PART TWO - Chapter 32

Mad Mike Gets a Visit

'HI MIKE, HOW'S IT going? Thanks for coming to Nick's funeral.'

'Hello, Kev. It's pretty good all around. Pat is a natural barkeeper, and our sales are up.' He said, 'Funerals are always sad, but at least Buddhist ones are better than our Christian ones. With the Buddhist ones, you get time to mourn at your own pace. Our ones, all over, tears, wailing, sadness all finished in one afternoon.' He cheered up and smiled. 'What about Myrtle then? How is she baring up?'

'She surprised us all by becoming a Nun. It seems like she is enjoying life in the "soon pat ti bat tam" or the Nunnery to you and me.'

Mike took a second or two to consider how he would respond to the following comment.

'I know what I wanted to tell you. I had a weird chat with a customer the other night. Well, this Geezer breezed in. I said Geezer because he was a right Londoner. You know what I mean, mate. You will know the type better than me, I expect.'

'I bet he was a West Ham fan,' laughed Kev.

'I did not want to ask. However, he was wearing a Millwall shirt. Our talk started normally, but then it got weird. It seemed he knew a lot about me. I'm sure I have never seen him before.'

'How do you mean weird was he after a ladyboy?'

'No,' laughed Mike, 'but he was interested in drugs and asked me where to get them. I told him most backpackers get a smoke from the samlor drivers. 'But watch it,' I said because they often have a deal with the police. You could be arrested and then "fined" instead of being charged. The tricycle driver gets some money, and the policeman gets the rest.'

'And did he want to buy?'

'No, that was odd. He then asked me about Laos. How did he know I was up there?'

'What about it?'

'Particularly what I knew about drugs in Laos.'

Kev wandered back to the guesthouse, wondering what it all meant. Maybe nothing, but he had a bad feeling about this visitor from London. He had better talk to Black. It may be necessary.

'Ah, just the man. I was about to call you. Skip's diver has found a package in the lake. It is a metal tube with a screw-on top and bottom. At first, the diver thought it was a pipe bomb, so he would not touch it. He would get the explosives experts to set it off. He then thought, why would anyone put a bomb in the lake? It must be something else. He opened it. Inside was a piece of paper with an odd scrawl. Ordinary numbers, some inferior numbers, letters, straight lines, and Hexagons. And some Roman script, not a word or number of Thai. We do not understand what it means, but it's important to someone. What did you ring me for?'

'Mad Mike has had a strange visit, and I thought you would want to know.'

'Tell me more.'

Kev explained Cockney's interest in Mike and drugs.

'I donʼt suppose that Michael Gains has told you he had quite an interesting time in Laos?'

'No, please tell me more.'

'He is an accomplished chemist. But, without formal training, he made quite a name for himself in Wales. Hence, his father's strongly worded advice to "lose" himself for a while. A young Mr Gains was supplying the local teenagers with popular homemade pills he manufactured in his bedroom. All this has become known recently. He carried on using his skills in Laos, let's say no more about it. I think you can guess. Now, I wonder who this Londoner is?'

'I have a horrible feeling it's the same man who beat you guys to our office. Do you know who he is?'

'No, I donʼt. We have heard stories about a Brit thrown out of the Paras for being too vicious. He then joined the French Foreign Legion. And yes, it could be the same man. Keep in touch with Mr Gains, and let me know if there are any further developments.'

Kev asked if Skylab fancied an evening at The Headrock. The idea thrilled her to have the chance to put all the bad times of recently behind them. They deserved a fun night out.

'Hi Pat, how are you? Have you been busy lately?'

'Great to see you away from a temple, Skylab. Come in, relax!'

The girls loved each other's company; perhaps they were not so different. Both are intelligent, vivacious, and happy to embrace adventure.

'Sorry, Pat and Mike. I hope you can forgive me. I recommended you both to a reporter trying to write an article about the goings-on around here. She is a real pain, but I guess she is just doing her job.

'I see,' said Kev, who carried on. 'I wondered whose big bike it was. I saw you riding yesterday. I forgot to ask.'

Turning slightly less green than he was the day before.

'She was looking for more than just a story.'

'Wow, tell me more.'

'Don't tell me you are interested in her?'

'No, just making Mike jealous, as I did with Kev.'

The girls laughed about their boyfriends. Then, the boys went back to their in-depth discussion - gossip about boys and their girlfriends.

Kev was chatting with Mike about nothing, chitchatting about other ex-pats in Hua Hin, which was always a popular topic. That brought the subject around to the Cockney. Kevʼs visitor was not tall but muscular, with a crew cut. The Headrock Cockney was medium height, stocky, and had blonde curls. Could it be the same man?

Kev changed the subject and talked about cricket, another of his favourite topics.

'How about starting a cricket team?'

'Sign me up. How many players do we have? And where do we play?'

'I reckon we have six or seven now, but we'll get enough when the word gets out. Barny will play, Bob the accountant, Doc the Kiwi, and I bet Per, the ex-pro footballer from Sweden, he's good at all sports. Some tailors are bound to play. Should be fun.'

'Yes, but we have nowhere to play.'

'With Gaffer tape around a tennis ball, we can play on the tennis courts, what do you reckon? I brought my old bat with me when I first came here. I do not understand why because I thought nobody played cricket in Thailand. Anyway, at least we have a bat.'

The beers gently loosened tongues.

'I did the same with a tennis ball in the nick in Laos when I tried to arrange a soccer match between rival gang members.'

'What, that sounds dangerous. Tell me more.'

'Whoops, I talk too much when I'm drinking.'

'No problem, your secret is safe with me.'

'It's no secret. Black already knows.'

'Really?'

They went back to cricket. Their various experiences, a little exaggeration here and there, made them County standard. After one more beer, who knows, they might make the England team.

'I only spent one night in a cell in London and got over-excited at a football match. Tell me about your time inside.'

'I am not proud of it. It all started in Wales. I was only making the stuff for my mates, not for profit, but my Dad caught me. He never came into my room, so I was stunned that day. My Mum only popped in with the Hoover now and again. She did not understand what I had in there. But my old man saw what I was up to. He knew what he was looking at. Maybe one kid told his parents. To this day, I donʼt know. He advised me to disappear for a while or else the Welsh police might take an interest.'

'Go on, tell me about Laos.'

'I aimed to see the world. I did not get far. I landed in Bangkok. I stayed a day or two but did not like the city. I then went to Pattaya; people had told me it was great fun there, but it was not for me. Then I went up north and took the train to Chiang Mai, which was more like it. I met up with a group of hippies, and we all toured around. I experimented with the local flora, and it was wonderful stuff! My hippy mates loved me and what I could conjure up with a few weeds. Until one night, we were all bust. Serious shit, man, they scared me. We were locked up in separate cells, and you could hear the screams. The others were begging to be released, but no one troubled me. They left me alone, and I could not understand it. Finally, hours into the night, a guy came and released me. I was expecting the worst, a beating, a trick or something. Instead, he led me, no cuffs or anything, to an unmarked car. Off we went, and we stopped somewhere in the middle of nowhere to eat and drink. He could not, or would not speak English, and off we went again. I dropped off to sleep. I was shattered. In the morning, I woke up as we pulled up into a small town.'

'Jesus Mike, what did you imagine would happen?'

'I did not understand where we were or what would happen.'

'Still in Thailand?'

'I did not know. I did not understand what was going on. They left me in a single-room building with a fridge, a radio, and bottled water. So, I waited for something to happen. Nothing, hours went by, but still nothing. So I ventured outside, and the door was unlocked, which surprised me. The neighbours were friendly enough, but they left me alone.'

'So, what was going on?'

'I did not know. Eventually, some local teenagers were brave enough to speak to me. Primary school English, but we could talk.'

'So where were you?'

'They told me it was Laos. They thought it was funny, and a big, supposedly educated falang did not know where he was. Okay, I thought I was in a new country, a new experience, but how do I leave? I had no passport and no money. I could go nowhere; it was a place with nothing to offer or show. There were only dirt roads, barely any shops, and a market where all the stallholders put their wares on the ground. Nevertheless, I enjoyed living there, and I made friends. I got offered a "smoke". They had pot and something else which I realised was opium.'

'Oh no, please donʼt tell me you got arrested again?'

'No. The opposite.'

'What do you mean, the opposite?'

'The guy who had driven me turned up again with a load of stuff. Chemistry equipment. Bunsen burners, glassware, and the stuff you get in a school science room. And pill-making gear, a press that turns the powder into pills. Plus...' Mike was not sure if he should carry on.

'Go on, tell me.'

'There were also some bags of powder. So I discovered what it all was: white powder and brown powder. The brownish stuff I did not need to test. I could smell it.'

'What was it?'

'Hash, pot, whatever you prefer to call it. Already powdered, ready to compress into pills. I knew what I was doing, and it was easy to knock up something that the kids would love.'

'I sense a huge but coming on.'

'Yes, there was. The driver arrived one day, this time accompanied by a big Jock, a miserable bastard. He, I assumed, was paying for it all. It looked like he enjoyed being the boss. He said what I was making was "old hat". He wanted something new, exciting, and something which turned fun users into people with an addiction.'

'Jesus, Mike, scary stuff.'

'Sure was, I told the man I could not just magic the goods up. I would need some books, reference books, chemistry and nature books. So, the next day, the driver gave me a huge pile of science-based reading material. Some of which were transcripts of court cases. Cases where people were locked up for making street pills were all very educational, I can tell you.'

'So, what did you do?'

'I did what I was told and set about finding magic, which I did.'

'Go on, what was it?'

'As drunk as I get and as talkative as I get, I wonʼt tell you or anybody, ever.'

The girls were having fun, giggling, still laughing about their men. Pat enjoyed a beer, not as many as the boys, but a good few bottles. She explained that in the past, she used to relax after a few glasses of beer or spirits. But a few more drinks later, she was no longer relaxed; she was like a crazy woman. Now, she had changed. She did not drink as much as she used to, and she never lost her temper, even with Mike.

'Must be love,' commented Skylab, which set them off again, laughing until they cried.