Neither one of them said a word for a few minutes. Jacob broke the silence. "You sure do a lot of crying to be my guardian angel." The lighthouse laughed. "I told you, emotions are meant to be experienced on this side. A different form of energy that I don't feel all the time. So when I'm here I enjoy them." Jacob looked at the domineering figure. "You enjoy crying?" The Lighthouse laughed again. "And laughing." He said. "And surprise, wonder, curiosity. Yes I do enjoy crying. The ends justify the means." Jacob was curious. " What do you mean?" He asked. "The human body is meant to house only so much pure energy at any given time. Your conscious and subconscious is a huge percentage of that pure energy. Emotion creates more energy. Well, not create, so much as transfers pure energy from the other side to this side through your subconscious that's still very much fully connected to everything. Grief is by far the most powerful emotion. Simply because it's a combination of several different emotions. All that energy is concentrated into your consciousness. And if it isn't released it will harm the matter it inhabits, your body and your brain. And since grief is so powerful it needs a powerful way to dispel from the body. Crying. It's the safest way to dispose of all that energy." Jacob never thought about emotions and energy that. He reflected for a moment before saying "that's some deep shit family." The Lighthouse nodded in agreement. "So," he asked Jacob "Do you think your mom's life is easier without you?" Jacob thought about the conversation between his mom and Jessica. The Lighthouse interrupted his thoughts "By dying you hoped that you could prevent or shield the ones you feel like you constantly disappoint from more pain and disappointment. But death almost never achieves that. Because death creates grief, and grief creates pain." Jacob thought about his sister and his mother. He really didn't want to be the cause of so much pain. This wasn't what he wanted. "What do I do with all this pain? Why can't I properly dispose of this incredible pain?" The Lighthouse didn't say anything. Jacob stared at him, hoping he could give him the thing that evaded him for so many years. The Lighthouse finally spoke "The hardest thing for you, or anybody in your situation to understand is how short life truly is. Even if you lived to be a hundred years, it's both comically and depressingly short. So many emotions, so many days and different experiences packed into such a tiny piece of human life. But that's what makes this side so great. Nothing ever stays the same, ever! You can be poor one day and rich the next. You can be lonely today then deeply in love tomorrow. You can have the weight of the world on your shoulders, drowning in a sea of your own mistakes, inside a storm of anger and confusion. And you could die never knowing that YOU are the sea, that you are the storm. You are connected to an endless source of energy. Energy that you can use to bring whatever your mind can think of into existence, anything that you could ever fathom you can create, or destroy. You asked me how to properly dispose of your pain. Redirect it. Channel it. Focus it. Not inward, outward. Like how crying is for grief, there are people, activities, and passions that can slowly expel all that pressure and build up. But it's gonna cost you! Einstein showed that matter cannot be moved without energy. Focused, intentional energy. It takes a lot of work, and a firm belief that nothing stays the same. Not time, not matter, and certainly not the struggles of life. That's a fact." The lighthouse could tell that he needed more. "Let me guess," he said to Jacob. "You still can't see past what you feel, right?" Jacob nodded, then said "let me guess, it's because I was made to FEEL everything but I wasn't made to see everything." The Lighthouse smiled like a proud parent. "Exactly!" He said. Jacob lifted his head towards the ceiling fan, watching it rotate around and around. "That still doesn't make me FEEL better." He said as he continued to watch the ceiling fan. The Lighthouse looked up at the ceiling fan. "That's ok, that's not important right now. The important thing is that you can SEE better." he looked back at Jacob. "Ready to see your daughter?" Jacob shook his head slowly. He was done. "No," he said to The Lighthouse. "I don't need to see what my death is gonna do to my daughter. I understand. And yes, I still feel like I don't want to live, but I don't wanna kill myself anymore. I just wanna wake up from whatever this is now. Thank you for being my guardian angel and 'guiding me back to shore' you really live up to that "Lighthouse" title huh?" Jacob turned to The Lighthouse. Once again he saw tears roll down his face. Jacob chuckled. "I know you like crying and all but you might wanna pull yourself together. What? You trying to go pro or something?" The Lighthouse didn't laugh this time. He just turned to Jacob, hurt and pain decorated his face, and said "Miles there's no coming back from death. Once a life is done it's done." "Yeah I know," Jacob said back to him. "But I'm not gonna kill myself. I don't know how I'm gonna get through this but I'll put the work in. I'll find help." Jacob reached back under his pillow to retrieve the hidden prescription bottle. "Look, I'll even toss these down the toilet! I won't even sell them, even though I could use a couple doll……." Brandon lifted the empty pill bottle to his face. He looked around the bed searching for the pills that probably dropped out of his hand the night he passed out. There was nothing. "You don't feel it yet, do you?" The Lighthouse asked as he turned to face Jacob. Jacob continued to stare at the empty pill bottle. "It usually takes some time for the conscious to catch up with the subconscious. Death is a very dark and scary place," The Lighthouse said softly. "It's not natural for a being of pure energy. And it's only experienced when you travel from this side to the other side. In the beginning it feels like being lost at sea. Not sure which direction to go because you can't see anything. My job is to guide those soul to the other side. That's my title, 'The Lighthouse'." It finally hit Jacob what was happening. "Wait! Are you saying that I died? But how? I don't even remember taking the pills how could I be dead? And plus," Jacob began to cry. "No, because I heard them! They said I died on my mother's birthday! Her birthday isn't for almost a week! How can I be dead?" The Lighthouse wiped the tears from his own eyes and look at Jacob. "No, you took the pills last night," he said slowly. "And you died last night. No one will find your body until Sunday, your mother's birthday. I'm so sorry Miles." Jacob looked behind him to see his lifeless body laying in the bed. He was overwhelmed with great sadness. The Lighthouse looked at Jacob. "So, do you wanna see her before you go?"