What’s Death?

        They say that death is when a heart stops pumping blood around your body, but what is life when the very blood that is supposed to be life-giving is void of any love that could warm and console it, void of any feeling of security to keep it pumping, void of any reminder to even live a life worth living?  Every beat of your heart would only remind you that the life you're living is lifeless, that all your actions beat to the drum of death itself.

           Many may define death as living in shame, guilt, and the judgments of others. Still, she wasn't convinced, so she kept on searching for the answer. It was only until one day when she had been haunted by the past's ghost that she noticed that she had experienced death over the years.

 Her first encounter with death was when she endured harassment from those she had trusted most as a child. Her second encounter with death was when she succumbed to the addiction of love and attention-seeking; this is when she had started to lie. During those moments of seeking, she would get high with a love that she never knew. Like cocaine, it only lasted for a moment, and soon afterward, she would always feel haunted with guilt & resented herself. Her third encounter with death was when she tried to make things right and fight her addiction. During this battle that lasted for almost 4 years, she was able to overcome her disease, but the guilt grew ever bigger seeing that she had lost those who truly cared about her.

Her fourth encounter was when an old page of the past knocked on the door of her present. This time, she chose to speak, but she was accused of lying for speaking the truth this time.

There it was: she had fully understood that she had already been dead & that her body was running on an artificial hope that the world is a beautiful place.