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Tesa, Queen of Light
Well, all opinions are basically personal and so is mine. I could be wrong, I was a lot of times. Good news, you have imagination, writing and grammar are flawless. Bad news. This fairy tale for very young children is as generic as it could be. I knew the end after first two sentences. Which means boring for the reader. Couldn't you give at leas one outstanding feater to protagonist and antagonist? As this was this is kitch. Not to talk about ponderus Big Capital thrown at everything and total lack of any word that is not overused. You should severly us synonyms, all Words enable it. Dialogues are not just something, they are gas, oil pumping the story. So, for a very sleepy toddler this could maybe do, but only one of such type. Or not, what do I know, you are mayber right. Sorry, but I am old school, where short story is a mini novel with strong punch at the end, and original.
Reader
Noell, The Voyager Princess, Part One: The Crystal Isle
It's beautifully written and the expression through the words is no less than art.
Sipra Chander