REUNION
Jay was at our meeting place before me, sitting patiently and waiting with his back turned. I walked up to him and as he slowly turned towards me, I realized that I was staring at a stranger I had never seen before.
He got up and smiled at me. He was smiling, but it wasn't the same smile I remembered. Something in his eyes was different, distant... like he wasn't him anymore.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"Don't be silly, Pam. It's me, Max."
Max?
I looked at him with confusion, and it all sank in.
They got Jay!
I was scared and mad at myself that I couldn't help him. He was the only hope I had, and now I was alone in this.
I asked what he did to my Jay, and he said he didn't know what I was talking about. His name was Max, and he's my friend. We've been friends since we were four.
Jay and I became friends in middle school, around the time my parents split up, so this was definitely not Jay.
He asked me what the name of the school was after I mentioned that, but I couldn't remember. The more he asked me questions about what I said, the more I forgot.
What is happening to me?
I can't let them get to me too. I have to keep myself. I have to remain sane.
I ran off as Jay, or Max walked toward me, but with each step, the world felt like it was shifting under me, as if gravity had lost its hold. I couldn't tell what was real anymore, Jay or Max, my life or the life they'd given me. All I knew was that I had to get away.
My head was throbbing. I didn't know what was going on. What is happening to my life? Everything was changing, and so fast too. I did the only thing I could in that moment: I cried until I fell asleep.
I woke up what seemed like hours later. It was already dark, and I headed home.
I could feel myself changing. I knew something was wrong, more wrong than it already was. I went inside and walked into my room. The door locked immediately after I stepped in.
My parents, my sister, Jay and his parents, and a couple of other people were inside. They seemed to be waiting for me.
I wanted to scream, but I had lost the ability to. Nothing came out as I opened my mouth. I turned to run, but I was moving at a snail's pace.
My mom began talking, and as she did, I watched as she slowly turned into somebody else. I could only think to myself. There were so many questions racing in my mind, but most importantly, What the hell is happening?
Four people held me and placed me on the bed. I looked up at everyone's faces, and they were all smiling.
I began to notice the details. They were all in matching blue robes, their hands covered. My head was throbbing, and memories seemed to slip away one after another, but as one memory left, it was replaced by another.
I was starting to remember things that never happened.
I mustered all the strength I had and started screaming: "My name is Sam. My name is Sam. My name is Sam!"
I kept chanting that phrase as if it would help me hold on to the part of me I still remembered.
All I heard was talking. Everyone spoke at the same time. It was all too much. Everything was happening all at once.
Then - silence.
So quiet I could hear the breeze blowing by.
I stared at the faces looking at me, and I could suddenly recognize them all.
Those were my parents, my sister, my best friend, his family, and my neighbors.
But how did I know all these people?
I didn't know them.
No - I know them. They're family.
I closed my eyes and opened them immediately. I screamed the only thing I could remember:
"My name is Pam!"
Now, whether my previous life was my real life, or my current life is my real life, I'll never know.
All I know now is that my name is Pam, and it has always been.
I fell back into bed and stared at the emptiness.
Now, everyone was gone. It was just me.
I watched as Sam disappeared from my memories, leaving only Pam behind.
I am Pam. I've always been Pam.