- - COFFEE CUP - -
MARIONE LIM
I was greeted by a warm and cozy aroma of roasted coffee, and a delightful jazz music as I entered the coffee shop. I cannot help but have a quick whiff of my favorite scent before lining up to the counter.
Katatapos lang ng review class ko sa Law subject namin at kailangan ko ng aking antidote - coffee, para pakalmahin ang sarili ko dahil ako nanaman ang bunot ni Atty. for today.
Good thing, kakaunti lang ang tao ngayon sa coffee shop dahil may bagong bukas na caf� sa kabilang street na mas malakas daw yung wifi at may poging barista daw kaya doon sila lahat lumipat.
Buti nalang bading ako.
At bukod doon, nandito kasi lagi yung nagpapasaya ng araw ko.
I quickly glanced at her usual spot right in the corner of the coffee shop. And there she is - my honeybunch, sugar plum, the apple of my eye. My rainbow after the rain, the light at the end of a tunnel, the calm after a storm and every good thing in the world.
Buti nalang hindi siya nahatak ng malakas ng wifi at ng poging barista sa kabilang street.
Mas pogi pa ako doon e. Walang halong joke.
"Yong!"
I was brought back to reality when someone called my name.
Hindi ko namalayan na nasa tapat na pala ako ng counter. Nakaka-distract kasi yung ganda niya.
"Ang lakas ng boses mo, naririnig naman kita." Reklamo ko sa barista na nasa harap ko, which is also my not so good friend - Sela Sevilleja.
"Ilang beses na kaya kitang tinatawag, tulala ka lang diyan." Inirapan naman ako nito.
Kung 'di ko lang talaga kaibigan 'to, ni-report ko na siya sa manager niya.
"Sino ba kasing tinitig-" she slightly bent forward para sundan yung tingin ko kanina, but I immediately pushed her back to her place.
"'Wag mo nang tignan, baka mapansin tayo." Saway ko sa kanya, at lumingon ulit sa direksyon na tinitignan ko kanina.
Buti nalang at busy siya sa laptop niya kaya hindi niya kami napansin.
"Si 'Ms. Coffee shop goer, but not coffee drinker' pala." At nabigyan na nga niya ng nickname. Pero mas maganda parin 'yung akin.
"Hindi parin ba siya nag-order ng drink?" I curiously asked. Good thing, wala nang nakasunod sa akin sa pila kaya pwede ko'ng chikahin si Sela.
She just shook her head no.
"Nag-recommend narin ako sa kanya ng drink kanina, pero 'No thank you' daw at cake lang ulit inorder." I was kind of disappointed sa sagot niya, but I expected narin naman.
"Hindi niyo ba talaga hinihingi 'yung name kapag cake lang yung inorder?" I genuinely asked.
"Beh, coffee shop 'to hindi red ribbon, baka nakakalimutan mo. Saan naman namin ilalagay yung pangalan nila sa cake aber?" she responded with sarcasm.
I just sighed in defeat.
"Ba't 'di mo nalang kase deretsuhin at itanong 'yung pangalan niya," she continued, ramdam ko narin yung frustration niya, "Kaysa sa hinuhulaan mo, e malay mo ba kung out of this world sa sobrang unique 'yung name niya? Mauuna pang mamuti 'yung mata mo kaysa sa mahulaan pangalan niya beh."
I do not entertain this negative energy, pero mukhang unti-unti na akong tinatamaan ng katotohanan sa mga sinabi niya.
Ilang araw ko na kasing hinuhulaan 'yung name niya. I have been picking random names that suits her at 'yun ang pinapalagay ko sa coffee cup ko, in hope of getting her attention kapag tama 'yung nahulaan ko.
Oo, ganon ako ka-torpe.
And so far, wala pa'ng tumatama sa mga hula ko.
"So, what's your name for today?" dinig ko'ng sabi ni Sela na hawak nang coffee cup at marker, naka-ready na para isulat yung pangalan na sasabihin ko.
I tried to recall the name I thought of kanina bago ako matawag sa recitation, at nakalimutan ko na nga. Kasalanan 'to ni Atty. e.
"Ah!" I jolted when I finally remembered the name.
"Mary kaya?" I suggested to Sela, who iss looking at me weirdly. "Tutal kamukha niya si Mama Mary. Baka nung pinanganak siya ng mama niya, may mga anghel na bumaba dahil sa ganda niya." Pagpapatuloy ko, and Sela gave me a disgusted look.
"Yong, sa sobrang yaman niyo hindi mo talaga afford magpa-check up?" Sela looks so done right now, pero alam ko namang mahal ako nito kahit suplada siya.
"Sige na, Sela. Seryoso nga ako, feeling ko ito na 'yon." I plead.
Inirapan lang ako ni Sela bago niya isulat yung Mary sa coffee cup ko.
"'Yan din ang sinabi mo kahapon, bading." Sabi niya nang ilapag ang coffee cup sa gilid para simulan nang gawin yung drink ko.
"Kapag 'yan tumama, ililibre kita ng kahit anong gusto mo." Pangako ko sa kanya. Pero mukhang hindi naman siya natuwa sa sinabi ko, kahit gusto niya sa libre.
"Kapag ito mali parin, 'wag ka nang magpapakita sa akin." Malditang sagot niya.
I just made a face at Sela at dumeretso na ako sa favorite spot ko - at the other corner adjacent to her spot, where I get a clear view of her.
I know I sound like a stalker, but I'm not. I only get to see her in this coffee shop. I do not follow her around, and I don't think I can come near her because firstly, I respect her privacy and secondly, I do not have the guts to do so. Let alone breathe next to her.
I just admire her from a distance.
I still remember the first time I saw her, two weeks ago.
Lagi kasi akong dumederetso dito sa shop right after my class, unless may kailangan akong puntahan. But it has been my routine to grab my coffee after a stressful day at bonus narin yung maka-chikahan ko si Sela kapag break time niya.
And two weeks ago, I saw this unfamiliar face. She was seated on the corner of the caf�, staring blankly at her laptop. At first, I assumed na napadaan lang siya or naki-wifi lang kaya I immediately shrugged the thought of her.
It was just a random pretty stranger that I'd never see again so, I won't bother.
But then I saw her again the next day.
Nakasalubong ko siya sa pinto. Papasok ako ng shop at palabas naman siya. I got to open the door for her kahit sobrang gulat ako sa sobrang lapit niya sa akin.
She muttered a small 'Thank you' to me before rushing her way out of the caf�.
Ayun, si bakla natulala.
Nung nag thank you siya sa akin, imbes na 'You're welcome' sabihin ko, nag 'Thank you' din ako pabalik.
Don't laugh at me because I respect gorgeous women. Hindi ko deserve ang 'Thank you' niya.
However, even after that small encounter, nasa isip ko parin na baka napadaan lang ulit siya. At hindi na babalik.
But joke's on me, bumalik siya the next day and she was seated on the same spot I saw her for the first time.
I guess, third time's a charm kaya do'n na ako naglakas ng loob na tanungin yung pangalan niya kay Sela.
Kaso hindi niya daw alam dahil hindi pa siya nag-oorder ng any kind of drink at puro cake at bread lang. Napansin ko din na lagi siyang may dalang tumbler which I assume was either water or fruit drink.
At first, na wierdohan ako kasi bakit siya nasa coffee shop kung hindi naman siya coffee drinker. But I'm not the one to complain because I appreciate her presence here.
That day I tried my first attempt of guessing her name, instead of just asking.
Alam ko'ng sobrang liit ng chance na mahulaan ko yung name niya, pero sa ngalan ng patron ng mga torpe umaasa parin ako.
Hindi ko din alam kung saan nanggaling yung confidence ko na nasa panig ko si kupido, because so far he's been failing me.
And here's another attempt.
Nang mapansin ko'ng patapos na yung drink ko at tinignan narin ako ni Sela ng masama, it's my cue to observe her reaction.
"Coffee for Mary!" dinig kong sigaw ni Sela.
But she did not even move an inch nung tinawag yung name. Baka hindi lang niya masyadong narinig dahil nasa dulong part siya ng shop.
Kaya sinenyasan ko si Sela na tawagin pa niya for the second time nang mas malakas. Inirapan lang niya ako.
"COFFEE FOR MARY!" sigaw niya ulit na may konting inis na.
Dahil sa sobrang lakas ng sigaw niya, hindi lang yung atensyon na gusto kong makuha ang nakuha niya. But all the people inside as well as the employees looked at her in surprise.
Calling it another failed attempt, I walked towards the counter in shame.
I can feel all the eyes following me as I walk.
"Muntik na akong mapa-sign of the cross sa pag-sigaw ng name na 'yan. Wag ka na talaga magpapakita sakin Yong." Pabulong na sabi ni Sela sa akin nang iabot niya sa akin yung drink.
I just scratched the back of my head in embarrassment.
I guess I still haven't earned cupid's arrow.
____________________
The next day, after an exhausting review class for our Taxation subject. Nag-aya yung mga classmates ko na mag-night out, para daw ibuhos yung frustrations namin. Buti nalang Friday na, walang pasok bukas kaya pwede kaming gumala.
I was actually planning to go straight sa coffee shop because I was craving for some coffee. Yes, coffee lang. Na may konting sulyap kay crush.
Pero sino ba naman ako para tumanggi sa alak?
"Oh kanino na yung ikot?" dinig kong tanong ni Janna- my academic rival since high school, Janna Robles.
Mukha lang loko-loko 'to, which is totoo naman na loko-loko siya pero matalino 'yan. Pero lamang parin naman ako kahit na mas paborito siya ni Atty. dahil ang dami niyang sinasabi kapag recitation.
"Kay Yong na." nagulat naman ako nang bigla nanamang nabanggit yung pangalan ko.
"Anong ako?" mabilis kong sabi, "Kakatapos ko lang ah." Reklamo ko.
Mga nagtatapon na ata ng alak ang mga 'to ah.
"Ayan si Shan oh, nag-cr kanina 'yan nung turn na niya." Sabay turo ko kay Shan na nakasandal na kay Gill. Halatang tinatamaan na ng alak itong isang 'to. Mahinang nilalang.
"Hoy! Shanaiah Louise Catacutan. Tama na 'yang paglalandian niyo ni Gill, ang sakit na sa mata please lang." Inirapan siya ni Janna, sabay abot ng shot glass.
"Pwede mag shut up nalang yung mga bitter diyan?" Ganti naman ni Shan, bago tunggain yung alak.
Napangiwi nalang ito sa tama ng alak.
"Siya nga pala, Yong." Napalingon naman ako kay Janna nang bigla niya akong kinalabit.
"May hindi ka na-kkwento sa amin ah." Pagpapatuloy nito.
Napakunot naman ako ng noo sa sinabi niya. Anong hindi na-kkwento?
"Pinagsasabi mo?" I scoffed.
"Marione Lim, 'wag ka nang mag maang-maangan diyan. Sinabi na sa akin ni Sela," why am I not surprised. "Kaya pala lagi kang dumederetso sa coffee shop, para makita yung bago mo'ng interest. Ikaw ah."
"Akala ko sa utang lang may interest, meron narin pala sa coffee shop. Grabe ka na Yong." Dagdag pa ni Shan.
Unti-unti ko nang pinagsisisihan na sumama ako ngayon.
Dapat pala pumunta nalang ako sa coffee shop, sumaya pa sana ako.
"Dahan-dahan naman sa mga pinagsasabi niyo, nandito si Denise oh." Pag-saway naman ni Gill sa dalawa.
Nabaling naman ang atensyon naming lahat kay Denise.
"Baliw! Okay lang 'no." she awkwardly laughed. "Matagal na akong naka move on kay Yong." Dagdag pa nito, sabay inom ng alak.
It wasn't even her turn yet.
I'm aware of Denise having a crush on me, since she's been so vocal about it. We just haven't had the opportunity to talk about it, dahil nasa same circle of friends kami and we thought that time will eventually change her feelings. But looking at her right now, hindi parin siya komportable sakin.
I mean, she's beautiful, smart, kind and she's really hot. Ang dami rin nagkakagusto sa kanya from both gender. But, I just like her as my friend. I wanted to keep it that way.
"Denise." I called out.
I need to clear everything between us, once and for all. Ayoko kasing may awkward feeling between us lalo na nasa same circle kami.
"Hmm?" She looked at me, surprised.
"Do you wanna grab some coffee?" I offered.
They were all surprised by my sudden invitation. Lalo na si Denise, hindi ko alam kung epekto lang ng alcohol sa katawan niya pero sobrang pula na niya.
"S-sure." She responded.
We both stood up from our seat at dinig ko ang kantyawan ng mga kaibigan namin. Mga bunganga talaga ng mga 'to e.
Tinignan ko nalang sila ng masama pabalik bago kami tuluyang makalabas ni Denise.
"Mga loko-loko talaga." I scoffed as I glance at Denise who slightly lost her balance. Buti nalang nasalo ko agad.
"Oh, careful." I said as I was holding her arm. "Okay ka lang? Balik nalang tayo sa loob, if 'di mo na kaya." I suggested, but she quickly shook her head in response.
"No, I'm okay. Let's grab some coffee." She said and allowed me to lead the way.
"Sure ka ba?" Paninigurado ko. Naka-ilang shot ba 'to?
"Yeah, let's go." Wala na akong nagawa kundi sundin yung gusto niya. Ako din naman ang nag-aya in the first place.
Buti nalang malapit lang dito yung coffee shop kaya nilakad nalang namin. It's almost 11 PM, at hanggang 12 am yung shop kaya madalas tambayan ng mga bangag galing sa inuman yung caf�- tulad namin.
While we were walking, I suddenly felt a pair of arms wrap around my left arm. I flinched at the contact but I eventually settled after seeing Denise support herself with my arm. Isa pa 'tong mahinang nilalang.
"Is she pretty?" Napalingon ako kay Denise nang bigla siyang magsalita.
"Hmm?" Mahina ko'ng sagot.
"Your new interest," she said as she looked up to me before proceeding, "Is she pretty?"
I don't know if this is a trap, but I guess I'll just answer with honesty.
"Yeah." I smiled at her, in which she reciprocated.
"Of course she is," she scoffed, "You're Marione Lim, and you have your standards."
Napatigil ako sa pag-lalakad dahil sa sinabi niya.
Napahinto rin siya at humarap sa akin, habang nakahawak parin siya sa braso ko.
"Don't start with that, please." I plead.
"Why?" she giggled.
"I'm just telling the truth, that you have your standards and it's just unfortunate of me to not meet those standards." I'm not sure if it's because of the alcohol, but it looks like she's speaking her heart out and I don't like what I'm hearing.
"Denise," I held both of her arms and looked at her eyes, "You're beautiful, you're smart, kind and I don't know if it's appropriate to say this but I-I t-think you're hot." I had to break the eye contact because of embarrassment.
Natawa naman si Denise sa inasta ko, kaya natawa narin ako.
"But seriously, what I really want to point out is that you're beautiful just the way you are, so you don't have to meet those stupid standards." I explained.
"I mean, if we're being honest here, you're one of THE standard but," I paused for a few seconds, collecting my thoughts and hoping that I get to deliver them properly.
"But?" Denise said in anticipation.
"But, you know how the heart works right?" I said, and she just nodded in response.
"If we're too reckless with love, it can get out of hand and we may lose what we have." I added. Denise was just quietly listening.
"So, I hope you can recognize that this isn't me rejecting you and your love, because I really appreciate you."
"But, this is me trying not to lose you," I sincerely said, "You're a good friend of mine, and I want to keep you in my life." I smiled at her but I received a punch on my arm.
"Aray!" reklamo ko.
"Kaya ang hirap maka-move on sayo e!" sagot niya nang pagalit, but in a nice manner.
"Sobrang green flag mo." She pouted, and I just had to laugh at her reaction.
"Sorry na." I gently said, habang natatawa parin.
Nagpatuloy na kami sa pag-lalakad at naaninag ko narin yung sign ng coffee shop.
"Kung anong kina-red ng buhok mo, 'yun naman ang kina green flag mo. It's very contradicting Yongskie." Dagdag pa niya.
She's calling me again with that jejemon nickname she used to call me. That's when I knew we're okay na.
"Nadamay pa ang buhok ko. Hindi ba pwedeng favorite color ko lang ang red?" Pabiro kong sabi sa kanya at natawa nalang din siya.
Nag-kwentuhan at tawanan lang kami habang nag-lalakad. Inintriga pa niya ako tungkol sa crush ko, kaya wala na akong nagawa kundi i-kwento sa kanya. Nasabihan pa akong torpe. Hindi naman na kailangan ipa-mukha.
But kidding aside, I'm glad that we got to settle the thing between us, and we could finally free ourselves from the awkward tension 'pag magkasama kami.
"We're here." Sabi ko nang makarating kami sa tapat ng coffee shop.
"Tara." I was about to open the door, pero pinigilan ako ni Denise.
Pag-lingon ko sa kanya, nagulat ako nang biglang dumampi yung labi niya sa pisngi ko.
"Thank you," dinig kong sabi niya, "For not rejecting me." And just like that iniwan na niya ako at agad nag-abang ng taxi.
"Bye Yongskie! Good luck!" dinig kong sigaw niya habang paalis yung taxi na sinakyan niya.
What just happened?
Napahawak nalang ako sa cheeks ko sa sobrang confuse.
I froze for a moment.
Is this the alcohol acting up, or it's real?
Bumalik naman ako sa ulirat nang maramdaman kong bumukas ang pintuan ng coffee shop sa likod ko.
At 'yung kiss sa cheeks na inakala ko'ng pinaka-nasurprise ako sa araw na ito, may ilalala pa pala.
Paglingon ko, nakita ko 'yung taong bumubuo ng araw ko lately na hindi ko nakita buong araw.
Parang tumigil 'yung mundo ko ng ilang Segundo at napatulala nalang ako sa kanya.
"Excuse me." Dinig kong sabi niya at nagmamadaling nag-lakad palabas ng shop at nag abang ng taxi.
Hanggang sa maka-alis yung taxi na sinakyan niya, nakasunod lang 'yung tingin ko.
Anong meron sa gabing 'to? Ba't puno ng sorpresa? Mamamatay na ba 'ko? Lord, 'wag muna please. 'Di pa ko nakakapag-confess.
Nagulat naman ako nang bigla kong maramdaman na nag vibrate ang phone ko sa bulsa. I quickly pulled out my phone to check who messaged me at this late hour.
_____
Message
From: Denise
11:09 PM
Good luck sa pag-suyo, Yongskie. If looks could kill me, kanina pa ako patay dahil sa tingin niya kanina.
_____
Napamura nalang ako, pagkabasa ko ng message. Sabi ko na nga ba may something sa kiss na 'yon e. Well, aside from the fact that I kinda liked it. She set me up!
At nakita ng crush ko 'yon?
Kaya ba ganon 'yung tono niya kanina? Parang galit na masungit.
Pero bakit? Ano ngayon kung nakita niya 'yun?
Parang sasabog na 'yung utak ko sa sobrang daming daming nangyare, in just a span of few freaking minutes.
"Hoy bading!" I jolted when Sela suddenly appeared behind me.
"Putik na yan! Isa ka pa!" Napasigaw ako sa gulat, pero tinignan niya lang ako ng masama.
"Oh, ba't damay ako sa init ng ulo mo?" inis na sagot niya.
Imbes na sumagot ako, pumasok nalang ako sa loob ng shop.
Napansin ko'ng wala nang ibang tao sa loob kundi si Sela at ang mga employees na kasama niya.
Ibig-sabihin mag-isa lang siya kanina dito? Sa ganitong oras?
Sa pagkaka-alam ko, hindi pa siya inaabot nang ganito ka late. Madalas nga mas nauuna pa siyang umalis sa akin. Max na yung 7 PM kung gabihin siya.
"'Wag ka nang mag-oorder ng drink ah, tinatamad na ako." Dinig kong sabi ni Sela pagka-upo ko sa bakanteng table.
"Ganyan ka pala mag-trato ng customer mo ah, susumbong kita sa manager mo." Sinundan ko siya ng tingin papunta sa likod ng counter.
Pag-balik niya sa pwesto ko may dala-dala na siyang isang baso ng tubig.
"Sa'yo lang ako ganito." Inirapan niya ako sabay lapag ng tubig sa harapan ko.
"'Yan ang inumin mo," dagdag pa niya at umupo sa upuan na kaharap ko, "Para mapalitan ng tubig 'yang alak sa katawan mo."
"Thank you." Malambing kong sabi, taliwas sa bangayan namin kanina.
Madalas lang kaming mag-bardagulan ni Sela pero alam kong mahal niya ako. Mahal ko din naman siya, kahit nakakasawa siya minsan.
"Kanina pa 'yon dito." Biglang sabi ni Sela after ng konting katahimikan sa pagitan namin.
"Huh?" Maang-maangan ko'ng tanong. Alam ko naman kung sino ang tinutukoy niya.
"Sino pa ba, edi si 'Ms. Coffee shop goer, but not coffee drinker'" sagot ni Sela.
I let out a deep sigh before answering.
"Bakit daw siya ginabi?" I genuinely asked.
"Aba malay ko 'don," mabilis na sagot ni Sela, "Nag-taka nga rin ako, kase siya nalang 'yung natira kanina. Tapos palagi ang tingin niya sa labas, lalo na kapag may dumarating. Parang may hinihintay e."
Ayokong mag-assume at magpaka-delulu, pero mukhang may susuyuin ata ako kahit hindi ko pa jowa.
Is she really waiting for me?
"Tapos pagka-kita niya sa inyo ni Denise sa labas na naglalandian, si ate mo girl agad nag-ligpit ng gamit. Bakit kaya?" Sarcastic na sabi ni Sela. She knows.
Napayuko nalang ako sa table dahil sa kahihiyan. Hindi naman sumakit 'yung ulo ko kanina sa alak, pero sa mga nangyare ngayon parang mabibiyak na 'yung ulo ko sa sobrang sakit.
"Ano ba kasi 'yon? Akala ko ba hindi mo gusto si Denise? Bakit may pa-kiss sa pisngi ang bading?" Sela asked curiously.
"She set me up!" I ranted as I lifted my head up, "I told her about her. E hindi ko naman napansin na nasa loob pala siya." I was so frustrated as I put my head back down.
"Anong gagawin ko, Sela?" I said in a muffled voice.
I felt Sela's hand gently rubbing my head.
"Well, just think of it as a blessing in disguise," I quickly lifter my head off the table, anong blessing in disguise?
"At least, ngayon may dahilan ka na para kausapin siya plus, we can safely assume that you're both on the same page." Napakunot nalang ang noo ko sa mga sinabi ni Sela.
"Yong, kung nakita mo lang 'yung mukha niya kanina habang nag-hihintay. Her face was screaming 'Where's that creepy red haired girl with different names'" Hindi ko alam kung kinukunsinti lang ni Sela yung pagiging delulu ko, pero so far convincing siya.
"So, what should I do? Do I just go to her and explain my side? Hindi ba weird 'yon?" Tuloy-tuloy ko'ng tanong.
Napakamot nalang sa ulo si Sela.
"Yong, paalala ko lang sa'yo ah. You're Marione Lim, THE Marione Lim," Sela said while holding my face between her hands. "You have that charisma within you that everyone find attractive, well except me." Tinignan ko naman siya ng masama.
"But my point is, kahit hindi ka pa mag-salita ang dami nang nagkakagusto sa'yo. Ngayon ka pa ba matotorpe?" she said.
Tinanggal ko naman yung pagka-hawak niya sa mukha ko, dahil pinipisil na niya ito sa sobrang gigil niya.
"This is different kase," I muttered, "She's different from my past interests."
"I feel like, she's way out of my league." I said, looking defeated.
"I guess, it's real this time." Nagtaka naman ako sa sinabi ni Sela.
"What I'm trying to say is that, it's not the typical fling you're looking for," she pointed out, "Totoo na 'yan Yong. Kaya seryosohin mo na."
Sela's words did not allow me to have a peaceful sleep that night. Kahit 'yung epekto ng alak, hindi tumalab sa akin.
Hindi ako makatulog sa sobrang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko, habang binabalikan ko yung mga nanyare sa gabing 'yon.
Kaka-kape ko 'to e.
Nag-iisip narin ako kung ano ang gagawin ko bukas kapag nakita ko ulit siya.
What should I say?
How should I start a conversation?
Paano kung hindi niya ako pansinin?
Baka na turn-off na siya sa akin.
Naka-ilang gulong muna ako sa kama ko bago ako tuluyang nakatulog.
_______
I woke up late the next day.
Nagmamadali akong naligo at nag-ayos because it's almost lunch time na.
Wala kaming pasok sa weekends kaya may time ako para tumambay sa cafe, minsan doon narin ako nag-rereview pero madalas si crush lang ang pinupunta ko don.
As I walked downstairs, I was greeted by a delicious smell coming from the kitchen.
"Wow! Ang sarap niyan ah." Pag-bati ko kay mama, nang sumilip ako sa kusina.
Napalingon naman siya sa akin at magkasalubong na agad ang kilay niya.
"Saan ka nanaman pupunta, Marione?" tanong niya, nang mapansin na naka-gayak na ako.
"Good morning to you too, ma." I replied and kissed her cheek.
Hindi ko na pinansin 'yung tanong niya, at dumeretso na sa fridge para kumuha ng tubig.
"Hindi ka na napirmi sa bahay, Ione." dinig kong sabi ni mama sa likod ko.
"Mag-rereview lang po ako, ma. Malapit na kasi yung pre-board exam namin." I was half telling the truth.
Mabuti parin naman akong estudyante kahit na lumalandi lang ako madalas. 'Landi responsibly' ang motto ng mga bading.
"Siguraduhin mo lang na nag-aaral ka talaga ah," she said, nang humarap na ako sa kanya, "You don't want to disappoint you dad again, Marione."
Here we go again. It's the primary reason why I wanted to be away from home as much as possible.
"Alis na ako, ma." Paalam ko, at humalik ulit bago ako tuluyang umalis.
I have to eliminate this negative energy, dahil may mas importante akong agenda today - kausapin si crush.
_____
As soon as I entered the coffee shop, my eyes automatically searched for a specific person.
But her usual spot was empty.
Maaga pa naman kaya hindi naman ako na disappoint.
Dumeretso nalang ako sa counter para mag-order ng lunch, and I was greeted by a different server.
"Good day, Ma'am. What's your order?" the employee greeted.
I looked over the counter para hanapin si Sela, but there's no sign of her near the counter.
"Si Sela?" tanong ko sa employee.
"Po?" she replied with confusion.
"Si Sela, hindi ba siya naka-duty ngayon?"
"Ahh, si ate Sela po nakipag-switch po siya. Bale mamaya pa po'ng gabi yung shift niya, Ma'am." she replied.
Hindi man lang niya ako sinabihan.
Nag-order nalang ako ng pasta 'yung usual coffee ko, at dumeretso na sa pwesto ko.
Mag-rereview na muna siguro ako habang nag-hihintay.
Every time I hear the chimes from the door, I automatically divert my attention to the person entering the cafe. I tried to focus sa nirereview ko pero kada maririnig ko 'yung pinto, na-didistract ako.
When the clock strikes 4PM, I was expecting for her arrival. She usually go here around this hour, baka na-traffic lang.
Naka-order na ko ng meryenda at I'm currently on my second coffee. But there's still no sign of her.
Around 6PM, narinig ko ulit yung pagbukas ng pinto and I was saying a silent prayer na sana siya na 'to.
'Sana siya na'
But to my disappointment, it wasn't her.
"Oh ba't parang dismayado ka na dumating ako?" pagbati sa akin ng kararating lang na si Sela.
Hindi ko siya pinansin at binaling nalang yung atensyon ko sa nirereview ko.
"Hinihintay mo siya 'no?" dinig kong sabi ni Sela nang umupo siya sa harapan ko.
"Mukhang hindi siya pupunta ngayon." I let out a deep sigh of disappointment.
"Ang nega mo naman, baka may inasikaso lang." Sela mentioned, trying to lift my spirit.
"Paano kung hindi nga siya dumating?" sagot ko.
"Then, try again tomorrow." she replied.
"What if, hindi na siya bumalik?" Unti-unti nang nag-ssink in sa akin at na realize ko na sana naglakas na ako ng loob noon, hindi sana ako nagkakaganito ngayon.
"Yong, makinig ka sa akin," Sela looked at me intently, "Babalik 'yon."
Hindi ko alam kung anong meron sa mga words ni Sela, pero sobrang na convince niya ako na babalik siya.
Kaya bumalik din ako.
The next day, I waited for her again. I may not be sure of what I would do when she actually showed up, but at least I'm sure about my intention this time.
Kaya kahit hindi ko parin siya nakita noong araw na 'yon. Bumalik parin ako.
I guess I'm really down bad for her. Kase normally, I would just let it go sa ilang oras lang na pag-hintayin ako. Pero, iba 'to. I really have the strong urge to pursue her.
______
Tuesday
4:17 PM
"Sabi ko na nga ba, ako ang bunot ni Atty. ngayon e. Hindi pa naman ako nag-review." inis na sabi ni Shan habang naglalakad kami sa hallway palabas ng school.
"Ayan ang napapala ng mga inuuna ang landi kaysa pag-aaral." pang-aasar naman ni Janna.
Sinimulan nanaman nila.
"Dalhin nalang natin sa inuman 'to oh, ipakita mo nalang angas mo sa bar Janna." Pag-aamok naman ni Shan.
"G! Tara, tutal nag-cancel ng class yung taxation." Pag-aya ni Janna sa amin.
"Pass ako diyan. May pupuntahan ako." I refused, sabay-sabay naman silang nag-react na parang hindi makapaniwala.
"Totoo ba 'yung naririnig ko? Tumanggi sa alak si Yong?" pabirong sabi ni Shan.
"May sakit ka ba, Yong?" ginatungan pa ni Janna, sabay hawak pa noo ko pero agad ko namang tinabig ito.
"Baliw! Igaya niyo pa ako sa inyong matakaw sa alak," I replied in annoyance, "Sige na, mauna na ako." paalam ko at wala narin silang nagawa nang tumakbo ako palabas ng school.
Nilakad ko nalang 'yung coffee shop mula sa school dahil ilang street lang naman ang pagitan.
I was once again greeted by the healing aroma of roasted coffee and the calming sound of jazz music. Hindi ko mapigilang mapangiti.
Nang makapasok ako nang tuluyan, agad hinanap ng mata ko yung spot na sa tatlong araw ay kung hindi bakante ay mga hindi pamilyar na mukha ang nakaupo.
But to my surprise, the spot wasn't empty nor it was occupied by unfamiliar faces.
My eyes met two familiar orbs that I haven't seen for the past few days. She's here, and she's staring back at me.
I froze for a moment, and I felt my heart skip a beat before its rhythm erratically changed.
She's here.
After a few seconds, she's the first one to break the eye contact and diverted her attention to her laptop.
I was smiling like a fool as I walked towards the counter.
"Mukha ka'ng tanga." pagbati sa akin ni Sela.
Buti nalang nandito na yung crush ko, at gumanda na ang araw ko. Kung hindi, baka 'di ko na matantya 'tong si Sela.
"Thank you." I replied with sarcasm.
Tinawanan lang niya ako.
"Anong order mo? Wala kaming gamot sa katorpehan ah. At lalong wala kaming pampalakas ng loob." Sabi niya habang natatawa.
Talagang sinusubukan niya ang pasensya ko.
"Pasalamat ka nandito yung crush ko ngayon, baka 'di na kita na-tantya diyan." pagbabanta ko kay Sela, pero tinawanan lang niya ako ulit.
"Oh easy, titigil na nga e," sabi niya habang nagpipigil ng tawa, "Anong order mo?"
"'Yung usual lang." tipid ko'ng sagot.
"Sana naman maayos na 'yung naisip mo'ng pangalan, kase last na talaga 'to at itutulak na kita sa kanya." dinig ko'ng sabi ni Sela habang nag-hihintay ng pangalan na sasabihin ko.
"Marione." I quickly said that made Sela look at me with amusement.
"Tumatapang na ang manok ko ah." she slightly nudged my shoulder teasingly.
"Shut up." mahina ko'ng sabi.
"But seriously, I'm rooting for you bestie," she muttered, writing my name on the coffee cup, "Iwagayway mo ang bandera ng mga bading at mga torpe." she added.
"Sira." I scoffed, at dumeretso na sa pwesto ko.
I glanced at the corner of the cafe and smiled.
How can someone be so beatiful and gorgeous at the same time, just by sitting there?
I just know that God was in a good mood and took His precious time when He created her.
Siya ang patunay na totoo ang Diyos.
It didn't take that long before I heard my name.
"Coffee for Marione Lim!" I heard Sela call out.
I immediately stood up from my seat and walked towards the counter.
"Sana binanggit mo narin middle name ko, nahiya ka pa." sabi ko kay Sela at inirapan siya.
"Oh shux! Oo nga 'no?" she acted surprised.
"'Di bale, may next time pa naman." dagdag pa niya.
Akala ko AudProb lang 'yung magpapa-init ng ulo ko. Mas malala pa pala 'tong kaibigan ko.
Kaibigan pa ba 'to?
Kahit na gusto ko pa siyang sagutin, nag-pigil nalang ako at bumalik sa table ko. Next time ko nalang din ibubuhos yung inis ko sa kanya. Hindi pwedeng masira ang good mood ko today.
Pag-balik ko sa table, pa-simple akong sumulyap sa direksyon niya at nagulat ako nang mag-tama ang mga tingin namin.
Sa akin ba siya naka-tingin?
I looked behind my back to check if I am not mistaken or just assuming things. But, there's nothing interesting around me that would catch her attention.
I brought my attention back to her, and she's still looking at me. I can't read her facial expression, so I just smiled at her.
Pero umiwas siya ng tingin nung nginitian ko siya.
Ang sakit mo na crush.
Pero, hindi ako naghintay ng tatlong araw para sumuko.
Lord, pasensya na kung hindi talaga siya 'yung inilaan mo para sa akin. Pero, ako na mag-dedesisyon. Kaya ko na 'to, Lord. Akin na 'to.
Kaya kahit kabado, hinugot ko na lahat ng lakas ng loob na inipon ko sa tatlong araw.
I took a deep breath before I stand up from my seat, holding my coffee cup in hand. I slowly walked towards her direction, squeezing into the chairs and tables on my way.
My eyes were just fixated on her.
Palapit ng palapit.
Sumasabay sa bigat ng mga yabag ko ang tibok ng puso ko.
Kailangan ko na talagang mag-bawas ng kape sa sistema ko.
When I was just one table away from her, an unfortunate event happened.
"Oh my God!"
"I'm so sorry, miss."
A woman suddenly got up from her seat and accidentally bumped into me and spilled my drink over my shirt.
Kapag minamalas ka nga naman oh.
May ginawa ba akong masama sa previous life ko para parusahan ako ng ganito?
I just froze at that moment.
Hindi ko na ininda yung init ng kape kase nanlamig na 'yung buong katawan ko nang mapansin ko'ng nakatingin siya sa akin.
She was looking at m worriedly.
Kaya imbes na magalit ako, napangiti nalang ako sa kanya.
Tama nga siguro si Sela, mukha akong tanga.
"I-it's okay, miss." I politely said to the woman.
She's saying sorry repeatedly until I excused myself to go to the bathroom to clean up.
Nang dumaan ako sa table niya, napansin ko'ng naka-tingin parin siya sa akin at mukhang nag-aalala.
Kaya ngumiti nalang ako sa kanya para iparating na okay lang ako.
'Okay lang ako, baby ko. Hintayin mo lang ako diyan.'
Nagmamadali akong pumasok sa banyo at hinugasan yung nabasang parte ng t-shirt ko. Buti nalang black 'yung suot ko, kaya hindi masyadong halata kahit na amoy kape ako hanggang mamaya.
After a few minutes, when I was done wiping the stain off of my shirt, I checked myself out on the mirror.
I think, I look decent enough to meet her.
For the second time, I took a deep breath and recovered the courage I collected earlier.
Cupid, please be on my side this time.
Paglabas ko ng cr, agad hinanap ng mga mata ko 'yung pwesto niya.
But, I was disappointed when I found it empty.
I walked towards her table and even her things were gone. Umalis na siya?
I looked around to check if she just switch spots, but she's nowhere inside the coffee shop.
Dismayado akong umupo sa inuupuan niya kanina at napayuko nalang.
Is this a sign from God and Cupid that she's not intended for me?
Should I blame the woman who accidentally spilled my drink?
Or the timing?
If I was walking a little too fast, maybe I got to her table before the woman stood up from her seat.
Or was it just me all along?
It's me and my never ending excuses and hesitations.
Kung nilapitan ko na siya noon pa man, hindi na sana ako umabot sa ganito.
I was so close to breaking down, when I noticed a small piece of paper tucked into the tiny plant decoration on the table.
________
?Note
Hi, Red haired girl! I'm sorry for what happened. I hope you're okay :)
P.s Arianne might be a good name for your next coffee cup. You might wanna try it for your next one ;)
- Your not so secret admirer
_________
Am I reading this correctly?
It took me a few seconds before it sinked in.
I jolted from my seat and ran towards the door.
Sana hindi pa siya nakalayo.
Lumingon ako sa kaliwa't kanan ng side walk para hanapin siya.
Sa dami ng mga taong dumadaan, mula sa magkabilang direksyon. Nahanap agad ng mga mata ko ang pamilyar niyang pigura.
Tumakbo ako papalapit sa kanya habang dahan dahan siyang naglalakad papalayo.
"Miss!" I shouted once, while I was running towards her.
She didn't bother stopping.
"Miss!" I shouted for the second time, but she just continued walking.
When I was just a few meters away from her, I shouted again.
"Arianne!" I stopped in my track and placed both my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath.
She finally looked back.
Smiling at me.
She wasn't even surprised, like she was expecting me.
I smiled back in relief.
Nang unti-unti nang naging normal ang pag-hinga ko, dahan-dahan akong lumapit sa kanya.
"H-hi." I muttered while still catching my breath.
"Hi." she replied with a smile.
Ang ganda niya.
"I-i saw your note." I mentioned, holding my right hand to show her the note.
She nodded, acknowledging my remark.
"Sorry, I didn't know how to address you," she said, scratching her forehead, "You've been giving different names for your coffee cup. Anya, Bea, Thea, Mary?" I was stunned when she almost mentioned all the names I randomly put on my coffee cup.
"You remember each name?" I said in amusement.
"Well, I've been taking notes hehe."
So, we're really on the same page.
"Sorry if I confused you," I shyly said, "I was just trying to figure out your name." I suddenly found the floor interesting. Bato pala 'to?
"Yeah, I know." she replied, smiling at me.
"Alam mo?" Nanlaki ang mata ko sa gulat.
She nodded yes in response.
"All this time, alam mo na pala 'yung ka-torpehan ko." I scratch the back of my head in embarrassment.
"Ang cute kaya." Napatingin ako sa kanya, at naramdaman ko'ng uminit 'yung mukha ko. Mas mainit pa sa kape na nabuhos sa akin.
Cute daw ako. Wala na, mahal ko na talaga siya.
"I was actually confused at first," dinig kong sabi niya nang hindi ako nakapag-salita, "Pero after some time, I noticed your quick glances lalo na kapag tinatawag 'yung 'names' mo."
Napatakip nalang ako ng mukha sa sobrang hiya.
Ba't ba kase natatanggal angas ko sa mga magaganda?
"Huy, okay ka lang?" hinawakan niya yung kamay ko na nakatakip sa mukha ko.
I then removed my hands and forced a smile.
Wala nang saysay kung ngayon pa ako mahihiya, nagawa ko na e.
I wiped my cold hands on my shirt before offering it forward.
"I'm Marione." I said, formally introducing myself.
"But you can call me Yours," pabiro ko'ng sabi, "I mean, Yong."
She giggled before shaking my hand.
Ganito pala tumawa si Mama Mary.
"Arianne," she replied, "Yan nalang."
Yong and Yan.
Kabahan na ang DongYan.
"Uhm, do you wanna grab some dinner?" I offered after we shook hands. Hindi ko alam kung saan galing 'yung lakas ng loob ko para tanungin 'yon.
Pansin ko 'yung gulat sa mukha niya dahil sa biglaang tanong ko.
"S-sorry, masyado bang mabi-"
"No," pag-putol niya sa sinasabi ko, "I mean, sure. Let's grab some dinner." mabilis niyang sabi.
Napangiti naman ako agad sa sagot niya. Akala ko bagsak na agad ako e.
"May alam akong masarap na kainan sa kabilang street lang, kung gusto mo lakarin nalang natin." I suggested.
"Sure, I like that." she replied with a smile.
I like you.
I switched spot with her, walking on the side of the road where cars are passing by.
Napalingon ako sa kanya, and she's smiling.
To lessen the awkwardness between us, I started a conversation.
"Bakit ka nga pala laging nasa coffee shop, kahit na hindi ka naman nag o-order ng coffee?" Hindi ko na napigilang itanong.
Natawa naman siya sa tanong ko.
"I was actually trying different places sa area na 'to, since kakalipat ko lang last month." sabi niya.
Kaya pala recently ko lang siya nakita.
"And I was finding an inspiration for my new book, because I was struggling with writer's block." she explained.
"You're an author?" I said, astounded.
"Not yet, but an aspiring one," she replied, "I haven't published a book yet. But with my newly found inspiration, I think I'm a step closer to being an author." she continued.
"That's awesome." I remarked.
I was thinking of something a little crazy and delusional, but my mouth just had to betray me with this one.
"So," I started, "Is it safe to assume that your newly found inspiration is," I then pointed at myself.
She let out a laugh in disbelief.
"Ang kapal ah." dinig kong sabi niya habang natatawa parin.
"Oh," I stopped in my track and so did she, anticipating.
"You didn't deny it." I said teasingly.
"Ewan ko sayo." At nagpatuloy na siya sa paglalakad, at naiwan akong nakatayo.
Hindi naman pinalampas ng mata ko yung ngiti niya kahit nakatalikod na siya.
"Wait for me." I said before running after her.
Nang makalapit na ako sa kanya, tinignan ko siya at nginitian bago mag-focus sa nilalakaran ko.
"So, what's the title of your story?" I genuinely asked.
She glanced at me and took a moment to think before answering.
"I've had a few on my list, but I think I know what suits it the most." She remarked.
I was just looking at her in anticipation.
"Coffee Cup." she simply said, and smiled at me.
I felt like I was catching butterflies in my stomach.
I just had to smile at her in admiration.
All this time, I thought I wasn't trying hard enough to earn Cupid's arrow.
But I didn't realized, he was on our side all along.
-- COFFEE CUP --
MARIONE LIM
I was greeted by a warm and cozy aroma of roasted coffee, and a delightful jazz music as I entered the coffee shop. I cannot help but have a quick whiff of my favorite scent before lining up to the counter.
Katatapos lang ng review class ko sa Law subject namin at kailangan ko ng aking antidote - coffee, para pakalmahin ang sarili ko dahil ako nanaman ang bunot ni Atty. for today.
Good thing, kakaunti lang ang tao ngayon sa coffee shop dahil may bagong bukas na caf� sa kabilang street na mas malakas daw yung wifi at may poging barista daw kaya doon sila lahat lumipat.
Buti nalang bading ako.
At bukod doon, nandito kasi lagi yung nagpapasaya ng araw ko.
I quickly glanced at her usual spot right in the corner of the coffee shop. And there she is - my honeybunch, sugar plum, the apple of my eye. My rainbow after the rain, the light at the end of a tunnel, the calm after a storm and every good thing in the world.
Buti nalang hindi siya nahatak ng malakas ng wifi at ng poging barista sa kabilang street.
Mas pogi pa ako doon e. Walang halong joke.
"Yong!"
I was brought back to reality when someone called my name.
Hindi ko namalayan na nasa tapat na pala ako ng counter. Nakaka-distract kasi yung ganda niya.
"Ang lakas ng boses mo, naririnig naman kita." Reklamo ko sa barista na nasa harap ko, which is also my not so good friend - Sela Sevilleja.
"Ilang beses na kaya kitang tinatawag, tulala ka lang diyan." Inirapan naman ako nito.
Kung 'di ko lang talaga kaibigan 'to, ni-report ko na siya sa manager niya.
"Sino ba kasing tinitig-" she slightly bent forward para sundan yung tingin ko kanina, but I immediately pushed her back to her place.
"'Wag mo nang tignan, baka mapansin tayo." Saway ko sa kanya, at lumingon ulit sa direksyon na tinitignan ko kanina.
Buti nalang at busy siya sa laptop niya kaya hindi niya kami napansin.
"Si 'Ms. Coffee shop goer, but not coffee drinker' pala." At nabigyan na nga niya ng nickname. Pero mas maganda parin 'yung akin.
"Hindi parin ba siya nag-order ng drink?" I curiously asked. Good thing, wala nang nakasunod sa akin sa pila kaya pwede ko'ng chikahin si Sela.
She just shook her head no.
"Nag-recommend narin ako sa kanya ng drink kanina, pero 'No thank you' daw at cake lang ulit inorder." I was kind of disappointed sa sagot niya, but I expected narin naman.
"Hindi niyo ba talaga hinihingi 'yung name kapag cake lang yung inorder?" I genuinely asked.
"Beh, coffee shop 'to hindi red ribbon, baka nakakalimutan mo. Saan naman namin ilalagay yung pangalan nila sa cake aber?" she responded with sarcasm.
I just sighed in defeat.
"Ba't 'di mo nalang kase deretsuhin at itanong 'yung pangalan niya," she continued, ramdam ko narin yung frustration niya, "Kaysa sa hinuhulaan mo, e malay mo ba kung out of this world sa sobrang unique 'yung name niya? Mauuna pang mamuti 'yung mata mo kaysa sa mahulaan pangalan niya beh."
I do not entertain this negative energy, pero mukhang unti-unti na akong tinatamaan ng katotohanan sa mga sinabi niya.
Ilang araw ko na kasing hinuhulaan 'yung name niya. I have been picking random names that suits her at 'yun ang pinapalagay ko sa coffee cup ko, in hope of getting her attention kapag tama 'yung nahulaan ko.
Oo, ganon ako ka-torpe.
And so far, wala pa'ng tumatama sa mga hula ko.
"So, what's your name for today?" dinig ko'ng sabi ni Sela na hawak nang coffee cup at marker, naka-ready na para isulat yung pangalan na sasabihin ko.
I tried to recall the name I thought of kanina bago ako matawag sa recitation, at nakalimutan ko na nga. Kasalanan 'to ni Atty. e.
"Ah!" I jolted when I finally remembered the name.
"Mary kaya?" I suggested to Sela, who iss looking at me weirdly. "Tutal kamukha niya si Mama Mary. Baka nung pinanganak siya ng mama niya, may mga anghel na bumaba dahil sa ganda niya." Pagpapatuloy ko, and Sela gave me a disgusted look.
"Yong, sa sobrang yaman niyo hindi mo talaga afford magpa-check up?" Sela looks so done right now, pero alam ko namang mahal ako nito kahit suplada siya.
"Sige na, Sela. Seryoso nga ako, feeling ko ito na 'yon." I plead.
Inirapan lang ako ni Sela bago niya isulat yung Mary sa coffee cup ko.
"'Yan din ang sinabi mo kahapon, bading." Sabi niya nang ilapag ang coffee cup sa gilid para simulan nang gawin yung drink ko.
"Kapag 'yan tumama, ililibre kita ng kahit anong gusto mo." Pangako ko sa kanya. Pero mukhang hindi naman siya natuwa sa sinabi ko, kahit gusto niya sa libre.
"Kapag ito mali parin, 'wag ka nang magpapakita sa akin." Malditang sagot niya.
I just made a face at Sela at dumeretso na ako sa favorite spot ko - at the other corner adjacent to her spot, where I get a clear view of her.
I know I sound like a stalker, but I'm not. I only get to see her in this coffee shop. I do not follow her around, and I don't think I can come near her because firstly, I respect her privacy and secondly, I do not have the guts to do so. Let alone breathe next to her.
I just admire her from a distance.
I still remember the first time I saw her, two weeks ago.
Lagi kasi akong dumederetso dito sa shop right after my class, unless may kailangan akong puntahan. But it has been my routine to grab my coffee after a stressful day at bonus narin yung maka-chikahan ko si Sela kapag break time niya.
And two weeks ago, I saw this unfamiliar face. She was seated on the corner of the caf�, staring blankly at her laptop. At first, I assumed na napadaan lang siya or naki-wifi lang kaya I immediately shrugged the thought of her.
It was just a random pretty stranger that I'd never see again so, I won't bother.
But then I saw her again the next day.
Nakasalubong ko siya sa pinto. Papasok ako ng shop at palabas naman siya. I got to open the door for her kahit sobrang gulat ako sa sobrang lapit niya sa akin.
She muttered a small 'Thank you' to me before rushing her way out of the caf�.
Ayun, si bakla natulala.
Nung nag thank you siya sa akin, imbes na 'You're welcome' sabihin ko, nag 'Thank you' din ako pabalik.
Don't laugh at me because I respect gorgeous women. Hindi ko deserve ang 'Thank you' niya.
However, even after that small encounter, nasa isip ko parin na baka napadaan lang ulit siya. At hindi na babalik.
But joke's on me, bumalik siya the next day and she was seated on the same spot I saw her for the first time.
I guess, third time's a charm kaya do'n na ako naglakas ng loob na tanungin yung pangalan niya kay Sela.
Kaso hindi niya daw alam dahil hindi pa siya nag-oorder ng any kind of drink at puro cake at bread lang. Napansin ko din na lagi siyang may dalang tumbler which I assume was either water or fruit drink.
At first, na wierdohan ako kasi bakit siya nasa coffee shop kung hindi naman siya coffee drinker. But I'm not the one to complain because I appreciate her presence here.
That day I tried my first attempt of guessing her name, instead of just asking.
Alam ko'ng sobrang liit ng chance na mahulaan ko yung name niya, pero sa ngalan ng patron ng mga torpe umaasa parin ako.
Hindi ko din alam kung saan nanggaling yung confidence ko na nasa panig ko si kupido, because so far he's been failing me.
And here's another attempt.
Nang mapansin ko'ng patapos na yung drink ko at tinignan narin ako ni Sela ng masama, it's my cue to observe her reaction.
"Coffee for Mary!" dinig kong sigaw ni Sela.
But she did not even move an inch nung tinawag yung name. Baka hindi lang niya masyadong narinig dahil nasa dulong part siya ng shop.
Kaya sinenyasan ko si Sela na tawagin pa niya for the second time nang mas malakas. Inirapan lang niya ako.
"COFFEE FOR MARY!" sigaw niya ulit na may konting inis na.
Dahil sa sobrang lakas ng sigaw niya, hindi lang yung atensyon na gusto kong makuha ang nakuha niya. But all the people inside as well as the employees looked at her in surprise.
Calling it another failed attempt, I walked towards the counter in shame.
I can feel all the eyes following me as I walk.
"Muntik na akong mapa-sign of the cross sa pag-sigaw ng name na 'yan. Wag ka na talaga magpapakita sakin Yong." Pabulong na sabi ni Sela sa akin nang iabot niya sa akin yung drink.
I just scratched the back of my head in embarrassment.
I guess I still haven't earned cupid's arrow.
____________________
The next day, after an exhausting review class for our Taxation subject. Nag-aya yung mga classmates ko na mag-night out, para daw ibuhos yung frustrations namin. Buti nalang Friday na, walang pasok bukas kaya pwede kaming gumala.
I was actually planning to go straight sa coffee shop because I was craving for some coffee. Yes, coffee lang. Na may konting sulyap kay crush.
Pero sino ba naman ako para tumanggi sa alak?
"Oh kanino na yung ikot?" dinig kong tanong ni Janna- my academic rival since high school, Janna Robles.
Mukha lang loko-loko 'to, which is totoo naman na loko-loko siya pero matalino 'yan. Pero lamang parin naman ako kahit na mas paborito siya ni Atty. dahil ang dami niyang sinasabi kapag recitation.
"Kay Yong na." nagulat naman ako nang bigla nanamang nabanggit yung pangalan ko.
"Anong ako?" mabilis kong sabi, "Kakatapos ko lang ah." Reklamo ko.
Mga nagtatapon na ata ng alak ang mga 'to ah.
"Ayan si Shan oh, nag-cr kanina 'yan nung turn na niya." Sabay turo ko kay Shan na nakasandal na kay Gill. Halatang tinatamaan na ng alak itong isang 'to. Mahinang nilalang.
"Hoy! Shanaiah Louise Catacutan. Tama na 'yang paglalandian niyo ni Gill, ang sakit na sa mata please lang." Inirapan siya ni Janna, sabay abot ng shot glass.
"Pwede mag shut up nalang yung mga bitter diyan?" Ganti naman ni Shan, bago tunggain yung alak.
Napangiwi nalang ito sa tama ng alak.
"Siya nga pala, Yong." Napalingon naman ako kay Janna nang bigla niya akong kinalabit.
"May hindi ka na-kkwento sa amin ah." Pagpapatuloy nito.
Napakunot naman ako ng noo sa sinabi niya. Anong hindi na-kkwento?
"Pinagsasabi mo?" I scoffed.
"Marione Lim, 'wag ka nang mag maang-maangan diyan. Sinabi na sa akin ni Sela," why am I not surprised. "Kaya pala lagi kang dumederetso sa coffee shop, para makita yung bago mo'ng interest. Ikaw ah."
"Akala ko sa utang lang may interest, meron narin pala sa coffee shop. Grabe ka na Yong." Dagdag pa ni Shan.
Unti-unti ko nang pinagsisisihan na sumama ako ngayon.
Dapat pala pumunta nalang ako sa coffee shop, sumaya pa sana ako.
"Dahan-dahan naman sa mga pinagsasabi niyo, nandito si Denise oh." Pag-saway naman ni Gill sa dalawa.
Nabaling naman ang atensyon naming lahat kay Denise.
"Baliw! Okay lang 'no." she awkwardly laughed. "Matagal na akong naka move on kay Yong." Dagdag pa nito, sabay inom ng alak.
It wasn't even her turn yet.
I'm aware of Denise having a crush on me, since she's been so vocal about it. We just haven't had the opportunity to talk about it, dahil nasa same circle of friends kami and we thought that time will eventually change her feelings. But looking at her right now, hindi parin siya komportable sakin.
I mean, she's beautiful, smart, kind and she's really hot. Ang dami rin nagkakagusto sa kanya from both gender. But, I just like her as my friend. I wanted to keep it that way.
"Denise." I called out.
I need to clear everything between us, once and for all. Ayoko kasing may awkward feeling between us lalo na nasa same circle kami.
"Hmm?" She looked at me, surprised.
"Do you wanna grab some coffee?" I offered.
They were all surprised by my sudden invitation. Lalo na si Denise, hindi ko alam kung epekto lang ng alcohol sa katawan niya pero sobrang pula na niya.
"S-sure." She responded.
We both stood up from our seat at dinig ko ang kantyawan ng mga kaibigan namin. Mga bunganga talaga ng mga 'to e.
Tinignan ko nalang sila ng masama pabalik bago kami tuluyang makalabas ni Denise.
"Mga loko-loko talaga." I scoffed as I glance at Denise who slightly lost her balance. Buti nalang nasalo ko agad.
"Oh, careful." I said as I was holding her arm. "Okay ka lang? Balik nalang tayo sa loob, if 'di mo na kaya." I suggested, but she quickly shook her head in response.
"No, I'm okay. Let's grab some coffee." She said and allowed me to lead the way.
"Sure ka ba?" Paninigurado ko. Naka-ilang shot ba 'to?
"Yeah, let's go." Wala na akong nagawa kundi sundin yung gusto niya. Ako din naman ang nag-aya in the first place.
Buti nalang malapit lang dito yung coffee shop kaya nilakad nalang namin. It's almost 11 PM, at hanggang 12 am yung shop kaya madalas tambayan ng mga bangag galing sa inuman yung caf�- tulad namin.
While we were walking, I suddenly felt a pair of arms wrap around my left arm. I flinched at the contact but I eventually settled after seeing Denise support herself with my arm. Isa pa 'tong mahinang nilalang.
"Is she pretty?" Napalingon ako kay Denise nang bigla siyang magsalita.
"Hmm?" Mahina ko'ng sagot.
"Your new interest," she said as she looked up to me before proceeding, "Is she pretty?"
I don't know if this is a trap, but I guess I'll just answer with honesty.
"Yeah." I smiled at her, in which she reciprocated.
"Of course she is," she scoffed, "You're Marione Lim, and you have your standards."
Napatigil ako sa pag-lalakad dahil sa sinabi niya.
Napahinto rin siya at humarap sa akin, habang nakahawak parin siya sa braso ko.
"Don't start with that, please." I plead.
"Why?" she giggled.
"I'm just telling the truth, that you have your standards and it's just unfortunate of me to not meet those standards." I'm not sure if it's because of the alcohol, but it looks like she's speaking her heart out and I don't like what I'm hearing.
"Denise," I held both of her arms and looked at her eyes, "You're beautiful, you're smart, kind and I don't know if it's appropriate to say this but I-I t-think you're hot." I had to break the eye contact because of embarrassment.
Natawa naman si Denise sa inasta ko, kaya natawa narin ako.
"But seriously, what I really want to point out is that you're beautiful just the way you are, so you don't have to meet those stupid standards." I explained.
"I mean, if we're being honest here, you're one of THE standard but," I paused for a few seconds, collecting my thoughts and hoping that I get to deliver them properly.
"But?" Denise said in anticipation.
"But, you know how the heart works right?" I said, and she just nodded in response.
"If we're too reckless with love, it can get out of hand and we may lose what we have." I added. Denise was just quietly listening.
"So, I hope you can recognize that this isn't me rejecting you and your love, because I really appreciate you."
"But, this is me trying not to lose you," I sincerely said, "You're a good friend of mine, and I want to keep you in my life." I smiled at her but I received a punch on my arm.
"Aray!" reklamo ko.
"Kaya ang hirap maka-move on sayo e!" sagot niya nang pagalit, but in a nice manner.
"Sobrang green flag mo." She pouted, and I just had to laugh at her reaction.
"Sorry na." I gently said, habang natatawa parin.
Nagpatuloy na kami sa pag-lalakad at naaninag ko narin yung sign ng coffee shop.
"Kung anong kina-red ng buhok mo, 'yun naman ang kina green flag mo. It's very contradicting Yongskie." Dagdag pa niya.
She's calling me again with that jejemon nickname she used to call me. That's when I knew we're okay na.
"Nadamay pa ang buhok ko. Hindi ba pwedeng favorite color ko lang ang red?" Pabiro kong sabi sa kanya at natawa nalang din siya.
Nag-kwentuhan at tawanan lang kami habang nag-lalakad. Inintriga pa niya ako tungkol sa crush ko, kaya wala na akong nagawa kundi i-kwento sa kanya. Nasabihan pa akong torpe. Hindi naman na kailangan ipa-mukha.
But kidding aside, I'm glad that we got to settle the thing between us, and we could finally free ourselves from the awkward tension 'pag magkasama kami.
"We're here." Sabi ko nang makarating kami sa tapat ng coffee shop.
"Tara." I was about to open the door, pero pinigilan ako ni Denise.
Pag-lingon ko sa kanya, nagulat ako nang biglang dumampi yung labi niya sa pisngi ko.
"Thank you," dinig kong sabi niya, "For not rejecting me." And just like that iniwan na niya ako at agad nag-abang ng taxi.
"Bye Yongskie! Good luck!" dinig kong sigaw niya habang paalis yung taxi na sinakyan niya.
What just happened?
Napahawak nalang ako sa cheeks ko sa sobrang confuse.
I froze for a moment.
Is this the alcohol acting up, or it's real?
Bumalik naman ako sa ulirat nang maramdaman kong bumukas ang pintuan ng coffee shop sa likod ko.
At 'yung kiss sa cheeks na inakala ko'ng pinaka-nasurprise ako sa araw na ito, may ilalala pa pala.
Paglingon ko, nakita ko 'yung taong bumubuo ng araw ko lately na hindi ko nakita buong araw.
Parang tumigil 'yung mundo ko ng ilang Segundo at napatulala nalang ako sa kanya.
"Excuse me." Dinig kong sabi niya at nagmamadaling nag-lakad palabas ng shop at nag abang ng taxi.
Hanggang sa maka-alis yung taxi na sinakyan niya, nakasunod lang 'yung tingin ko.
Anong meron sa gabing 'to? Ba't puno ng sorpresa? Mamamatay na ba 'ko? Lord, 'wag muna please. 'Di pa ko nakakapag-confess.
Nagulat naman ako nang bigla kong maramdaman na nag vibrate ang phone ko sa bulsa. I quickly pulled out my phone to check who messaged me at this late hour.
_____
Message
From: Denise
11:09 PM
Good luck sa pag-suyo, Yongskie. If looks could kill me, kanina pa ako patay dahil sa tingin niya kanina.
_____
Napamura nalang ako, pagkabasa ko ng message. Sabi ko na nga ba may something sa kiss na 'yon e. Well, aside from the fact that I kinda liked it. She set me up!
At nakita ng crush ko 'yon?
Kaya ba ganon 'yung tono niya kanina? Parang galit na masungit.
Pero bakit? Ano ngayon kung nakita niya 'yun?
Parang sasabog na 'yung utak ko sa sobrang daming daming nangyare, in just a span of few freaking minutes.
"Hoy bading!" I jolted when Sela suddenly appeared behind me.
"Putik na yan! Isa ka pa!" Napasigaw ako sa gulat, pero tinignan niya lang ako ng masama.
"Oh, ba't damay ako sa init ng ulo mo?" inis na sagot niya.
Imbes na sumagot ako, pumasok nalang ako sa loob ng shop.
Napansin ko'ng wala nang ibang tao sa loob kundi si Sela at ang mga employees na kasama niya.
Ibig-sabihin mag-isa lang siya kanina dito? Sa ganitong oras?
Sa pagkaka-alam ko, hindi pa siya inaabot nang ganito ka late. Madalas nga mas nauuna pa siyang umalis sa akin. Max na yung 7 PM kung gabihin siya.
"'Wag ka nang mag-oorder ng drink ah, tinatamad na ako." Dinig kong sabi ni Sela pagka-upo ko sa bakanteng table.
"Ganyan ka pala mag-trato ng customer mo ah, susumbong kita sa manager mo." Sinundan ko siya ng tingin papunta sa likod ng counter.
Pag-balik niya sa pwesto ko may dala-dala na siyang isang baso ng tubig.
"Sa'yo lang ako ganito." Inirapan niya ako sabay lapag ng tubig sa harapan ko.
"'Yan ang inumin mo," dagdag pa niya at umupo sa upuan na kaharap ko, "Para mapalitan ng tubig 'yang alak sa katawan mo."
"Thank you." Malambing kong sabi, taliwas sa bangayan namin kanina.
Madalas lang kaming mag-bardagulan ni Sela pero alam kong mahal niya ako. Mahal ko din naman siya, kahit nakakasawa siya minsan.
"Kanina pa 'yon dito." Biglang sabi ni Sela after ng konting katahimikan sa pagitan namin.
"Huh?" Maang-maangan ko'ng tanong. Alam ko naman kung sino ang tinutukoy niya.
"Sino pa ba, edi si 'Ms. Coffee shop goer, but not coffee drinker'" sagot ni Sela.
I let out a deep sigh before answering.
"Bakit daw siya ginabi?" I genuinely asked.
"Aba malay ko 'don," mabilis na sagot ni Sela, "Nag-taka nga rin ako, kase siya nalang 'yung natira kanina. Tapos palagi ang tingin niya sa labas, lalo na kapag may dumarating. Parang may hinihintay e."
Ayokong mag-assume at magpaka-delulu, pero mukhang may susuyuin ata ako kahit hindi ko pa jowa.
Is she really waiting for me?
"Tapos pagka-kita niya sa inyo ni Denise sa labas na naglalandian, si ate mo girl agad nag-ligpit ng gamit. Bakit kaya?" Sarcastic na sabi ni Sela. She knows.
Napayuko nalang ako sa table dahil sa kahihiyan. Hindi naman sumakit 'yung ulo ko kanina sa alak, pero sa mga nangyare ngayon parang mabibiyak na 'yung ulo ko sa sobrang sakit.
"Ano ba kasi 'yon? Akala ko ba hindi mo gusto si Denise? Bakit may pa-kiss sa pisngi ang bading?" Sela asked curiously.
"She set me up!" I ranted as I lifted my head up, "I told her about her. E hindi ko naman napansin na nasa loob pala siya." I was so frustrated as I put my head back down.
"Anong gagawin ko, Sela?" I said in a muffled voice.
I felt Sela's hand gently rubbing my head.
"Well, just think of it as a blessing in disguise," I quickly lifter my head off the table, anong blessing in disguise?
"At least, ngayon may dahilan ka na para kausapin siya plus, we can safely assume that you're both on the same page." Napakunot nalang ang noo ko sa mga sinabi ni Sela.
"Yong, kung nakita mo lang 'yung mukha niya kanina habang nag-hihintay. Her face was screaming 'Where's that creepy red haired girl with different names'" Hindi ko alam kung kinukunsinti lang ni Sela yung pagiging delulu ko, pero so far convincing siya.
"So, what should I do? Do I just go to her and explain my side? Hindi ba weird 'yon?" Tuloy-tuloy ko'ng tanong.
Napakamot nalang sa ulo si Sela.
"Yong, paalala ko lang sa'yo ah. You're Marione Lim, THE Marione Lim," Sela said while holding my face between her hands. "You have that charisma within you that everyone find attractive, well except me." Tinignan ko naman siya ng masama.
"But my point is, kahit hindi ka pa mag-salita ang dami nang nagkakagusto sa'yo. Ngayon ka pa ba matotorpe?" she said.
Tinanggal ko naman yung pagka-hawak niya sa mukha ko, dahil pinipisil na niya ito sa sobrang gigil niya.
"This is different kase," I muttered, "She's different from my past interests."
"I feel like, she's way out of my league." I said, looking defeated.
"I guess, it's real this time." Nagtaka naman ako sa sinabi ni Sela.
"What I'm trying to say is that, it's not the typical fling you're looking for," she pointed out, "Totoo na 'yan Yong. Kaya seryosohin mo na."
Sela's words did not allow me to have a peaceful sleep that night. Kahit 'yung epekto ng alak, hindi tumalab sa akin.
Hindi ako makatulog sa sobrang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko, habang binabalikan ko yung mga nanyare sa gabing 'yon.
Kaka-kape ko 'to e.
Nag-iisip narin ako kung ano ang gagawin ko bukas kapag nakita ko ulit siya.
What should I say?
How should I start a conversation?
Paano kung hindi niya ako pansinin?
Baka na turn-off na siya sa akin.
Naka-ilang gulong muna ako sa kama ko bago ako tuluyang nakatulog.
_______
I woke up late the next day.
Nagmamadali akong naligo at nag-ayos because it's almost lunch time na.
Wala kaming pasok sa weekends kaya may time ako para tumambay sa cafe, minsan doon narin ako nag-rereview pero madalas si crush lang ang pinupunta ko don.
As I walked downstairs, I was greeted by a delicious smell coming from the kitchen.
"Wow! Ang sarap niyan ah." Pag-bati ko kay mama, nang sumilip ako sa kusina.
Napalingon naman siya sa akin at magkasalubong na agad ang kilay niya.
"Saan ka nanaman pupunta, Marione?" tanong niya, nang mapansin na naka-gayak na ako.
"Good morning to you too, ma." I replied and kissed her cheek.
Hindi ko na pinansin 'yung tanong niya, at dumeretso na sa fridge para kumuha ng tubig.
"Hindi ka na napirmi sa bahay, Ione." dinig kong sabi ni mama sa likod ko.
"Mag-rereview lang po ako, ma. Malapit na kasi yung pre-board exam namin." I was half telling the truth.
Mabuti parin naman akong estudyante kahit na lumalandi lang ako madalas. 'Landi responsibly' ang motto ng mga bading.
"Siguraduhin mo lang na nag-aaral ka talaga ah," she said, nang humarap na ako sa kanya, "You don't want to disappoint you dad again, Marione."
Here we go again. It's the primary reason why I wanted to be away from home as much as possible.
"Alis na ako, ma." Paalam ko, at humalik ulit bago ako tuluyang umalis.
I have to eliminate this negative energy, dahil may mas importante akong agenda today - kausapin si crush.
_____
As soon as I entered the coffee shop, my eyes automatically searched for a specific person.
But her usual spot was empty.
Maaga pa naman kaya hindi naman ako na disappoint.
Dumeretso nalang ako sa counter para mag-order ng lunch, and I was greeted by a different server.
"Good day, Ma'am. What's your order?" the employee greeted.
I looked over the counter para hanapin si Sela, but there's no sign of her near the counter.
"Si Sela?" tanong ko sa employee.
"Po?" she replied with confusion.
"Si Sela, hindi ba siya naka-duty ngayon?"
"Ahh, si ate Sela po nakipag-switch po siya. Bale mamaya pa po'ng gabi yung shift niya, Ma'am." she replied.
Hindi man lang niya ako sinabihan.
Nag-order nalang ako ng pasta 'yung usual coffee ko, at dumeretso na sa pwesto ko.
Mag-rereview na muna siguro ako habang nag-hihintay.
Every time I hear the chimes from the door, I automatically divert my attention to the person entering the cafe. I tried to focus sa nirereview ko pero kada maririnig ko 'yung pinto, na-didistract ako.
When the clock strikes 4PM, I was expecting for her arrival. She usually go here around this hour, baka na-traffic lang.
Naka-order na ko ng meryenda at I'm currently on my second coffee. But there's still no sign of her.
Around 6PM, narinig ko ulit yung pagbukas ng pinto and I was saying a silent prayer na sana siya na 'to.
'Sana siya na'
But to my disappointment, it wasn't her.
"Oh ba't parang dismayado ka na dumating ako?" pagbati sa akin ng kararating lang na si Sela.
Hindi ko siya pinansin at binaling nalang yung atensyon ko sa nirereview ko.
"Hinihintay mo siya 'no?" dinig kong sabi ni Sela nang umupo siya sa harapan ko.
"Mukhang hindi siya pupunta ngayon." I let out a deep sigh of disappointment.
"Ang nega mo naman, baka may inasikaso lang." Sela mentioned, trying to lift my spirit.
"Paano kung hindi nga siya dumating?" sagot ko.
"Then, try again tomorrow." she replied.
"What if, hindi na siya bumalik?" Unti-unti nang nag-ssink in sa akin at na realize ko na sana naglakas na ako ng loob noon, hindi sana ako nagkakaganito ngayon.
"Yong, makinig ka sa akin," Sela looked at me intently, "Babalik 'yon."
Hindi ko alam kung anong meron sa mga words ni Sela, pero sobrang na convince niya ako na babalik siya.
Kaya bumalik din ako.
The next day, I waited for her again. I may not be sure of what I would do when she actually showed up, but at least I'm sure about my intention this time.
Kaya kahit hindi ko parin siya nakita noong araw na 'yon. Bumalik parin ako.
I guess I'm really down bad for her. Kase normally, I would just let it go sa ilang oras lang na pag-hintayin ako. Pero, iba 'to. I really have the strong urge to pursue her.
______
Tuesday
4:17 PM
"Sabi ko na nga ba, ako ang bunot ni Atty. ngayon e. Hindi pa naman ako nag-review." inis na sabi ni Shan habang naglalakad kami sa hallway palabas ng school.
"Ayan ang napapala ng mga inuuna ang landi kaysa pag-aaral." pang-aasar naman ni Janna.
Sinimulan nanaman nila.
"Dalhin nalang natin sa inuman 'to oh, ipakita mo nalang angas mo sa bar Janna." Pag-aamok naman ni Shan.
"G! Tara, tutal nag-cancel ng class yung taxation." Pag-aya ni Janna sa amin.
"Pass ako diyan. May pupuntahan ako." I refused, sabay-sabay naman silang nag-react na parang hindi makapaniwala.
"Totoo ba 'yung naririnig ko? Tumanggi sa alak si Yong?" pabirong sabi ni Shan.
"May sakit ka ba, Yong?" ginatungan pa ni Janna, sabay hawak pa noo ko pero agad ko namang tinabig ito.
"Baliw! Igaya niyo pa ako sa inyong matakaw sa alak," I replied in annoyance, "Sige na, mauna na ako." paalam ko at wala narin silang nagawa nang tumakbo ako palabas ng school.
Nilakad ko nalang 'yung coffee shop mula sa school dahil ilang street lang naman ang pagitan.
I was once again greeted by the healing aroma of roasted coffee and the calming sound of jazz music. Hindi ko mapigilang mapangiti.
Nang makapasok ako nang tuluyan, agad hinanap ng mata ko yung spot na sa tatlong araw ay kung hindi bakante ay mga hindi pamilyar na mukha ang nakaupo.
But to my surprise, the spot wasn't empty nor it was occupied by unfamiliar faces.
My eyes met two familiar orbs that I haven't seen for the past few days. She's here, and she's staring back at me.
I froze for a moment, and I felt my heart skip a beat before its rhythm erratically changed.
She's here.
After a few seconds, she's the first one to break the eye contact and diverted her attention to her laptop.
I was smiling like a fool as I walked towards the counter.
"Mukha ka'ng tanga." pagbati sa akin ni Sela.
Buti nalang nandito na yung crush ko, at gumanda na ang araw ko. Kung hindi, baka 'di ko na matantya 'tong si Sela.
"Thank you." I replied with sarcasm.
Tinawanan lang niya ako.
"Anong order mo? Wala kaming gamot sa katorpehan ah. At lalong wala kaming pampalakas ng loob." Sabi niya habang natatawa.
Talagang sinusubukan niya ang pasensya ko.
"Pasalamat ka nandito yung crush ko ngayon, baka 'di na kita na-tantya diyan." pagbabanta ko kay Sela, pero tinawanan lang niya ako ulit.
"Oh easy, titigil na nga e," sabi niya habang nagpipigil ng tawa, "Anong order mo?"
"'Yung usual lang." tipid ko'ng sagot.
"Sana naman maayos na 'yung naisip mo'ng pangalan, kase last na talaga 'to at itutulak na kita sa kanya." dinig ko'ng sabi ni Sela habang nag-hihintay ng pangalan na sasabihin ko.
"Marione." I quickly said that made Sela look at me with amusement.
"Tumatapang na ang manok ko ah." she slightly nudged my shoulder teasingly.
"Shut up." mahina ko'ng sabi.
"But seriously, I'm rooting for you bestie," she muttered, writing my name on the coffee cup, "Iwagayway mo ang bandera ng mga bading at mga torpe." she added.
"Sira." I scoffed, at dumeretso na sa pwesto ko.
I glanced at the corner of the cafe and smiled.
How can someone be so beatiful and gorgeous at the same time, just by sitting there?
I just know that God was in a good mood and took His precious time when He created her.
Siya ang patunay na totoo ang Diyos.
It didn't take that long before I heard my name.
"Coffee for Marione Lim!" I heard Sela call out.
I immediately stood up from my seat and walked towards the counter.
"Sana binanggit mo narin middle name ko, nahiya ka pa." sabi ko kay Sela at inirapan siya.
"Oh shux! Oo nga 'no?" she acted surprised.
"'Di bale, may next time pa naman." dagdag pa niya.
Akala ko AudProb lang 'yung magpapa-init ng ulo ko. Mas malala pa pala 'tong kaibigan ko.
Kaibigan pa ba 'to?
Kahit na gusto ko pa siyang sagutin, nag-pigil nalang ako at bumalik sa table ko. Next time ko nalang din ibubuhos yung inis ko sa kanya. Hindi pwedeng masira ang good mood ko today.
Pag-balik ko sa table, pa-simple akong sumulyap sa direksyon niya at nagulat ako nang mag-tama ang mga tingin namin.
Sa akin ba siya naka-tingin?
I looked behind my back to check if I am not mistaken or just assuming things. But, there's nothing interesting around me that would catch her attention.
I brought my attention back to her, and she's still looking at me. I can't read her facial expression, so I just smiled at her.
Pero umiwas siya ng tingin nung nginitian ko siya.
Ang sakit mo na crush.
Pero, hindi ako naghintay ng tatlong araw para sumuko.
Lord, pasensya na kung hindi talaga siya 'yung inilaan mo para sa akin. Pero, ako na mag-dedesisyon. Kaya ko na 'to, Lord. Akin na 'to.
Kaya kahit kabado, hinugot ko na lahat ng lakas ng loob na inipon ko sa tatlong araw.
I took a deep breath before I stand up from my seat, holding my coffee cup in hand. I slowly walked towards her direction, squeezing into the chairs and tables on my way.
My eyes were just fixated on her.
Palapit ng palapit.
Sumasabay sa bigat ng mga yabag ko ang tibok ng puso ko.
Kailangan ko na talagang mag-bawas ng kape sa sistema ko.
When I was just one table away from her, an unfortunate event happened.
"Oh my God!"
"I'm so sorry, miss."
A woman suddenly got up from her seat and accidentally bumped into me and spilled my drink over my shirt.
Kapag minamalas ka nga naman oh.
May ginawa ba akong masama sa previous life ko para parusahan ako ng ganito?
I just froze at that moment.
Hindi ko na ininda yung init ng kape kase nanlamig na 'yung buong katawan ko nang mapansin ko'ng nakatingin siya sa akin.
She was looking at m worriedly.
Kaya imbes na magalit ako, napangiti nalang ako sa kanya.
Tama nga siguro si Sela, mukha akong tanga.
"I-it's okay, miss." I politely said to the woman.
She's saying sorry repeatedly until I excused myself to go to the bathroom to clean up.
Nang dumaan ako sa table niya, napansin ko'ng naka-tingin parin siya sa akin at mukhang nag-aalala.
Kaya ngumiti nalang ako sa kanya para iparating na okay lang ako.
'Okay lang ako, baby ko. Hintayin mo lang ako diyan.'
Nagmamadali akong pumasok sa banyo at hinugasan yung nabasang parte ng t-shirt ko. Buti nalang black 'yung suot ko, kaya hindi masyadong halata kahit na amoy kape ako hanggang mamaya.
After a few minutes, when I was done wiping the stain off of my shirt, I checked myself out on the mirror.
I think, I look decent enough to meet her.
For the second time, I took a deep breath and recovered the courage I collected earlier.
Cupid, please be on my side this time.
Paglabas ko ng cr, agad hinanap ng mga mata ko 'yung pwesto niya.
But, I was disappointed when I found it empty.
I walked towards her table and even her things were gone. Umalis na siya?
I looked around to check if she just switch spots, but she's nowhere inside the coffee shop.
Dismayado akong umupo sa inuupuan niya kanina at napayuko nalang.
Is this a sign from God and Cupid that she's not intended for me?
Should I blame the woman who accidentally spilled my drink?
Or the timing?
If I was walking a little too fast, maybe I got to her table before the woman stood up from her seat.
Or was it just me all along?
It's me and my never ending excuses and hesitations.
Kung nilapitan ko na siya noon pa man, hindi na sana ako umabot sa ganito.
I was so close to breaking down, when I noticed a small piece of paper tucked into the tiny plant decoration on the table.
________
?Note
Hi, Red haired girl! I'm sorry for what happened. I hope you're okay :)
P.s Arianne might be a good name for your next coffee cup. You might wanna try it for your next one ;)
- Your not so secret admirer
_________
Am I reading this correctly?
It took me a few seconds before it sinked in.
I jolted from my seat and ran towards the door.
Sana hindi pa siya nakalayo.
Lumingon ako sa kaliwa't kanan ng side walk para hanapin siya.
Sa dami ng mga taong dumadaan, mula sa magkabilang direksyon. Nahanap agad ng mga mata ko ang pamilyar niyang pigura.
Tumakbo ako papalapit sa kanya habang dahan dahan siyang naglalakad papalayo.
"Miss!" I shouted once, while I was running towards her.
She didn't bother stopping.
"Miss!" I shouted for the second time, but she just continued walking.
When I was just a few meters away from her, I shouted again.
"Arianne!" I stopped in my track and placed both my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath.
She finally looked back.
Smiling at me.
She wasn't even surprised, like she was expecting me.
I smiled back in relief.
Nang unti-unti nang naging normal ang pag-hinga ko, dahan-dahan akong lumapit sa kanya.
"H-hi." I muttered while still catching my breath.
"Hi." she replied with a smile.
Ang ganda niya.
"I-i saw your note." I mentioned, holding my right hand to show her the note.
She nodded, acknowledging my remark.
"Sorry, I didn't know how to address you," she said, scratching her forehead, "You've been giving different names for your coffee cup. Anya, Bea, Thea, Mary?" I was stunned when she almost mentioned all the names I randomly put on my coffee cup.
"You remember each name?" I said in amusement.
"Well, I've been taking notes hehe."
So, we're really on the same page.
"Sorry if I confused you," I shyly said, "I was just trying to figure out your name." I suddenly found the floor interesting. Bato pala 'to?
"Yeah, I know." she replied, smiling at me.
"Alam mo?" Nanlaki ang mata ko sa gulat.
She nodded yes in response.
"All this time, alam mo na pala 'yung ka-torpehan ko." I scratch the back of my head in embarrassment.
"Ang cute kaya." Napatingin ako sa kanya, at naramdaman ko'ng uminit 'yung mukha ko. Mas mainit pa sa kape na nabuhos sa akin.
Cute daw ako. Wala na, mahal ko na talaga siya.
"I was actually confused at first," dinig kong sabi niya nang hindi ako nakapag-salita, "Pero after some time, I noticed your quick glances lalo na kapag tinatawag 'yung 'names' mo."
Napatakip nalang ako ng mukha sa sobrang hiya.
Ba't ba kase natatanggal angas ko sa mga magaganda?
"Huy, okay ka lang?" hinawakan niya yung kamay ko na nakatakip sa mukha ko.
I then removed my hands and forced a smile.
Wala nang saysay kung ngayon pa ako mahihiya, nagawa ko na e.
I wiped my cold hands on my shirt before offering it forward.
"I'm Marione." I said, formally introducing myself.
"But you can call me Yours," pabiro ko'ng sabi, "I mean, Yong."
She giggled before shaking my hand.
Ganito pala tumawa si Mama Mary.
"Arianne," she replied, "Yan nalang."
Yong and Yan.
Kabahan na ang DongYan.
"Uhm, do you wanna grab some dinner?" I offered after we shook hands. Hindi ko alam kung saan galing 'yung lakas ng loob ko para tanungin 'yon.
Pansin ko 'yung gulat sa mukha niya dahil sa biglaang tanong ko.
"S-sorry, masyado bang mabi-"
"No," pag-putol niya sa sinasabi ko, "I mean, sure. Let's grab some dinner." mabilis niyang sabi.
Napangiti naman ako agad sa sagot niya. Akala ko bagsak na agad ako e.
"May alam akong masarap na kainan sa kabilang street lang, kung gusto mo lakarin nalang natin." I suggested.
"Sure, I like that." she replied with a smile.
I like you.
I switched spot with her, walking on the side of the road where cars are passing by.
Napalingon ako sa kanya, and she's smiling.
To lessen the awkwardness between us, I started a conversation.
"Bakit ka nga pala laging nasa coffee shop, kahit na hindi ka naman nag o-order ng coffee?" Hindi ko na napigilang itanong.
Natawa naman siya sa tanong ko.
"I was actually trying different places sa area na 'to, since kakalipat ko lang last month." sabi niya.
Kaya pala recently ko lang siya nakita.
"And I was finding an inspiration for my new book, because I was struggling with writer's block." she explained.
"You're an author?" I said, astounded.
"Not yet, but an aspiring one," she replied, "I haven't published a book yet. But with my newly found inspiration, I think I'm a step closer to being an author." she continued.
"That's awesome." I remarked.
I was thinking of something a little crazy and delusional, but my mouth just had to betray me with this one.
"So," I started, "Is it safe to assume that your newly found inspiration is," I then pointed at myself.
She let out a laugh in disbelief.
"Ang kapal ah." dinig kong sabi niya habang natatawa parin.
"Oh," I stopped in my track and so did she, anticipating.
"You didn't deny it." I said teasingly.
"Ewan ko sayo." At nagpatuloy na siya sa paglalakad, at naiwan akong nakatayo.
Hindi naman pinalampas ng mata ko yung ngiti niya kahit nakatalikod na siya.
"Wait for me." I said before running after her.
Nang makalapit na ako sa kanya, tinignan ko siya at nginitian bago mag-focus sa nilalakaran ko.
"So, what's the title of your story?" I genuinely asked.
She glanced at me and took a moment to think before answering.
"I've had a few on my list, but I think I know what suits it the most." She remarked.
I was just looking at her in anticipation.
"Coffee Cup." she simply said, and smiled at me.
I felt like I was catching butterflies in my stomach.
I just had to smile at her in admiration.
All this time, I thought I wasn't trying hard enough to earn Cupid's arrow.
But I didn't realized, he was on our side all along.
-- COFFEE CUP --