I chose to live alone because it makes me happy. I feel a sense of freedom when I spend time with myself. I can do anything I want without restrictions, without expectations pressing down on me. But sometimes, I wonder—why do I prefer this? Is this really the life I want, or is it just the easiest choice?
There are moments when I question if solitude is truly my choice or just a habit I’ve grown into. Have I built this space for myself out of comfort, or am I unconsciously shielding myself from something? I cherish my independence, yet deep inside, I feel a quiet longing for something. It lingers like an unanswered question, a whisper at the back of my mind that grows louder when I’m alone for too long.
I’m already a grown-up teenage girl, always trying my best to satisfy myself. I get excited about exploring things I haven’t experienced yet. I want to try everything, to seek new experiences, just to answer the questions that make me feel confused and curious. There’s something in my mind that makes my heart race, but I can’t figure it out. It’s like longing to fly—to reach the millions of stars in the Milky Way, to touch the unknown, even without the proof that it’s real.
Maybe that’s what life is—a never-ending search for something just beyond our reach. The thrill of chasing the unknown, of hoping to find answers in places we’ve never been before. I tell myself I’m content, but deep down, I know I want more. More adventure, more understanding, more moments that make my heart beat faster.
Yet, despite my hunger for discovery, I hesitate. I always wish I had the same self-confidence that others seem to have. It’s not envy, but rather my own insecurities. I admire people who walk through life with certainty, their footsteps firm, their voices steady. I wonder what it feels like to be sure of yourself, to believe without doubt that you belong wherever you stand.
Sometimes, I dream about breaking free from my own hesitations—about stepping out into the world with the same confidence I see in others. I imagine myself standing at the edge of something new, the wind pushing against me, daring me to take the leap. Maybe one day, I will. Maybe one day, I won’t have to wonder anymore.
For now, I keep searching. I keep questioning. And maybe that’s enough.
