ART OF FALLING IN LOVE
Find your Perfect Man
Motlatsi J. Moketo
Copyright � 2024 Motlatsi J. Moketo
All rights reserved.
DEDICATION
This is dedicated to all women around the globe. I hope this book shall be beneficial in your live. It is also out duty to keep a defination of love clear.
CONTENTS
Acknowledgments
i
1
INTRODUCTION
1
2
THE ART
3
3
STAGES OF FALLING IN LOVE
17
4
LOVE IS NOT JUST A GAME
23
5
A LITTLE ABOUT MEN
24
6
ROOTS OF WOMEN VIOLATION
27
7
A VALUABLE WOMAN
30
8
LOVE IS PURE
35
9
A PEFECT MAN TO KEEP
41
10
ABOUT AUTHOR
61
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
My acknowledgements goes to my family. Especially my mother, bother and sister. And all that assisted in making this book a reality.
1 INTRODUCTION
This book is dedicated to all women around the world. Greetings to you all. This time I decided to offer a helping hand. I hope this piece of artistic work shall be be beneficial to you-Maybe help you develop a deep knowledge and a strategy of finding a right man or a perfect man to fall in love with.
This combination of words is believed to be a shield for all women agaist falling in love with wrong men that pretend to love them and however disappoint them later-leaving them heartbroken and miserable. Upon reading this book, you shall develop a deep knowledge and strategy of being able to find a right man to love. Love is not a bet-it is very dangerous if wrongly placed. It is time you learn the art of falling in love and be able to tell a difference between a perfect and a wrong man before you could even place or declare love over them. This is surely a world a silent world pandemic.
Woman's love is like a great seeds while a man is like a soil. For your love to grow well, you need a great man to care and highly appreciate your love. No more look at a man and hope he is good to be loved. Love takes time, strategy and study before it could be placed on a certain man. You do not meet a man looking good and think he might be a great partner. Do not throw a dice on love and just hope things will be better when time goes on.
People just move into serious relationship without taking time to think things through and really get to know and understand the other person. They fell for looks, money or a desire to be safe and taken care of. They turn to be disappointed later. This are ladies that turn to be hurt mostly, they are women that already do not know how they want to be loved and it is never easy to find a right partner if you already do not know how you should be loved, appreciated or cherished.
In this book we are going to learn a simple strategy that I think shall help you develop safer ways of falling in love way better than before in your life.
Never hope nor think again. It is time you develop a strategy of finding a right man. Unleash the reality that most ingnore and end up in danger. Love is dangerous, someone is a single mom out there because of a thought that she was loved. She gave all and received zero in return. They turn to be very heart broken while some even develop a special deep-hate towards men-this are mothers that end up teaching young girls that a man is nothing but an animal that does nothing but causes pain.
Do not ever take men for granted. Do not fall in love quickly-Take your time, love is dangerous, with just one mistake-Your whole life might turn to be sour.
you now know that love is dangerous if wrongly placed, it is time you learn safe ways of falling in love.
WELCOME!
2 THE ART
No more think that men are all the same. They are not all the same but you have been selecting the from the group of wrong them. On the other hand, Do not stress out that maybe you are miserable in finding a right man to love you. In Africa women will even go to the "sangomas" or traditional doctors out of frustration seeking assistance on why they can not find a perfect man, sometimes they want to be married like other women or maybe they just want to be in a romatic moves. They go there with a thought that they have been bewitched to never find a perfect man. Some even go to pastors to for prayers, with a thought that maybe God might shine to assistance. This is a worldwide problem, more like a pandemic. Women want to be cherished but they are stressed out because they do not know where to find a good men. They tried but nothing was promising. No man seems to be right.
Some do not even think there are still right men out there. They think we are all the same. Some see men as animals or a devils to bring them nothing good but pain and misery. However upong reading this book, all shall change for better.
Do not give up now. I am here. Your Mr right is still out there waiting for you. Do not even think that maybe dating a same gender could be a solution, no man-let us solve this problem. It is also your time to shine. I declare that there is nothing wrong with you. It is yet your time to smile after being told I Love You. They say love does not exists and I say it does if you know the ART OF FALLING IN LOVE.
If you want Mr Right then Question is-How Do You Want To be loved.
Most women jump in relationships so fast without thinking twice upon being approached by a good looking man. This a is a great mistake that left many in pain and heartbroken, some sick internally-they need mental assistance. The next day they wonder what went wrong. Most women go into relationships believing if they date someone, they will be happy and eventually find the right person and live happily ever after. However, somewhere along the road to finding Mr. Right turns out to be a nightmare. The reason why most women get disappointed is because of dating a wrong man. I'm convinced most young women don't have any guidelines for the kind of person they should date. if some guy comes along and he's hot or shows a little attention, they will date him. Often, they jump in without any idea as to who this guy really is. It's like they're rolling the dice, hoping they'll come up lucky. Sadly, most of the time they do not. Every woman should have a list of qualities they want in a guy they want to date. It doesn't hurt one bit to be picky when it comes to dating.
I am a man who considers women very powerful, but I am with the fact that they lose themselves such power because of how they define love or see love. It is now like a culture or a new norm, women hang their love satisfaction in the name of money. Women no longer want to work, but their goal is to get a rich man to take care of them. Most women's definition of love is similar to money, no-money no-love, and this is a wrong definition of love and surprisingly they mostly realise later after acquiring all the money they thought was important that there is still an empty side that needs satisfaction. You know what they do after this realisation: they cheat on their rich men just to fulfil the missing part of love??surprisingly this time they cheat their Mr money guy with a broke partner?..isn't that funny!
A relationship needs balance. You do not want to be in a relationship with a man who satisfies you with 1, 3 or 4 things out of 10 things that makes you completely happy in a relationship because you will end up cheating on your partner, trying to fulfill the missing parts that make you feel appreciated.
IT STARTS WITH YOU
You must know how you want to be cherished, not what kind of a man you want. Knowing how you want to be loved shall save you from falling for the wrong partner. On the other hand, falling in love fast has been a disease killing so many-leaving them hurt and miserable.
Approach is much different between men and women. Normally men approach women they see beautiful to their eyes. On the other hand, women do their selection and go with men they see as good to go. It is like when applying for a job-say a woman is a HR and all men are applicants. A woman has a power to choose a man she wants from a bunch of those approaching her, but most women do not use this power to its maximum because they want to date men of a certain image, not a man who want to love and appreciate them how they want to be appreciated. It might happen that you get a man who has it all, talk of riches or money, to loves you how you want to be loved. That is great But it is unfortunately not like that in most cases. People settle in relationships they already feel mistreated and disrespected, they are not even 50% satisfied but because they are hoping for the best or afraid of losing being taken care of financially, they continue dating such men and doing this is actually like like sacrificing your soul and happiness for just a just a thing.
How do you settle in a relationship you are already not feeling complete and appreciated if not really sacrificing your soul?
It's time you change your mind, focus and unlock your potential. See yourself different in how you approach love. Do not ever go for the man you want but for a man that wants and loves you how you want to you feel satisfied.
Do not tell a man what you love or enjoy but rather let him show you how he loves. Try to be yourself. Do not try to change or impress him. Let him explore and love the real you. But before you throw yourself at any man. Be patient enough to let him get you right. Do not settle because he is funny, sexy or rich but because he loves you how you want to be loved-I mean a way that makes you happy and complete.
Have a pen and a paper to tick on the boxes he is getting right, its either he wins or losses-only his actions shall tell.
HOW IT GOES.
It is your duty to know what kind of a man you need. Know how he must behave, how he must treat you and more, you must know how you want to be loved by now If not-Have a pen and paper, try to list and describe all qualities that you think makes a great man who will make your relationship happy. Also do list of red flaks you do not like in a man. For example, you might like a man who is growth oriented-someone who acknowledge his mistakes and try best to change??or someone who does not solve matters in relationship with violance. On the other hand, there those things that you dont like in a man-the red flaks like a man who does not respect you or a man who blames you for everything.
These are things you must consider before being involved with any men. It is easy to define such as you always know what makes you happy and what makes you happy will surely make you feel loved. Firstly, make a list of how a man must act or behave in relationship.
Upon knowing a kind of man you want, it is now easy to select a man you think matches to display himself?. not to love him already but to put him on test or study; trying to find out if he fits your list of how you want your man to act.
Do not fall in love on a test, this is very important to remember, but let him think that you are deeply in love as to Let him easily advertise himself seriously. Be pertinent while still doing everything that lovers do. Have your time frame for a man to display himself. Be careful never to find yourself falling for a man not above 80% of speacial needs that you think makes you happy and a proud woman on your list. Don't say maybe he will change or try to change him later. No! If he fails to get you right. Dont force it or settle for less.
It is not easy to make a person love you how you want to be loved if he has never done it before. But it is much easier to get a partner who once met your goals on how you want to be loved back on track if they get lost along the way in a relationship, that is simply by putting puzzles together to find out where it all went wrong then talk and fix it through marriage counselors or therapists, it is unlike when he has never loved you-there is nothing to fix and you can not make him love you. It simply means you forcing yourself on him-and you are going to love and care for him alone while he does not going do the same HE NOT A TEAM PLAYER.
Never think you can change or make a man love you. It is difficult and shall also harm you mentally.
YOU CAN NOT CHANGE HIM!
This is the reason why most women believe that a man will change:
It is because such men already failed to love them how they want to be loved, they are just attracted to less than 40% of what makes them feel completed, it might be 10% of good sex, 10% charm, 20% of money.
How about other needs such as time, respect and appreciation? It is clear a situation can never be changed and a fresh start is a way to go because you can not plant qualities that you want in a man. If you try you are going to die trying. There is nobody perfect but we can notice red flaks we do not like in man, why then hesitate distance yourself out of such relationships. Do not ever think he will change. It is best to move out before you get destroyed mentally.
It will also be easy to walk away because you know that a feeling was not yet deep because your man was yet on test.
On the other hand, it will be much easier to take out your best in a relationship if you get a man who makes you feel adored and completely happy.
We all can see when we are not well appreciated and loved. It does not take long before a man displays himself. Look at men's actions after sex, that is when they start displaying themselves especially for new relationships-he would be used to caring, checking up on you but after hitting you will words like I am sorry love a
After I am sorry babe, together with more explanations and excuses. This is why a time Frame is very necessary in your plans--maybe a month, two or three. Study him before you declare love on him.
LOVE vs LIKE.
As mentioned before, you don't have to confuse love with like because that is a deadly mistake. Remember it all starts with you liking what you see. Then love after a clear study that you are in good hands. It is like sawing a seed in the soil. You don't just place a seed in a soil that looks good if you want to reap good yield, but you study if a soil has good nutrients to sustain what you are about to sow. You also do not have to place love at first when you see a man no matter how good he looks, there is still a lot to study. How many times have you been hurt by a man you thought was good to go by just looking at him.
I do not promise heaven but things will change a little bit in your love life. Nobody tells you whom to love or when to love a certain person, you are the only one in control of this. No person has ever made you love a certain person but you did on your choice looking at some features that turned you on. It is time you drop falling in love quickly in a dust bin, you have a choice of whom to love and when to love.
Love takes time, be patient to know him before you declare loving him with your mouth. Love is special but so a problem is quickly falling in love. We bet on love like we were never hurt before. I still think when it comes to love we risk a lot, to the extent we forget how much we were broken before. We seem to have a great hope and believe that things would be better. I know the bible tells us to be hopeful but it comes to love there is no hope. This is a high we time we stop hoping. It's time we drop these words like I thought he was better, this time I think I got the right one. You no longer have to think that a guy you have just met is different by how he looks or talks because it is not guaranteed that you will get what you see or think about a person. That is why it's still important to make sure that a man loves you how you want to be loved by studying him before you declare love over him.
Ask yourself these kind of questions.
How would I like my man to solve issues whenever they arise in our relationship?
How do I want my man to touch, treat or appreciate me?
How do I like my man to make love to me?
How do I want my man to represent himself to the public?
How do I want him to behave under pressure, during hard times or when not happy about a something?
How do you want him to act upon doing you wrong-does he accept his mistakes and and acknowledge them?
These are some of the questions you should be able to answer honestly. Be real and stay true to yourself, do not cheat yourself in the process.
There is a lot that makes us different in how we want to be loved however a good thing is we all know how we want to be appreciated. List all and never forget tick on a performance of your man on that is on test and if you see any red flak of what you believe will not make him a good man for you just leave on timely manner before you get hurt broken, because it is never easy to heal a broken heart, it has no medication it's better to act save.
3 STAGES OF FALLING IN LOVE
Falling in love must be a process:
You don't meet a man and the next day you are so happy, sharing with your friends how you met a good guy whom you think you love the day before. No! Remember all men are good at the beginning. That is not yet time to feel loved. It must be clear that falling in love must be a process for you.
Remeber not to confuse Like and Loving a person.
Firstly you like a man. This is whereby you are attracted to what you see. The image of a man that has features that makes you go for a man.
Secondly learn about him-if he really loves you in a way that satisfies you.
At least meet 80% of how you want to be loved. If not, leave safely without being hurt. It's unlike falling in love at the first moment and being disappointed the next day.
Be patient enough for a man to tick all boxes before you risk your heart.
Always know what you want and if you don't get that, Go! And never look back no matter what.
The art of falling in love has four stages that I think are very important and needs to be understood dearly. But before you go in to this stages, you must first have to know dearly how you want to be loved. In other words-be able to know how your man must act, behave or represent himself in a way that takes-you-away. You want a man you will feel proud of. It is not easy for me to explain a man that could cherish you. I believe we are all different in how we want to loved. You also know how your man must behave to really feel speacial and happy. You want a man who can solve issues without violence or having to shout. This are some of the qualites to consider for an example. More qualities that makes him perfect are in the next pages.
Like i have mentioned before, it is best you List all things that you do not like when a man does in a relationship. Also list all qualities you think your man must posses to really make a satisfying relationship that you would feel comfortable in. Be careful not to list how a man must look but go for Man's Actions because looks will never satisfy you-what is the use of dating a good looking guy who does not respect you? No use but how man acts is forever-if his actions satisfies you.
Look more into his actions, if they are of a man who care and appreciates you. Then, that will also make it easy for you give love at its best if you find him right. This kind of men are a good soil to seed your love. Remeber its all about HIS ACTIONS.
Now that you have listed how your man have to act to really make you feel speacial. Its time you know procesd of Falling In Love.
1st stage.
YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE.
This is where you first like what you see. Most women confuse this stage with love (ing). This is a process, you first like this man approching you. He represents features of an outside man that you would like to be in love with. You do not love him but like him?.be aware that you only like not love because there is are still more stages to undergo before you could declare love.
2nd stage.
STUDY HIM.
Now that you have this man that you like and think he is the one. It is time to study if his actions are really of a man that you want. Be aware that you can not study him away. It is best to give him a chance as to bring him close to study.
You now have a list of red-flags or things you don't like when a man does and those that makes you happy when he does. It is now your time to tick in relation with his actions. Have your time frame. Maybe 2 to 3 months but if you see any redflags before you could even evaluate results. Leave!
3rd stage.
EVALUATE HIS ACTIONS .
It is now your time to evaluate your results and score them out of 100%. Does his actions satisfy you o you or not. You know how you want your man to act in a relationship, maybe you want him to be there for you, involve you in decision making, respect you, appreciate you how you are to just mention few. Does he make you happy?
4th stage.
MAKE A DECISION .
If your man meets 80% and above of how you want your man then love him. But if he does score above 50%, advise is to Check if he is missing on major actions or just minor. If you think he is missing on major actions that are important to you, it is time you let him go. Do not have mercy. Walk and do not look back, that does not not make you a bad person. Even a teacher a give marks on tests, it is not a fault of a teacher that some fail.
This are four stages of falling in love. Now let us break it down even more. It is time you unlock wisdom. The way you approach love shall never be the same.
4 LOVE IS NOT Just A GAME
With love we form bonds. Bonding with a wrong person can bring bad results both on yourself, your family and everybody you are close to. Most women are single-mothers because of wrongly placing love-they fell for the wrong person. Most are also sick suffering from heart attacks-they are always in pain. Some don't even believe in themselves as we speak, They consider themselves failures in relationships. They blame themselves for past failed relationships.
They cry day in and day out. They are worried-they think that love is not for them. They are just not aware of the art of felling in love-it is a process. They are out there praying for a change in their man's actions. How do hope for a good that you never considered before placing love on a wrong man?
As i have mentioned before, you don't place your love on a good looking man hoping he is good and ready to adore you how you would feel happy. You have to make sure that he really scores 80% of how you want your man to be like in a relationship that satisfies you. Loving quickly is always dangerous, what if that man is not going to treat you right. Or what if he finds you not interesting like he thought because they also have got the their own expectations about you, which they might find positive or negative. Take time to know him better.
5 MEN
As said ealier, every man is always caring at the beginning, they seem to be good and loving. They are there for you and would offer some time for you. You will agree with me that all this process slows as time goes on but mostly after sex. This says it might be useless for you to play hard-to-get on a man because most men are Angels before getting it, they will continue being a good a man until he gets it no matter how long it takes. Do not make the mistake of thinking a man loves you because he has been playing along during a hard-to-get game. however you have to be careful to never be used for sex. Within your time frame to test if a man fulfils you. You will easily see if you are being used or appreciated as you will be ticking on your list-Judging from his actions. Always be alert and ready for everything.
As I was saying, men are always good before hitting it. They mostly act like they care. This is a step most women get killed. They mistakenly think they are loved and in no time they are hurt and heartbroken-wondering where the good they noticed in a man vanished. They will be like I never thought he would do this to me. I thought he loved me. I thought he was different?..and more.
It is time you master this strategy. Do not put yourself down or think that men are all not good. Do not think love was not made for you. Again, never think no man loves you however, this time you know your value and the kind of man you need. It is time you master Art Of Falling In Love and master it. Never forget its stages and you shall be saved.
Most women know and can see when they are not appreciated however they settle in such relationships because they are hoping for a change in their partners, while some settle just because of benefiting from something-this are people this book is about. It is time we heal and change your perception about falling in love. This is a book for those that are seeking a truth and a happy relationship not those that are hustling for money-pretending to be in love while they are on money hustle. This are women that mostly use their beauty in exchange for money in the name of love. This are women that weaken, destroy and change a real meaning of LOVE. they will be like I Dont Date Broke guys as if love is money. This are kind of women that influences violence on women.
6 ROOTS OF WOMEN VIOLATION
This is the reason why most women turn to be violated and keep quiet yet they know what to do. As i have mentioned earlier, women turn to mix love and money. To them it is like a man with no riches deserve no love and that is not a case. Be warned-this book is not against guys who think have got money but i am simply saying it is wrong to place love on a certain man just because of money. Sadly money on its own can never satisfy your love needs. You also need to feel loved and appreciated.
This saying, I Do not date broke guy has distroyed the current generation of girls and is yet to do more danger on the coming generation of girls. They will grow up thinking the same thing, that love is money and that a man with no money or riches deserves no love. This will have lots of bad outcomes as they will fail to define real love, thinking love is beneficial. Ask any lady of this generation-what kind of a man do you want. No doubt the answer will be, A man who pays for rent, who takes me to salon, a man who takes me out, who gives me money??just to mention few. To them love is beneficial. I repeat-this are women that wrongly define love and also influencing wrong defination of love on young girl and if this continues real love shall vanish in the coming generation.
Women of this days do not believe in supporting a man from the ground up. They want to find them already successful. Is this the knowledge we want our children to grow up with? Probably No because this has bad outcomes, like growing up not knowing real love. They will be with a believe that a man can do whatever he likes to a woman as long as he has money.
I have came across this kind of women-they confuse violence and being shown love-they are turned into punching bags-they are owned like pads-they do as a man says and whatever he does not like, they also do not have to like it, he wants to know everyone you talk to-and you are bond to do nothing because this man provides you with everything material-some women think this is love. Is this how we would like the future generation to know about love? It is still a huge No!. They have to know real love and it must start with us because young girls do as we does. They learn from us because we turn to be more closer to them than any other person, so if you want your little one to have a better future. First better yourself. In short let us change for the better tomorrow. Upon talking about effect that can be brought by love's wrong defination and its effects let us go back to Women Violation.
Women that have been violated or that are still violated know where to go or what to do, But they choose to stay underground because of material things-it might be different things but one of the most is-being taken care of materially. They mostly know, matter fact, they are aware of the laws protecting them from violence but the fact that they are dependent on money or material things which they wrongly call love makes it hard for them to be independent. Let me tell you a secret, men respect women who respect themselves-I mean valuable women.
7 A VALUABLE WOMAN
A valuable woman doesn't not care about what a man has or how much he has, once she feels mistreated, she stands up and opens up very proud broad because they are only there to be loved and appreciated, not to beg for money or anything apart from love. They are not worried about man's materials. If a man mess up, he know he is in hot water and all he does is to respect such women and treat them well. They know they can lose them upon mistreating them, they love them for who they are. That is why they develop respect towards them. On the other hand, a man is in a relationship with a vulnerable woman after his money turns out not to respect them. If a woman is not okay about something, they do not talk proudly and openly however they pray in every situation. They blame themselves in every situation, they even apologize even where they know exactly that they are right. Unlike valuable women, vulnerable women are the ones afraid of losing a man. Man never care about this kind of women. She gets mad and leave, he does not care because he knows that she would be back upon hunger needing cash. Men knows women to use and to love.
They are not stupid they also know when a being used for money in the name of love. Most men don't keep vulnerable women but they do use them because they also know that they are being used know for money in the name of love. Some men dating this kind of woman do not even have the shame to date another woman in front of their eyes. This is why in most cases you find women killing other women whom they share a guy with, they stupidly believe that such women are a reason they are no longer in loved-supported financially. It's time you think of how you approach love and men in order to be saved from being disrespected. It's time you become valuable, not vulnerable lady and that is the happier you will be.
DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS!
If you know a women that has have been violated or hurt before in a relationship. Ask them why they stayed. They will respond by saying I loved him. He promised to change and I believed him, I thought he would change or He took care of me. These are words you must never say upon reading this book. Don't ever settle for less, for a man who satisfies you less than 80% is its a big no! Remember it's always good to study a man's action before and after sex. As to collect a full clear report about him, like?.is his actions still the same after hitting it?
However some might be after you for a certain opportunity but the system is still the same. A person who does no tlove you purely always shows, they do not hide for long, they hurt you and keep apologising from time to time and always promise to do better but never does and we continue with a relationship because of thinking or a hope that he will change.
Imagine seeing problems in a man of less than two months, how about in 2 years to come-it is clearly going to be hell!
I will not clearly state how one feels or needs to really feel loved because I believe it is one's code but we sometimes learn from our family or couples we were once close to, Much as we would need to admit it, a whole lot of what we study in life, and relationships-we discovered from watching and interacting with our parents, siblings and relatives. Our dad and mom are the finest pressure in our lives due to the fact that we spend a lot time with them that is why learn automated habits that we grow to be cushty with in life. Though we would inform ourselves that we are by no means going to be something like our parents, we regularly discover ourselves doing the identical as they did.
These acquainted habits have grown to be automated and we are a folks that discover consolation in that which is thought and automated. For younger girls, it is not always uncommon for them to discover themselves in relationships with guys who are just like their fathers due to the fact those are the guys who had been their first exercise people. Further, if the fathers had been alcoholic, abusive, controlling, yelling, etc., the younger female routinely gravitates toward comparable forms of personalities nearly unconsciously. Though dad and mom can additionally say do as I say, not how I do, it is not is always uncommon for youngsters to do precisely like their dad and mom. For younger boys, in addition, they grow to be just like the guys of their lives and relate to the girls of their lives like their father associated with their mothers. Whatever one has discovered to anticipate from their households is what they will be doing for maximum in their person life - despite the fact that they are trying tough to keep away from doing it. It is going again to I need a female, just like the female that married expensive vintage Dad and vice versa. I know the type of lady I want and the way she need to act and be to make me happy. You additionally know the way you want to be adored and the way a person need to act in a manner of displaying love to you. this is why you realize while matters are proper and while they are. I usually say this, most girls do no just cheat however they do due to the fact they are one way or the other not satisfied. Even though they are in a relationship, they nonetheless have holes incomplete in how they need to be loved. Do no longer hate love, do not ever say guys are trash however blame approaches to offer love. It isn't always incorrect to fall in love however realize the steps to comply with before placing your love and trust in him.
8 LOVE IS PURE
Money or material things will never mean Love.
Love is not what he has but how much he sacrifices to see you happy. Money is always good but the world is not completed by it alone. This says it is useless to fall in love because of how much a man has if he does not fully appreciate and satisfy you fully- you want to feel speacial and appreciated. On the other hand it is more than a word fabulous to get a fantastic man who has money or rich to love and treat you kindly.
We all need love. Love is great, that is why a seed of our love has to fall on a good soil. It is your responsibility to ensure that your love is well placed. It is always our mistake that we fail to seed our love on a great soil that will make it grow well. Take your love as a great seed, does a seed grow well in a bad soil, it is obviously a big No.
Now that you know that your love is like a great seed it is wholly your responsibility to find that fabulous man to grow your love with. That must be a man who is ready to take your love and make sure that it grows well. It is in your power to do the right selection. There are lots of great men out there, even yours is there. You can never be a good soul and never attract a evil soul. Just be patient, your time is coming because you hace have acquired skill on falling in love-things you should consider. It is currently un your knowledge currently that you know when, how and to whom to place your love right.
There are lots of great men out here however they are mostly not seen everywhere. They are not mostly found in the clubs. They are not also seen a lot because they mostly don't walk around charming women. They are not interested in posting sexy pictures on social media. These men are mostly seen in leadership seminars, churches, community developments, human rights and gender violence activists, to mention few. Get me right, I am not saying every men in this sectors might be good for you but at least you can find a potential there than your crush who posts pictures of how sexy he is on social media , I am sorry if you not a kind of woman who fall for such men and expect love. Anyway this are men that want to be loved by women, they feel completed when there are plenty women around them and this are men you don't want to risk your love for no matter times they tells you how much they LOVE YOU because they actually do not stick to one woman. These are guys that think they are good at playing cheating game and it has never worked for them and by the time their victims find out, it is nothing but a hell of a heartbreak. It must be in you that LOVE is not how great a man looks or has but how much you feel fulfilled around him.
As mentioned before, most women love quickly. This happens because they fell for the first time looks. They find out later that they placed their love on the wrong person. Sometimes it is not even easy to walk away because the feeling is too deep. You grew its roots down into your heart before a proper time and good study. Even if you knew a person-maybe he is a neighbour or workmate but there are major things that you still need to confirm because a person is always different in a relationship even if they were once your friend or just a person you knew great from a distance.
How do you meet a man in a club and expect to reap fruits of good love in him? Same thing applies, how are you a party lady or a club woman and expect to be loved and appreciated. Are you going to expect your man to change after your relationship or you are going want him to continue clubbing, or will you say i will club with him, then is it going to be always that you will be with him or won't care and also enjoy partying elsewhere-it is probably a huge no, that is clearly going be a sick relationship. And people make these kinds of mistakes, sometimes even get married and end up having kids. Now tell me, what are you going to think when your man is clubbing while you are at home? Aren't you going to think he is going to get to other women just like he got to you in the club before, we all know that things that happen there, you are probably going to think this way and this going to affect you emotionally and will also affect your relationship leading to a break up. A very worse situation is when there are children involved, and this happened because of two people who wrongly fell in love as they were both not in a good environment for love. It is true that you can find love everywhere but the one found from a club or a partying animal does not mostly go well.
It is now clear that there are places and situations that are not good to find love.
Love does not need a bad environment.
It has got to find you ready for it. It requires change and growth. It requires a person who knows between good and bad. A person of humanity-who knows pain and never wants to see others hurt. Who sees danger from a distance, above all love requires humanity and growth.
How are you going to know a good man if you are not good yourself. I know we have freedom to be whomever we want to be like Dressing how we want to and more. We all want to be beautiful however look at how you present yourself because how you present yourself determines what kind of men you attract. Are you approached by men you like? If yes then there is no need to look at your image. However, if your response is negative then it is time you update on your image. There is no church guy who will ever go for a club girl under normal circumstances. And the same goes. No church girl will ever fall for a party man. Water and oil never mix. Now it is time you look at your image to suit and attract men of your class because men still have different types of taste and class.
There are ones that like to be loved by women-they are never satisfied by one woman-they mostly pretend to be good men at first.
There are also those that love wild women-this men are also never satisfied; they are still looking for a wilder woman.
There are also men that adore having many different women they enjoy seeing different body shapes, different skin complexions-they are satisfied with the number of women they smash like they are going to win a certain prize.
There are also those that are ready for a good woman. Men that care more about their image. They are leaders or representatives. They know changing women is something they can not be proud of because they want to set examples to the community and the world in large. They like respect. These men represent growth.
Look at your past relationship, which class do you think you EX man belonged to. Never make a mistake again. Make sure that you follow the rule. Be a woman of value, know when to love and whom to love upon reading this book
9 A PEFECT MAN TO KEEP
I have mentioned ealier that we all know how we want to be loved. I have also asked you to do your list of how you want your man to act in a elationship in order to say yes?.i feel sartisfied. Below are the supplementary signs or qualities that could help you realise if he is perfect or not. Rember this are qualities you have to realise during Study him Stage
This qaualities apply to single, dating, or in a relationship women. They very important to look for in a man while studying him. If you are in the relationship already, then tell me, does your man possess this qualities?
Qualities
When it comes to relationships, whether you're flying solo, casually dating, or in a long-term commitment, it's crucial to recognize the key traits that set a truly exceptional partner apart. Take a step back and assess a men in your life: do they embody these essential qualities?
INCLUDES YOU IN DECISION MAKING
A thoughtful partner will consider your perspectives and emotions, recognizing that a relationship is a two-way street. They understand that your needs, desires, and preferences are just as vital as their own.
A partner committed to personal growth is vital. Nobody is perfect, and we all have room for improvement. A partner who acknowledges their flaws and works to overcome them will recognize that their weaknesses can impact you and the relationship. They won't dismiss their shortcomings or expect you to adapt to them.
PERSONAL GROWTH
if you're dating someone who can come across as insensitive, a growth-oriented partner will acknowledge their limitations and strive to become more empathetic and supportive. They won't brush off their behavior as this is how I am and expect you to deal with it. Instead, they will take ownership of their actions and work to create a more nurturing environment for successful relationship.
look for someone who acknowledges the potential hurtfulness of their tone and actively works to improve it, rather than deflecting responsibility onto you that all the time.
HAS BELIEFS AND VALUES SIMILAR TO YOURS
A crucial aspect of a successful partnership is shared beliefs and values. It's easy to overlook, but compatibility is key. Love alone cannot overcome fundamental differences. Ensure that you and your partner are aligned on important issues, and that you both respect each other's perspectives and are willing to work together to find common ground.
Individual values vary greatly, influenced by factors like religion, work ethic, or lifestyle. Remeber water and oil do not mix, therefore you need a partner with same value and belifs and a connection between both of you shall be much better.
He Values, Embrace and accept you
A partner who truly values you will create a sanctuary where you feel comfortable being yourself, regardless of your imperfections and all. They won't judge or reject you, and you won't need to wear a mask or pretend to be someone you are not to gain their approval.
He is There For You
A dependable partner will be there to lend a helping hand, even if it's inconvenient for them.
Life is full of twists and turns, and a genuine partner will stand by your side, willing to make sacrifices and find common ground when necessary.
He Views You As an Equal and A Team Player
He acknowledge that together, you're stronger than apart. He value your thoughts, ambitions, and opinions, and respect your choices and circumstances. They do not try to be-little or control you, but rather appreciate and support you.
A man who truly cares about you will strive to make you happy. This desire is rooted in a fundamental need to bond with you. When a man genuinely loves a woman, he wants to do everything in his power to bring her joy. This selfless approach is a hallmark of true love, rather than a selfish desire for personal validation.
A genuine connection Between both of you
A good connection with someone is evident when they prioritize your happiness, even if it means sacrificing their own. This selflessness is a clear indication of their true feelings.
Good and healthy communications
In an open relationship you should feel comfortable discussing sensitive topics, even when emotions are running high with your partner, you won't fear broaching difficult subjects, knowing they will respect and value your opinions. No relationship is immune to challenges, but it is how you navigate these obstacles together that matters. Open communication is the foundation of overcoming conflicts and emerging stronger on the other side.
Committed as you are committed.
If a guy is hesitant to commit or does not share your desire for a long-term partnership, it might be a sign that he is not the right fit for you. A man who is ready for a serious commitment will make his intentions clear, even if the timing is not right. He will convey his level of commitment, leaving no room for doubt or uncertainty.
If a guy is still caught up in his bachelor lifestyle and has not outgrown his need for freedom and spontaneity, he is unlikely to be ready for a serious commitment. To avoid disappointment, it's crucial to have an open and honest conversation about your expectations. If he is genuinely interested in a lasting partnership, he will understand and be willing to discuss his intentions. If not, it is better to know sooner rather than later tha?nooo this one is not committed.
WRAP-UP
Perfect Man must be:
willing to invest time and effort to overcome any obstacle that comes their way. His dedication to self-improvement and being the best version of himself is a testament to his sincerity. However, it's essential to recognize that people have varying perceptions of what constitutes effort in a relationship. For instance, he might believe that his professional success and ability to provide a comfortable lifestyle are demonstrations of his commitment, whereas his partner might view his long working hours as a lack of investment in their relationship.If a guy leaves when things get a little rocky it means he is lacking in the most important quality you need in a partner, and that is a man who is committed not only to you, A man committed to you will try by all means to make it work and is not ready to leave you anytime soon.
It's easy to be in a relationship when everything is all sunshine and roses. The truth comes out after time goes on, when you let your guard down, when you can be more of yourselves instead of the absolute best version of yourself. Even the best couples don't seamlessly fit together. There is always a certain degree of work involved in order to create that deep and meaningful connection, and it has to come from both people.
When a guy is ready to settle down and sees you as a good potential partner, he wants to make it work. He wants to overcome the differences, to get to a place of better understanding.
A big mistake I see women making is blaming themselves when a relationship falls apart. They torture themselves with could haves and should haves. I should have been less needy, I should have been more agreeable, I could have been more supportive, etc. Yeah, you could have done all that, but it wouldn't have mattered if he wasn't committed to making it work.
There will always be differences, there will always be problems, you will not always behave exactly how he wants a partner to behave (same for him).
A relationship isn't about finding the perfect match, it's about finding someone you can form a meaningful, lasting partnership with. Notice the word form. It's an active process; it doesn't just exist. It's about working together, being a team, and overcoming the challenges.
Qualities That Makes Him Not Prefect For You: Be Careful!
Every relationship is exclusive and comes with a unique set of circumstances. However, there are some regular standards that point out a man is not the right one for you.
You Don't Trust Him
Without trust, there is no relationship.. In a good, strong, healthful relationship you feel at ease. You experience safety. You feel secure. You do now not feel constantly panicked and on edge.
If you don't agree with the things he tells you or are usually questioning his motives and his whereabouts, there is something majorly amiss. You can't spend your existence continuously on the lookout; it is exhausting.
Sometimes a lack of have faith develops because of some thing substantial. Maybe he cheated, possibly you caught him in a few too many lies. And occasionally it's something that lingers in the pit of your gut. Even though you can't quantify the reason, you just don't feel like you can believe this person. Either way, it's a huge crimson flag and a primary signal that your relationship isn't going to last.
There Is No Depth of Connection
Sexual chemistry is outstanding and is really important, however that by myself can't preserve a relationship. An notable sex lifestyles is only one piece of the puzzle, but for a lot of couples it's the solely leg the relationship has to stand on. I know so, so many ladies who acquired so engulfed by way of the intoxicating chemistry they experienced with their companion.
For a relationship to last, you want to have depth of connection. You want to recognize your partner intimately, and this goes way past his bed room skills. You want to recognize who he is, what he needs out of life, and what his hopes, dreams, and fears are. You want to connect to each other in an honest, unguarded way.
Each individual is composed of many layers. In our lives, some people see the surface layer, a pick few see what lies underneath the exterior, and very few see straight to the core.
Attraction and sexual chemistry are in no way sufficient to sustain a relationship. If that's all you have that's fine, however you would possibly choose to cross on if you're serious about discovering the one.
Lack of Respect
Respect is the most not noted element when it comes to making a relationship work, however it's one of the most essential. If you're going to have a long-lasting, healthful relationship, you ought to recognize your companion and he need to respect you.
Respect is large for guys. In fact, I'd say it's the wide variety one aspect guys favor out of their relationship. Just as most girls need to experience loved and feel adored, men also need to sense respected and admired. A man wishes to feel like the man; he desires to experience respected. If you don't appreciate him or the way he lives his life, he will resent you and will no longer prefer to be with you in a lengthy term.
At the identical time, you want to be with the accomplice who respects you. This capability he respects you as a person: your beliefs, your aspiration, and in particular your boundaries.
He Brings out Your Worst
As I cited earlier, relationships are supposed to deliver out your best.
The sad fact is, a lot of women give up shackled to a man who brings out their worst.
Sometimes you might not even recognize the person that your relationship has turned you into.
a relationship have to elevate you higher, not drag you down. It must help you reach your possible and become the quality version of yourself. Of course relationships can't be all sunshine and roses all the time. They take patience and work. But this work leads to a fantastic place, a vicinity of boom and grasp and more love and connection. Bad relationships are ones where the work concerned is expending strength on war and arguing and trying to win. A relationship won't always experience ideal and pleasant, but normal it will help you develop into a higher person, as lengthy as you're with a exact man who is dedicated to making it work and loves and appreciates you for who you are.
He Doesn't Take Responsibility
One of the largest relationship red flag is when any one won't take responsibility for whatever and instead blames you, maybe the use of a justification alongside the lines of, Well I wouldn't yell at you if you weren't being so annoying. Rather than admitting when he's wrong, he comes up with excuses and justifications for his behaviors and motives to blame you.
One of the largest indications of psychopaths or sociopaths is no longer being able to take responsibility; it's a imperative lack of empathy that prevents them from ever being capable to see the other person's perspective. However, it doesn't always start out this way. In the commencing he's enraptured by way of you and the whole thing you do is right. Then abruptly he's sad and he blames you for the entirety everyt wrong. If you erroneously cause that you're the problem, he may feed this mentality. You don't inspire him enough, you don't give him what he needs, you aren't supportive enough, you're usually negative. It's usually you, in no way him.
I'm not saying each man who can't take responsibility is a psycho; he ought to just be immature. But it is something to preserve in mind due to the fact narcissists are out there and this is one of their key features.
He's Selfish
Selfish humans tend to interact in selfish love. That is, they love you when you make them experience good; when you're behaving how they desire you to, they're the satisfactory partners ever. When you go off script, then they withdraw and won't do anything for you in a type of tit-for-tat retaliation.
That's not how a relationship works. A relationship isn't there to serve one person. It's a partnership and it's about working together, no longer one character working for the different
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Motlatsi Jacob Moketo is an author, a leader, music producer and artist from Lesotho.His books are of a great knowledge with a goal changing people's lives into positivity.
Mr Motlatsi J. Moketo is a new author whom you should watch out for. He has a lot to deliver to readers and he is about to make friends globally, be the his first friend by subscribing and follow him on Amazon. Book2read and facebook page. You can also write me feedback here.
Z
Find your Perfect Man
Motlatsi J. Moketo
Copyright � 2024 Motlatsi J. Moketo
All rights reserved.
DEDICATION
This is dedicated to all women around the globe. I hope this book shall be beneficial in your live. It is also out duty to keep a defination of love clear.
CONTENTS
Acknowledgments
i
1
INTRODUCTION
1
2
THE ART
3
3
STAGES OF FALLING IN LOVE
17
4
LOVE IS NOT JUST A GAME
23
5
A LITTLE ABOUT MEN
24
6
ROOTS OF WOMEN VIOLATION
27
7
A VALUABLE WOMAN
30
8
LOVE IS PURE
35
9
A PEFECT MAN TO KEEP
41
10
ABOUT AUTHOR
61
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
My acknowledgements goes to my family. Especially my mother, bother and sister. And all that assisted in making this book a reality.
1 INTRODUCTION
This book is dedicated to all women around the world. Greetings to you all. This time I decided to offer a helping hand. I hope this piece of artistic work shall be be beneficial to you-Maybe help you develop a deep knowledge and a strategy of finding a right man or a perfect man to fall in love with.
This combination of words is believed to be a shield for all women agaist falling in love with wrong men that pretend to love them and however disappoint them later-leaving them heartbroken and miserable. Upon reading this book, you shall develop a deep knowledge and strategy of being able to find a right man to love. Love is not a bet-it is very dangerous if wrongly placed. It is time you learn the art of falling in love and be able to tell a difference between a perfect and a wrong man before you could even place or declare love over them. This is surely a world a silent world pandemic.
Woman's love is like a great seeds while a man is like a soil. For your love to grow well, you need a great man to care and highly appreciate your love. No more look at a man and hope he is good to be loved. Love takes time, strategy and study before it could be placed on a certain man. You do not meet a man looking good and think he might be a great partner. Do not throw a dice on love and just hope things will be better when time goes on.
People just move into serious relationship without taking time to think things through and really get to know and understand the other person. They fell for looks, money or a desire to be safe and taken care of. They turn to be disappointed later. This are ladies that turn to be hurt mostly, they are women that already do not know how they want to be loved and it is never easy to find a right partner if you already do not know how you should be loved, appreciated or cherished.
In this book we are going to learn a simple strategy that I think shall help you develop safer ways of falling in love way better than before in your life.
Never hope nor think again. It is time you develop a strategy of finding a right man. Unleash the reality that most ingnore and end up in danger. Love is dangerous, someone is a single mom out there because of a thought that she was loved. She gave all and received zero in return. They turn to be very heart broken while some even develop a special deep-hate towards men-this are mothers that end up teaching young girls that a man is nothing but an animal that does nothing but causes pain.
Do not ever take men for granted. Do not fall in love quickly-Take your time, love is dangerous, with just one mistake-Your whole life might turn to be sour.
you now know that love is dangerous if wrongly placed, it is time you learn safe ways of falling in love.
WELCOME!
2 THE ART
No more think that men are all the same. They are not all the same but you have been selecting the from the group of wrong them. On the other hand, Do not stress out that maybe you are miserable in finding a right man to love you. In Africa women will even go to the "sangomas" or traditional doctors out of frustration seeking assistance on why they can not find a perfect man, sometimes they want to be married like other women or maybe they just want to be in a romatic moves. They go there with a thought that they have been bewitched to never find a perfect man. Some even go to pastors to for prayers, with a thought that maybe God might shine to assistance. This is a worldwide problem, more like a pandemic. Women want to be cherished but they are stressed out because they do not know where to find a good men. They tried but nothing was promising. No man seems to be right.
Some do not even think there are still right men out there. They think we are all the same. Some see men as animals or a devils to bring them nothing good but pain and misery. However upong reading this book, all shall change for better.
Do not give up now. I am here. Your Mr right is still out there waiting for you. Do not even think that maybe dating a same gender could be a solution, no man-let us solve this problem. It is also your time to shine. I declare that there is nothing wrong with you. It is yet your time to smile after being told I Love You. They say love does not exists and I say it does if you know the ART OF FALLING IN LOVE.
If you want Mr Right then Question is-How Do You Want To be loved.
Most women jump in relationships so fast without thinking twice upon being approached by a good looking man. This a is a great mistake that left many in pain and heartbroken, some sick internally-they need mental assistance. The next day they wonder what went wrong. Most women go into relationships believing if they date someone, they will be happy and eventually find the right person and live happily ever after. However, somewhere along the road to finding Mr. Right turns out to be a nightmare. The reason why most women get disappointed is because of dating a wrong man. I'm convinced most young women don't have any guidelines for the kind of person they should date. if some guy comes along and he's hot or shows a little attention, they will date him. Often, they jump in without any idea as to who this guy really is. It's like they're rolling the dice, hoping they'll come up lucky. Sadly, most of the time they do not. Every woman should have a list of qualities they want in a guy they want to date. It doesn't hurt one bit to be picky when it comes to dating.
I am a man who considers women very powerful, but I am with the fact that they lose themselves such power because of how they define love or see love. It is now like a culture or a new norm, women hang their love satisfaction in the name of money. Women no longer want to work, but their goal is to get a rich man to take care of them. Most women's definition of love is similar to money, no-money no-love, and this is a wrong definition of love and surprisingly they mostly realise later after acquiring all the money they thought was important that there is still an empty side that needs satisfaction. You know what they do after this realisation: they cheat on their rich men just to fulfil the missing part of love??surprisingly this time they cheat their Mr money guy with a broke partner?..isn't that funny!
A relationship needs balance. You do not want to be in a relationship with a man who satisfies you with 1, 3 or 4 things out of 10 things that makes you completely happy in a relationship because you will end up cheating on your partner, trying to fulfill the missing parts that make you feel appreciated.
IT STARTS WITH YOU
You must know how you want to be cherished, not what kind of a man you want. Knowing how you want to be loved shall save you from falling for the wrong partner. On the other hand, falling in love fast has been a disease killing so many-leaving them hurt and miserable.
Approach is much different between men and women. Normally men approach women they see beautiful to their eyes. On the other hand, women do their selection and go with men they see as good to go. It is like when applying for a job-say a woman is a HR and all men are applicants. A woman has a power to choose a man she wants from a bunch of those approaching her, but most women do not use this power to its maximum because they want to date men of a certain image, not a man who want to love and appreciate them how they want to be appreciated. It might happen that you get a man who has it all, talk of riches or money, to loves you how you want to be loved. That is great But it is unfortunately not like that in most cases. People settle in relationships they already feel mistreated and disrespected, they are not even 50% satisfied but because they are hoping for the best or afraid of losing being taken care of financially, they continue dating such men and doing this is actually like like sacrificing your soul and happiness for just a just a thing.
How do you settle in a relationship you are already not feeling complete and appreciated if not really sacrificing your soul?
It's time you change your mind, focus and unlock your potential. See yourself different in how you approach love. Do not ever go for the man you want but for a man that wants and loves you how you want to you feel satisfied.
Do not tell a man what you love or enjoy but rather let him show you how he loves. Try to be yourself. Do not try to change or impress him. Let him explore and love the real you. But before you throw yourself at any man. Be patient enough to let him get you right. Do not settle because he is funny, sexy or rich but because he loves you how you want to be loved-I mean a way that makes you happy and complete.
Have a pen and a paper to tick on the boxes he is getting right, its either he wins or losses-only his actions shall tell.
HOW IT GOES.
It is your duty to know what kind of a man you need. Know how he must behave, how he must treat you and more, you must know how you want to be loved by now If not-Have a pen and paper, try to list and describe all qualities that you think makes a great man who will make your relationship happy. Also do list of red flaks you do not like in a man. For example, you might like a man who is growth oriented-someone who acknowledge his mistakes and try best to change??or someone who does not solve matters in relationship with violance. On the other hand, there those things that you dont like in a man-the red flaks like a man who does not respect you or a man who blames you for everything.
These are things you must consider before being involved with any men. It is easy to define such as you always know what makes you happy and what makes you happy will surely make you feel loved. Firstly, make a list of how a man must act or behave in relationship.
Upon knowing a kind of man you want, it is now easy to select a man you think matches to display himself?. not to love him already but to put him on test or study; trying to find out if he fits your list of how you want your man to act.
Do not fall in love on a test, this is very important to remember, but let him think that you are deeply in love as to Let him easily advertise himself seriously. Be pertinent while still doing everything that lovers do. Have your time frame for a man to display himself. Be careful never to find yourself falling for a man not above 80% of speacial needs that you think makes you happy and a proud woman on your list. Don't say maybe he will change or try to change him later. No! If he fails to get you right. Dont force it or settle for less.
It is not easy to make a person love you how you want to be loved if he has never done it before. But it is much easier to get a partner who once met your goals on how you want to be loved back on track if they get lost along the way in a relationship, that is simply by putting puzzles together to find out where it all went wrong then talk and fix it through marriage counselors or therapists, it is unlike when he has never loved you-there is nothing to fix and you can not make him love you. It simply means you forcing yourself on him-and you are going to love and care for him alone while he does not going do the same HE NOT A TEAM PLAYER.
Never think you can change or make a man love you. It is difficult and shall also harm you mentally.
YOU CAN NOT CHANGE HIM!
This is the reason why most women believe that a man will change:
It is because such men already failed to love them how they want to be loved, they are just attracted to less than 40% of what makes them feel completed, it might be 10% of good sex, 10% charm, 20% of money.
How about other needs such as time, respect and appreciation? It is clear a situation can never be changed and a fresh start is a way to go because you can not plant qualities that you want in a man. If you try you are going to die trying. There is nobody perfect but we can notice red flaks we do not like in man, why then hesitate distance yourself out of such relationships. Do not ever think he will change. It is best to move out before you get destroyed mentally.
It will also be easy to walk away because you know that a feeling was not yet deep because your man was yet on test.
On the other hand, it will be much easier to take out your best in a relationship if you get a man who makes you feel adored and completely happy.
We all can see when we are not well appreciated and loved. It does not take long before a man displays himself. Look at men's actions after sex, that is when they start displaying themselves especially for new relationships-he would be used to caring, checking up on you but after hitting you will words like I am sorry love a
After I am sorry babe, together with more explanations and excuses. This is why a time Frame is very necessary in your plans--maybe a month, two or three. Study him before you declare love on him.
LOVE vs LIKE.
As mentioned before, you don't have to confuse love with like because that is a deadly mistake. Remember it all starts with you liking what you see. Then love after a clear study that you are in good hands. It is like sawing a seed in the soil. You don't just place a seed in a soil that looks good if you want to reap good yield, but you study if a soil has good nutrients to sustain what you are about to sow. You also do not have to place love at first when you see a man no matter how good he looks, there is still a lot to study. How many times have you been hurt by a man you thought was good to go by just looking at him.
I do not promise heaven but things will change a little bit in your love life. Nobody tells you whom to love or when to love a certain person, you are the only one in control of this. No person has ever made you love a certain person but you did on your choice looking at some features that turned you on. It is time you drop falling in love quickly in a dust bin, you have a choice of whom to love and when to love.
Love takes time, be patient to know him before you declare loving him with your mouth. Love is special but so a problem is quickly falling in love. We bet on love like we were never hurt before. I still think when it comes to love we risk a lot, to the extent we forget how much we were broken before. We seem to have a great hope and believe that things would be better. I know the bible tells us to be hopeful but it comes to love there is no hope. This is a high we time we stop hoping. It's time we drop these words like I thought he was better, this time I think I got the right one. You no longer have to think that a guy you have just met is different by how he looks or talks because it is not guaranteed that you will get what you see or think about a person. That is why it's still important to make sure that a man loves you how you want to be loved by studying him before you declare love over him.
Ask yourself these kind of questions.
How would I like my man to solve issues whenever they arise in our relationship?
How do I want my man to touch, treat or appreciate me?
How do I like my man to make love to me?
How do I want my man to represent himself to the public?
How do I want him to behave under pressure, during hard times or when not happy about a something?
How do you want him to act upon doing you wrong-does he accept his mistakes and and acknowledge them?
These are some of the questions you should be able to answer honestly. Be real and stay true to yourself, do not cheat yourself in the process.
There is a lot that makes us different in how we want to be loved however a good thing is we all know how we want to be appreciated. List all and never forget tick on a performance of your man on that is on test and if you see any red flak of what you believe will not make him a good man for you just leave on timely manner before you get hurt broken, because it is never easy to heal a broken heart, it has no medication it's better to act save.
3 STAGES OF FALLING IN LOVE
Falling in love must be a process:
You don't meet a man and the next day you are so happy, sharing with your friends how you met a good guy whom you think you love the day before. No! Remember all men are good at the beginning. That is not yet time to feel loved. It must be clear that falling in love must be a process for you.
Remeber not to confuse Like and Loving a person.
Firstly you like a man. This is whereby you are attracted to what you see. The image of a man that has features that makes you go for a man.
Secondly learn about him-if he really loves you in a way that satisfies you.
At least meet 80% of how you want to be loved. If not, leave safely without being hurt. It's unlike falling in love at the first moment and being disappointed the next day.
Be patient enough for a man to tick all boxes before you risk your heart.
Always know what you want and if you don't get that, Go! And never look back no matter what.
The art of falling in love has four stages that I think are very important and needs to be understood dearly. But before you go in to this stages, you must first have to know dearly how you want to be loved. In other words-be able to know how your man must act, behave or represent himself in a way that takes-you-away. You want a man you will feel proud of. It is not easy for me to explain a man that could cherish you. I believe we are all different in how we want to loved. You also know how your man must behave to really feel speacial and happy. You want a man who can solve issues without violence or having to shout. This are some of the qualites to consider for an example. More qualities that makes him perfect are in the next pages.
Like i have mentioned before, it is best you List all things that you do not like when a man does in a relationship. Also list all qualities you think your man must posses to really make a satisfying relationship that you would feel comfortable in. Be careful not to list how a man must look but go for Man's Actions because looks will never satisfy you-what is the use of dating a good looking guy who does not respect you? No use but how man acts is forever-if his actions satisfies you.
Look more into his actions, if they are of a man who care and appreciates you. Then, that will also make it easy for you give love at its best if you find him right. This kind of men are a good soil to seed your love. Remeber its all about HIS ACTIONS.
Now that you have listed how your man have to act to really make you feel speacial. Its time you know procesd of Falling In Love.
1st stage.
YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE.
This is where you first like what you see. Most women confuse this stage with love (ing). This is a process, you first like this man approching you. He represents features of an outside man that you would like to be in love with. You do not love him but like him?.be aware that you only like not love because there is are still more stages to undergo before you could declare love.
2nd stage.
STUDY HIM.
Now that you have this man that you like and think he is the one. It is time to study if his actions are really of a man that you want. Be aware that you can not study him away. It is best to give him a chance as to bring him close to study.
You now have a list of red-flags or things you don't like when a man does and those that makes you happy when he does. It is now your time to tick in relation with his actions. Have your time frame. Maybe 2 to 3 months but if you see any redflags before you could even evaluate results. Leave!
3rd stage.
EVALUATE HIS ACTIONS .
It is now your time to evaluate your results and score them out of 100%. Does his actions satisfy you o you or not. You know how you want your man to act in a relationship, maybe you want him to be there for you, involve you in decision making, respect you, appreciate you how you are to just mention few. Does he make you happy?
4th stage.
MAKE A DECISION .
If your man meets 80% and above of how you want your man then love him. But if he does score above 50%, advise is to Check if he is missing on major actions or just minor. If you think he is missing on major actions that are important to you, it is time you let him go. Do not have mercy. Walk and do not look back, that does not not make you a bad person. Even a teacher a give marks on tests, it is not a fault of a teacher that some fail.
This are four stages of falling in love. Now let us break it down even more. It is time you unlock wisdom. The way you approach love shall never be the same.
4 LOVE IS NOT Just A GAME
With love we form bonds. Bonding with a wrong person can bring bad results both on yourself, your family and everybody you are close to. Most women are single-mothers because of wrongly placing love-they fell for the wrong person. Most are also sick suffering from heart attacks-they are always in pain. Some don't even believe in themselves as we speak, They consider themselves failures in relationships. They blame themselves for past failed relationships.
They cry day in and day out. They are worried-they think that love is not for them. They are just not aware of the art of felling in love-it is a process. They are out there praying for a change in their man's actions. How do hope for a good that you never considered before placing love on a wrong man?
As i have mentioned before, you don't place your love on a good looking man hoping he is good and ready to adore you how you would feel happy. You have to make sure that he really scores 80% of how you want your man to be like in a relationship that satisfies you. Loving quickly is always dangerous, what if that man is not going to treat you right. Or what if he finds you not interesting like he thought because they also have got the their own expectations about you, which they might find positive or negative. Take time to know him better.
5 MEN
As said ealier, every man is always caring at the beginning, they seem to be good and loving. They are there for you and would offer some time for you. You will agree with me that all this process slows as time goes on but mostly after sex. This says it might be useless for you to play hard-to-get on a man because most men are Angels before getting it, they will continue being a good a man until he gets it no matter how long it takes. Do not make the mistake of thinking a man loves you because he has been playing along during a hard-to-get game. however you have to be careful to never be used for sex. Within your time frame to test if a man fulfils you. You will easily see if you are being used or appreciated as you will be ticking on your list-Judging from his actions. Always be alert and ready for everything.
As I was saying, men are always good before hitting it. They mostly act like they care. This is a step most women get killed. They mistakenly think they are loved and in no time they are hurt and heartbroken-wondering where the good they noticed in a man vanished. They will be like I never thought he would do this to me. I thought he loved me. I thought he was different?..and more.
It is time you master this strategy. Do not put yourself down or think that men are all not good. Do not think love was not made for you. Again, never think no man loves you however, this time you know your value and the kind of man you need. It is time you master Art Of Falling In Love and master it. Never forget its stages and you shall be saved.
Most women know and can see when they are not appreciated however they settle in such relationships because they are hoping for a change in their partners, while some settle just because of benefiting from something-this are people this book is about. It is time we heal and change your perception about falling in love. This is a book for those that are seeking a truth and a happy relationship not those that are hustling for money-pretending to be in love while they are on money hustle. This are women that mostly use their beauty in exchange for money in the name of love. This are women that weaken, destroy and change a real meaning of LOVE. they will be like I Dont Date Broke guys as if love is money. This are kind of women that influences violence on women.
6 ROOTS OF WOMEN VIOLATION
This is the reason why most women turn to be violated and keep quiet yet they know what to do. As i have mentioned earlier, women turn to mix love and money. To them it is like a man with no riches deserve no love and that is not a case. Be warned-this book is not against guys who think have got money but i am simply saying it is wrong to place love on a certain man just because of money. Sadly money on its own can never satisfy your love needs. You also need to feel loved and appreciated.
This saying, I Do not date broke guy has distroyed the current generation of girls and is yet to do more danger on the coming generation of girls. They will grow up thinking the same thing, that love is money and that a man with no money or riches deserves no love. This will have lots of bad outcomes as they will fail to define real love, thinking love is beneficial. Ask any lady of this generation-what kind of a man do you want. No doubt the answer will be, A man who pays for rent, who takes me to salon, a man who takes me out, who gives me money??just to mention few. To them love is beneficial. I repeat-this are women that wrongly define love and also influencing wrong defination of love on young girl and if this continues real love shall vanish in the coming generation.
Women of this days do not believe in supporting a man from the ground up. They want to find them already successful. Is this the knowledge we want our children to grow up with? Probably No because this has bad outcomes, like growing up not knowing real love. They will be with a believe that a man can do whatever he likes to a woman as long as he has money.
I have came across this kind of women-they confuse violence and being shown love-they are turned into punching bags-they are owned like pads-they do as a man says and whatever he does not like, they also do not have to like it, he wants to know everyone you talk to-and you are bond to do nothing because this man provides you with everything material-some women think this is love. Is this how we would like the future generation to know about love? It is still a huge No!. They have to know real love and it must start with us because young girls do as we does. They learn from us because we turn to be more closer to them than any other person, so if you want your little one to have a better future. First better yourself. In short let us change for the better tomorrow. Upon talking about effect that can be brought by love's wrong defination and its effects let us go back to Women Violation.
Women that have been violated or that are still violated know where to go or what to do, But they choose to stay underground because of material things-it might be different things but one of the most is-being taken care of materially. They mostly know, matter fact, they are aware of the laws protecting them from violence but the fact that they are dependent on money or material things which they wrongly call love makes it hard for them to be independent. Let me tell you a secret, men respect women who respect themselves-I mean valuable women.
7 A VALUABLE WOMAN
A valuable woman doesn't not care about what a man has or how much he has, once she feels mistreated, she stands up and opens up very proud broad because they are only there to be loved and appreciated, not to beg for money or anything apart from love. They are not worried about man's materials. If a man mess up, he know he is in hot water and all he does is to respect such women and treat them well. They know they can lose them upon mistreating them, they love them for who they are. That is why they develop respect towards them. On the other hand, a man is in a relationship with a vulnerable woman after his money turns out not to respect them. If a woman is not okay about something, they do not talk proudly and openly however they pray in every situation. They blame themselves in every situation, they even apologize even where they know exactly that they are right. Unlike valuable women, vulnerable women are the ones afraid of losing a man. Man never care about this kind of women. She gets mad and leave, he does not care because he knows that she would be back upon hunger needing cash. Men knows women to use and to love.
They are not stupid they also know when a being used for money in the name of love. Most men don't keep vulnerable women but they do use them because they also know that they are being used know for money in the name of love. Some men dating this kind of woman do not even have the shame to date another woman in front of their eyes. This is why in most cases you find women killing other women whom they share a guy with, they stupidly believe that such women are a reason they are no longer in loved-supported financially. It's time you think of how you approach love and men in order to be saved from being disrespected. It's time you become valuable, not vulnerable lady and that is the happier you will be.
DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS!
If you know a women that has have been violated or hurt before in a relationship. Ask them why they stayed. They will respond by saying I loved him. He promised to change and I believed him, I thought he would change or He took care of me. These are words you must never say upon reading this book. Don't ever settle for less, for a man who satisfies you less than 80% is its a big no! Remember it's always good to study a man's action before and after sex. As to collect a full clear report about him, like?.is his actions still the same after hitting it?
However some might be after you for a certain opportunity but the system is still the same. A person who does no tlove you purely always shows, they do not hide for long, they hurt you and keep apologising from time to time and always promise to do better but never does and we continue with a relationship because of thinking or a hope that he will change.
Imagine seeing problems in a man of less than two months, how about in 2 years to come-it is clearly going to be hell!
I will not clearly state how one feels or needs to really feel loved because I believe it is one's code but we sometimes learn from our family or couples we were once close to, Much as we would need to admit it, a whole lot of what we study in life, and relationships-we discovered from watching and interacting with our parents, siblings and relatives. Our dad and mom are the finest pressure in our lives due to the fact that we spend a lot time with them that is why learn automated habits that we grow to be cushty with in life. Though we would inform ourselves that we are by no means going to be something like our parents, we regularly discover ourselves doing the identical as they did.
These acquainted habits have grown to be automated and we are a folks that discover consolation in that which is thought and automated. For younger girls, it is not always uncommon for them to discover themselves in relationships with guys who are just like their fathers due to the fact those are the guys who had been their first exercise people. Further, if the fathers had been alcoholic, abusive, controlling, yelling, etc., the younger female routinely gravitates toward comparable forms of personalities nearly unconsciously. Though dad and mom can additionally say do as I say, not how I do, it is not is always uncommon for youngsters to do precisely like their dad and mom. For younger boys, in addition, they grow to be just like the guys of their lives and relate to the girls of their lives like their father associated with their mothers. Whatever one has discovered to anticipate from their households is what they will be doing for maximum in their person life - despite the fact that they are trying tough to keep away from doing it. It is going again to I need a female, just like the female that married expensive vintage Dad and vice versa. I know the type of lady I want and the way she need to act and be to make me happy. You additionally know the way you want to be adored and the way a person need to act in a manner of displaying love to you. this is why you realize while matters are proper and while they are. I usually say this, most girls do no just cheat however they do due to the fact they are one way or the other not satisfied. Even though they are in a relationship, they nonetheless have holes incomplete in how they need to be loved. Do no longer hate love, do not ever say guys are trash however blame approaches to offer love. It isn't always incorrect to fall in love however realize the steps to comply with before placing your love and trust in him.
8 LOVE IS PURE
Money or material things will never mean Love.
Love is not what he has but how much he sacrifices to see you happy. Money is always good but the world is not completed by it alone. This says it is useless to fall in love because of how much a man has if he does not fully appreciate and satisfy you fully- you want to feel speacial and appreciated. On the other hand it is more than a word fabulous to get a fantastic man who has money or rich to love and treat you kindly.
We all need love. Love is great, that is why a seed of our love has to fall on a good soil. It is your responsibility to ensure that your love is well placed. It is always our mistake that we fail to seed our love on a great soil that will make it grow well. Take your love as a great seed, does a seed grow well in a bad soil, it is obviously a big No.
Now that you know that your love is like a great seed it is wholly your responsibility to find that fabulous man to grow your love with. That must be a man who is ready to take your love and make sure that it grows well. It is in your power to do the right selection. There are lots of great men out there, even yours is there. You can never be a good soul and never attract a evil soul. Just be patient, your time is coming because you hace have acquired skill on falling in love-things you should consider. It is currently un your knowledge currently that you know when, how and to whom to place your love right.
There are lots of great men out here however they are mostly not seen everywhere. They are not mostly found in the clubs. They are not also seen a lot because they mostly don't walk around charming women. They are not interested in posting sexy pictures on social media. These men are mostly seen in leadership seminars, churches, community developments, human rights and gender violence activists, to mention few. Get me right, I am not saying every men in this sectors might be good for you but at least you can find a potential there than your crush who posts pictures of how sexy he is on social media , I am sorry if you not a kind of woman who fall for such men and expect love. Anyway this are men that want to be loved by women, they feel completed when there are plenty women around them and this are men you don't want to risk your love for no matter times they tells you how much they LOVE YOU because they actually do not stick to one woman. These are guys that think they are good at playing cheating game and it has never worked for them and by the time their victims find out, it is nothing but a hell of a heartbreak. It must be in you that LOVE is not how great a man looks or has but how much you feel fulfilled around him.
As mentioned before, most women love quickly. This happens because they fell for the first time looks. They find out later that they placed their love on the wrong person. Sometimes it is not even easy to walk away because the feeling is too deep. You grew its roots down into your heart before a proper time and good study. Even if you knew a person-maybe he is a neighbour or workmate but there are major things that you still need to confirm because a person is always different in a relationship even if they were once your friend or just a person you knew great from a distance.
How do you meet a man in a club and expect to reap fruits of good love in him? Same thing applies, how are you a party lady or a club woman and expect to be loved and appreciated. Are you going to expect your man to change after your relationship or you are going want him to continue clubbing, or will you say i will club with him, then is it going to be always that you will be with him or won't care and also enjoy partying elsewhere-it is probably a huge no, that is clearly going be a sick relationship. And people make these kinds of mistakes, sometimes even get married and end up having kids. Now tell me, what are you going to think when your man is clubbing while you are at home? Aren't you going to think he is going to get to other women just like he got to you in the club before, we all know that things that happen there, you are probably going to think this way and this going to affect you emotionally and will also affect your relationship leading to a break up. A very worse situation is when there are children involved, and this happened because of two people who wrongly fell in love as they were both not in a good environment for love. It is true that you can find love everywhere but the one found from a club or a partying animal does not mostly go well.
It is now clear that there are places and situations that are not good to find love.
Love does not need a bad environment.
It has got to find you ready for it. It requires change and growth. It requires a person who knows between good and bad. A person of humanity-who knows pain and never wants to see others hurt. Who sees danger from a distance, above all love requires humanity and growth.
How are you going to know a good man if you are not good yourself. I know we have freedom to be whomever we want to be like Dressing how we want to and more. We all want to be beautiful however look at how you present yourself because how you present yourself determines what kind of men you attract. Are you approached by men you like? If yes then there is no need to look at your image. However, if your response is negative then it is time you update on your image. There is no church guy who will ever go for a club girl under normal circumstances. And the same goes. No church girl will ever fall for a party man. Water and oil never mix. Now it is time you look at your image to suit and attract men of your class because men still have different types of taste and class.
There are ones that like to be loved by women-they are never satisfied by one woman-they mostly pretend to be good men at first.
There are also those that love wild women-this men are also never satisfied; they are still looking for a wilder woman.
There are also men that adore having many different women they enjoy seeing different body shapes, different skin complexions-they are satisfied with the number of women they smash like they are going to win a certain prize.
There are also those that are ready for a good woman. Men that care more about their image. They are leaders or representatives. They know changing women is something they can not be proud of because they want to set examples to the community and the world in large. They like respect. These men represent growth.
Look at your past relationship, which class do you think you EX man belonged to. Never make a mistake again. Make sure that you follow the rule. Be a woman of value, know when to love and whom to love upon reading this book
9 A PEFECT MAN TO KEEP
I have mentioned ealier that we all know how we want to be loved. I have also asked you to do your list of how you want your man to act in a elationship in order to say yes?.i feel sartisfied. Below are the supplementary signs or qualities that could help you realise if he is perfect or not. Rember this are qualities you have to realise during Study him Stage
This qaualities apply to single, dating, or in a relationship women. They very important to look for in a man while studying him. If you are in the relationship already, then tell me, does your man possess this qualities?
Qualities
When it comes to relationships, whether you're flying solo, casually dating, or in a long-term commitment, it's crucial to recognize the key traits that set a truly exceptional partner apart. Take a step back and assess a men in your life: do they embody these essential qualities?
INCLUDES YOU IN DECISION MAKING
A thoughtful partner will consider your perspectives and emotions, recognizing that a relationship is a two-way street. They understand that your needs, desires, and preferences are just as vital as their own.
A partner committed to personal growth is vital. Nobody is perfect, and we all have room for improvement. A partner who acknowledges their flaws and works to overcome them will recognize that their weaknesses can impact you and the relationship. They won't dismiss their shortcomings or expect you to adapt to them.
PERSONAL GROWTH
if you're dating someone who can come across as insensitive, a growth-oriented partner will acknowledge their limitations and strive to become more empathetic and supportive. They won't brush off their behavior as this is how I am and expect you to deal with it. Instead, they will take ownership of their actions and work to create a more nurturing environment for successful relationship.
look for someone who acknowledges the potential hurtfulness of their tone and actively works to improve it, rather than deflecting responsibility onto you that all the time.
HAS BELIEFS AND VALUES SIMILAR TO YOURS
A crucial aspect of a successful partnership is shared beliefs and values. It's easy to overlook, but compatibility is key. Love alone cannot overcome fundamental differences. Ensure that you and your partner are aligned on important issues, and that you both respect each other's perspectives and are willing to work together to find common ground.
Individual values vary greatly, influenced by factors like religion, work ethic, or lifestyle. Remeber water and oil do not mix, therefore you need a partner with same value and belifs and a connection between both of you shall be much better.
He Values, Embrace and accept you
A partner who truly values you will create a sanctuary where you feel comfortable being yourself, regardless of your imperfections and all. They won't judge or reject you, and you won't need to wear a mask or pretend to be someone you are not to gain their approval.
He is There For You
A dependable partner will be there to lend a helping hand, even if it's inconvenient for them.
Life is full of twists and turns, and a genuine partner will stand by your side, willing to make sacrifices and find common ground when necessary.
He Views You As an Equal and A Team Player
He acknowledge that together, you're stronger than apart. He value your thoughts, ambitions, and opinions, and respect your choices and circumstances. They do not try to be-little or control you, but rather appreciate and support you.
A man who truly cares about you will strive to make you happy. This desire is rooted in a fundamental need to bond with you. When a man genuinely loves a woman, he wants to do everything in his power to bring her joy. This selfless approach is a hallmark of true love, rather than a selfish desire for personal validation.
A genuine connection Between both of you
A good connection with someone is evident when they prioritize your happiness, even if it means sacrificing their own. This selflessness is a clear indication of their true feelings.
Good and healthy communications
In an open relationship you should feel comfortable discussing sensitive topics, even when emotions are running high with your partner, you won't fear broaching difficult subjects, knowing they will respect and value your opinions. No relationship is immune to challenges, but it is how you navigate these obstacles together that matters. Open communication is the foundation of overcoming conflicts and emerging stronger on the other side.
Committed as you are committed.
If a guy is hesitant to commit or does not share your desire for a long-term partnership, it might be a sign that he is not the right fit for you. A man who is ready for a serious commitment will make his intentions clear, even if the timing is not right. He will convey his level of commitment, leaving no room for doubt or uncertainty.
If a guy is still caught up in his bachelor lifestyle and has not outgrown his need for freedom and spontaneity, he is unlikely to be ready for a serious commitment. To avoid disappointment, it's crucial to have an open and honest conversation about your expectations. If he is genuinely interested in a lasting partnership, he will understand and be willing to discuss his intentions. If not, it is better to know sooner rather than later tha?nooo this one is not committed.
WRAP-UP
Perfect Man must be:
willing to invest time and effort to overcome any obstacle that comes their way. His dedication to self-improvement and being the best version of himself is a testament to his sincerity. However, it's essential to recognize that people have varying perceptions of what constitutes effort in a relationship. For instance, he might believe that his professional success and ability to provide a comfortable lifestyle are demonstrations of his commitment, whereas his partner might view his long working hours as a lack of investment in their relationship.If a guy leaves when things get a little rocky it means he is lacking in the most important quality you need in a partner, and that is a man who is committed not only to you, A man committed to you will try by all means to make it work and is not ready to leave you anytime soon.
It's easy to be in a relationship when everything is all sunshine and roses. The truth comes out after time goes on, when you let your guard down, when you can be more of yourselves instead of the absolute best version of yourself. Even the best couples don't seamlessly fit together. There is always a certain degree of work involved in order to create that deep and meaningful connection, and it has to come from both people.
When a guy is ready to settle down and sees you as a good potential partner, he wants to make it work. He wants to overcome the differences, to get to a place of better understanding.
A big mistake I see women making is blaming themselves when a relationship falls apart. They torture themselves with could haves and should haves. I should have been less needy, I should have been more agreeable, I could have been more supportive, etc. Yeah, you could have done all that, but it wouldn't have mattered if he wasn't committed to making it work.
There will always be differences, there will always be problems, you will not always behave exactly how he wants a partner to behave (same for him).
A relationship isn't about finding the perfect match, it's about finding someone you can form a meaningful, lasting partnership with. Notice the word form. It's an active process; it doesn't just exist. It's about working together, being a team, and overcoming the challenges.
Qualities That Makes Him Not Prefect For You: Be Careful!
Every relationship is exclusive and comes with a unique set of circumstances. However, there are some regular standards that point out a man is not the right one for you.
You Don't Trust Him
Without trust, there is no relationship.. In a good, strong, healthful relationship you feel at ease. You experience safety. You feel secure. You do now not feel constantly panicked and on edge.
If you don't agree with the things he tells you or are usually questioning his motives and his whereabouts, there is something majorly amiss. You can't spend your existence continuously on the lookout; it is exhausting.
Sometimes a lack of have faith develops because of some thing substantial. Maybe he cheated, possibly you caught him in a few too many lies. And occasionally it's something that lingers in the pit of your gut. Even though you can't quantify the reason, you just don't feel like you can believe this person. Either way, it's a huge crimson flag and a primary signal that your relationship isn't going to last.
There Is No Depth of Connection
Sexual chemistry is outstanding and is really important, however that by myself can't preserve a relationship. An notable sex lifestyles is only one piece of the puzzle, but for a lot of couples it's the solely leg the relationship has to stand on. I know so, so many ladies who acquired so engulfed by way of the intoxicating chemistry they experienced with their companion.
For a relationship to last, you want to have depth of connection. You want to recognize your partner intimately, and this goes way past his bed room skills. You want to recognize who he is, what he needs out of life, and what his hopes, dreams, and fears are. You want to connect to each other in an honest, unguarded way.
Each individual is composed of many layers. In our lives, some people see the surface layer, a pick few see what lies underneath the exterior, and very few see straight to the core.
Attraction and sexual chemistry are in no way sufficient to sustain a relationship. If that's all you have that's fine, however you would possibly choose to cross on if you're serious about discovering the one.
Lack of Respect
Respect is the most not noted element when it comes to making a relationship work, however it's one of the most essential. If you're going to have a long-lasting, healthful relationship, you ought to recognize your companion and he need to respect you.
Respect is large for guys. In fact, I'd say it's the wide variety one aspect guys favor out of their relationship. Just as most girls need to experience loved and feel adored, men also need to sense respected and admired. A man wishes to feel like the man; he desires to experience respected. If you don't appreciate him or the way he lives his life, he will resent you and will no longer prefer to be with you in a lengthy term.
At the identical time, you want to be with the accomplice who respects you. This capability he respects you as a person: your beliefs, your aspiration, and in particular your boundaries.
He Brings out Your Worst
As I cited earlier, relationships are supposed to deliver out your best.
The sad fact is, a lot of women give up shackled to a man who brings out their worst.
Sometimes you might not even recognize the person that your relationship has turned you into.
a relationship have to elevate you higher, not drag you down. It must help you reach your possible and become the quality version of yourself. Of course relationships can't be all sunshine and roses all the time. They take patience and work. But this work leads to a fantastic place, a vicinity of boom and grasp and more love and connection. Bad relationships are ones where the work concerned is expending strength on war and arguing and trying to win. A relationship won't always experience ideal and pleasant, but normal it will help you develop into a higher person, as lengthy as you're with a exact man who is dedicated to making it work and loves and appreciates you for who you are.
He Doesn't Take Responsibility
One of the largest relationship red flag is when any one won't take responsibility for whatever and instead blames you, maybe the use of a justification alongside the lines of, Well I wouldn't yell at you if you weren't being so annoying. Rather than admitting when he's wrong, he comes up with excuses and justifications for his behaviors and motives to blame you.
One of the largest indications of psychopaths or sociopaths is no longer being able to take responsibility; it's a imperative lack of empathy that prevents them from ever being capable to see the other person's perspective. However, it doesn't always start out this way. In the commencing he's enraptured by way of you and the whole thing you do is right. Then abruptly he's sad and he blames you for the entirety everyt wrong. If you erroneously cause that you're the problem, he may feed this mentality. You don't inspire him enough, you don't give him what he needs, you aren't supportive enough, you're usually negative. It's usually you, in no way him.
I'm not saying each man who can't take responsibility is a psycho; he ought to just be immature. But it is something to preserve in mind due to the fact narcissists are out there and this is one of their key features.
He's Selfish
Selfish humans tend to interact in selfish love. That is, they love you when you make them experience good; when you're behaving how they desire you to, they're the satisfactory partners ever. When you go off script, then they withdraw and won't do anything for you in a type of tit-for-tat retaliation.
That's not how a relationship works. A relationship isn't there to serve one person. It's a partnership and it's about working together, no longer one character working for the different
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Motlatsi Jacob Moketo is an author, a leader, music producer and artist from Lesotho.His books are of a great knowledge with a goal changing people's lives into positivity.
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