Chapter 1. THE DREAM WITHIN...LIFE OF AN ORDINARY GIRL
Am I being noticed, am I being seen, or am I dreaming? This has never occurred before. The bell rings, calling everyone to breakfast, and we're all there. I see the sun shining through the window and wonder, am I here? I pinch myself, still unsure how this could be. All my family is seated at one table, and my dad, with his deep voice, calls on me to pass him a spoon.
As I comply, my sister smiles at me. Moments pass in silence. I feel the love in the room, but I can't shake the feeling that this isn't real. I'm not supposed to be here; this must be a dream.
Well, guess what? It is. I'm all alone again, struggling to be noticed, giving my best to be something rather than the disappointment I seem to be to my family.
You try your best to earn approval, and when you don't, that feeling of being lost can be overwhelming. Trust me, finding your way back is harder than being found. My family was never there when I needed them most. Those moments only existed in my dreams, a false reality I lived every single night.
Love was a concept I never felt in my family. If I wanted to feel loved, I had to wait for the day to end and live it out fully in my dreams.
I often hear people say every family is stronger together, and I'm here questioning what I did wrong to always be left out. All I wanted was to be seen and heard. I never tried to challenge the values they instilled in me. I was the best version of what they needed. I'm not perfect, but all I wanted was to mean something in the world. I've been told I can be anyone and anything. I never stopped hoping that I could be what people think I can be and find the strength within myself to fight for that path I yearn for. I'm young and have big dreams. I won't let anyone tell me I won't reach them. I must push myself harder than ever. I just need to look beyond what's in front of me.
And experience the world through my eyes. Find my way and have faith that I'll find it. Dreaming nonstop about where I want to be and making sure whatever comes, I'll always be ahead of
what I fear. Nothing has been same since then. I began to feel like my family never loved me or maybe I was overthinking. No one could see I was never alive during the day. I didn't belong to the family legacy. I had to force myself to fit in. I started hiding from the world. I hoped to break free from the cell that held me back.
I called out every day, but no one was there to hear my cry. What have I gotten myself into? Who will hold my hand and set me free like a bird? I kept these thoughts to myself. I felt like a prisoner in my own home. Or did I let myself believe I didn't belong anywhere? Some nights, Ifelt like I was floating above the world's judgment and not looking back at all.
It wasn't until I realized I was scared, and all doors were open. I didn't have the strength to break free from the cell holding me. I wanted to break out, but where could I go? What difference would I make in the world? All that determined the person I could become. My family was always there, but I never opened my eyes to see it. I was too busy shutting everyone out because of my fear. Why? Every time I heard my voice, everything stopped. Why was I so scared of my living corpse? Maybe that's what I thought about all the time, and it wasn't like that.
As I walked around, all I could see or feel was the wind and darkness lurking over me. My heart pounded fast. I thought about what I did, but I needed to be stronger and overlook the world with a clear mind. I had to be ready for the day I was alone. I had no more fear; my family was always with me. Moments went by, and the cell was no more. How happy I was to be free and find myself again.
Indeed, when your family is with you, you'll never feel alone. Even when you think you'll never be found, trust that you'll be heard. All you need is to rise and never feel lost again. I decided it was time to be open and rise higher than ever. Being brave was my goal. Embracing the morals my family taught me and never thinking less of my dreams.
As I walked the streets of my town, I wondered if I was dreaming. Everything was bright, and the sky was blue. If I was dreaming, I didn't want to wake up. I laughed and kept walking because nothing could slow me down. Then suddenly, I felt as if I couldn't walk. It was like I was stuck, wondering where I was and what I was doing. Then a shiny, glowing light came through me. I wished that had never happened as I woke from reality, I set myself in. It was time to stop dreaming and start living all the experiences in my dreams.
"As my life changed, I had to make things come true. That was my only quest. I stepped away
from my family and found where I could be normal and find what I was looking for - love."