It was so blissful at first, like the first time we met; that fire was burning until now. Five years after our marriage, what happened, I couldn't explain. He no longer talks to me, and I no longer share my secrets with him. He used to be my friend, my brother, my everything, but now... we are so far from each other. We have a little boy together, and his face reminds me all the time of my husband. He's the reason I'm still with him despite his negligence towards me.
On a fine evening, I had served dinner and called him to the table. He came downstairs, sat quietly, and ate. I managed to take a few bites from my food. He broke the silence... "I want a divorce." Yeah, I knew this day was eventually going to come; I didn't feel angry. "Why?" He looked away and muttered a few words I couldn't make out. That silence alone angered me. I didn't know when tears dropped from my eyes. I tossed the food aside and wept bitterly.
(Jasper's POV) I knew it was going to hurt her, but I needed to do it anyway. We no longer shared the love we used to. We were no longer intimate; she was far from me, and I didn't love her. But I didn't know why I felt so sad. It's going to end; it needs to end real quick. I didn't speak to her the very next morning; I just picked up my keys and left the premises to my office. A smile appeared on my face as I saw the woman I was presently seeing. She was so dazzling in the bright blue gown she was wearing.
"Have you told her?" she asked after she had hugged me. "Yes," I replied almost immediately with a smile. "Oh good, I can't wait for both of you to be separated." "Me too," I said. She pecked me and walked away. I started my business for the day and got really busy. I retired home late and met my wife busy on a piece of paper; I ignored her and went straight to our room.
The following morning, I saw her still writing; it was totally none of my business. I didn't want to get involved with her anymore. When I was set for work, she stopped me as I tried to leave. "Wait," I stopped and turned to look at her. "I've agreed to our divorce." "Oh, that's great. So...?" "I've got this for you," she handed me a piece of paper. I read through it, and it was absurd. "What the hell is this?" "It's a condition before our divorce." "A one-month condition? Come on; this is completely rubbish." "Do you want this divorce or not?" "Taking you up every morning? Now that's crazy." "Call it crazy, but it's completely necessary. Please do it for our son's sake." She looked so innocent in her request; I didn't know when I said yes, but I did.
I got to the office and told Jane about the agreement. She laughed over it like it meant nothing. That gave me a sign of relief. The following morning was our first day of the agreement. She got dressed for work, and I got ready. "You remember the times you used to carry me in bridal style, especially on our wedding night? I want you to carry me like that till the end of the month." I just nodded my head and went ahead to carry her. We were so clumsy; we almost fell. I found our son standing at the door, clapping his hands and singing out loud, laughing. "Dad's carrying mom in his hands." He was so excited talking about it; it really got me sad. "Don't tell him about our divorce," she whispered to me. I nodded in agreement, and we clumsily went downstairs, through the sitting room, and outside. She waited for a bus while I got into my car and left.
Honestly, for a while, my wife and I had not had body contact, and it felt new for me. I stayed with Jane all day; we talked a lot, more about my divorce.
The following day was much better than the previous day; we maintained our balance and made it to the stairs. As I alighted from the stairs, I noticed she was getting old; she had spent her youthful days with me, and I'd failed to realize that our marriage had taken a toll on her. She had grown some faint wrinkles, and her hair was grey. I could tell as she crossed her two hands across my neck. I felt intimate with her, but I waved it away. I didn't want to change my mind at the last moment. I didn't tell Jane about what I was beginning to feel; it might hurt her.
As we continued, it became easy for me and my son it's now part of his life. One of the mornings while trying to dress up, I found out she is indecisive about what to wear, and I got to know she has gotten thinner, making all the clothes too big for her. "Wow! I haven't noticed," I had muttered to myself. She is thinner than the times we spent together. She finally found something to put on, and there was our son at the door, smiling. "Oh, Dad, it's time to carry Mom out," he is so happy saying so. I could see the weariness on my wife's face. She beckoned on him to come, and she hugged him and wept silently. I took her in my arms again and noticed she isn't heavy at all, and it's beginning to feel normal for me. I walked slowly down the stairs. I don't know why, but I feel so bad and awkward.
I got to the door but found it hard to let her down. I had wandered away. I stared at her; she's been quiet for a while. As she stared, I looked into her eyes and saw she didn't change, only that she no longer smiles broadly. I stared awhile and found it hard to still... let her down, but I did slowly. I watched her walk through the gates. "What's wrong?" my son has been looking at me; I don't know how long, but that smile of his, his innocence makes me feel awkward even more. I dropped him at school, but before he could get down, he turned to me. "I love the way you hold Mom; it's been a while I saw you both that way." He kissed me and exited my car. Those words touched me so bad.
I got to my office and didn't feel like having Jane around... But no!! I have to fight this; this isn't going to happen. No way! I pushed those thoughts away and spent the day with Jane...
The feeling I felt while returning home that day was different from other days. I went home very excited and happy. When I saw that day after work, I had an awkward feeling. She may have gone thinner, but it didn't change her; she is still as beautiful as the first time I had met her. She is preparing the table for dinner; despite our present situation, I still ate her food. She saw me and smiled; I got upstairs. I returned after 15 minutes, after our son was done eating. She was waiting for me to get down. I sat at my chair and watched her for a while; she was itching to say something. "What happened to us?" she finally asked. I don't have the answer; I just went ahead to eat. She cried quietly. "Jasper," she called softly. "Remember those days we promised to be together forever. I guess our love isn't as strong as we had thought." I dropped my spoon and wanted to walk away. "Is she more beautiful? Enduring? And more intimate? Am sorry I didn't give you those things, but what about for our son's sake?" I turned to her. Even in her distressed mode, she is still as beautiful... Why am I having this thought at this point? It's just a day to our divorce; I can't start feeling or falling in love with her again.
"Jasper," she called, but I walked out. She followed me into the kitchen. "Please speak to me." I don't want to talk to her or even look at her. "Jasper, please," her soft voice pierced my heart. I walked through the door, but... something is wrong... I turned to her, and she appeared dizzy. I caught her before she could fall. What has happened to her? I took her gently upstairs and laid her softly on her bed; she opened her eyes. I wanted to leave, but she caught my hand. "Please, Jasper, maybe for just this night, stay with me." There wasn't any hesitation from the me; I just stayed with her. I watched her fall asleep and unconsciously touched her face. There and then, I knew I still loved my wife.
The next morning, the final day. When we are ready, as always, I took her in my arms, but I was unable to move. "I can't believe this happened to us; I can't find myself doing it anymore." "I think it's pity; an agreement is an agreement; let's just end this." For the first time, I fought with tears. When we got to the door, I gently brought her down, but couldn't let her go. She looked at me, straight to my eyes, and smiled, pulling me softly away. I watched her leave.
I got to the office and saw Jane all smiling. I pulled her aside. "Hey, Jasper, what's wrong?"
... "I won't be divorcing my wife anymore," I said firmly.
She laughed so hard. "What an early joke, Jasper." "This isn't a joke, Jane. I've realized that I still love my wife. I can't just leave her, and you know what? This was all a mistake." She realized what I'd said and landed a big slap on my face and dashed out of my office. I didn't care. I was just too happy to care.
After work, I bought some flowers and happily hurried home. "Gift, gift!" I called. "I've got something to tell you," but when I opened the door to our room, I met the shock of my life. There lies my wife, motionless. I rushed to her and found out she's dead. "No, this can't be; she wouldn't have taken her own life," I said, tears streaming down my face. I found a note beside her and read through it. As I read, I cried bitterly. My wife had been battling cancer for a while now, and I was too busy to have noticed.
There and then, I realized she knew she was going to die. That's why she made me do those things. I may not have been good to her, but to our son, I've been a very good husband. What a lovely woman; that made me love her more. She is a rare gem of her species, and I'm going to cherish her for good...
