Nick Has Women Trouble
NICK WAS IN HIS favourite position, lying on the floor, but with his legs on the bed. To most people, this looked very uncomfortable. However, Nick loved to relax this way, especially in the company of a giant mug of strong tea.
Kev could not wait for someone to answer his knock. So he opened the wooden door, crashing into Nick's head. If that was not bad enough, he had also spilt his tea. Once the swearing had subsided, Kev promised to run downstairs and make a fresh cuppa. Instead, Kev had the chance to say that two young ladies were asking for him at the guest house.
'Forget the tea. I'd better go.'
Kev hid his smile, saying.
'I think it's about work.'
His comment went unheard and unanswered.
Nick moved like a three-legged greyhound, out through the office door and bounding into the road. Luckily, he missed a samlor as he crossed the street and entered the guesthouse, panting. If he was expecting a red-headed Irish lass, he was upset. Nick was puzzled. There was no one in sight. Finally, the wooden door behind the reception desk opened. The receptionist popped her head out and signalled for him to enter the back room.
Two girls hugged Nick. That was surprising enough. So was the fact that these were two girls he had never seen before, of that he was sure. If it puzzled the guesthouse receptionist, Nick was staggered.
'These girls came in, all of a fluster, trying to get out of sight by ducking behind the reception counter. I can tell that they donʼt speak Thai or any English, but they tried to show you, um, how shall I say, by size. I could not think of anybody else. Sorry, but when one girl jumped with her arms in the air, the other made big circles around her stomach.'
'Oh yes, I get it.' He said, raising one eyebrow.
'What, or who else could it be?'
Now, the girls were thrilled, with small girly jumps and little claps. It was Nick they were looking for.
Nick was scratching his bruised head. What language were they speaking?
'I'd better see Kev. Is it okay for them to wait here?'
'It looks like they wonʼt leave anyway. I'll get them some water and something to eat.'
She signalled food. Both girls were starving. Nick went to fetch Kev.
Nick and Kev rushed back to the guesthouse, and the girls were bolting their fried rice.
'Oh no! You know who they are?' As the girl's identity dawned on him.
'Pass me the baseball cap, please.'
They passed a cap from the lost and found box to one girl, who gently put down her spoon and placed the hat on her black hair.
'Now, can you remember her?' Kev asked Nick.
'No, 'fraid not, I have got no idea.'
'Think back to the return trip from the jungle. Remember the two passengers who swapped places?'
A little clarity was breaking through Nick's fog.
'Got it now?' Kev carried on.
'If they are who I think they are, this can only mean trouble.'
Kev turned and said to the equally flummoxed receptionist.
'Please donʼt mention this or those two to anyone. I mean it. I am very serious about that.'
He said to Nick, 'When they have finished eating, get them over the road and upstairs. Donʼt let them be seen. I am going to call Black.'
The two girls finished their food.
The lost and found box was again useful as Nick grabbed two umbrellas. The girls covered their faces, the way Thai girls protect their skin from the sun. This action did not solve any complexion problems, only to remain hidden from the outside world.
'Mr Black, we have a problem,' said Kev.
'I wish I only had one.'
Kev explained how deep they would be in the mire if Pi Meow got wind of this. Black did not need a picture. He was an anxious man.
'Keep them hidden. Give me a few minutes to think of something. Then, I'll call you back.'
Skylab had gone shopping, and Dam was out quoting a job, so Nick whisked the girls upstairs to his room. The girls were terrified of being alone with any man, but what had they run from? Whatever it was, it had to be worse than being in a room with a friendly, albeit colossal, person. Nick tried his best to appear non-frightening, which is difficult when you are built like Nick.
Kev said, 'I have spoken to Black. He told us to hang on. He will come up with something.'
'How long do we have to hang on for?'
'God, I donʼt know. Calm down,' replied a less-than-calm Kev.
Dam arrived downstairs simultaneously as a Thai man to make the situation worse.
'Hello, anybody up there?' Dam shouted.
'Yes, we are both here.'
'Pi Meow is here. He wants to talk to you, Kev.'
'Okay, I'm coming.'
Kev signalled to the girls to be quiet and for Nick to put on some music. Kev went down the stairs to greet Pi Meow. He looked and acted as cool and unflustered as he could. Dam left the building without a word.
Pi Meow talked. Skylab returned from shopping, laden with office supplies and some snacks. Her wai to the older man was formal, while the wai to Kev was more friendly and relaxed. She looked straight into Kev's eyes to judge how he was. He was not calm.
'Hello, Kev, hello Pi, is this the first time you have visited us?'
Skylab did not wait for an answer, and she called over her shoulder that she would give Nick a snack.
'Nick is asleep. Donʼt disturb him.' Kev hoped Skylab would understand.
'What with that music on,' said Pi Meow, sensing something was happening. Unfortunately, Skylab had already arrived outside Nick's room.
If Kev was worried by Pi Meowʼs arrival, he was quivering when the older man got up and said.
'I have never seen your upstairs rooms. Do you mind?'
Kev jumped up and stood in front of the guest.
'It's very untidy. Can you come back another day?'
The older man was in no mood to listen as he pushed past Kev. As the determined man reached the stairs, Skylab shouted.
'Why not give Pi Meow a guided tour?'
'Start with your room,' she continued in Thai.
'What is going on?' thought Kev.
'This way,' he said, pointing at his door. But, of course, Pi Meow had a very different idea and walked into Nick's bedroom.
This time, Nick was lying on top of the bed, saving his head from another bruise. His cassette was blaring out Roxy Music's Virginia Plain.
He gave a very relaxed wave and said, 'Come in. Do you like the music? My favourite is a bit old now, but I love it.'
Pi Meow did not understand the music or the English language, nor did he want to.
'What's in here?' he said in Thai.
'That's my room,' said Kev.
Skylab was already opening the door.
Kev needed the bathroom but could not leave Skylab. Pi Meow walked in and peered around.
'Okay, I have wanted to see your workplace for ages. Thank you.'
With that, he went down and walked out.
Kev slid down the wall, sitting on the floor. But Skylab ran to the window, threw it open, and signalled to the girls to come back in. Outside the window was a decorative line of brickwork. Wide enough for the girls to balance as long as they could hold on to the window frame; luckily, they did not have to stay there too long. Nick and Kev felt they were too old for this stress. Skylab was as calm as anything and said.
'The phone is ringing. Shall I get it? Kev, Mr Black, he wants to speak to you.'
When Kev finished his call, he came in with a bucket of questions.
Skylab explained earlier that she had gone to the guesthouse after she had finished shopping. Dam had arrived before her. Their cousin, the receptionist, had told them about Nick and the girls. They agreed they must do something, especially when they saw Pi Meow arriving. That was when Dam bumped into him outside the office. Skylab timed it to arrive, shopping in hand, a few minutes later. Luck or good timing? They judged their encounter perfectly.
'Black has asked nicely if we can hide the girls tonight. He will have them returned to their homes tomorrow. That reminds me: How did you and Dam know what was happening?'
Skylab explained, leaving Kev relieved, so it was not pure luck.
Kev asked if Skylab could fetch the girls, as Black needed to talk to them. He thinks they are Karen. He has someone who can quiz them and put their minds at rest in their language.
When they finished talking to Black's Karen speaking aide, the girls laughed and cuddled.
'Right, serious time. We need Dam, you, Skylab, your cousin, and Nick. We have to ensure no word is breathed about any of this.'
'Iʼll fetch Dam and Nong Gel, my cousin. Ten minutes okay?' said Skylab.
The Karen girls were sleeping a much-needed nap.
The meeting started. Skylab insisted they could trust her family. Especially against Pi Meow, with Dam nodding his agreement. Nick and Kev were unlikely to say a thing; Kev felt much better until Nong Gel reported.
'But, the Burmese cleaner saw the girls. I'm not sure if she heard them talking.'
'Oh, God,' said the boys in unison.
'Do we need to do or say anything to the cleaner?' said Nick.
'Not sure, but do not forget Pi Meow has a lot of Burmese staff at his house. Are they Karen?'
'A good chance,' said Dam.
'Let's grab some food. I know; why donʼt we all eat in the office tonight.'
He always thought better on a full stomach.
'Great idea, Nick.' So it was settled.
No more scares tonight, please.
Everybody was relaxing, even the Karen girls. They were looking after Nick exceptionally well. They were all over him, and he was not fighting them off.
Then...
Bang. Bang. Bang. The front door buckled. Everybody was motionless. Bodies were frozen. But the sets of eyes found each other, and then, as the spell broke, the Karen girls grabbed Nick for protection. The door swung back, revealing a larger-than-life red-haired Irish girl.
'Where is my Nick?' as she looked around.