I was a woman who forgot who the fuck I was and it’s because my love ran to deep. I finally reached the point of being tired of my own shit and sometimes you have to sit with yourself and get real. I always was the girl to wear my heart on my sleeves and always believing in magic. I really started telling myself we had no time for that madness. I had to stop believing in love and start rising above all the emotional neediness.
I was a person who settled for less all the time just to be able to say I had somebody. I always poured into others with nobody doing the same thing for me. I would believe in people so much I really could do with just my touch and I never really ask for to much to be given back to me. I always valued myself by the way others views me hoping they would see that my feelings mattered and whoever didnt take the time to know me , would not longe be apart of my journey !
But I’m finally got my power back and I was no longer going to sit back and allow my heart to control me. Even though I was a person that loved, Love it really didn’t feel as much of the same way about me and I was so over that shit ! This would be the version of myself that acted like everyone else and worried about me. I was tired of being sad and heartbroken girl crying because someone was untrue and unkind to me. I had no more tears left as I pondered over my regrets I had because of other people.
It so many times I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize the woman staring back at me. I told myself everyday don’t give up no matter how fucked to everything and everybody in this world seemed. I can’t tell you how low I went everyday trying to be seen. Yeah I had anxiety and depression and some days it felt like they both would destroy me. The thoughts that ran through my head I still carry the bad ones with me. But I don’t let it keep me bound I was breaking free !
I was finally ready to admit that the reason behind my message was because of stupid man who could care less about me. I met some man who have the audacity to walk around like they are best gift to any woman. But ladies when we really sit and think what are they really offering ? Nothing but sex and occasional messages. You know those types of dudes I’m talking about the ones who would do anything to be the Gall-is the a G the man whatever label they claim theirselves to be. They play the role so good you even started to think he’s the one. Until the reality of who he was came around and bitch slaps you on the face. Fuck those lames ass dudes they are never capable of real change.
I was a woman that forgot her fucking power but never again. I was standing bold and I was selling these niggas the same bullshit they sell me. I was changing the roles and showing them just how vicious a woman could be. I was done letting this love shit control me. If being cold was the goal then baby I just scored three. I hoped for a genuine love for so long but now those dreams are long gone and this girl has just unleashed her inner BEAST. So when you come to me you better be healed or you will definitely regret the day you crossed paths with me. Yes we are all a little fuck up inside and make mistakes but I was no longer willing to wait for a Nigga to see the gift within me. See only i have the power on what controls me and I promise myself that a man would never be the reason behind me loosing ME ! “
@grow.heal.prosper
