(Story dedicated to Luz)
She was never the sweet kind.
I never had the chance to ask why, but I can say for a fact that she can sometimes be unappreciative. Back in the day, I’d spent hours, even months writing how I feel about her, telling her through poems and letters how much I admired her beauty in all she is. But despite all the adoration, all the sweet talks and romance I’ve shown her, she never reciprocated easily. Was she trying to play hard to get back then?
For her I was just another Balikbayan.
I’ve traveled the world earlier in my life, in pursuit of knowledge and consciousness, experiencing different cultures, enjoying youthful freedom. And some say the path I took was crazy enough to include romance. During my many travels I have loved a total of nine great beautiful women. (ten during my lifetime, if you include Luz…) Sure I admit, I was a smooth talker back then but despite my strong charisma and charm, she was the only one whom I loved the most.
Her beauty was one of a kind.
In fact, many have fought over her beauty and prior to our romance she was in a traumatic relationship, held captive for many years. She was just a young woman back then when they first met each other, and she was blinded by the fact that this man was from a far foreign land and so she accepted him. Years passed and the same man whom she accepted wholeheartedly started to show his true nature towards her. The man started to treat her harshly. She suffered a lot; she was beaten, used and neglected. The man even went as far as imposing his beliefs and religion on her. There was nothing she could do and she felt helpless.
We found hope in each other’s arms.
I met her when I was still a teenager. My brother introduced her to me. And just like all the men back then, my kuya Paciano also had strong feelings for her. She was still with that ruthless foreign man that time, but that never stopped me from pursuing her. From the moment I saw her beauty, I knew that I’d fight for her in every way that I could. I was twenty-one when I started my travels and I continued writing to her while still abroad. I sent her letters, poems, books and all kinds of new found knowledge that I could share. I wanted her to realize that there was so much more to life, and that she shouldn’t settle for anything less than what she deserves. I wanted her to understand that she was far greater than him. That her life would be so much better without him. I was wrong to believe that in some way, I’ve inspired her during that time. It seems like the long agonizing years with him had made her numb from the chains that clenched her freedom. She became faithless, succumbing to the fear that grew inside her, she couldn’t decide for herself whether to stay with him or leave him. But despite that, I continued to love her unconditionally.
“He who would love much has also much to suffer.”
And because many people were against our brewing romance eventually, we got caught. Of course the man was furious but despite him knowing about our betrayal, I continued to love her till the end. He retaliated by making her suffer more than she could bear. Then the man turned to those who were also dear to me. He accused my family, my friends and colleagues of conspiring against him. He set fire to each and every letter, every book, literature and all forms of hope that I gave her. All was burned to ashes, together with the things that reminded her of my existence. Ours is an ill-fated romance that I long to continue, up to this day. But somehow I knew from the start that I was destined to be far from her embrace. And so I went back home and I took the fall.
30th of December was when I last saw her.
The rays of the sun were seeping through the clouds that day, it was dawnbreak and I felt her warm presence towards my back, and so I turned around halfway to embrace her.
“Consummatum est” (It is finished.)
She was really devastated after realizing how much I sacrificed for her. So eventually, in the following years, she would then have the courage to leave him. (With the help of another foreign man. Of course.) My Mother Teodora recently brought news. It took her years to get here though, (maybe because she’s now older and frail) and she told me that my beloved Luzviminda and that young foreign man were still together. Having been able to escape the horrors of her tormenting past, she is now quite stable with her new found romance.
But knowing this provides no solace. I’ll just hope for the best, for my dear Luzviminda.
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“I want to show to those who deprive people the right to love their country, that when we know how to sacrifice ourselves for our duties and convictions, death does not matter if one dies for those one loves—for his country and for others dear to him.”
-
J. Rizal
Footnotes:
10th : The best title to go with since it’s about Rizal’s 10th and greatest romance. (also it is the 10th commandment according to Catholics and you read the story!.)
Luz : Was obviously Luzviminda who was also my 9th grade geometry teacher.
Balikbayan : Was a term I deemed fit since they share the same value as a Hero.
“He who would love much has also much to suffer.” : J. Rizal (thanks esquiremagph!)
“Consummatum est” : J. Rizal’s last word (according to google.)
Cast:
J.Rizal : (what a great dude!) Luzviminda : Perlas ng Silanganan. Still haven’t learned how to love herself. (oh you poor thing!) Foreigner 1 : Philip II (booooo!) Foreigner 2 : Sam (what a great Uncle!) Brother/Kuya Paciano : Paciano Rizal Mercado y Alonso Realonda (whew!) Mother Teodora : Teodora Alonso Realonda y Quintos (so that’s where he got the long name…)