Understanding Middle Child Syndrome
Middle Child Syndrome explains the probable features and hardships that the middle child of the family faces. It tells us that middle born children show few behavior traits and encounter certain tough situations because of their birth order.
Various Characteristics of Middle Child Syndrome include:
1.Mediator: Most of the time, these children have to act as mediators to ensure peace, so as to avoid fights by maintaining harmony in the family.
2. Tactful: They have to be mindful and tactful to know the mindset of every member of the family and locate the varying perspective of every family member.
3. Adjustable: These children often adjust and adapt as per the situation, time and circumstances.
4.Non-Dependence: They are self-reliant and are quite independent. This is so because no member in the family pays much attention towards them. They don’t get the required guidance as compared to the elder and younger siblings. This is what makes them self-sufficient
5. Extrovert: It is found out that the middle born child is social and interactive with great bonding with friends and family.
Is Middle Child Syndrome Real or a Mental Health Disorder?
Middle Child Syndrome doesn’t have a medical diagnosis nor a disorder. It is just used to tell the tentative features and the hardships that have to be endured by the middle -born child of the family.
There are various outcomes of being the middle -born child:
1. Feeling of ignorance: These children often have a feeling that the elder child gets more attention or the parents adore the youngest child as the ‘little one’ of the family.
2. Resolving Conflict: These children tend to solve the conflicts between the elder and younger siblings which makes them socially adept and emotionally intelligent.
3. Feeling of Isolation: Many times these children feel that the family culture and their personality does not match.
Can Birth Order Affect Personality
1. Firstborn
Firstborn children are responsible, lead by example and conduct in a very structured way. They are sensible and try to do everything to the best of their capacity.
2. Mid-born
They have to win everybody’s heart around, also a little bit aggressive and the ones to ensure peace. However life for them is not very easy since they have to act as a role model for the younger sibling and adhere to the rules and regulations of the elder one. This makes them wonder about their role in the family.
3. Lastborn
The children are carefree, unbothered and jolly. They often get a lot of attention and pampering both from parents and elder siblings. But, they are under supervision most of the time.
These are general human facets and may not fit every individual. Apart from birth order there are various other factors that shape the personality of an individual.
Psychology behind Middle Child Syndrome
According to the theory of “Middle Child Syndrome “ , middle children frequently feel overlooked or unappreciated in comparison to their siblings. Psychologically, it can result from a number of things, including the dynamics of birth order, how parents allocate their attention, and how families are viewed. Middle children may feel unnoticed or struggle to establish their position in the family structure, which can cause them to feel insecure or frustrated. It must be noted that not all middle children have this syndrome , and that the dynamics of each household have a big impact on how birth order influences psychological development.
How Does Middle Child Syndrome Affect Relationships?
1. Attention Seeker
Middle children become used to seeking external validation, which can in turn have an influence on their relationships with family members. They seek validation from peer groups, teachers , love partners or through academic achievements.
2. Independent
Being ignored by the family, a child becomes independent and self-reliant. Even though being independent is a good quality, it can make them stubborn, hard hearted and they may not trust others in any relationship.
3. Differentiated Role
Middle children have the tendency to easily adapt in societal situations because they know how to handle different roles as well. This makes them empathetic and understanding towards others which enhances the quality of their relationships.
Can you Prevent your Child from Developing Middle Child Syndrome?
Though middle child syndrome may not be completely prevented, since for parents all children are twinkle in their eyes, it may however be minimised. Parents, at their end must ensure the children that all of them are equal for them and they love and care for them equally. Parents should talk and make healthy discussions with their children about how they feel and what their thoughts are. If children talk of favouritism it is the duty of the parent to provide them the required reassurance.
Parents must spend quality time with the children and both the parents should give equal importance and attention to each child. No two humans in this world are the same, parents must cherish the individual differences of every child . Emphasis should be given to unique traits and strengths of each child. It is important to celebrate the achievements of every child, no matter how small.
One thing that lowers the self esteem of any child is comparison. Do not compare one child to another, especially in front of them. This might affect their self respect and also the bond among siblings as they may then disgrace each other in times of conflict.
Parents should focus on conducting activities that may bring the children together. With collective participation they get to know how to support and encourage each other. This makes them appreciate and acknowledge the achievements of one another.
Try to create a sense of unity in the family by actively participating in the children’s decision making process. Encourage children to cooperate with each other, have respect and act as a team.
6 Self-Help Tips and Tricks for the Middle -Born Children
1)Self-expression: Do not hesitate to convey your feelings and wants to the family members. If you don’t feel like speaking about your feelings to anyone, you may switch to other ways of self expression such as maintaining a journal, engaging in a hobby or communicating with a friend or therapist.
2) Create a happy spot: It’s important to take time for yourself and just be by yourself to be at peace and relax. It may be a specific spot at home , your room or going outdoors. Being at your happy place can make a lot of difference.
3) Celebrate your wins: Even if nobody else does, celebrate your achievements yourself by giving yourself a treat. Be proud of yourself and keep working towards your goals.
Make connections: It is important to make healthy relationships outside family, either with friends or teachers. Make connections with those who uplift your spirits , provide you assistance and where you feel belonged.
4) Practice Self-love: It is very essential to be kind and true to your own self. It’s ok to low sometimes, all humans do. Feelings of insecurity may happen to anyone and that’s ok. Treat yourself with the same love and empathy that you would offer to others.