My head has become a refuge for certain wandering creatures in search of rest. They come to my door and I welcome them. I believe I choose to do this although I do not know why.
Depression came to my door; I have been harboring him for some time now. He says he wants rest but not sleep. He is already asleep he says, even while he speaks to me. I let him in.
Day 20
For the first few weeks he is very quiet. I try to let him rest. But he whispers to himself sometimes although it is not loud enough for me to hear it.
Day 24
After a few weeks he answers some of my questions when I speak to him. He seems to be very tired. Although he only ever sleeps.
Day 36
Today I hear Depression laugh. I don't know what about. I smile when I hear it.
Day 37
Depression is asleep and has not woken up since yesterday. He had not eaten in two days.
Day 40
Depression is murmuring louder now. I am beginning to feel uneasy. I take him for walks and try to point out the sunshine and the flowers and the trees and the birds. Sometimes he nods to humor me.
Day 50
Depression does not want the lights on. But he will listen to music. The tune is very plaintive.
Day 52
Depression washes himself today. We have some coffee together.
Day 64
Depression is sleeping again. He has not spoken in ten days.
Day 68
Today I have to line my mind with padded walls. Depression is trying to harm himself in there.
Day 70
Depression does not believe he has much time left. He will kill me to free himself. In fact, he cannot kill me. He does not have the power to do that. But I hear him loudly and clearly now. He says it again: he will kill me to free himself. And again: he will kill me to free himself.
