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A Day in the Life of A school Boy 1
ok here's my thoughts. you have a really good base. I would suggest a little more paragraphs as some seem to be a little harder to read as the breaks don't always come at spots that seem to call for them. your grammar and punctuation are also not bad. There are a couple of places that need a bit of an edit, but not many. I am interested in seeing how this story develops. I am available anytime if you want to discuss this further. and be leary of anyone charging you...be careful is All:)
Lizzie Flanagan
A Day in the Life of A school Boy 1
Hi! I’ve been enjoying your story a lot your scenes are easy to imagine and very expressive. It honestly made me think about how cool it’d look in a comic format. I’m a commission-based artist, so if that’s ever something you’d want to discuss, I’d be happy to chat. 📩 Discord & Instagram: lizziedoesitall
lizzie.jasmine