Growing up was like most kids the basic for the most part. I knew that babysitters where often and usually not anyone other then who we as kids called uncle or Jenkins. who where no one important other then drinking buddies and ok close enough to myself to grow up knowing no different other then they were family. I grew hateful and angry, feeding the anger so much-that it has been the biggest lesson in life. One that one cant ever take back or change and will forever hold it, making it to close .

Fu** you i hate you i hope you die?..

How would that sit if looking in on my life and heard me say this to my Mother? Like you are that inner child at the toy dollhouse and the mom and child you have just became a live Jerry springer right before your eyes.

Yea a lot of individuals will gasp and others will be shocked and please never in my whole life, as messed up as the roads and dang side roads had become, these feet have walked through phew unimaginable things.

Did I have thoughts of hurting my mother yes I even admitted my self into the hospital for homicidal thoughts and went as far with it to, Well I just couldn't and would not. This is what I would do. Would I pay her the 100$ maybe 200$ and then knowing she's going to sleep sneak back in to her apartment and get Half of that back? Oh yes I would and play dumb as we take a hit of the crack I just scored for her. ( 3/17/2017 ) sobriety date for everyone already pre judging now that drugs are mentioned please take note that sadly drugs played a huge part in my life and have forever changed my life for good and bad. So lesson was when I went to call my mom to say sorry she had already passed an hour prior. I never can say sorry in person or well nothing she is gone. So don't say what you you can't take back or erase you never know the impact it can have.

All things spoke in my writings are real and factual I lived through it I did it or I seen and been around it.