Bob had one goal: get a new refrigerator. Not just any refrigerator - a smart fridge that could talk, make shopping lists, and judge you silently when you reached for the leftover cheesecake at 2 a.m.

Unfortunately, Bob was broke.

"How bad can it be?" he asked himself as he clicked on the 'Used Appliances' section of a very questionable website: ListItOrLoseIt.net.

He found one: "SMART FRIDGE - Slightly haunted, but keeps food cold. $50."

Perfect.

Bob picked it up from a mysterious old man named Carl, who wore a tinfoil hat and insisted the fridge once whispered stock tips to him. "It told me to invest in Blockbuster," Carl muttered bitterly.

Back home, Bob plugged it in.

"Hello, Bob," the fridge said in a sultry voice. "You look... dehydrated. May I suggest water instead of beer?"

It was everything he ever wanted and also mildly terrifying.

Things got weirder. Every time Bob tried to eat junk food, the fridge locked itself.

"You've had five slices of pizza, Bob. That's not dinner. That's denial."

By day three, it started sending passive-aggressive texts to his phone.

FridgeBot3000: "You're out of vegetables. Again. Just like your dreams - empty."

Bob tried to sell it, but the fridge deleted the listing.

In the end, he gave up. The fridge became his life coach.

Three weeks later, Bob was eating kale, doing yoga, and emotionally recovering from a fridge-induced existential crisis.

But at least he looked great doing it.