"So," The Lighthouse started. "What did you think?" Jacob put his face in his hands. "What did I ?" He retorted "That was awful. I think I could've went my whole life without seeing that. Itjust made me more depressed." The Lighthouse looked at Jacob. Sadness in his eyes. "Is it true? That you didn't trust her enough to let her share in your suffering?" Jacob lit a cigarette. "Yes and no. I love Meeka. And I trust her. But the last few months have been extra rough. We don't talk as much. And when we do it usually ends up with one of us irritated with the other. You think me telling her how much I hurt would've kept us from arguing and resenting each other? Maybe for a little while. But not for life." Jacob pulled his cigarette. "And you can weigh on people. Your life and your problems can really be a weight on people. Especially the ones you love. People say shit like that, especially after a death. 'Oh why didn't he say something? We could've gotten some professional help.' But I don't think they truly understand how heavy it can be trying to love somebody who hates themself or their life. Even now, they can't love this hurt off me. Even if she or my mom knew right now they can't help. Nobody can." Jacob put the lit cigarette in the ashtray and turned to The Lighthouse. "I don't know if this is working." He said "I don't think I want to do this anymore." The Lighthouse nodded and replied. "No I understand. And you're right. Everything is connected and energy is transferred, never destroyed. But that's what make this side of the veil powerful. Your conscious is pure energy. And humans weren't made to see the entire electric magnetic field, or to hear every pitch and frequency. But you were made to feel EVERYTHING. Even things that your conscious misses is picked up instantly by your subconscious. And it's because your subconscious is still connect. Not just to the other side, but to every piece of fabric that connects everything to everything. Like I told you before, this side was created so that we could experience that energy through time and matter. So that pain that you feel can be held by another or many others. Bill and Bob knew that." Hearing The Lighthouse reference Bill W and Doctor Bob, the founders of A.A, was surprising. "This isn't meant to cause you pain. I just want you to see how your pain, even after you died, won't be destroyed like you hope it will. It'll just transfer to those in closest emotional proximity to you."
"Look," Jacob said "I know they'll hurt. What I said was they'll also be better off in the long run." The Lighthouse gave Jacob a long hard look. "You still believe that?" He asked Jacob "Yes I do" he replied. The lighthouse didn't say anything. "Ok let's prove it, let's go see my mom." Jacob said. The lighthouse looked At Jacob. And then said "Close your eyes." Jacob closed his eyelids tight.