Growing up in my teenage years was such a blur; one minute you have a large group of friends, the next day you are eating alone at the lunch table. I got bullied mentally; the words that they spit out cut deeper than a knife. Most days I find myself not coming to school or joining in the fun outdoor activities. The worst of it all I would just lock myself in the bathroom and just bawl my eyes out.
Next, I went to college. Things got better, I guess. Till one day I was walking alone at the beach near my house. Suddenly from afar, I saw 2 boys that looked familiar. In the moonlight, I saw one of my classmates from secondary school and his friend, which is our schoolmate. The schoolmate, let's call him ''Zack''. Zack and I never talked at all in school till that day. It's funny that the 3 of us had stories to tell one another and it was a nice conversation. I don't recall but I somehow got Zack's number and he had mine too.
Zack is such a charming person. He has sweet dimples that jump to his eyes when he smiles. Soft silky hair and tall. He's just the opposite of me, I have curly hair and I'm short.
Ever since we exchange numbers, I would always sneak out late at night just to meet him. He would always bring his guitar and play it, feeling the beach breeze and hearing the crickets sing. We bonded so well and I just knew by then that I had fallen for him so so deeply. Sadly, he didn't feel the same way. But we continued to meet till one day.
We met up at that beach at night and it was on a weekday. He brought his guitar and sang his heart out to the darkness and the waves. I joined him too and we laugh till we cried. He looks so cool lighting up his cigarette and downing down a couple of cheap beers.
By the time I realized it, there was the sunrise glowing with colors. 10 missed calls and texts from family, I decided to just go to school. My lecturer then brought me to the counselor to see my situation. After contacting my parents, they all decided to bring me to a mental institution. I then realized that I am diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Maybe that's why my friends in secondary school treated me that way maybe because I was ''weird'' to them.
I lost contact with Zack for a while till years when we are both working temporary jobs. From strangers to friends and then we became a couple. Sort of. Maybe I had feelings for him all these years and that I never gave up on him. And we became more than friends and he started falling for me too. It took a while for him to do that since he was stuck with his ex on his mind. Do you know what's funny?
He said
''I want to marry you but I don't want to be your boyfriend.''
I was so confused and that's when I realized I'm just a toy for him to play with when he wants to. I gave him everything and I always prayed that we ended up with each other. Oh, I forgot to mention that he has depression as well. Maybe we aren't meant to be for each other. We both pointed fingers to one another that one of us is the toxic one. But maybe we both are and maybe that's the problem. He was my first everything and funny when I left him I felt nothing because the more you hold on to someone, and it starts hurting you more than ever, that's when you know that you need to let go.
And why is the title of the story called 'Bipolar Moonlight'? Zack saved my name like that on his phone because I'm bipolar and we always meet in the dark, at night, specifically moonlight.
How's Zack doing now? I'm not too sure. There was once I called him cause I missed hearing his voice and I asked how he was and he said that he had weeks of Medical Leave due to ''mental issues''. Surprisingly, we still followed each other on social media but I bet he muted my posts and stories like I did too to him.
I think my moral of the story: Stop chasing or waiting for someone for years to let them fall in love with you because most times they won't feel the same. Love yourself and always put yourself first. Never rush things too quickly and always try to solve a situation rather than letting it be.
As for now for me, I am pretty happy to be single and surrounded by family and good friends.
Thank you for reading, have a good day.
