote about three of the hardest times of my life. The hardest one of all is when I was raped and no one beved me. I was walking home from work it was past 10pm I was about half way home and I passed this guy and I didn't thing anything of it till I felt him grab and drag me to a dark ally like place it was super fast and I didn't know what was going on till my face hit what I believe was a wall. The first thing that I could think of was to try and get out of his hold because I didn't know what he was planing to do. I couldn't escape. The next thing I knew is I felt his lips on my neck and the strong smell of alcohol hit my nose. The next thing I felt was his hand sneaking up my shirt and him groping me I continued to fight because I believed I had a chance to escape. While I continito fight for freedom he threw me on the ground and told me to stop fighting or it will be the last fight ever, at first I didn't wanna stop fighting because I still had hope but I didn't want to be killed and have my parents see my dead raped body. I gave up, as I lay there with all hope lost I feel him start to take my pants off right then I relized what he was going to do I begin to cry because I didn't want this and I felt helpless. While he was raping me i tried to make noise and cry for help so maybe someone could come and help me but he just put his hand over my mouth and continued,I was trying to forget everything from this day but nothing helped I could still feel him touch me, kiss me, violate me I hated it I hated myself. When I finally got home I went straight to my room and cried. The only person I told about this was my significant other and they were amazing they were with me through me healing. The next hardest time came shortly after. About 3 weeks later I missed my period I waited about a week to go get a test the morning I took It I prayed for a negative but when I looked at the test it was positive. I felt like my life was over and I felt alone. I told my significant other and they were so supportive they told me that they will raise it like it was there's and no matter what that they will be by my side. They told there family it was theres. I didn't tell my parents that I was pregnant they found out by going through my messages they told me that I was lying about everything. About a month into my pregnancy I was at work and it felt like I had peed myself so I went to the bathroom and all I saw was a big spot of blood in my underwear and I felt my heart shatter. I stayed in the bathroom for about 5 minutes trying to make it stop and praying that everything with my baby was alright. I had to get back to work so I tool toilet paper and made a makeshift pad with it I tried to make it seem like I wasn't crying. I exited the bathroom and I had to pretend that everything was just fine and I had to attend to people with a smile while I felt physical and emotional pain.i couldn't even talk to my parents about it because they believe that I was just lying about it. When I told my significant other and they were devised but they told me how we they will love me no matter what a baby won't change how they felt. The third hardest time of my life was when I was put into foster care. I had to sit there and watch as my parents signed me away. I couldn't do anything but sit there and cry and hate everything and everyone. I was in the office for hours till they found me a place to stay. The first home I went to I loved I was there for about 2 months till one late night a worker that wasn't even mine came and said that I need to pack my bags she didn't even tell me why. After an hour of being in the car she pulled up to this run down dirty apartment building. When we finally found the right apartment we knocked and a kid answered the door, it took about 30 minutes for the foster mom to come to the door. I finally get into the apartment and there Are 5 other girls. The Apartment was only three bedrooms . The bedrooms could nearly fit a a twin bed but there were 2 in each of the 2 rooms for the kids me and another girl slept in the living room on roll out beds. The first night I felt something wet on my leg as I felt my leg I pick something up that felt wet I turned on my flashlight and it was a cockroach. He worst part of that house was for the 9/10 months i was there she starved us, for the month she would set a box of 4 snack cakes in the empty pantry and expected 8 of us to make it last for the month. When i would bring it up to my worker she would tell me Howie need to stop lying and I should be glad that I was in her house because she is such a good foster mom. There was clear evidence that she was starving us, some of the clothes that were tight on me when I got there were falling off of me in a month. we started to walk a mile to the store just to steal backpacks full of food and used whatever change we scraped up to buy some so we didn't look suspicious but when our workers found out what we were doing they threatened to lock us up in a facility if they found out we were doing it again. One of the worst things my foster mom did was when I went on visitations with my mom and she would buy me food to last me till I saw her again. When I got back to the foster home she would take everything my mom gave me and threw it away. When she would cook something she would purposefully but things that I was highly allergic to in it just so I couldn't eat it then say that she "forgot" I was deathly allergic to it. The most annoying/something she wasn't supposed to do was allow her niece to read our files. When the foster mom wet out of town we were split up and put in a different home for a week and when I got to that house as soon as I walked in the smell of cat pee hit me. I did not want to stay there but I had no choice. When I walked into the room I was supposed to sleep in it was dirty and there was cockroaches crawling everywhere. When I came into the living room there son came out and dragged me to his room and wouldn't let me leave till I watched him play video games. Foster houses aren't supposed to have both girls and guys in one house but they did which is against the rules. I fell asleep by accident in his bed and when I woke up he was next to me in only his underwear, I freaked out because I am a heavy sleeper and I don't know if he did anything to me. The whole week I refused to eat because even inside the fridge was filled with cockroaches. The whole house was a huge Heath hazard. When I showed I still felt nasty, they told me how the cats they have like to use there bathtub as a litter box. When I even wore normal clothes he would try groping me and telling me how sexy I looked I wanted to leave but couldn't. When my worker called me I couldn't have any privacy to talk to her and tell her what is going on. I was picked up early and when I got to the houses was originally at I got in the shower and put everything I had in the washing machine. I have had a lot of bad times in my life but I believe the ones I wrote about today was the worst ones.
