"One more day, Ma. Have some patience." A chuckle followed my words.

Even this Angora sweater could not stop the frosty December air from penetrating the bulky material that I thought was thick enough. From the living room of my apartment, I could hear my beloved mother's voice nagging to poor Aizat who was helping Mother with the video call. My return after three years was awaited by two of my most precious significant others. What was more exciting was that I could escape the insufferable winter as Eid fell on Christmas this year. I said my goodbyes and packed my laptop inside my backpack. As soon as I was at the train station, I took my purse out of my pocket to grab my ticket.

A surge of horror slammed hard against my body. The train ticket, which was nowhere to be found, was my only way to get to the airport. I was doomed. I was nothing but short on money right now.

I was taken back to three years ago. Fine layers from the inside of both my ears oscillated in bewilderment as a result from Mother's shrill, high-pitched scream reverberating from outside of the wooden door. There went my slumber? The results were out. 6 a.m., sharp. Both me and the tall, slender figure of a person that just barged in my room, were filled with anticipation. Almost as if the rickety room was not shaking, my mother paced here and there, right then left, in effort to contain her curiousness for the answer.

"Is it me, or is it you, whose future depends on today?" I let out a titter as my eyes rolled backwards with a grin.

"Ma, you're being a drama queen." Mother quickly plugged in the twisted cords into the one and only socket in this old house. I would say it was an inconvenience but was else could we afford? Maybe if Father was still around, some money from the extra hours at sea would have gotten us another one. Our hardworking old man ventured too far just to make our ends meet, and so I had given not just my family, but even myself, my own words that I would not, never in my right mind, throw all his, blood sweat and tears to waste.

The clock had been ticking and repeated its cycle halfway, and we finally got to the acceptance email. Beads of perspiration that suddenly appeared were not exactly because of the fan that of course, chose to stop working right now. Instead, it was this thumping chunk of muscle underneath my ribcage. The admission letter appeared on the cracked screen.

"Yes! Ma, I got in!" Flashes of pink cherry blossoms emerged in my head, I was suddenly teleported to the Land of the Rising Sun. Not a second more, I was snapped back to reality.

"Ma, are you all right?" The woman beside me was a statue. What went wrong? I was accepted, wasn't I?

I knew that look on her face. We were both eager about the result. What I just, and should have realised, was that we were not expecting the same result to surprise us. Growing up as the only child had its ups and downs - I did not have to waste my time bantering and everything was mine so there was no need of sharing, but at the same time the sound of crickets was the only company I had. A brother would be great. Maybe he could help us with the heavy work, people said. Nevertheless, I was not so confident our financial burden would not be heavier if my parents would have another child. Even the hand-me-down computer in front me had us tightening our belts for months.

"I'll be fine, Hannah." Mother's blank face pictured a thousand words. My heart sank in guilt, but this was the only means to repay all Mother's sufferings and sacrifices.

The metropolitan was filled with an enormous crowd of people looming around us. Aizat was guiding me from one store to another considering Mother was probably drowned in her tears already. Consoling her had no effect - she would say that everything was fine then proceeded weeping. For now, I had to give my hundred percent of attention on this list that seemed like there was no end to it. Grateful was an understatement for what I felt towards Aizat at this moment, he knew where to obtain each item on the list. I would be dead if Aizat were to leave me stranded in this concrete jungle with all sorts of facilities that I was not familiar with. Aizat said technology made life easier, but it was not like I had the time or reason to visit the city every now and then to know that.

Just when I thought we were done, Aizat went, "Hannah, won't you need this?" My mouth gaped as I saw what Aizat was whipping out from his pocket. A mobile phone. Brand new.

I had the money. It did take me smashing the piggy bank I had for years and some part-time jobs, and running errands, and yes, some savings, but it was worth it. After counting I figured that I just needed to borrow some money from my mother, but I could afford a mobile phone on my own. So, I took out my shabby purse to hand over whatever was there to give Aizat.

"No need, Hannah. Just take it. A farewell gift from your dearest cousin, you could say."

I hesitated and thought for a bit too long. My uncle had a few chains of grocery stores. It was not a silver spoon in Aizat's mouth when he was born; it was gold, yet you would never be able to tell, and that was what I adored the most about him. What everyone did. Before another thought had the chance to come across, Aizat's soft-as-silk's hand reached my hand to hand over the sleek device. He must have felt the callouses on my hands. The walk back home was quiet. My mouth was glued, and Aizat's silence was not helping either. My mother and him had mutual thoughts on me leaving. Anyhow, the flight was in a week and there was no going back. No change of mind.

The quickest seven days passed by. In any minute, the flight would depart. When I heard the boarding announcement, I remembered something important. Looking high and low for the Message application, I clicked the text bubble icon on my phone. I was getting better at this. I sent a short message to Aizat reminding him to take care of his own wellbeing and my mother's. A smiling face emoticon was replied which caused my dimples to form.

The pandemic had caused almost the whole semesters being carried out online, perhaps Aizat was only spitting truths previously. I had to admit that those technology that used to be alien to me was doing me favours over here. Mother stopped flooding the house with her tears once Aizat got her a laptop. That finally enabled her to connect with me frequently and our distance could no longer part us. I used to think that staying all on my own, thousand miles away, would be lonely, depressing even. I was wrong - there was no reason any of us had to leave our loved ones behind. No amount of distance could separate us, not with what we had around us in this evolving world.

But the three years was excruciatingly long, and seeing mother's face and Aizat's virtually, somehow felt unfulfilling. Hence the reason I was returning home for a short while. I checked my e-wallet, just to see the 'insufficient balance' staring right back at me. There was no other option, Aizat was the first thing that I thought about. While dialling his number, I constructed and reconstructed how I was going to ask him. The call connected.

"Transferred. Check your e-wallet, Hannah." Said Aizat, before I could execute my plan to ask him. He knew me so well!

"You're my saviour. And? please don't tell my mother about this, okay? She'll be worried. See you!" Aizat laughed, and the call ended.

Next stop: home.