Back To The Jungle
MAD MIKE WAS ENCOURAGED by Pat and Kev to push ahead with the tour business. His girlfriend, in particular, was keen on the new business. Mike now had the ideal opportunity, as two partners had turned up to check on their investment. They are more likely to drink their investment. Mike had been telling everybody who had visited The Headrock about his excursion company. His sales and advertising techniques were working. Quite a few customers had shown some serious interest in going.
On offer was a day trip or an overnight trip. The day trip was proving the most popular one. Kev, Skylab, and Nick had signed up for the first one. Pat was to be the tour guide. She had been busy reading about the wildlife they were likely to encounter. She told everyone there were wild tigers in the area, but sightings were very rare. It was a great tale to tell visitors.
The visiting Headrock partners wanted to see the tigers. They put Pat in charge, and Skylab was to be the official photographer. It was thought better that Mike stayed behind and watched the bar.
Pi Meow and the driver sat in front, two young lads in the cab and the rest in the back of the new, shiny pickup.
Pat was good at her job. She could not answer some questions truthfully, so she made up a tale with a very believable answer. Skylab would whisper a knowledgeable answer to her in Thai. There were a few wildlife questions. There were more queries about beer than animals. It was easy to forget Pat was more English than Thai, growing up and spending most of her life in London, where tigers were even rarer.
The Aussies, Geoff and Finn, struggled in their wait for the Esky to open. Geoff proudly explained that an Australian invented the world's first portable cooler.
'The guy deserves a medal,' said Geoff.
Nick happily joined them in a cold one, but Kev said he would wait and have one later. Bringing comments like, 'See what happens when you get tied up with a Shiela.'
'Donʼt you do it as well, Nick.' And comments in a similar vein. Kev could drink with the best of them, but he needed his wits about him.
The security at the gate let them through with a cheery wave. The Aussie lads were in awe of the expanse of water, as they were more used to mile upon mile of a dusty mine. Pat continued with her commentary; she proved to be a natural talker.
The boat ride was uneventful. But before getting on the boats, the Thai men had split up. Each senior man piloted a boat, and one youngster assisted in each craft. One boat was full of the tour group, and one had just the captain and his assistant.
Kev hoped somebody would ask why they had an empty vessel with them. It would be more comfortable spreading out in two boats. The last thing he wanted was to draw any attention to himself, and he guessed Skylab thought the same. He was soon to find out the answer. The group all made their way to the hilltop building. Inside the building, there were four crates patiently waiting for them. Six feet long, six inches high and about two feet wide, placed on the floor, with the turtle curry man sitting on top. He was keen to talk to Pi Meow. They immediately got into a hushed conversation.
The turtle curry man, who they now knew was Pu Yai, kept looking at Kev. The young lads made themselves worthwhile with small jobs. Kev had noticed the older man's interest, and he didn't like it.
The other boatman told Pat to take the tour party down the bank on the opposite side of the building. There would be something interesting to see.
As the group moved down the bank, they reached a plateau. On the flat stretch of trampled grass was a large cage made of flimsy wire and filled with sturdy cut branches. From that distance, they could see nothing moving, but as they got nearer, Nick yelled out.
'My God! Keep that thing away from me.'
No one had ever seen Nick move so fast.
Nick had a long-standing fear of snakes. As a small child, a family friend had dropped a slow worm in his lap, thinking it was funny. That friend was not seen at the house again. In front of him, this time, was the far more dangerous Burmese Python, curled and seemingly peacefully asleep.
Darkly coloured with a patterned skin like a giraffe's neck. Although it was hard to judge, the snake must be 12 feet long. They were all pleased the creature was in the cage, even if the wire appeared too weak to hold it.
Nick returned to the house. He had to get away from the reptile as far and as quickly as he could from the beast of his nightmares.
The three Thai men in the building were not happy at being disturbed; they all glared at the sweating giant. Pi Meow slammed the lid of the suitcase the three were peering into. He recovered his composure, put his arm around Nickʼs shoulders, and led him back outside. Sat him down and tried to discover what had unsettled him. Skylab and Kev ran up the hill to see if their friend was okay. Skylab explained Nickʼs fear of snakes to Pi Meow. He laughed and excused himself and went up the steps inside.
A shot rang out. The tourists looked around at each other; someone must be shooting at wildlife. Nick had stopped shaking when the others arrived. Naturally, the Aussie lads had to make a joke, saying he would not last five minutes in Aus. The python was the first time the Aussie lads had seen a snake in the wild.
Another shot.
This time, the turtle curry man was seen holstering his pistol. He said dangerous animals and wild dogs should be put down. He and Pi Meow had a little head-to-head.
Through Pat's translation, Pi Meow offered a meal at his place if they would help the boys carry a few things to the boats. Nick went the shade of lilies at a funeral, just the thought of going near 'that creature' again. So Nick made himself useful by moving some other crates. Pi Meow and Nick were finishing settling the large boxes on the second boat. When the cage, carried with great care by the boys, was placed on top. Nick was already aboard the first boat, looking the other way.
When the boats got to the other side of the lake, they shifted the cargo to the pickup, leaving them no room to sit. Nick would rather walk than go near the snake again. They were wondering what was going on. Another brand-new pickup arrived. They all climbed into the back. Then, they were whisked off to Pi Meowʼs jungle retreat.
As the cooking smells wafted around, Pi Meow took them all for a short walk. He led them through a gap in the foliage. He proudly showed them his private zoo. Felines, large and small, some with stripes some without. Primates, some with tails, some without. And snakes!
They had placed the new addition in a much stronger cage. Pi Meow was a proud man and loved showing off his collection.
As promised, a meal was their reward for shifting the boxes and cage. They were to eat 'old fashioned food' seated in the 'old fashioned wayʼ on the floor. First served up were fried insects, locusts, ants and ant eggs. Next was chicken feet cooked in broth. Finally, Nick's favourite, the snake, did not know what it was until after he had woofed it down. This time, Skylab translated for Pi Meow, who said.
'After eating that curry, you donʼt need to fear reptiles again.'
All those sampling the Thai delights sniggered at Nick's pained expression.
When they left Pi Meowʼs jungle home, the young lads stayed behind. They changed their jeans and t-shirts with two very nervous young girls who did not appear to speak Thai. With caps pulled well down, they were driven off before the tour group left in a separate vehicle.
The food was not to everyone's taste, but it was different and added to the experience of a jungle trip. The miners could not stop talking about the meal. It was just the advert Mike needed to get his business up and running.
One thought at the back of Kevʼs mind: what was in the nailed-down crates, and what was that all about with the young girls? If those thoughts were enough to keep him awake at night, what Nick told him was enough for permanent insomnia. Nick had glimpsed wads of cash and a paper showing a plan. Nick did not know what it meant, as it was after his snake scare, and he wasn't thinking straight. There was something else that poked his overworked brain. What dangerous animal got shot? Nobody had retrieved its corpse. Would they be proud to show off the trophy?
Mad Mike was in the bar as the tour party streamed in, all talking and laughing.
'Seems you all enjoyed the trip.'
'Pat is a wonderful tour guide; she did a great job; you should be proud of her,' said Skylab.
'Do you know, that's the first time anyone has ever praised me for anything,' said a weepy Pat.
Kev reported the news to Black when the Embassy opened the following day. The Embassy also had some news, but they had kept it from their "eyes in Hua Hin".