CHAPTER 1
CHILD HOOD
CHAPTER 1: CHILDHOOD
My name is Brandee, I was born in Texas on August-02-1984 to Lorie and Jesus Garcia. I'm the youngest of four kids I have two older brothers and an older sister, I don't remember much of my younger years,
I never knew my dad, well I guess I did but I don't remember, I've seen pictures of him and my mom has told me a little about him, she left him when I was a year old and moved us to Washington with this guy named Otis, I can still remember that house as if it was yesterday, it was his parent's house, smelled just like a retirement home,
When I was three my mom would have to leave us and go to work, I remember after she was gone and he knew she would gone for a while he would take me and my brothers outside and make us crawl under the house he would shut us under there as if it was a game but he would take my sister and hurt her make her do things to him like as if she was an adult,
When his son would come stay, his son would come after me I would try and hide but he always found me, he would lock me in the room with him and his girlfriend and make me sit there watching him and her do sexual things to one another.
One day child services stepped in and made my mother leave him he was not only bad to us he was mean to our mom he would hit her a lot, so they told her it him or us, she left him but cps was in our lives after that checking up on us kids a lot.
Within a year she meet someone new his name was Dave at bout four years old he became our new stepdad, I didn't understand (step dad), I thought he was my dad she changed our last names and everything, I remember when I was five she left and was gone for few when she came home she told us that our dad Jesus had passed away and is now in heaven I didn't really understand what she was saying, later I found out.
I remember as a small child my older brother Wesley and I where always in trouble, no matter what we did she would have my dad spank us when he got home from work, I could never remember the reason.
My sister told me that at times my mother would be mad at something and she would go into the room I was in and just start yelling at me and would hit me, she would take her anger out on me.
The one time I do remember was the day she got her new couches, well Wesley and I started jumping on her new couches we were just having fun I was 5 years old it was new to me too, she grab me up really hard by my arm and drug me over to my dad yelling beat her ass she is messing up my new couch, he already had a bad day after work cause they got in a argument he got the paddle and spanked me he hit me so hard I came off my feet, every since that day I knew she liked watching him hit us, I started feeling as if nothing I did was good enough for her all we wanted was for her to love us the same as she did the other kids.
I was seven years old the first time I can really say someone hurt me in another way, other then what happened when we lived with ottis.
I went to stay the night at my friend's house I believe this was my first sleep over away from home with a friend. She told me I had to play this new game with her but it was a secret game and no one could find out, it was a game where you touch each other private parts, her mom came in and caught us she blamed me her mom said don't worry I'm not going to tell your mom what u did to my daughter and I shouldn't say anything either, I went home told my mom what happened and all about this secret game she made me play, the next day she took me to see my first therapist , I was so scared of being there and was unsure what they wanted me to say or do, the lady handed me two dolls told me to show her with the dolls what my friend made me do, I didn't want to show her I was told that what happened was not what little girls do, I was embarrassed even at seven years old.
Child protective services was in our lives since I was little, my sister told me at one time they took us kids from my mother for a few days, I think by this time her past was starting to catch up to her and it didn't help the depression she was dealing with at the time. At one time we had to take her to the hospital because her depression made her sick, that day the doctors made her stayed, they called her illness (a nervous break down) do to too much stress, the doctors blamed us kids and my dad they told us that if she had another one we wouldn't be able to see her tell she was better. Cps helped my mom out by putting us in daycare so she could have a break when she was unable to handle us.
Daycare was fun, there was a lot of kids to play with, one thing I didn't like was nap time, I just wanted to be a kid and just run and play. One day while outside playing I was rolling down a hill with a bigger kid rolling down right behind when he started going faster than me and rolled over me I was really hurt they had to call my mom they picked up all of us and took us home my dad said I was fine so they didn't take me in tell a few days after it happened I still couldn't move my arm and was still screaming every time they would make me move it when I went in they found out I broke my collar bone they had to put it back in place and I had to wear a chest splint that was so uncomfortable.
After a few years of going there my mom and dad became really close to the couple that ran the daycare that we all we just like family, even after we stopped being watch by them we would still go over and play and say hi see how everyone was doing.
When I was around ten my mom told us we were moving again but my dad wouldn't be coming with us that she was leaving him. She told us kids he hurt her and kidnapped her took her to the mountains and wouldn't let her see us and how uncomfortable he would make her feel when she was sleeping, just talked ever bad about him she said we were moving to Athena, OR with a guy named Bob he had a daughter that lived with him named Heather she was six, I didn't like that little girl at all she liked to get me in trouble, she was a spoiled brat, Bob and my mom made me take her everywhere I went, by this time I started sneaking around stealing moms cigarettes and smoking them, she was all about her husband not really about what was going on with me, I became a really angry pre-teen by twelve years old I was rebelling, didn't care anymore I thought if she couldn't or wouldn't hear me I was going to make her, but my anger only grew and got bad, on one occasion I got so mad at this kid at the park in Adams, OR where after Athena we moved, I chased him up the slide caught him pulled my knife out and put it to his throat, told him if he told on me I'd come after him again and slit his throat.
Heather told on me our parents took my pocket knife said I couldn't have it back, I was so mad at her she always told on me
One day she made me so mad I put her up against the wall and started choking her I wasn't letting go my mom had to pull my hands apart yelling at me, Brandee what the hell are thinking, what she didn't understand I was thinking about killing her, I wouldn't answer her I just looked at her.
CHAPTER 2:
BECOMING A TEENAGER
CHAPTER 2: BECOMING A TEENAGER
About three months after turning twelve years old, not only was I smoke cigarettes but I also started smoking weed, drinking alcohol and getting really interested in boys.
At that age you really believe your untouchable, and no one can hurt you. Boy I was wrong..
I went to one of my older friend's house to stay the night, her friend next door invited me and her over for dinner and a movie, she didn't stay long she left me there, I was ok at first until he started touching me and wouldn't stop he couldn't have sex with me because I was on my period, so he made me go down on him. I was in shock at that time I never knew people did that, it was gross all I could think about was hurry up, get it out of my mouth, I felt as if I was going to be sick.
A few months after that I met this fifteen year old boy we started dating he became my first I let him take my virginity, after I let him do that we didn't stay together long. I learned the hard way boys that age only wanted one thing and one thing only.
That year was a bad year for me, I was held down by my throat and rapped by my step sisters step aunt's brother, who moved in with my brother, I couldn't even see my brother or go to his house he would get angry at me he thought that I thought I was better than him, I just didn't want to tell him what his friend/ roommate did.
When I finally turned him in for what he did I really had to stay away from my brother's house because he would harass me, he got my friends involved telling me not to say anything to stop the charges, he would have people call my school saying they were and needed to speak to me, I would get called out of class to answer the phone and it would be people he knew threatening me telling me to keep my mouth shut,
My brother called me one day told me to stop by that he wasn't there, and it would be cool to see his little sister for a little bit, I went over there my brother started to questioned what was going on finally I broke down crying saying u can believe me or not but I am your little sister and have no reason to lie so I told him what happened, as I'm explaining to him what went on he tells me to lower my voice cause he was there sleeping he lied to me, I left I couldn't believe he lied to me about him being there but as I was leaving my brother grab me gave me a hug and told me he knew I wasn't lying, that made me feel better, my brother finally kicked him out of his house, before we could go to court he ran and was never charged for what he did to me.
My m om noticed my angry taking control of me, I would lash out at the stupidest things, a kid at school called my mom a hippo so I beat him with a pop bottle, cause the principal new my mom from having to deal with both my brothers, I only got in school suspension and the boy got laughed at.
By the time summer came I spent most of my time in Pendleton at my friend Donna house, one day me, her, and another one of our friends where hanging outside with a few boys, we decided to break in this abounded house and play spin the bottle so we climbed through a broken window we're in there for about an hour all the sudden we here "come to the window" the guys start freaking out it's the cops and we can't get locked up so I told them to hide and us girls would figure it out I went to the window the cops said we had to go downstairs they were breaking the door down, didn't understand when we could just go back the way we can but hey there cops they know everything, so walking down the stairs I told the other girls start crying we will say we came in and were just playing house, get down to the front door look outside and they had the house surrounded I was like really by this time I'm mad the cop says, "where Jose"? I was like who is that? Then the cop says,"We got a call saying Jose and his gang was in here", I told him do I really look like I know him? I was just playing house with my friends there's no boys in there check if you don't believe me, do what you think you need to, then my friend turns and see's this girl I really hated, look Brandee there is that one girl, I was like screw that Bitch, wrong thing to say in front of a cop he looked at me and said I can put u in hand cuffs I told him go ahead I can get out of them, he just put me in the back of his car took us girls down to the station and called our parents to come get us but with me my parents were out of town so my friends dad had to talk them into releasing me to him, thank god they let me go with him, after that I really tried not to get in trouble so I wouldn't be stuck at home doing nothing for the rest of the summer, so I started going back to my brother Jason's house and hanging out with him and his kids,
One day some of my friends and I stopped by on our way to the Pendleton round up to see if him and the kids were going to go, when we got up to his apartment complex there was this guy standing outside his the apartments smoking, as we walked up he started talking to us trying to spit some game, then he asked what we doing there and how we knew Jason, I told him it was my brother we were just stopping by to see if he was going down town tonight, he introduced himself, I'm Mike Webb one of your brother's best friends I told him my name ,but was in a hurry, so he kept talking to my friends and I went in to talk to my brother after I help him get his kids ready we left to head down to the fair so we could be the first ones and the line for tickets wouldn't be so long, we were there for about an hour and a half as we were getting off one of the rides he walks up trying to flirt and think he has some game, then he went down the line of my friends and my sister Yvonne asking each one of us out everyone said no, but when he came to me and asked there something about him I needed to no more so I said yes that night I had an amazing night except trying to keep his hands from going down my pants, but when I said no I'm not like that and your my brothers friend he quit finally. (Little did I know he would play a big part in my life).
After that night we didn't get to see one another a lot he lived in Boardman, OR with his grandma so we would only see each other when he would visit his dad, we spend a lot of time on the phone and writing one another all the time, this went on for a few months, then I was told he cheated on me when I asked him about it he said it didn't happen so I let it go, but then we stop talking as much as we used to and one day he broke up with me, being young I should of know long distance relationships don't work, but we stayed friends I mean by know both of our families new everyone and everyone were all friends.
That year I tried to stay on track do good and stay out of trouble, so I could show my mom I'm not always a trouble maker, that didn't last, in the winter my older sister Yvonne and I had a slumber party as the night started to die down, somehow it got brought up we needed cigarettes, (so me and my big ideas) new where my mom kept an extra set of keys to her car and brought it up let's take her car we can have it back before anyone wakes up no one will ever know, so we go on this adventure of a life time, we cruised all over Pendleton having the time of our lives, what we didn't know is after my older brother Wesley helped us push the car out of the drive way he went and told on us, my step dad Bob called the cops and turned the car in as stolen we had no idea the cops were looking for the car and us, as we pulled up close to my house I sent one of the girls up to the house to make sure everyone was still asleep and if they were awake we would run with the car and head to Walla Walla I had some friends there that would help us, but this girl never came back my brother walked down to us and told me mom was awake and new so he drove the car up to the house, where she was waiting outside, I thought for sure she was going to beat my ass but she called the cops and they came out to the house and talked with us, the officer asked her if she was pressing charges she said no they're home safe after he left she talked to me for a minute said I was grounded for two weeks and that's all that was really said about that day, but after that she hid her keys better, and I knew she was mad at me for a long time I could tell by the way she talk to me. After that day her and my step dad Bob starting fighting a lot more, and she started spending more time away from home, she started helping a friend of her other at a firework stand in Walla Walla, his name Terry Nelson he also drove truck for a living, him and my mom got close pretty fast, one time he was coming over to our house to pick up my older Wesley to go on the road for a week with him after they left the house she was came up missing too and acted like my brother made her get in the truck funny thing was she packed her bags to go and throw them out her bathroom window.
Bob came home when he found out he was so pissed off he could of tore terry's head right off, when they came back in town someone called Bob and told him where they were he went and found them. He almost hit terry with a tire iron he could have killed him that day if he knew he could get away with it. It wasn't long after that day she told us we were moving again that Bob hurt here he rapped her and she was afraid him, after he would leave for work she have heather and David go to school have me act like I was sick after the bus would come we all would take off to Kennewick bring small things to our new house, we would have to race back home before they got home from school and so she could start dinner, one day she told us no more we are leaving we only had about six hours to get everything loaded and be on our way to a new life, by this time we were almost pros at loading a u haul truck,
I was thirteen when we moved to Kennewick. We ended up moving to the same apartments as Terry right above him, the Conway apartments (also known as the ghetto), the first day we were there I was sitting in our living room window when I looked down and there was three guys looking up at me there were in a white van, just a staring away, so I went outside and introduced myself their names where Jeremy, James and Biggy I asked them what they were doing and why they were just sitting there looking me they denied staring, but asked if I wanted to smoke with them so my first day I was higher than kite, I didn't think I was going to like living there but it grew on me I met a lot of friends started dating someone his name was James, was having a great summer, James and I didn't date long,
I didn't like how most people new me as (James's girlfriend) shit my name was Brandee I don't see how they got that name out of mine then I started noticing that's what he wanted he was stupid cut that off quick, than Biggy omg he tired hitting on me I was playing a game on the computer he walk up and kissed my neck I called Jeremy right away and ask if he could have a talk with his friend how to respect girls so he came over and talk to him made me feel a lot better cause he made me feel uncomfortable, I really liked Jeremy but I was best friends with his sister lindy even though I knew he liked me as well, finally I talked to her about how I really liked him and she gave me the approval to date him, when we started dating no one could keep us away from one another, I was in puppy love with him, Terry could see it and also seen how the other guys around me acted so he had my mom put her wedding set that my real dad got her on me, he thought maybe that would keep them away a little more even Jeremy's dad noticed it to. His family really liked me to if he got in trouble all I had to do was wait for his mom to go to work take his dad some weed and he would let him off grounding.
At this point I meant a guy that was dealing, we got to talking he said he needed a runner so the cops wouldn't expect nothing and if I did it whatever I sold he would give me the same amount rather it be weed or meth but if it was meth I couldn't leave his house with it I had to do it there, I remember the first time I tired meth it was with a friend of mine after doing it I went to Jeremy's house to get him, standing there waiting for him I couldn't stop moving and just needed to do something he found out I was on it, that was one thing he didn't like me doing, but made me feel good, I like that I didn't feel hungry I didn't have to worry about getting fat or sleeping. What was I thinking than (stupid teen. To be continued..
