"I WISH U COULD LOVE ME BACK LIKE, I LOVED YOU MORE THAN MYSELF"
"LITERALLY ITS HURTS MORE TO KNOW THAT YOU NEVER GONNA LOOK AT LIKE YOU USED TO LOOK AT ME BEFORE"
The first time i met you it wasn't love at first sight my love for you formed gradually, your personality, your voice sweeter as baklava , your fluffy hairs and you're eyes, you're eyes in those eyes, "I find my endless gaze, a captivating beauty, like a sunlit maze"
At the school everything was good but when i came know about you that you're erratic, uninteresting and provoking person; by my friend because she is your seatmate, so i decided that never wanted to be your seatmate ever in class. But unfortunately been you're seatmate: in the class between in lecture you have talked to me so the teacher made us to stay outside of class until the class finish, for the first i cried because of you, she was right your really annoying one: after that, later the last period the head teacher's class, so the teacher complained about us that we were talking in between lecture so, you told her that u can't see the board because of me, but the problem is with you right why she made to sit with you; i thought i never wanted be you're seatmate i think its written in my fate to be your seatmate. At that sec you started to annoy me. after somedays came know that you're a pure, kind, respected even u respected towards me and more the way you look at me, smile talking towards me i am glad about i have been your seatmate at the i never liked but slowly i had crush on you maybe i think its not crush i am falling in love with you & started loving you deeply i never fess up with because i was afraid of that what if you never loved me back but at the same i felt u also me love because the way u looked at me, make me smile you were the reason i mostly smile seen in my face but i thought maybe u are just being friend and because of love, i don't wanted our friendship end up so, i never fess up anything; just daily talking to you, admiring you and listening to you it been routine in the school but i was afraid of losing you.....!
I still remember the day you touched me, held me by my hand at that time i felt whole zoo butterflies, felt my entire world and the same i assumed that you will be with me the remainder of my existence but abruptly faded from my life!
"I wished with all my heart to touch you, hold your hand, hug you and cares for you but i can do is sit here chained to your memories and dream"
After some years later one day i told everything to my mother about cried alot that day i thought my mother will berate me for loving you but instead of that she will support me and moreover she helps to find you, so lucky to have you as my mother as she told helped in searching you in the whole town but my bad luck i never find atlast i thought to give-up but my mother told that never give-up until you find him keep on searching i will help you at her words i cried in her arms like really no ones mother supports her daughter in relationships , accept her love: but my mother did to me, i kept on searching you for 5years, i think you are not in my fate so tried to forget you so i tried to move on but my soul making me fall for you more and more so i started to search on social media you know how i find you; first i find one of my friend account in social media i followed her & went to followers to find you but u were not in her followers list, so after scrolling through her followers in her followers there i noticed your friend account without wasting a min i texted him not about because directly asking about you won't look nice so, i just texed him hello hi that's it after sometimes i asked about you, he give me your social media account and number too i was so delighted after seeing your photo in your social media dp i felt like my world is back to my life after 12years waiting finally found you in sec i texed you but my eyes widened when i saw your reply like someone thrusting with knife in my heart and breaking into millions of pieces: (to myself)after all i have done these all to reach you but you, you behaved like you really don't know me and overall i just got ignored by you instead of love i got your ignorance do i really deserve this, while searching you i skip my meals everyday, not getting enough sleeps at nights, sniffling, tears in every corner of my eyes, in mid afternoon without water, meals i kept on searching you all over my town but you just ignored me like i didn't do anything: i ignored my meals, family, friends and mostly i didn't even cared about my health, "i wish i could ignore you like you ignored me" but its really hard to ignore and tough to forget you because my love never faked for you, i told everyone that i loved you including my mother too so think how much i loved you i keep on talking about you to my friends and my mother "only god and my mother knows how many times i have cried for you...", "if you are not mine and i don't have any future with you, then why i am kept on thinking of you everyday like, every sec a day..", "i literally hate myself how quickly my eyes get filled with tears whenever memories hits in my mind" after that i let you go but i have some messages texted but they are unsent;
UNSENT MESSAGES TO YOU, MY LOVE !
I am sorry, very much sorry i am too late realizing that i loved you. i am sorry for being a complete fool and letting you go. Loving you was not really joke when you faded from my life i got really scared because i loved you more then anyone and myself, i was scared of losing you and when u suddenly faded at time i fell sick, started to cry in the corner, like to live in dark, like to live alone so many times i skip my meals and sleeps not even cared of my own health i prayed for you infront god; i am not scared of commitments, i really scared of what if some other girl comes to your life and love you more than me and i am scared because putting all my effects on you and ending up with nothing again. you know how i felt, your smile is like a quartz mine , i was totally broken when you left, and i decided to move on but my soul making me fall for you more and more. Always wished to talk to you, be with you and hold your hand forever planned everyday. I won't lie to you i still think about you almost every sec of my day, i miss you whenever memories hits in my mind. But one thing i never get that why everything went wrong and what i did.., its not your fault actually its my mistake i fell in love, afraid of losing you; i wish i could explain your eyes and how the sound of your voice gives me whole zoo butterflies, how your smile makes my world stop and skip beat of my heart. I never wanted to be in physical but i needed your hug me tightly until my heart get lighter and clam, hold my hand until grave, stares at me, feed me with your hand, wipe my tears, play with my hairs, click my ugly pictures of mine. At that time the way you called my name hits different i can tell its safe in your mouth at the first i fell in love with your soul before i could even touch your skin. I want to cry in your arms and tell you everything that i have faced to reach you....
"But in reality keep on thinking everyday that what if i didn't meet you"
MY LOVE ?
It was actually one-sided love i was the only one who fell harder in love with you and got nothing from...!
"It was painful, it was agonisingly slow; it was sad, it was unfinished, it was left untold and it becomes now "INCOMPLETE LOVE", incomplete chapter in my life"
THE END