Hi my name is Allison this is the story of me and my best friend Maggie. It starts how every story starts: two kids meeting by chance. From the moment we met, we were best friends, although we could not be more different. I guess that's what makes friendships like ours so great. Our differences, we learn and grow from each other. Maggie and I have been friends for years. That is until the summer of my seventeenth birthday when everything changed.
I live in a small town consisting of one main street and dirt roads that lead to the tiny houses we call home. Everyone knows everyone and everyone talks. Everybody goes to church on Sunday morning and listens to what the pastor has to say. He pretty much runs this town. Although, I often find myself wondering how much of what he says is actually God's will and how much is him laying down his own rules for the town. Either way, our town works for the most part. Everyone seems happy in our modest ways and even if they weren't, they wouldn't dare say so. It's a beautiful town with a rich history. Is it perfect? No, but it's home, and it's my safe place. ?Maybe if she saw it the way I did, everything would still be the same: typical, and expectant.
Every morning started the same: same white blouse buttons up to my neck, a tan skirt so long it dusts the floor as I walk, and my signature sleek ponytail that my mom insists I wear to, as she says, "look more put together."? I would then head to the park bench where I would meet Maggie so we could make our daily walk to school together. ?I was always excited for Maggie to be the first thing I saw waiting at the bench?. She would always be dressed the same as me but somehow managed to look so different, so unique, so Maggie. Her top button was always undone, her long tan skirt usually had a small tear on the side that caused it to slightly fray, and her curly blond hair was down and gently blew in the breeze. When we would get to school, the teachers would say some smart remark about her appearance as they did everyday, but Maggie never cared. That girl is a free spirit. While I have always been happy in our little town, Maggie always felt boxed in. She was always telling me that she wanted to see the world and be free. ?I usually ignored her antics, telling her that she needed to learn to be content in our little town. This usually resulted in an eye roll on her part, boy do I miss even those small gestures from someone I loved so dearly.
Everyday after school, we would go to the small bed and breakfast that my parents have owned since I was a baby and work on homework. By that I mean I do two sets of homework and Maggie stares out the window or talks to the few guests that the bed and breakfast gets. Sometimes when the guests go into town, Maggie would sneak into their rooms and look through their things. She never took anything she was just curious to see how other people lived. As many times as I told her not to, that it was a bad idea, I always ended up going with her. Not to see the things in the travelers suitcases, but to hear the stories that Maggie would make up to go with their belongings. Whether it be that the diamond necklace sitting on the dresser belonged to a princess traveling to meet her future prince, or the muddy boots in the closet belonged to a murderer on the run looking to start a fresh life out on the west coast, she would paint a picture that's captivating. She made me want to know these people, to know their stories, their real stories instead of the ones Maggie dreamt up. She dreams of things that I could never think of. So while I would sit and do our math homework, she would always be on an adventure in a different world, a world that I would be too afraid to ever step foot in.
That is only one of the many ways that Maggie and I differ, her lack of fear. As kids, there was never a tree too tall to climb or a dare too daring to take for Maggie. Unlike myself who always needed to be safely on the ground and in fear of what others may say. While I never wanted to disappoint my teachers, pastor or parents, Maggie never wanted to disappoint herself. She never wanted to look back on anything and say “I wish I did that, I should have taken that risk.” So, Maggie did everything, living to never regret her choices. She lived life to the fullest and never held herself back. Sure. she would get in trouble but she always insisted it was worth it in the end.
My parents love Maggie, but I know they are glad that her wild ways have never rubbed off on me and always stayed their “good well-behaved little girl.” If they only knew how much I wished I was brave enough to be like Maggie. Maggie's mother knew who Maggie was, and she accepted it from a young age. Maybe because she saw herself in Maggie, a free spirit always waiting for a new adventure. Maggie's mother is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in person, way too pretty for our small town. Maggie always brags about the attention her mom gets on the street, although I am not sure it is always positive attention. I think that Maggie likes to imagine another man finding something special in her mom. Maggie’s father passed away when she was a child, leaving her and her mother on their own. She insisted that she was happy and didn't need anyone to take care of her, but there were a few times that I would hear her crying on the other side of Maggie’s bedroom wall. Maggie would always be out on some adventure while her mom was crying, and I never bothered to tell her about it for fear it would ruin the image of her strong mother. Sometimes I think that image is the reason Maggie pushes herself to act so brave.
One afternoon, Maggie and I were sitting at the ice cream shop when we overheard Angelica, the girl that works behind the counter, talking to a boy we had never seen before. Angelica was a year older than us and reminds me so much of Maggie. She always showed a little more skin than everyone else, talked a little louder and moved a little faster. Other than their age, they were one in the same. I spent many afternoons sitting at the little tables in the icecream shop listening to Maggie and Angelica talk about their dreams for the future. Things that amazed me and terrified me at the same time. Angelica introduced us to the boy at the counter, his name is Ben. He was gorgeous, he had sandy blond hair that was a little unkempt, but in a good way. He had gentle green eyes that looked right at you. He always wore a smooth smile across his face. He was the kind of boy that I would never be able to talk to. Of course, Maggie walked right over that afternoon, sat down, and took a bite of his half eaten ice cream sundae. He seemed to like her confidence, and confided in her as they sat in a booth together. Ben and his friends were just passing through our little town on the way up North. Angelica and Ben told us how a train was coming into town tonight and a group of kids were hopping it and getting out of this town. As the words were coming out of their mouths, I saw Maggie's face light up. They explained how they are going to take the train and see the country, that they would only stop when need be and find jobs to earn enough money to get them to their next destination. I looked at Maggie’s glistening eyes and needed no explanation: she would be going on that train.
That night, I stood in Maggie's room watching her pack a bag and desperately trying to talk her out of leaving. Every time I gave her a reason to stay, she gave me two reasons why she had to leave. I knew I was only wasting my breath, but I couldn't let my best friend leave me without putting up a fight. She tried to convince me to go with her, but we both knew that would never happen. The whole world could know that was a risk I was never going to take. She quickly scribbled on a paper and handed it to me, telling me to give it to her mother. I slowly unfurled the crumpled paper. It said that she would be safe and that she would write often, that she loves her but has to leave, that she needs to see the world, that she needs to breath and can't be fenced in any longer. As much as I knew it would break her mother's heart to have her go, a part of me felt that she would understand. She knew that one day Maggie would eventually scratch that itch to leave this town.
I walked with Maggie to the train station that night in silence, neither of us sure what to say to the other. As we neared the train, she assured me that this wasn’t goodbye and that she would return. However, I knew in my heart that once she stepped foot into a new world, our town would be too small and safe for her. I would be too small and safe for her. I hugged my friend goodbye and stepped back as I watched her and the other rebellious teens climb aboard the train. As the train pulled away from the station, I watched it until it was just a dot in the distance. I thought about how even though I was still here, the town I have been in every day of my life, my world had changed forever. I guess Maggie wasn’t the only one on an adventure. I now had to learn how to live without my best friend.
As the weeks and months passed since Maggie left, I found ways to fill my time. I took Angelica's place working at the ice cream shop and even made a few new friends, but no one could fill Maggie's shoes. She would send me postcards from the places she'd been and wrote to me about her adventures. She worked odd jobs here and there to pay her way, everything from picking apples in an orchard, serving tables at a diner and even working a booth at a carnival. She made everything sound so exciting, but then again, Maggie always knew how to pull a story to match her views. In the beginning, she used to ask me to jump on a train to join her, but after a while she stopped asking. She knew I would never leave our small town no matter how hard she tried. Just as I knew with each post card that she was never coming back to it, no matter how hard I tried.
As the seasons changed, my new life began to feel more normal, more like it was before I even met Maggie. It was only when I would check the mail and see that familiar scribbly handwriting that I would be taken aback and feel that nostalgia for my old friend. The post cards used to come every few weeks, then every other month, and now rarely ever. In one she told me how her and Ben started dating and that she had never felt so in love. I was happy for her, but I also knew Ben was just one more added reason for her to stay away. I myself had started dating someone, his name is Mark. He is cute and nice, he is safe. Maggie would hate him. There were so many times that I wanted to write back to her and tell her about him, but there was never an address for me to write to, it changed with every postcard I received.
The months soon turned to years. Mark and I were still so happy together and even started talking about getting married. The thought of getting married without Maggie standing next to me as my maid of honor like we had planned as kids broke my heart. However, it was a reality I had to come to terms with. Mark's sister would have to take that place. Maggie and Ben had long been broken up when he left her for a cocktail waitress he met when they were in Chicago. I thought for a moment that the heartbreak might send her running home, but it only drove her further away. Losing Ben gave her more drive to always be on the move, to not slow down, to not get hurt.
Time continues to pass without Maggie and Mark and I are married. We have a nice little house and he works a good job. We were happy. One day, to my surprise there was a knock on the back porch. When I opened the door, I was shocked to see a face I hadn’t seen in many years: Maggie, my Maggie. She still looked like the same free-spirited girl I knew so many years back, just a bit older. The biggest difference was the small baby bump tucked under her baggy sweater. We sat for hours catching up. She told me that she was dating a guy in California and got pregnant. She said she was too scared and left him. She said she was ok, that her mom raised her on her own and that she would be able to do the same for her baby. Although I saw a small bit of fear in her eyes, I didn't say anything. She said she was on her way to New Orleans, that she met some people in her travels that have a place that she could stay at and a job waiting for her. I excitedly asked her to stay with me, but even as I said the words, I knew the answer. She didn’t want to raise a child in a world that she spent so long trying to get away from. Something must have changed in her after that. She quickly stood up, as quickly as a pregnant woman could, and said she had a train to catch. She gave me a tight squeeze, as though we were relatives and then she was gone again.
A few months later, I got a birth announcement in the mail that baby Allison Grace had been brought into the world. I looked at the picture of my name sake and saw she had her mother's eyes. I was amazed that I had such a feeling of love for a little girl that I have never even met. That I may never meet. I still remember the single tear rolling down my cheek and smearing on the little girl’s perfect picture.
The years pass by as they always do. Mark and I became parents to two beautiful little girls. I often find myself wondering if they will ever feel the need to hop on a train in the middle of the night to get away from the life I gave them, the life I worked so hard for. Throughout the years, Maggie has sent me letters and pictures of Allison. They seem happy, Maggie met a man and has settled down. There is finally an address for me to write back to. She found a home that was big enough for her to grow in which is all I ever wanted for my best friend. Mark and I have tried planning trips to go to New Orleans to visit them, but life always seems to get in the way and we always have to postpone.
As I stand before all of you, it's with a heavy heart that I say that my friend's death was what got me here to New Orleans. She always wanted me to take risks, to have an adventure. I only wish that she was here to take one more with me. Although she has passed, between the two of us, she is the one that truly lived. She had dreams and made them come true. She's seen and done things that I was too afraid to even imagine. In my hands, I hold the post cards she sent me and a train ticket. I will now go on an adventure, I will go on Maggie's final adventure. I will stop at the places she stopped, I will see the things she's seen. I will meet the people she's met. I will be brave, I will take a chance. Thank you Maggie, thank you for the greatest adventure I could ask for, the adventure of your friendship. I love you and I will miss you. Now I must go, I have a train to catch.