Luscious, majestic, golden. The sunset’s reflection on his eyes is like looking into the eyes of Zeus. So enchanting that you become tempted to do the wildest of things. So enchanting that you get the craziest impulses ever known to man. We had got so close over the past few weeks and that was all I wanted, but there was one dilemma, he's dating Sofia. My feelings become too overwhelming, taking over every muscle in my body until we stop. This is where we separate, to go onto our roads. “giz a love then” Ryan says. “I'm not complaining” I return, because although Ryan thinks that we are both used to our flirtatious jokes, he is unaware how much every word means to me. As were exiting the hug, I look up at him, into his eyes, with the electric blue and the enchanting gold just merging together in a stream of temptation. I lean in. I kiss him. He kisses me back. Is this heaven? It seems like it. All until we hear it. “What. The. Fuck.” it was Vinnie, Sofia’s obsessed ex-boyfriend who had been jealous of her and Ryan, holding up his phone as though he had just taken a picture of us. “shit” both me and Ryan say in unison, we knew he’d tell Sofia. But heck, I didn't mind, maybe this would mean I would have Ryan all to myself, until I realise, it's always been that I would have to choose one, Sofia or Ryan. And it’s a really hard choice that I've been dreading since these feelings had begun.
You see, for the past two years I have crushed on Ryan, and I used to see him every Friday for half of the school year because of the school shows, i saw him every time I had drama, that was his favourite lesson after all, but he never loved me back. I have always loved him. But two months ago, he decided to go out with my best friend Sofia, which lead me to question myself and ask, why should I believe in love if I’m glaring at you like there's no tomorrow and you're looking at her as if you plan on marrying her tomorrow. Why should I try? It's just torture to myself, but I had hoped that when they had got together that my crush on Ryan would stop, as it did when she had dated Vinnie, however that didn't work, he’s all I want. All I need.
Clearly we didn't think about the consequences of our actions, we didn't think about how it would impact Sofia, who has been my best friend for five years, she is like a sister to me at this point, I have sleepovers with her every weekend and that's all I need to survive, after all, she was the one who has saved me so many times, when I felt as though the whole world hated me, she stayed by my side. When I was accused of the wildest allegations, she was the one who stood by my side. When I have struggles with my family, she was the one who stood by my side. She is my favourite person, someone who I dread the thought of losing, my best friend, my sister, my everything, but all it took was three seconds to tear the whole thing apart, we both knew that Vinnie would send the picture to Sofia, we both knew it. And we both knew that it would kill her to see it.
Throughout the week, I had made multiple attempts to speak to her, to explain myself but it was clear that she didn't want to speak to me. On the Thursday, I remembered that she had intervention without the rest of her friends and I knew that she would be walking home, so I double checked her location and followed her through the forest that we always walked through and tapped her on the shoulder gently, trying to ask how she was doing and apologise and explain that I didn't know what came over me but she just broke down, right in front of me, sobbing profusely, her teardrops bleeding from her eyes like a waterfall, I felt awful, all I wanted to do was crouch down and cry with her, but before I could hug her and apologise, she just stood up and muttered “fuck you man” and then ran off crying.
Around two hours had passed, and I was sat at home, I got a notification from Libby, asking me to come round to hers because Sofia was breaking down and she needed our crew to reunite because she doesn't hate us, but she just needs help. I got changed and started walking to the bus, with sicko mode blasting down my ear and a tear strolling down my cheek from the wind. When I got there, Libby let me in and we walked upstairs and I just walked through her bedroom door and just stood there, seeing Sofia and Ryan lying together once again made my heart warm, yet break all in one go. Once she spotted me, Sofia shot up “what are you doing here?” to which I replied “Libby told me that you needed me so I came” and then she just ran at me, my whole body tensed so much that I turned fully stiff, but she wasn't trying to hurt me, she just gave me a hug. We both started crying, and I apologised, explaining that I was really sorry and didn't know what came over me, and she just sat and listened, forgiving my actions and understanding that I honestly meant my apology. This was all I needed, her acceptance of my apology.
