This was a long-awaited day for Auntie Kiki. She finally was able to arrange things so that she could take the messenger boy, Toby, to a baseball game. She remembered being his age and going to see the Boston Red Sox with her Nana and mother. It was always such an exciting experience.
Auntie Kiki adored being back at Fenway Park. A lot of her favorite living memories were created here. Not only did she get to go to games as a child with her loved ones, she also had had the opportunity to bring her best friend to a game or two. Looking around the park, taking in the adrenalized energy of the living, she for a moment forgot that she was no longer a live. She was about to ask Toby if he wanted an overpriced hotdog or, better yet, a bag of freshly popped kettle corn when she remembered their reality and stopped herself.
“Are you enjoying the game, Toby?” Auntie Kiki asked him from their seats atop a Green Monster railing.
“Yes! It’s amazing!” He excitedly replied.
Auntie Kiki closed her eyes and allowed her mind to be filled with images of days past. In some, she was a tiny girl, just barely able to see past the people sitting in front of her. In others, she was standing at the back of the stadium in the Standing Room Only section, explaining what was going on on the field to her best friend. Everything was so vivid. She could feel her loved ones in her arms again, smell their scents and remember what being truly present felt like. She felt a tear slid down her cheek and quickly wiped it away. She opened her eyes when she heard the crowd cheering.
“Home run!” Auntie Kiki heard the announcer scream.
Toby did a happy dance, mimicking the people around him. She laughed and patted his head. He just kept on dancing, looking like the little boy that, in life, he never truly had the chance to be.
The game ended up going for eleven innings. The Red Sox beat the Angels three to one, a true pitcher’s duel. Toby told Auntie Kiki that going to the game was, by far, one of the best experiences that he had ever had. This made Auntie Kiki happy. Thankfully, she was able to cover his ears and eyes when, at one point, two men got into an alcohol induced spat over a fly ball. Nevertheless, for her, it definitely ranked right up there as one of the best days that she had ever spent at Fenway.
Later, when Toby was off running messages and Auntie Kiki was going through paperwork at her desk, she suddenly remembered the last time she had gone to a game. It was before her health scares began. She was in her twenties and invincible. She had survived major car accidents, the kind that people do not usually walk away from. Her heart, lungs and immune system were still cooperating. She had no idea that her life was going to change so drastically in a matter of months and just keep spiraling down until she finally slipped away. She remembered looking at her best friend and thinking that growing old would not be an undesirable thing because it wouldn’t be boring with Annie and their adventures.
Such remembering was difficult. It made Auntie Kiki sad and angry. It made it nearly impossible to find the desire to want to help others. In that moment of reflection, she had to fight the desire to rip up her paperwork and pass along her charges to others who might care more than she did. Yet, after a few deep breaths and a sigh that felt like it shook her desk, she forced herself to move on in her mind. She needed to focus on her purpose which was to help the living make sense of their lives. And, if the quality of some of the people she encountered at the game today was any sign of how things are going down there, her services are still sorely needed.
