After my Near-Death Experience (NDE) on Jan 1, 2019, I was not given solid food for two days. On the third day, the hospital nurse brought in soup and a vegetable sandwich. The aroma of the soup filled the room and that triggered my hunger. As I took a spoonful, I was able to taste the tomato, broccoli, and carrots. Each of them had a distinct taste with a mix of sour and sweet. The sandwich was formed by putting mozzarella cheese, lettuce, tomato, and cucumber in between two slices of white bread. I smelt the leafiness of the lettuce and the juicy cucumbers. As I took a bite of the sandwich, it felt as though I had never eaten in my life, and this was my first meal. I relished eating the soup and sandwich.
In the past I had not paid much attention to what I ate and that might have been the reason for my high blood sugar readings and weight gain. As I reflected on this, I realized the importance of food to my life, and I recalled how my perception of it has changed significantly from my childhood to my senior years.
Childhood
When I was a child in India during the 1950s, my mother had to feed a large family: her four sons and an equivalent number of relative's children who were residing with us. My dad was a magistrate (judge) in the towns where we lived. Given that the British ruled India and created the judicial cadre, the government assigned three servants to help a magistrate. This practice was followed in the 1960s even though India had gained independence. One of the servants helped my mom run the household. He would procure the vegetables needed for daily cooking and my mom would make fresh food each day.
The kitchen was old-fashioned and at the back of the house. There were no electrical appliances in the kitchen. The pots and pans were stored in a cabinet. A clay stove sat in one corner of the room right below a window. The stove was built-in, semi-circular in shape, had an opening at the bottom to insert the wood, and two projections on the side so that the pots could rest on them. My mom would start the fire by putting cow-dung cakes (made by mixing feces of cows with straw, laying them out as a circular cake on walls, and drying them) into it. Once the fire started, she would insert small wood chips and then larger pieces of wood to keep the stove burning. The servants' job was to procure the cow-dung cakes and wood from the market. Occasionally, my mom would pick cow dung from the streets, mix it with straw, and lay them on the wall of our house so that we could obtain cow-dung cakes. She would boil the milk, put a bit of yogurt (curd) in it, and then ferment it overnight. Once it turned into yogurt, she would then add water and salt to it and churn it thoroughly to make buttermilk.
We ate plenty of food: meals before going to school; snacks after returning from school, and dinner in the evening. My mom got up early in the morning to cook South Indian meals in the morning: rice, sambar (legumes such as toor or urad dal, water, vegetables, and tamarind mixture), rasam (legumes, tomatoes, or lemons), and one vegetable. She sat on the ground performing all these jobs and used a knife fixed on a wooden board to cut the vegetables. Given that she had only a single stove, each item had to be cooked, stored, and then the next item had to be cooked. It took her about two hours to cook the morning meal. We consumed large quantities of rice with each meal. Occasionally, she will fry papad (an Indian dough of black gram bean flour, either deep fried or cooked with dry heat until crunchy) to serve with the food. Even though she could have purchased papad from the store, she made the dough from scratch, rolled it into thin cakes, and then dried them in the sun. She made delicious food, and the aroma of the food would make us feel hungry as we got ready for school. Our role was to study, play, attend school, and eat the food.
Our meals consisted of eating rice with sambar, rasam, and buttermilk, with a little bit of vegetables on the side. She cooked the long-grain rice, and its aroma would permeate the house. My dad used to insist that the cooked rice should be white like the jasmine flower. It had to be cooked to such a level that it would mix well with the other items. The sambar would have a tangy taste due to the tamarind and the spices; cooked toor dal was put into it making it a little bit solid. When I used to mix the rice with sambar, it would result in a dark grey to reddish brown color. Rasam was a liquid mix, and you could smell the coriander and tomatoes. Sometimes, lemon would be used to make rasam and my dad used to drink it like a soup. When I mixed it with rice, the water would flow all over my plate and I had a difficult time scooping it up. Buttermilk mixed with rice would be white in color and would soothe down the stomach. Occasionally, we would eat a pickle along with that bringing more flavor and taste to the buttermilk rice mix. The cooked vegetable (such as eggplant, okra, or beans) would sit on the side of the plate waiting for me to eat it along with one of the three dishes.
When we returned from school, my mom made snacks such as idli (soft and steamy cake made with fermented rice and lentil batter), dosa (thin crepe made with fermented rice and lentil batter), or upma (semolina dish). To make the batter, she had to grind the ingredients on a stone grinder. A smooth grinder was at the bottom and another grinder with a handle was at the top. There was a hole in the middle with a wood or iron rod in the middle. You put the rice and urad dal through the hole in the top grinder, put water, and rotate the handle. The dough would form and then you had to take it and put it back and keep grinding until you get the right consistency. It took an hour to grind rice and the dal to make sufficient batter for the family. Then, it was fermented overnight before use. After we returned from playing outside, she cooked our dinner, which was like the morning meal.
The pots and pans were large and gathered soot at the bottom after each meal. If you turned off the stove, then you had to light it up again in the evening. The kitchens were dark places full of smoke, and the walls were black due to the soot. My mom had more than ten people to feed and was busy cooking food constantly. A servant came each morning to clean all the pots and pans and got my mom ready for the day's cooking.
We would sit on the floor with stainless steel plates in front of us and eat food with our fingers. My mom would serve food to each person and move onto the next. My elder brother, Murali, would eat very quickly and my mom had to rush to ensure that he got fed before he walked away. All of us ate quickly, never commented on the quality of the food that was cooked and took my mother's efforts for granted. None of us appreciated the amount of effort my mom put into making the delicious dishes each day with the limited amount of funds that were available. We also did not help her in doing the cleanup. Being a patriarchal society, housework was not expected of men or boys during the 1960s and we followed that pattern.
We were vegetarians and no eggs or meat were cooked in the home. The food had a major concentration of carbohydrates and limited protein. There was no refrigerator and the food had to be consumed the same day it was cooked. If there was any extra, it had to be either given away or thrown away.
The use of cashews or almonds was limited at home as these were expensive. Peanuts were available in plenty and were used a lot more in cooking. Our grandfather would periodically send rice, peanuts, and tamarind from the cultivated lands in our ancestral village. The quality of rice would vary from year to year depending on the kind of rice that was cultivated. We did not eat outside in restaurants and purchased snacks occasionally.
Our ability to purchase snacks occurred once a month when our father would give us a quarter Rupee if we behaved well. It was not easy getting this reward since we lived in small towns and any of our misbehaviors were promptly relayed to him by the local policeman when they met him in his office.
We would take the quarter Rupee and buy roasted nuts. The nut seller would be sitting on a raised platform with a coal stove where puffed rice would be roasted. He would mix it with salted peanuts and split peas. He would tear a quarter page from an old newspaper, roll it into a cone, and pour the mix into it and hand it to us. We used to eat it slowly savoring the taste. The crunchy rice would mix with the juicy peanut in our mouth creating a juicy, salty, sweet, and sticky taste that we would remember for some time.
My parents' knowledge about nutrition and organic food was limited. Our consumption of vegetables and fruits was limited since they were expensive. The grocery items were expensive and consumed at least half of the monthly budget for the household. When we traveled, we typically stayed in some relative's home and partook in their meals.
I was thin and underweight (about 75 pounds when I was fifteen) given that I ate a lot of carbs, commuted using bicycles, and played outside every day. We, the four boys, grew up without rudimentary knowledge about cooking and little appreciation for the effort involved in getting a well-cooked meal to the table.
College
I was admitted to the Regional Engineering college, Trichy, in 1966. Upon admission, all students had to weigh at least eighty pounds. This requirement was put in place since many of the engineering laboratories required the students to use heavy tools such as hammers, mallets, and others. The college wanted to ensure that the students could lift and use such weights. I weighed only seventy-seven pounds and had to eat a lot of bananas and other food to pass this requirement. There were many other students like me who were underweight due to lack of consuming nutritious food.
In this college, there were two hundred and fifty youth living in three dorms; there were two kinds of mess (cafeteria); one offered South Indian and the other North Indian food. I chose the South Indian cafeteria. Our principal kept a keen watch on the mess and ensured that we got high quality food at a subsidized rate.
Our morning classes started at 7 a.m., and ended at 9 a.m. All of us would rush from the laboratories to the cafeteria to have breakfast. Fast food items such as idli, dosai, pongal, or upma would be provided. There were no limits to how much we could eat, and we would compete to see who ate the most food. There were long benches with chairs put behind them. The food would be served on stainless steel plates. As the cafeteria accommodated only about fifty students, we had to line up behind somebody who was finishing their breakfast and take the seat even before the place was cleaned.
Mid-morning classes were held between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. and lunch would be served at that time. Typical lunch consisted of eating a mix of cooked rice with sambar, rasam, and butter milk, with a side dish of curries and pickles. Classes continued between 2 to 5 p.m. when we would return for a snack (called tiffin time). We would play outside and relax, and dinner would be served at 8 p.m. I relished the food and looked forward to what would be on the menu for the next day. Some of the students formed the mess (cafeteria) committee and decided on the menu for the week. I consumed a lot more vegetables and enjoyed the variety of foods that were offered.
The quality and quantity of food offered helped all of us become better built and healthier during our five-year stay on the campus. By the time I graduated in 1971, I had gained substantial weight (hundred and twenty pounds) and strength due to the good food and outdoor activities available at the College.
When I joined Indian Institute of Management Calcutta (Kolkata) during 1971, I had to get used to different kinds of food since it was in West Bengal, another state. They cooked food common in Eastern and North India. This included items such as toast, dal (watery lentil soup), chapati (roti), and rice. The food tasted different since they used different mixes of spices and oils. Fish was a staple diet in Kolkata and being brought up as a vegetarian, I did not want to try it. I got used to the rather bland food offered in the mess. A few friends and I would take a bus to go to South Kolkata where there were a few restaurants that offered items from the South Indian region. On the long-bus ride there, we would observe that it wasn't just the food that was different. The dress, the customs, and the rituals were also radically different in Kolkata from that of South India.
Some of my Bengali friends introduced us to Samosas, Puris, etc., that were available widely in road-side stalls. I was not used to cheese in South India, and it was a treat to eat the sweets made with cheese such as Rasa Gola, Sandesh, Chum Chum, etc. The road-side vendors would sell Pani Puri (called as Puchka) where they would give you a small puffed puri, break the top, and put in ingredients such as potato, onion, and sour tamarind water. We ate eight to ten at a time since they were so delicious. Another item available on the roadside was Samosa (Singada), which was a triangular flour pastry filled with potatoes, peas, lentils, and onions. Puri (called luchi) was another delicious food that was served with cooked dal. These were served hot and were tasty. The roadside stalls were not that hygienic, and I did not pay much attention to that aspect of food preparation and delivery.
Next to our institute, there was a dhaba (a road-side restaurant that served truck drivers). It used to serve delicious north-Indian food at subsidized rates and was open 24/7. The trucks would be parked on the side of the street, and the truck drivers would sleep, eat, and use the toilets. It was dirty, but the quality of food was good, and the prices were reasonable. Also, local liquor called Bangla was available and many of my friends used to drink it. I was afraid to try it and abstained from buying it. When I got tired of eating the bland food from the mess, I would frequent dhaba to eat the delicious curries and chapatis.
I worked in Kolkata after graduation and stayed in apartments with classmates. Since none of us knew how to cook, we used to eat out in restaurants regularly. I assumed that cooking was a difficult chore and did not prepare my own food. Eating out led to consuming unhealthy foods and paying unaffordable prices for them.
One of my friends, Kasi, introduced me to a family who had migrated from South India and were living at Kolkata. The three daughters in that family were gregarious and outgoing people. Their father had passed away and their mother was dependent on them for running the household. I spent many evenings at their home playing carroms, discussing books, and eating the amazing food offered by their mom. Their cousin Lakshmi would visit their apartment and would hang out with us. I also visited Lakshmi's apartment which was nearby, and her mom would lavish a lot of affection and offered delicious food to eat whenever I visited them. Given that I was away from home and eating sub-standard food in restaurants, this was a welcome change.
In the course of time, Lakshmi and I fell in love, and we got married in March 1977. It was expensive to rent apartments in South Kolkata and I moved closer to my institute at a place called Thakurpukur, during January. There were no South Indian restaurants nearby and I had to figure out what to do about my meals. Fortunately for me, a colleague from South India, lived nearby and was a good cook. I used to buy vegetables and assist him in cooking. He made delicious food, and we shared the expenses. This changed once Lakshmi and I got married and she came to live with me in March. Her parents got her the necessary pots and pans and set up our house. We walked up to the local market to buy vegetables and groceries each day. The vendors would sit on gunny sacks and would sell fresh vegetables and fruits. We would take a bag with us, negotiate with the vendors, and buy vegetables needed for the day. As was traditional in Indian culture, Lakshmi prepared good South Indian dishes, took care of the kitchen, and I did not help. My bachelor days of scrounging for good food were over.
Northeast USA
I came to Philadelphia to pursue my Ph.D. from the University of Pennsylvania in August 1977. Lakshmi did not accompany me since it was unaffordable, and she was pursuing her master's program. I did not have sufficient funds to go to restaurants; therefore, I had to cook. One of my friends helped me buy a few pots and pans and I started to cook - very rudimentary dishes such as rice, sambar, and curry. I did not have any recipe books and did not feel that it was manly to ask my mom or wife for recipes. I did not even know the kinds of dried beans that I needed to buy from the stores to make traditional South Indian dishes. I spent as little time as possible cooking, and the result was terrible; the food was half-burnt and tasteless. The chapati would be hard as a rock and difficult to tear. The sambar would be watery with unevenly cut vegetables floating on them and the beans would stay at the bottom uncooked. I would buy Sour Cream from the supermarket thinking it was yogurt and mix it with rice resulting in a thick and sour rice. I would keep them in the refrigerator for days and eat them after reheating them. As I had to survive on this food for nine months, I slowly improvised and improved my cooking abilities.
Occasionally, a few of my Indian friends and their wives came to my apartment and partook of the dinner. Even though my cooking was below standard, they relished it since their cooking abilities were also rudimentary. This period made me appreciate the amount of effort involved in obtaining quality ingredients, cooking food, and consuming it.
Lakshmi joined me in Philadelphia in May 1978 after finishing her master's program. When she arrived after her forty-hours of flight, I had prepared traditional South Indian lunch, she relished eating it and commented that it was of reasonable quality.
We obtained vegetables from the nearby Acme store, or from the Italian Market in South Philadelphia. In contrast to India, we were surprised to see the variety of vegetables and fruits available at reasonable prices in the USA. There were two small Indian stores near the campus and that helped us get our Indian spices, rich, toor dal, urad dal, and vegetables.
Lakshmi grew up in a family of foodies. She took efforts to cook delicious South and North Indian food. After a few years, my mom and her mom visited us in the USA leading to preparation of mouth-watering dishes. All I had to do was to consume the amazing food and appreciate the people who spent time making those dishes.
During the 1980s, my brother, Murali, his wife, Uma, and their two children lived near us. We would meet on weekends and the ladies would cook delicious food for their husbands and four children. When we went for a walk and returned, I used to smell the aroma of the Indian masala and curries before even entering the house. My job was desk-bound, and I did not perform rigorous exercise. I also consumed Indian sweets and began enjoying the US desserts such as ice cream, cakes, and pies. Consuming such high-calorie diets led to obesity (weighing 180 pounds) and its attendant diseases - blood pressure and diabetes as I turned 40.
My work at AT&T Bell Laboratories, New Jersey, during 1985 to 1989 taught me a lot about American food habits and business practices. I was the engineering liaison and traveled to meet customers along with our marketing team.
Chris, my marketing manager, had company credit cards that he would use to charge for dinners, and he had a little black book that he would use to identify Michelin-rated restaurants when we traveled. These were high-priced restaurants where one had to wear a suit to enter. Occasionally, I would not know the protocol and wore casual dress; the waiter would give me a suit that they had for such customers. I had a difficult time understanding the menu items as they had esoteric names and frequently, the only vegetarian option would be a salad. The wine and drink lists were exhaustive, and Chris would coach me about the wines and flavors. Frequently, the server would frown at me since he/she had not heard of many clients who wanted a vegetarian option in these restaurants during the 1980s.
The company also offered courses on how to dine well and it helped me adapt to the rigors of social dining. Many clients from the Fortune 100 companies wanted to feel comfortable with the sales and engineering team before they parted with millions of dollars for a product or service. The eating-out in expensive restaurants and playing golf cemented many business deals.
Once, we were in Houston on a business trip, and Chris booked a table in a seafood restaurant for dinner. He was busy cracking clams and eating them, whereas I was eating salads.
Chris: Chetan, how is your dinner?
Me: Ok. In the salad, they put too much lettuce and very little other vegetables. The salad dressing makes it eatable, but not very tasty. You know I like hot vegetarian food for dinner. How is yours?
Chris: It is delicious. Amazing food. Cracking open these clams is a challenge. It smells so great, fresh, and salty. I can feast on them all through this evening. You should try some.
We kept this up for three days. On the fourth day, when we were planning our dinner, I told him: "Hi, Chris, I need a break. I have been eating salad for three days and I need a hot meal."
Chris: What do you want to do?
Me: I will go to a pizza restaurant.
Chris: Please go ahead; I would go to the seafood place where I have a reservation.
We drove separately to our restaurants. In the 1980s, there were few Indian restaurants and I had to settle for a pizza dinner. It was lonely to order the dinner by myself and eat it; but it was hot, tasty, and I felt a lot better.
I learned a lot about table manners, eating protocols in expensive restaurants, and other important social tips from Chris. He told me that when we had to meet an important client for dinner, it was important that we were not hungry. If needed, he told me to eat something before dinner. He talked about how clients could get turned off quickly and the need to keep proper decorum during the dinner. This experience helped me a lot in the future in dealing with clients in other settings. I realized the value of food in bonding relationships and making people feel comfortable with each other.
Chris and I got along well, and he requested me to travel with him to client sites so that I can address the technical issues. I was excited to stay in five-star hotels, fly in comfort, eat in great restaurants, and rent cars at all the sites. The company gave me a credit card and I would charge all my expenses to the card. The meeting with the clients was stressful. They were paying millions of dollars to AT&T and expected us to be at the site whenever a problem developed. Frequently, our visit was not that essential since the problem could be solved by phone; but the client wanted to feel important and expected us to be at the site. As I performed this task for a few years, I missed several of our children's school activities. I felt that I was missing performing research on new information technologies and wasting my time placating rich clients whose demands seemed to be unreasonable. I did not want to spend my working life catering to the whims and fancies of these clients. In addition, there was intense competition among the project team members since all of us aspired to climb to the next higher position. I decided that climbing the corporate ladder was not my mission in life, even though the financial rewards were enticing.
Southeast USA
I felt an urge to change back to academics where I could pursue research projects, teach young students, lead a simpler life, and spend time with the family. I joined as an Assistant Professor at Auburn University, Alabama in 1989. This was a completely different experience. What I charged as travel expenses for a year at AT&T was the same amount that was spent by the thirty faculty members in the Management department to travel in a year. Faculty members and administrators were on a tight budget and eating out at high-priced restaurants at university expense was not common. When we traveled to conferences, the travel budget did not cover the expenses and faculty would share hotel rooms.
The best restaurant in Auburn at that time was the dining room at the University hotel and conference center. In addition, no alcohol was served on Sundays in any restaurant due to it being in the Bible Belt. Many faculty and students were from rural parts of the South, and they frequented the popular southern restaurants or brought lunch from home. It took me a year to get adjusted to the new reality of a restricted travel budget, but it was compensated for by the time I spent with my family. We were nine-month employees and had to teach extra courses to make a salary during the summer. I did not teach during the summers until my children left for college, thereby spending valuable time with them. The South is blessed with many parks and lakes where it is easy to reserve a campsite. During the summers, we camped in state parks and cooked our meals on propane stoves. This brought back memories of my childhood and our family bonded together during these sojourns as we worked together to make the camping experience a memorable event.
In Auburn, I experienced the culture of southern food, such as fried okra, kale, fried green tomatoes, or artichoke. The vegetables and fruits available were local and we were not able to get the Indian vegetables such as banana blossoms, taro root, Indian eggplant, green bananas, ash gourd, calabash coriander, etc.
Some of our friends told us that there were a few Indian grocery stores in Decatur, Georgia, about hundred miles from Auburn. We went there every month to get our Indian groceries. In addition, we shopped in the Dekalb Farmers Market that was just a mile away from the Indian stores. It was a large indoor market, the size of three football fields. Vegetables and fruits from around the world were sold in the right half of the store. Cheese, delicacies, desserts, bread, yogurt, and other frozen items were sold in the left half of the store. We found it to be busy at all times of the year; it was a favorite of those who preferred fresh vegetables and fruits. The cashiers would be from India or Africa, and we appreciated the international flavor of this market. I enjoyed these day trips to Atlanta and became more familiar with Decatur and its environment as we were there once a month for our food shopping.
There were about 30 to 40 Indian families at Auburn during the 1990s; most of them either worked at Auburn University or at Tuskegee University, a HBCU, about 20 miles away. They had formed an Indian Association, and we were part of that group. We mixed with Indians from different parts of the country; in addition, we formed friendships with the local people.
Whenever we visited restaurants at Auburn, our choices were limited to two or three items. We found that in Mexican restaurants we can obtain good dishes without meat. We started going to them whenever we ate out, which was rare by itself. Being a vegetarian in the USA was a difficult experience for us since the options were limited and it was unusual in the Deep South. Therefore, we gave freedom to our children to choose what they chose to eat, although Lakshmi only cooked vegetarian dishes at home.
Our food habits stayed constant during our careers. Only variation was the lunch: whether it was a sandwich, fruits, or some Indian snack item such as idli or dosa. We slowly substituted 0% milk for whole milk and adopted the use of healthy cereals during breakfast.
My mom or Lakshmi never asked me to cook or assist them. They did not expect their husbands or children to help cook or clean the dishes. Whenever I needed to cook, I prepared food in the least amount of time, in copious quantities, and with little care. Most of the food had to be thrown away since it was unappetizing.
In 1995, Lakshmi was in India visiting her family for a month. My children were teenagers at the time, and Akila did not relish the food I prepared.
"Dad, when you go to the supermarket, buy vegetables, and cut them. I will cook."
I asked, "Why, Akila?"
She replied, "I will make better dishes, Dad."
Akila made a menu for each day and ensured that we ate well during Lakshmi's absence. She took a lot of interest in cooking and made novel dishes. After her marriage in 2001, she would invite us to Thanksgiving and/or Christmas lunch/ dinners and made dishes from around the world.
My appreciation for food deepened when I participated as a faculty member in the Food Systems Institute at Auburn University during the 2000s. A serious problem facing the fishing industry was that customers wanted to know where it was caught but were not able to do so. This was important since occasionally toxic spills happened in the ocean and people did not want to eat fish from that region. We experimented with different information systems and were not able to find a good system given the budget constraints. This project gave me a heightened awareness of the difficulties in acquiring, transporting, distributing, and consuming food items.
Truffle Hunting in Italy
In 2012, my daughter Akila and her husband Patrick were traveling in the Tuscan region of Italy and invited me to join them. I visited with them, and they had booked a truffle hunting tour in that region . I was not sure what it was but accompanied them. We drove for a while and stopped at a local expert's house. Akila talked to him about truffles.
He said, "Truffles are mushrooms that grow underground in forests. They're shaped like small, unsymmetrical balls and can be found by digging, especially near tree roots. It's kind of like an intense mushroom but without the pungency that most mushrooms have, a little bit sweeter, and stronger but more delicate all at the same time. Are you ready for the hunt?"
Akila said, "Yes, we are ready. Truffles are expensive and are pricey in the USA. We pay $5 to $300 per ounce."
He said, "Yes, it is not easy to find them. They only grow in one season, and you need a trained dog to smell the truffle and help me dig it. You would see this in action."
We followed the truffle hunter and his dog through the woods in a nearby forest as the dog scanned under the forest floor. The dog smelled the truffle and ran to dig and eat it. He restrained it and dug it out. We spent an hour hunting for a few truffles through the mountainside. I was surprised that one would spend so much time hunting for a few truffles when other kinds of mushrooms are available.
We returned to his house, and I had a surprise. Akila had talked to him earlier and his wife had prepared three-course meals where truffle was used in every dish. She prepared us a sensational truffle meal, ranging from a cheese course with pastry stuffed with cheese, a white bean soup, gnocchi, a cheese popover, omelet, and apple pastry, all with shaved truffles on top. The aroma and taste of each dish was exquisite, and it was an unforgettable experience. I started to appreciate the amount of effort involved in preparing appetizing meals.
Akila's interest in food continued and became so important to her that she started a company called "Unexpected Atlanta," which offers food and history tours in Atlanta. Now, she has created virtual tours for companies where she combines food and history to create a compelling story. She taught me that good food is integral to every civilization and plays a major role in history and politics.
Learning to Cook After Retirement
After I retired in 2016, I spent a few months in New Jersey where our grandson Kian was born. Lakshmi was working and was not able to accompany me. Since I had time, I used to cook Indian dishes using online recipes. My son, Shiv, and daughter-in-law, Deepa, enjoyed the dishes and encouraged me in my efforts to learn cooking. Deepa praised my sambar and used to relish having it. She also taught me how to make a few baked items, such as banana bread. I found that cooking required concentrated effort and time like what I used to spend on my research. I cooked often in their apartment and thereby improved my cooking ability. Now, my family raves about some of the dishes I prepare. I have enjoyed making new dishes. When I put effort to make good dishes, I find that I could make dishes that are comparable in quality to those prepared by Lakshmi or her mom. I also help with cleanup after cooking.
When I was young, I was told to leave a clean plate; never waste food. As I have grown older, I see the folly of it. If you are full, do not eat any more. The extra food gives your digestive system additional work, and it is not worth it. In addition, one needs to spend sufficient time chewing and eating food and not rushing through it.
Controlling my Diabetes by Changing my Diet
Eating has its own risks and rewards; I have realized that we must be deliberate in what we eat . After my heart bypass surgery and its aftermath, I struggled to pass stools and was constipated for a couple of days. Our ability to urinate and pass stools is directly connected to what we eat or drink.
After the NDE, I was allowed to eat food in smaller quantities until my GI tract was healed and able to digest the food. Before my surgery, I had a small potbelly from years of overeating and lack of adequate exercise. One good thing that came out of eating small portion sizes after the NDE was that I lost my potbelly (weighed 150 pounds) and had to buy clothes that were one size smaller.
We met with an endocrinologist after my recovery. He recommended that we meet with his nutritionist. We discussed our food habits and discovered that we eat a carb-heavy diet since our staple food is rice. Even though we intended to add more protein to our diet, it was only to a limited extent. Talking to her, we found out that we could purchase protein-rich milk, tofu, cheese, eggs, grains such as millet, quinoa, wild rice, and other products and lessen the consumption of rice and its associated products. She also told me to eat more salads and limit consumption of fruits, that too those with a high sugar content.
The doctor also prescribed a continuous monitoring system for my blood sugar and put me on medication. He set alarms on the monitoring system so that if I ate the wrong kinds of food, it would beep. For a year, I kept electronic diaries of what I ate for each meal and then took readings of my blood sugar two hours after eating any meal. This helped me identify foods that suited me and the food that increased my blood sugar. I was diligent and reduced my A1/C readings (between 6 and 7) within six months.
A dish that I enjoyed eating was idlis (a soft and fluffy cake made with fermented rice and lentil batter) since it was a healthy South Indian food. With the continuous monitoring system, I noticed that my blood sugar read in the 270 range after eating them. Even eating dosa (a thin crepe made with same batter as idli) increased my sugar reading to above 200. We added cheese to the dosa and then my readings came to less than 180. I also found that eating any kind of rice increased my sugar readings to above 200. I had to desist from eating rice or idli and confine myself to eating chapati (that too particular brands).
I was surprised to find that milk and other dairy products contain enough sugar to hike up my blood sugar readings. I had to purchase protein-rich milk products and Greek yogurt so that it was kept under control.
It was my normal practice to eat fruit for lunch. I found that the sugar readings would go up and had to substitute it with salads, even though it does not taste sweet. Having done this extensive research study, Lakshmi and I have now identified food that suits me and restrict ourselves to those diets. Lakshmi has been a great helper in experimenting with the new diets and ensuring that my blood sugar is under control. Due to better diet management, I am taking a lot less medicines to control my blood sugar and keep it under 200 most of the time. My A1/C has also reduced to 6.1 thereby relieving me from the stress of contracting diabetes related diseases.
I have a sweet tooth. If sweets are around, I would find a reason to grab them. When my granddaughters saw me do this, they drew pictures of ice cream, pie, and other sweet dishes and gave them to me. They told me to look at them and salivate, instead of eating the desserts. I have put these pictures on the back of my translucent phone cover. When I look at a delicious, sweet dish, and am tempted to eat it, I look at the picture on the back of the phone and desist from eating it. I find this to be very helpful in controlling the impulses of my sweet tooth.
Earlier, I was reluctant to talk about my blood sugar issues; now, I share this information with my family and friends. I also tell them that the food that suits me might not suit them. It is important to experiment and identify the food that keeps one's blood sugar under control.
Studies show that 537 million adults in the world have diabetes and three in four of them live in low and middle-income countries. 48.8% of Americans over the age of 65 have diabetes or pre-diabetes. Diabetes is notorious for causing health complications throughout the body from vision and kidney failure to stroke, heart disease, and amputations . I know of a few relatives who are suffering from severe diabetes related health issues, but they are reluctant to modify their food habits, exercise, and change their lifestyle. They rely on medicine alone and that is not sufficient to address this difficult disease. My experience is that food habits must change drastically in addition to taking appropriate medicine, performing exercise, and following other healthy habits.
Helping Others
Not everybody has access to healthy food. Current estimates show that nearly 690 million people are hungry, or 8.9 percent of the world population - up by 10 million people in one year and by nearly 60 million in five years According to the World Food Program, 135 million suffer from acute hunger largely due to man-made conflicts, climate change, and economic downturns. The COVID-19 pandemic has doubled that number, putting an additional 130 million people at risk of suffering acute hunger. Conflict is a cause and consequence of hunger. In 2020, conflict was the primary driver of hunger for 99.1 million people in twenty-three countries .
Governments and nonprofit organizations work together in many countries to alleviate hunger and provide quality food to the citizens. Action Against Hunger and Rise Against Hunger are global humanitarian organizations that take decisive action against the causes and effects of hunger. They save the lives of malnourished children and ensure everyone can access clean water, food, training, and health care . Other organizations such as Global Empowerment Mission, World Central Kitchen Inc., Meals on Wheels, and local food banks provide food to people who need it but cannot afford to purchase it. Many religious organizations serve lunch and dinner to whoever visits them without charging a fee in many parts of the world.
As part of providing service to communities in food related initiatives, Lakshmi and I volunteer with Meals on Wheels, Atlanta from 2021. They have a kitchen where people cook and pack food for senior citizens who are unable to go to grocery stores and/or cook. We drive up to the center where volunteers load our car with boxes marked with the names of the people. We then drive in the Martin Luther King Drive and Cascade Avenue section of Atlanta and deliver food to citizens at their home. Some of our friends warned us that these may be dangerous areas to drive and deliver food, but we found that the people are kind and generous and much of the fear is unfounded. It is a great privilege to see the recipients face light up when we announce we are from Meals on Wheels and deliver the food.
We also volunteer at the Atlanta Women's Shelter where we make breakfast and serve to homeless women and children. We go to the shelter around 6.30 a.m. and help make items such as grits, biscuits, and scrambled eggs. We serve these to homeless women and their children from 8.30 a.m. along with milk, coffee, juice, water, etc. These women are so grateful to us for serving them and thank us for providing them such as delicious breakfast. We feel so grateful that we have been given an opportunity to serve these sisters and their children.
We also volunteer with Rise Against Hunger, an organization that targets remote, last-mile communities within hunger pockets designated "serious" or higher on the Global Hunger Index, which are the hardest places to reach and are often difficult to access, lack communication and have poor infrastructure. We help them pack food packets that contain nutrients, grain, dried bean, and minerals.
Due to my current interest in learning more about food, I have understood that it is important to figure out the food that suits me and provides me with the energy to perform my day-to-day activities. I have changed my diet completely and find that the change leads me to a more fulfilling life since I don't suffer from diseases related to obesity and diabetes. I have learned that it is important to learn to cook so that I can take care of my daily dietary needs. Eating each meal slowly and deliberately also helps me enjoy my food and helps with digestion.
Recently, my grandson asked me to bake a few chocolate banana muffins for him and I was delighted to do so. It came out fluffy and was delicious. It gave me great pleasure to cook and serve him. When his face lit up, my day became brighter.
I have evolved from not paying attention to what I ate to one who has a deeper appreciation for the food I eat, the people who make it possible for me to obtain it, the effort involved in making delicious dishes, and the difficulties many people face in obtaining quality food.
In the past I had not paid much attention to what I ate and that might have been the reason for my high blood sugar readings and weight gain. As I reflected on this, I realized the importance of food to my life, and I recalled how my perception of it has changed significantly from my childhood to my senior years.
Childhood
When I was a child in India during the 1950s, my mother had to feed a large family: her four sons and an equivalent number of relative's children who were residing with us. My dad was a magistrate (judge) in the towns where we lived. Given that the British ruled India and created the judicial cadre, the government assigned three servants to help a magistrate. This practice was followed in the 1960s even though India had gained independence. One of the servants helped my mom run the household. He would procure the vegetables needed for daily cooking and my mom would make fresh food each day.
The kitchen was old-fashioned and at the back of the house. There were no electrical appliances in the kitchen. The pots and pans were stored in a cabinet. A clay stove sat in one corner of the room right below a window. The stove was built-in, semi-circular in shape, had an opening at the bottom to insert the wood, and two projections on the side so that the pots could rest on them. My mom would start the fire by putting cow-dung cakes (made by mixing feces of cows with straw, laying them out as a circular cake on walls, and drying them) into it. Once the fire started, she would insert small wood chips and then larger pieces of wood to keep the stove burning. The servants' job was to procure the cow-dung cakes and wood from the market. Occasionally, my mom would pick cow dung from the streets, mix it with straw, and lay them on the wall of our house so that we could obtain cow-dung cakes. She would boil the milk, put a bit of yogurt (curd) in it, and then ferment it overnight. Once it turned into yogurt, she would then add water and salt to it and churn it thoroughly to make buttermilk.
We ate plenty of food: meals before going to school; snacks after returning from school, and dinner in the evening. My mom got up early in the morning to cook South Indian meals in the morning: rice, sambar (legumes such as toor or urad dal, water, vegetables, and tamarind mixture), rasam (legumes, tomatoes, or lemons), and one vegetable. She sat on the ground performing all these jobs and used a knife fixed on a wooden board to cut the vegetables. Given that she had only a single stove, each item had to be cooked, stored, and then the next item had to be cooked. It took her about two hours to cook the morning meal. We consumed large quantities of rice with each meal. Occasionally, she will fry papad (an Indian dough of black gram bean flour, either deep fried or cooked with dry heat until crunchy) to serve with the food. Even though she could have purchased papad from the store, she made the dough from scratch, rolled it into thin cakes, and then dried them in the sun. She made delicious food, and the aroma of the food would make us feel hungry as we got ready for school. Our role was to study, play, attend school, and eat the food.
Our meals consisted of eating rice with sambar, rasam, and buttermilk, with a little bit of vegetables on the side. She cooked the long-grain rice, and its aroma would permeate the house. My dad used to insist that the cooked rice should be white like the jasmine flower. It had to be cooked to such a level that it would mix well with the other items. The sambar would have a tangy taste due to the tamarind and the spices; cooked toor dal was put into it making it a little bit solid. When I used to mix the rice with sambar, it would result in a dark grey to reddish brown color. Rasam was a liquid mix, and you could smell the coriander and tomatoes. Sometimes, lemon would be used to make rasam and my dad used to drink it like a soup. When I mixed it with rice, the water would flow all over my plate and I had a difficult time scooping it up. Buttermilk mixed with rice would be white in color and would soothe down the stomach. Occasionally, we would eat a pickle along with that bringing more flavor and taste to the buttermilk rice mix. The cooked vegetable (such as eggplant, okra, or beans) would sit on the side of the plate waiting for me to eat it along with one of the three dishes.
When we returned from school, my mom made snacks such as idli (soft and steamy cake made with fermented rice and lentil batter), dosa (thin crepe made with fermented rice and lentil batter), or upma (semolina dish). To make the batter, she had to grind the ingredients on a stone grinder. A smooth grinder was at the bottom and another grinder with a handle was at the top. There was a hole in the middle with a wood or iron rod in the middle. You put the rice and urad dal through the hole in the top grinder, put water, and rotate the handle. The dough would form and then you had to take it and put it back and keep grinding until you get the right consistency. It took an hour to grind rice and the dal to make sufficient batter for the family. Then, it was fermented overnight before use. After we returned from playing outside, she cooked our dinner, which was like the morning meal.
The pots and pans were large and gathered soot at the bottom after each meal. If you turned off the stove, then you had to light it up again in the evening. The kitchens were dark places full of smoke, and the walls were black due to the soot. My mom had more than ten people to feed and was busy cooking food constantly. A servant came each morning to clean all the pots and pans and got my mom ready for the day's cooking.
We would sit on the floor with stainless steel plates in front of us and eat food with our fingers. My mom would serve food to each person and move onto the next. My elder brother, Murali, would eat very quickly and my mom had to rush to ensure that he got fed before he walked away. All of us ate quickly, never commented on the quality of the food that was cooked and took my mother's efforts for granted. None of us appreciated the amount of effort my mom put into making the delicious dishes each day with the limited amount of funds that were available. We also did not help her in doing the cleanup. Being a patriarchal society, housework was not expected of men or boys during the 1960s and we followed that pattern.
We were vegetarians and no eggs or meat were cooked in the home. The food had a major concentration of carbohydrates and limited protein. There was no refrigerator and the food had to be consumed the same day it was cooked. If there was any extra, it had to be either given away or thrown away.
The use of cashews or almonds was limited at home as these were expensive. Peanuts were available in plenty and were used a lot more in cooking. Our grandfather would periodically send rice, peanuts, and tamarind from the cultivated lands in our ancestral village. The quality of rice would vary from year to year depending on the kind of rice that was cultivated. We did not eat outside in restaurants and purchased snacks occasionally.
Our ability to purchase snacks occurred once a month when our father would give us a quarter Rupee if we behaved well. It was not easy getting this reward since we lived in small towns and any of our misbehaviors were promptly relayed to him by the local policeman when they met him in his office.
We would take the quarter Rupee and buy roasted nuts. The nut seller would be sitting on a raised platform with a coal stove where puffed rice would be roasted. He would mix it with salted peanuts and split peas. He would tear a quarter page from an old newspaper, roll it into a cone, and pour the mix into it and hand it to us. We used to eat it slowly savoring the taste. The crunchy rice would mix with the juicy peanut in our mouth creating a juicy, salty, sweet, and sticky taste that we would remember for some time.
My parents' knowledge about nutrition and organic food was limited. Our consumption of vegetables and fruits was limited since they were expensive. The grocery items were expensive and consumed at least half of the monthly budget for the household. When we traveled, we typically stayed in some relative's home and partook in their meals.
I was thin and underweight (about 75 pounds when I was fifteen) given that I ate a lot of carbs, commuted using bicycles, and played outside every day. We, the four boys, grew up without rudimentary knowledge about cooking and little appreciation for the effort involved in getting a well-cooked meal to the table.
College
I was admitted to the Regional Engineering college, Trichy, in 1966. Upon admission, all students had to weigh at least eighty pounds. This requirement was put in place since many of the engineering laboratories required the students to use heavy tools such as hammers, mallets, and others. The college wanted to ensure that the students could lift and use such weights. I weighed only seventy-seven pounds and had to eat a lot of bananas and other food to pass this requirement. There were many other students like me who were underweight due to lack of consuming nutritious food.
In this college, there were two hundred and fifty youth living in three dorms; there were two kinds of mess (cafeteria); one offered South Indian and the other North Indian food. I chose the South Indian cafeteria. Our principal kept a keen watch on the mess and ensured that we got high quality food at a subsidized rate.
Our morning classes started at 7 a.m., and ended at 9 a.m. All of us would rush from the laboratories to the cafeteria to have breakfast. Fast food items such as idli, dosai, pongal, or upma would be provided. There were no limits to how much we could eat, and we would compete to see who ate the most food. There were long benches with chairs put behind them. The food would be served on stainless steel plates. As the cafeteria accommodated only about fifty students, we had to line up behind somebody who was finishing their breakfast and take the seat even before the place was cleaned.
Mid-morning classes were held between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. and lunch would be served at that time. Typical lunch consisted of eating a mix of cooked rice with sambar, rasam, and butter milk, with a side dish of curries and pickles. Classes continued between 2 to 5 p.m. when we would return for a snack (called tiffin time). We would play outside and relax, and dinner would be served at 8 p.m. I relished the food and looked forward to what would be on the menu for the next day. Some of the students formed the mess (cafeteria) committee and decided on the menu for the week. I consumed a lot more vegetables and enjoyed the variety of foods that were offered.
The quality and quantity of food offered helped all of us become better built and healthier during our five-year stay on the campus. By the time I graduated in 1971, I had gained substantial weight (hundred and twenty pounds) and strength due to the good food and outdoor activities available at the College.
When I joined Indian Institute of Management Calcutta (Kolkata) during 1971, I had to get used to different kinds of food since it was in West Bengal, another state. They cooked food common in Eastern and North India. This included items such as toast, dal (watery lentil soup), chapati (roti), and rice. The food tasted different since they used different mixes of spices and oils. Fish was a staple diet in Kolkata and being brought up as a vegetarian, I did not want to try it. I got used to the rather bland food offered in the mess. A few friends and I would take a bus to go to South Kolkata where there were a few restaurants that offered items from the South Indian region. On the long-bus ride there, we would observe that it wasn't just the food that was different. The dress, the customs, and the rituals were also radically different in Kolkata from that of South India.
Some of my Bengali friends introduced us to Samosas, Puris, etc., that were available widely in road-side stalls. I was not used to cheese in South India, and it was a treat to eat the sweets made with cheese such as Rasa Gola, Sandesh, Chum Chum, etc. The road-side vendors would sell Pani Puri (called as Puchka) where they would give you a small puffed puri, break the top, and put in ingredients such as potato, onion, and sour tamarind water. We ate eight to ten at a time since they were so delicious. Another item available on the roadside was Samosa (Singada), which was a triangular flour pastry filled with potatoes, peas, lentils, and onions. Puri (called luchi) was another delicious food that was served with cooked dal. These were served hot and were tasty. The roadside stalls were not that hygienic, and I did not pay much attention to that aspect of food preparation and delivery.
Next to our institute, there was a dhaba (a road-side restaurant that served truck drivers). It used to serve delicious north-Indian food at subsidized rates and was open 24/7. The trucks would be parked on the side of the street, and the truck drivers would sleep, eat, and use the toilets. It was dirty, but the quality of food was good, and the prices were reasonable. Also, local liquor called Bangla was available and many of my friends used to drink it. I was afraid to try it and abstained from buying it. When I got tired of eating the bland food from the mess, I would frequent dhaba to eat the delicious curries and chapatis.
I worked in Kolkata after graduation and stayed in apartments with classmates. Since none of us knew how to cook, we used to eat out in restaurants regularly. I assumed that cooking was a difficult chore and did not prepare my own food. Eating out led to consuming unhealthy foods and paying unaffordable prices for them.
One of my friends, Kasi, introduced me to a family who had migrated from South India and were living at Kolkata. The three daughters in that family were gregarious and outgoing people. Their father had passed away and their mother was dependent on them for running the household. I spent many evenings at their home playing carroms, discussing books, and eating the amazing food offered by their mom. Their cousin Lakshmi would visit their apartment and would hang out with us. I also visited Lakshmi's apartment which was nearby, and her mom would lavish a lot of affection and offered delicious food to eat whenever I visited them. Given that I was away from home and eating sub-standard food in restaurants, this was a welcome change.
In the course of time, Lakshmi and I fell in love, and we got married in March 1977. It was expensive to rent apartments in South Kolkata and I moved closer to my institute at a place called Thakurpukur, during January. There were no South Indian restaurants nearby and I had to figure out what to do about my meals. Fortunately for me, a colleague from South India, lived nearby and was a good cook. I used to buy vegetables and assist him in cooking. He made delicious food, and we shared the expenses. This changed once Lakshmi and I got married and she came to live with me in March. Her parents got her the necessary pots and pans and set up our house. We walked up to the local market to buy vegetables and groceries each day. The vendors would sit on gunny sacks and would sell fresh vegetables and fruits. We would take a bag with us, negotiate with the vendors, and buy vegetables needed for the day. As was traditional in Indian culture, Lakshmi prepared good South Indian dishes, took care of the kitchen, and I did not help. My bachelor days of scrounging for good food were over.
Northeast USA
I came to Philadelphia to pursue my Ph.D. from the University of Pennsylvania in August 1977. Lakshmi did not accompany me since it was unaffordable, and she was pursuing her master's program. I did not have sufficient funds to go to restaurants; therefore, I had to cook. One of my friends helped me buy a few pots and pans and I started to cook - very rudimentary dishes such as rice, sambar, and curry. I did not have any recipe books and did not feel that it was manly to ask my mom or wife for recipes. I did not even know the kinds of dried beans that I needed to buy from the stores to make traditional South Indian dishes. I spent as little time as possible cooking, and the result was terrible; the food was half-burnt and tasteless. The chapati would be hard as a rock and difficult to tear. The sambar would be watery with unevenly cut vegetables floating on them and the beans would stay at the bottom uncooked. I would buy Sour Cream from the supermarket thinking it was yogurt and mix it with rice resulting in a thick and sour rice. I would keep them in the refrigerator for days and eat them after reheating them. As I had to survive on this food for nine months, I slowly improvised and improved my cooking abilities.
Occasionally, a few of my Indian friends and their wives came to my apartment and partook of the dinner. Even though my cooking was below standard, they relished it since their cooking abilities were also rudimentary. This period made me appreciate the amount of effort involved in obtaining quality ingredients, cooking food, and consuming it.
Lakshmi joined me in Philadelphia in May 1978 after finishing her master's program. When she arrived after her forty-hours of flight, I had prepared traditional South Indian lunch, she relished eating it and commented that it was of reasonable quality.
We obtained vegetables from the nearby Acme store, or from the Italian Market in South Philadelphia. In contrast to India, we were surprised to see the variety of vegetables and fruits available at reasonable prices in the USA. There were two small Indian stores near the campus and that helped us get our Indian spices, rich, toor dal, urad dal, and vegetables.
Lakshmi grew up in a family of foodies. She took efforts to cook delicious South and North Indian food. After a few years, my mom and her mom visited us in the USA leading to preparation of mouth-watering dishes. All I had to do was to consume the amazing food and appreciate the people who spent time making those dishes.
During the 1980s, my brother, Murali, his wife, Uma, and their two children lived near us. We would meet on weekends and the ladies would cook delicious food for their husbands and four children. When we went for a walk and returned, I used to smell the aroma of the Indian masala and curries before even entering the house. My job was desk-bound, and I did not perform rigorous exercise. I also consumed Indian sweets and began enjoying the US desserts such as ice cream, cakes, and pies. Consuming such high-calorie diets led to obesity (weighing 180 pounds) and its attendant diseases - blood pressure and diabetes as I turned 40.
My work at AT&T Bell Laboratories, New Jersey, during 1985 to 1989 taught me a lot about American food habits and business practices. I was the engineering liaison and traveled to meet customers along with our marketing team.
Chris, my marketing manager, had company credit cards that he would use to charge for dinners, and he had a little black book that he would use to identify Michelin-rated restaurants when we traveled. These were high-priced restaurants where one had to wear a suit to enter. Occasionally, I would not know the protocol and wore casual dress; the waiter would give me a suit that they had for such customers. I had a difficult time understanding the menu items as they had esoteric names and frequently, the only vegetarian option would be a salad. The wine and drink lists were exhaustive, and Chris would coach me about the wines and flavors. Frequently, the server would frown at me since he/she had not heard of many clients who wanted a vegetarian option in these restaurants during the 1980s.
The company also offered courses on how to dine well and it helped me adapt to the rigors of social dining. Many clients from the Fortune 100 companies wanted to feel comfortable with the sales and engineering team before they parted with millions of dollars for a product or service. The eating-out in expensive restaurants and playing golf cemented many business deals.
Once, we were in Houston on a business trip, and Chris booked a table in a seafood restaurant for dinner. He was busy cracking clams and eating them, whereas I was eating salads.
Chris: Chetan, how is your dinner?
Me: Ok. In the salad, they put too much lettuce and very little other vegetables. The salad dressing makes it eatable, but not very tasty. You know I like hot vegetarian food for dinner. How is yours?
Chris: It is delicious. Amazing food. Cracking open these clams is a challenge. It smells so great, fresh, and salty. I can feast on them all through this evening. You should try some.
We kept this up for three days. On the fourth day, when we were planning our dinner, I told him: "Hi, Chris, I need a break. I have been eating salad for three days and I need a hot meal."
Chris: What do you want to do?
Me: I will go to a pizza restaurant.
Chris: Please go ahead; I would go to the seafood place where I have a reservation.
We drove separately to our restaurants. In the 1980s, there were few Indian restaurants and I had to settle for a pizza dinner. It was lonely to order the dinner by myself and eat it; but it was hot, tasty, and I felt a lot better.
I learned a lot about table manners, eating protocols in expensive restaurants, and other important social tips from Chris. He told me that when we had to meet an important client for dinner, it was important that we were not hungry. If needed, he told me to eat something before dinner. He talked about how clients could get turned off quickly and the need to keep proper decorum during the dinner. This experience helped me a lot in the future in dealing with clients in other settings. I realized the value of food in bonding relationships and making people feel comfortable with each other.
Chris and I got along well, and he requested me to travel with him to client sites so that I can address the technical issues. I was excited to stay in five-star hotels, fly in comfort, eat in great restaurants, and rent cars at all the sites. The company gave me a credit card and I would charge all my expenses to the card. The meeting with the clients was stressful. They were paying millions of dollars to AT&T and expected us to be at the site whenever a problem developed. Frequently, our visit was not that essential since the problem could be solved by phone; but the client wanted to feel important and expected us to be at the site. As I performed this task for a few years, I missed several of our children's school activities. I felt that I was missing performing research on new information technologies and wasting my time placating rich clients whose demands seemed to be unreasonable. I did not want to spend my working life catering to the whims and fancies of these clients. In addition, there was intense competition among the project team members since all of us aspired to climb to the next higher position. I decided that climbing the corporate ladder was not my mission in life, even though the financial rewards were enticing.
Southeast USA
I felt an urge to change back to academics where I could pursue research projects, teach young students, lead a simpler life, and spend time with the family. I joined as an Assistant Professor at Auburn University, Alabama in 1989. This was a completely different experience. What I charged as travel expenses for a year at AT&T was the same amount that was spent by the thirty faculty members in the Management department to travel in a year. Faculty members and administrators were on a tight budget and eating out at high-priced restaurants at university expense was not common. When we traveled to conferences, the travel budget did not cover the expenses and faculty would share hotel rooms.
The best restaurant in Auburn at that time was the dining room at the University hotel and conference center. In addition, no alcohol was served on Sundays in any restaurant due to it being in the Bible Belt. Many faculty and students were from rural parts of the South, and they frequented the popular southern restaurants or brought lunch from home. It took me a year to get adjusted to the new reality of a restricted travel budget, but it was compensated for by the time I spent with my family. We were nine-month employees and had to teach extra courses to make a salary during the summer. I did not teach during the summers until my children left for college, thereby spending valuable time with them. The South is blessed with many parks and lakes where it is easy to reserve a campsite. During the summers, we camped in state parks and cooked our meals on propane stoves. This brought back memories of my childhood and our family bonded together during these sojourns as we worked together to make the camping experience a memorable event.
In Auburn, I experienced the culture of southern food, such as fried okra, kale, fried green tomatoes, or artichoke. The vegetables and fruits available were local and we were not able to get the Indian vegetables such as banana blossoms, taro root, Indian eggplant, green bananas, ash gourd, calabash coriander, etc.
Some of our friends told us that there were a few Indian grocery stores in Decatur, Georgia, about hundred miles from Auburn. We went there every month to get our Indian groceries. In addition, we shopped in the Dekalb Farmers Market that was just a mile away from the Indian stores. It was a large indoor market, the size of three football fields. Vegetables and fruits from around the world were sold in the right half of the store. Cheese, delicacies, desserts, bread, yogurt, and other frozen items were sold in the left half of the store. We found it to be busy at all times of the year; it was a favorite of those who preferred fresh vegetables and fruits. The cashiers would be from India or Africa, and we appreciated the international flavor of this market. I enjoyed these day trips to Atlanta and became more familiar with Decatur and its environment as we were there once a month for our food shopping.
There were about 30 to 40 Indian families at Auburn during the 1990s; most of them either worked at Auburn University or at Tuskegee University, a HBCU, about 20 miles away. They had formed an Indian Association, and we were part of that group. We mixed with Indians from different parts of the country; in addition, we formed friendships with the local people.
Whenever we visited restaurants at Auburn, our choices were limited to two or three items. We found that in Mexican restaurants we can obtain good dishes without meat. We started going to them whenever we ate out, which was rare by itself. Being a vegetarian in the USA was a difficult experience for us since the options were limited and it was unusual in the Deep South. Therefore, we gave freedom to our children to choose what they chose to eat, although Lakshmi only cooked vegetarian dishes at home.
Our food habits stayed constant during our careers. Only variation was the lunch: whether it was a sandwich, fruits, or some Indian snack item such as idli or dosa. We slowly substituted 0% milk for whole milk and adopted the use of healthy cereals during breakfast.
My mom or Lakshmi never asked me to cook or assist them. They did not expect their husbands or children to help cook or clean the dishes. Whenever I needed to cook, I prepared food in the least amount of time, in copious quantities, and with little care. Most of the food had to be thrown away since it was unappetizing.
In 1995, Lakshmi was in India visiting her family for a month. My children were teenagers at the time, and Akila did not relish the food I prepared.
"Dad, when you go to the supermarket, buy vegetables, and cut them. I will cook."
I asked, "Why, Akila?"
She replied, "I will make better dishes, Dad."
Akila made a menu for each day and ensured that we ate well during Lakshmi's absence. She took a lot of interest in cooking and made novel dishes. After her marriage in 2001, she would invite us to Thanksgiving and/or Christmas lunch/ dinners and made dishes from around the world.
My appreciation for food deepened when I participated as a faculty member in the Food Systems Institute at Auburn University during the 2000s. A serious problem facing the fishing industry was that customers wanted to know where it was caught but were not able to do so. This was important since occasionally toxic spills happened in the ocean and people did not want to eat fish from that region. We experimented with different information systems and were not able to find a good system given the budget constraints. This project gave me a heightened awareness of the difficulties in acquiring, transporting, distributing, and consuming food items.
Truffle Hunting in Italy
In 2012, my daughter Akila and her husband Patrick were traveling in the Tuscan region of Italy and invited me to join them. I visited with them, and they had booked a truffle hunting tour in that region . I was not sure what it was but accompanied them. We drove for a while and stopped at a local expert's house. Akila talked to him about truffles.
He said, "Truffles are mushrooms that grow underground in forests. They're shaped like small, unsymmetrical balls and can be found by digging, especially near tree roots. It's kind of like an intense mushroom but without the pungency that most mushrooms have, a little bit sweeter, and stronger but more delicate all at the same time. Are you ready for the hunt?"
Akila said, "Yes, we are ready. Truffles are expensive and are pricey in the USA. We pay $5 to $300 per ounce."
He said, "Yes, it is not easy to find them. They only grow in one season, and you need a trained dog to smell the truffle and help me dig it. You would see this in action."
We followed the truffle hunter and his dog through the woods in a nearby forest as the dog scanned under the forest floor. The dog smelled the truffle and ran to dig and eat it. He restrained it and dug it out. We spent an hour hunting for a few truffles through the mountainside. I was surprised that one would spend so much time hunting for a few truffles when other kinds of mushrooms are available.
We returned to his house, and I had a surprise. Akila had talked to him earlier and his wife had prepared three-course meals where truffle was used in every dish. She prepared us a sensational truffle meal, ranging from a cheese course with pastry stuffed with cheese, a white bean soup, gnocchi, a cheese popover, omelet, and apple pastry, all with shaved truffles on top. The aroma and taste of each dish was exquisite, and it was an unforgettable experience. I started to appreciate the amount of effort involved in preparing appetizing meals.
Akila's interest in food continued and became so important to her that she started a company called "Unexpected Atlanta," which offers food and history tours in Atlanta. Now, she has created virtual tours for companies where she combines food and history to create a compelling story. She taught me that good food is integral to every civilization and plays a major role in history and politics.
Learning to Cook After Retirement
After I retired in 2016, I spent a few months in New Jersey where our grandson Kian was born. Lakshmi was working and was not able to accompany me. Since I had time, I used to cook Indian dishes using online recipes. My son, Shiv, and daughter-in-law, Deepa, enjoyed the dishes and encouraged me in my efforts to learn cooking. Deepa praised my sambar and used to relish having it. She also taught me how to make a few baked items, such as banana bread. I found that cooking required concentrated effort and time like what I used to spend on my research. I cooked often in their apartment and thereby improved my cooking ability. Now, my family raves about some of the dishes I prepare. I have enjoyed making new dishes. When I put effort to make good dishes, I find that I could make dishes that are comparable in quality to those prepared by Lakshmi or her mom. I also help with cleanup after cooking.
When I was young, I was told to leave a clean plate; never waste food. As I have grown older, I see the folly of it. If you are full, do not eat any more. The extra food gives your digestive system additional work, and it is not worth it. In addition, one needs to spend sufficient time chewing and eating food and not rushing through it.
Controlling my Diabetes by Changing my Diet
Eating has its own risks and rewards; I have realized that we must be deliberate in what we eat . After my heart bypass surgery and its aftermath, I struggled to pass stools and was constipated for a couple of days. Our ability to urinate and pass stools is directly connected to what we eat or drink.
After the NDE, I was allowed to eat food in smaller quantities until my GI tract was healed and able to digest the food. Before my surgery, I had a small potbelly from years of overeating and lack of adequate exercise. One good thing that came out of eating small portion sizes after the NDE was that I lost my potbelly (weighed 150 pounds) and had to buy clothes that were one size smaller.
We met with an endocrinologist after my recovery. He recommended that we meet with his nutritionist. We discussed our food habits and discovered that we eat a carb-heavy diet since our staple food is rice. Even though we intended to add more protein to our diet, it was only to a limited extent. Talking to her, we found out that we could purchase protein-rich milk, tofu, cheese, eggs, grains such as millet, quinoa, wild rice, and other products and lessen the consumption of rice and its associated products. She also told me to eat more salads and limit consumption of fruits, that too those with a high sugar content.
The doctor also prescribed a continuous monitoring system for my blood sugar and put me on medication. He set alarms on the monitoring system so that if I ate the wrong kinds of food, it would beep. For a year, I kept electronic diaries of what I ate for each meal and then took readings of my blood sugar two hours after eating any meal. This helped me identify foods that suited me and the food that increased my blood sugar. I was diligent and reduced my A1/C readings (between 6 and 7) within six months.
A dish that I enjoyed eating was idlis (a soft and fluffy cake made with fermented rice and lentil batter) since it was a healthy South Indian food. With the continuous monitoring system, I noticed that my blood sugar read in the 270 range after eating them. Even eating dosa (a thin crepe made with same batter as idli) increased my sugar reading to above 200. We added cheese to the dosa and then my readings came to less than 180. I also found that eating any kind of rice increased my sugar readings to above 200. I had to desist from eating rice or idli and confine myself to eating chapati (that too particular brands).
I was surprised to find that milk and other dairy products contain enough sugar to hike up my blood sugar readings. I had to purchase protein-rich milk products and Greek yogurt so that it was kept under control.
It was my normal practice to eat fruit for lunch. I found that the sugar readings would go up and had to substitute it with salads, even though it does not taste sweet. Having done this extensive research study, Lakshmi and I have now identified food that suits me and restrict ourselves to those diets. Lakshmi has been a great helper in experimenting with the new diets and ensuring that my blood sugar is under control. Due to better diet management, I am taking a lot less medicines to control my blood sugar and keep it under 200 most of the time. My A1/C has also reduced to 6.1 thereby relieving me from the stress of contracting diabetes related diseases.
I have a sweet tooth. If sweets are around, I would find a reason to grab them. When my granddaughters saw me do this, they drew pictures of ice cream, pie, and other sweet dishes and gave them to me. They told me to look at them and salivate, instead of eating the desserts. I have put these pictures on the back of my translucent phone cover. When I look at a delicious, sweet dish, and am tempted to eat it, I look at the picture on the back of the phone and desist from eating it. I find this to be very helpful in controlling the impulses of my sweet tooth.
Earlier, I was reluctant to talk about my blood sugar issues; now, I share this information with my family and friends. I also tell them that the food that suits me might not suit them. It is important to experiment and identify the food that keeps one's blood sugar under control.
Studies show that 537 million adults in the world have diabetes and three in four of them live in low and middle-income countries. 48.8% of Americans over the age of 65 have diabetes or pre-diabetes. Diabetes is notorious for causing health complications throughout the body from vision and kidney failure to stroke, heart disease, and amputations . I know of a few relatives who are suffering from severe diabetes related health issues, but they are reluctant to modify their food habits, exercise, and change their lifestyle. They rely on medicine alone and that is not sufficient to address this difficult disease. My experience is that food habits must change drastically in addition to taking appropriate medicine, performing exercise, and following other healthy habits.
Helping Others
Not everybody has access to healthy food. Current estimates show that nearly 690 million people are hungry, or 8.9 percent of the world population - up by 10 million people in one year and by nearly 60 million in five years According to the World Food Program, 135 million suffer from acute hunger largely due to man-made conflicts, climate change, and economic downturns. The COVID-19 pandemic has doubled that number, putting an additional 130 million people at risk of suffering acute hunger. Conflict is a cause and consequence of hunger. In 2020, conflict was the primary driver of hunger for 99.1 million people in twenty-three countries .
Governments and nonprofit organizations work together in many countries to alleviate hunger and provide quality food to the citizens. Action Against Hunger and Rise Against Hunger are global humanitarian organizations that take decisive action against the causes and effects of hunger. They save the lives of malnourished children and ensure everyone can access clean water, food, training, and health care . Other organizations such as Global Empowerment Mission, World Central Kitchen Inc., Meals on Wheels, and local food banks provide food to people who need it but cannot afford to purchase it. Many religious organizations serve lunch and dinner to whoever visits them without charging a fee in many parts of the world.
As part of providing service to communities in food related initiatives, Lakshmi and I volunteer with Meals on Wheels, Atlanta from 2021. They have a kitchen where people cook and pack food for senior citizens who are unable to go to grocery stores and/or cook. We drive up to the center where volunteers load our car with boxes marked with the names of the people. We then drive in the Martin Luther King Drive and Cascade Avenue section of Atlanta and deliver food to citizens at their home. Some of our friends warned us that these may be dangerous areas to drive and deliver food, but we found that the people are kind and generous and much of the fear is unfounded. It is a great privilege to see the recipients face light up when we announce we are from Meals on Wheels and deliver the food.
We also volunteer at the Atlanta Women's Shelter where we make breakfast and serve to homeless women and children. We go to the shelter around 6.30 a.m. and help make items such as grits, biscuits, and scrambled eggs. We serve these to homeless women and their children from 8.30 a.m. along with milk, coffee, juice, water, etc. These women are so grateful to us for serving them and thank us for providing them such as delicious breakfast. We feel so grateful that we have been given an opportunity to serve these sisters and their children.
We also volunteer with Rise Against Hunger, an organization that targets remote, last-mile communities within hunger pockets designated "serious" or higher on the Global Hunger Index, which are the hardest places to reach and are often difficult to access, lack communication and have poor infrastructure. We help them pack food packets that contain nutrients, grain, dried bean, and minerals.
Due to my current interest in learning more about food, I have understood that it is important to figure out the food that suits me and provides me with the energy to perform my day-to-day activities. I have changed my diet completely and find that the change leads me to a more fulfilling life since I don't suffer from diseases related to obesity and diabetes. I have learned that it is important to learn to cook so that I can take care of my daily dietary needs. Eating each meal slowly and deliberately also helps me enjoy my food and helps with digestion.
Recently, my grandson asked me to bake a few chocolate banana muffins for him and I was delighted to do so. It came out fluffy and was delicious. It gave me great pleasure to cook and serve him. When his face lit up, my day became brighter.
I have evolved from not paying attention to what I ate to one who has a deeper appreciation for the food I eat, the people who make it possible for me to obtain it, the effort involved in making delicious dishes, and the difficulties many people face in obtaining quality food.
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