Life is not easy, there are challenges as well as obstacles along the way. Every path you take as it goes forward it will meander, you will have to cross a bridge somewhere, go over a railway line, when you come across a river which you will need to cross, an all the tools to cross are presented to you, will you turn back, I do not think so. Surely you will plan and cross that river and complete your path. Just like a career, a grade at school one must pass, or a road trip with friends. There will be unexpected situations along the way, however it will be great to always complete the test to the very end, no matter what.
Is suicide always a solution? No it is not. Of course, I am asking you my friend, yes, you the one reading this book you may have thought of taking your life possible once or twice, or possible someone that you know may have of such, how do you get help or help the next person?
Will you be able to identify and assist a person at risk? How often do you talk about the following points: - How would you know that this person is at risk? Do you feel unbearable pain? Do you sense death or a recent fascination with death? Do you feel hopeless, worthless or trapped, do you feel guilty, shame or anger? Do you feel like you are a burden to others?
Do you notice the following change in behavior in yourself or loved once: - Have you attempted to commit suicide recently? Are you noticing any excessive alcohol and or drug usage? Have you picked up that possibly someone you care about or yourself have lost interest in personal appearance or hygiene? withdrawal symptoms from family, friends and community? Saying goodbye to friends and family directly or indirectly? Having episodes of depression, emotional distress, and/or anxiety? Have you changed your eating habits and/or sleeping patterns? Do you often become violent or being a victim of violence? Do you express rage, if you do how do you do it? Is recklessness expressed?
There is help out there, just that one needs to know when to seek professional help immediately to avoid the unthinkable from happening. The way the person behaves may indicate an emergency is happening, or that a person is in a crisis. Sometimes our environment may overwhelm us from realizing that we need to observe the following behaviors. One should immediately connect the person with professional help, emergency medical services, or a mental health professional. When a friend talks about immediate harm to oneself or others, planning to attempt suicide and or acting in such an erratic manner that you are concerned about their safety.
Source emergency contact numbers in your area, via the internet, such as suicide crisis helpline, Mental health helpline, healthcare workers care, Depression and anxiety helpline. Get a hold of a professional mental health professional. Always take any case or episode which may arise seriously.
One should always ask oneself why these thoughts come to the mind, fear lets us unpack fear to start with, am i too scared, to face the future. one may not know how to deal with fear, let us first pinpoint at what bring fear to our minds, and how to deal with fear, the main aim is to ensure that one overcomes fear, what triggers the fear? Negative thoughts, try an exercise of replacing every negative thought with a positive thought, say to yourself are these thoughts helpful to me, if they are not helpful replace them with more realistic thoughts.
Under professional supervision, expose yourself to your fear in a controlled environment to desensitize your response. Take regular deep breathing, relax muscles by going for a swim, ensure that when you swim the other people are there with you. visualization, picture your favorite picture, it can be a garden filled with roses, or a garden of sunflowers, ocean waves moving slowly and relaxing your mind. think about the present moment without passing any judgements, observe what your fears are?
Be aware of the type of fears we are talking about and how to manage them. Social anxiety: - fear of being embarrassed, blushing, sweating or trembling in social situations, avoiding social situations, overanalyzing past social interactions, of being judged and humiliated and fear in some or most social situations.
Ask yourself how you will deal with the fear of being embarrassed: - The first golden rule is to practice self - compassion; treat yourself with the same warmth and kindness as well as understanding you would show a friend in a similar situation. The second rule is to confront the situation: - Never ever avoid or deny your feelings of being embarrassed, in your private space acknowledge your feelings and ask for advise on how to deal with them, and remember that it is part of life, one way or the other one gets embarrassed. The third rule is to do breathing exercises, Breath deep for ten seconds and then all the way out, this will help you to reduce anxiety and slow down the physical symptoms of fear, guilt and shame. The fourth rule is to use humor, this can assist you in turning an awkward situation into a funny story. The fifth rule is to build a social support system, why not have a network of supportive friends who may assist you build resilience to embarrassment. The sixth rule to keep a dairy, it really helps and is therapy to offload thoughts running through your mind, by writing them down in a dairy. The seventh rule is to understand what happens if they make social mistakes. The eighth rule is try and think of how you can change how you think about situations that make you anxious.
How am I going to deal with blushing, sweating or trembling in social situations, first rule is to try and relax as much as possible, work more on those breathing exercises, to work on reducing stress and anxiety, Deep breathing can most definitely assist your whole body to relax, the main aim with relaxation is to avoid the blood rushing into your face and causing you to blush. The second rule is to have your focus on something else other than the blushing itself. The third rule is to practice relaxation techniques, which includes muscle relaxation, guided imagery and visualization. The fourth rule is to consider talking tor therapist about medication such as serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), serotonin – norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs), benzodiazepines, and betablockers can help improve symptoms.
How am I going to feel comfortable to be in social situations? Let me have a look and see what will work better for me, I have always been afraid to go social situations which involves large groups of people, how about going to church this Sunday and see how it goes, if I do not feel comfortable during the service, I can maybe sneak out and leave, until I can stay or the whole service, and eventually I will be able to attend the whole service, maybe try and join bible study after church. Another alternative is to try and ask my friend out for a lunch outing first, where there will only be and her, then when I am with her, I will bring up an idea of inviting one more person on our next outing and possibly make more fun instead of seating in a restaurant, we may go for a picnic.
If the restaurants which are more formal courses more stress to me, I will try to go to the more casual once and try to relax a bit more, while I do that, I will aim to be more relaxed, not to overdress and possibly bring a gift for my friend, always think more positive thoughts instead of negative. Avoid drinking alcohol, lots of coffee as it has caffeine, never smoke, oh while I am at that I will get something to help me to reduce my smoking habits, otherwise I will focus more on that than myself coping with being in a social environment. I think will be a good idea to set activities for after we have eaten like playing snooker, or taking a walk in the park, I believe that we will be able to think of other activities as we go along.
The best thing I should do for myself is to avoid overanalyzing past social interactions, by meditating and taking deep breath on interactions, without judgement. Accept that I must move on, and focus on the future, there should not be any regrets as I must also accept that I did my best in the past situation. Is there a realistic reason for me to overthink? I will ensure that I engage in activities that I enjoy the most, such as playing tennis or squash, I might as well read something in between or while I wait for my friends to arrive, suggest some painting classes together with my friends and or dancing classes. I will always make sure that I do not miss my therapy sessions.
What if someone judges and humiliate me, remember I need to always replace a negative thought with a positive thought, what they are kind to me? I must always recite positive affirmation like “Mistakes do not define me”. Practice active listening by focusing on what others are saying, and never think about what I’ll say next. I must be realistic, because if my goals are realistic, I will be able to notice how often the embarrassing situations I am afraid of happens. I will take up capoeira or karate classes, or maybe yoga may also assist.…
