Being a shadow of an older sibling is painful.
Since I was little, I was used to hearing people say, “Oh, you’re her younger sister?”
At first, it didn’t bother me. To me, it was just a way people recognized me. I was her younger sister, and she was my older sister.
But as I grew older, I began to realize something.
People didn’t know me as myself.
They knew me as her younger sister.
At school, I was always compared to her. She was smart, often won competitions, and had many achievements. I was not like her.
I was more interested in art. I loved dancing, singing, reading poetry, and playing music. But at that time, those kinds of talents didn’t get much attention.
So, on one side, there was my sister who always seemed to shine.
And on the other side, there was me, feeling smaller and smaller.
Even when I grew up, that shadow was still following me.
When I went to college, people still asked, “Are you her younger sister?”
Even when I started working, I still felt the same way.
As if my own name was not enough for people to know me.
What hurt the most was when I started comparing myself to her.
I saw everything she had and asked myself, What do I have?
I became insecure. I closed myself off. Even when there was something I could do, I often didn’t have the confidence to show it.
I felt like I had to wait for someone to tell me, “Come on, you can do it.”
Until one day, someone came into my life and helped me believe in myself again.
Slowly, I began to dare to try.
I worked without my sister’s help. I discovered that I could stand on my own.
And then, I found something I had never realized before.
I could write.
I could write poetry.
I could pour my feelings into words.
It turned out that there was something inside me that had only been waiting to be discovered.
I did need someone to help me open that door.
But once the door was open, I was the one who had to step through it.
Now I understand.
Being someone’s shadow can be painful.
But we don’t have to stay there forever.
Because everyone has their own light.
Maybe I just hadn’t seen mine yet.
