For several days after my conversation with Pastor Lovedale, I found myself thinking about little else.
One statement kept returning to my mind:
"A person does not become a sinner because he sins. He sins because he is already a sinner."
At first, the idea seemed strange. It challenged beliefs I had carried for most of my life.
I had always viewed sin as something I did. If I could stop doing wrong, I believed I would finally solve my problem. That belief explained why I spent so many years making promises to God, raising my standards, and trying harder after every failure.
Yet nothing ever seemed to change for long.
Whenever I failed, I blamed myself. I assumed I lacked determination. Surely, if I prayed more, disciplined myself better, and exercised greater self-control, I would eventually overcome sin.
But victory never lasted.
When I met Pastor Lovedale again, he returned to the same subject.
"Martin," he asked, "why do birds fly?"
"Because it is their nature," I replied.
"And why do fish swim?"
"For the same reason."
He nodded.
"Exactly. They do what they do because of what they are. In the same way, sinners sin because they possess a sinful nature."
His words stirred memories from across the years. I remembered sermons that filled me with fear. I remembered late-night prayers and promises to do better. I remembered the frustration of failing again and again.
For the first time, I began to wonder if I had misunderstood the problem.
What if the issue was deeper than my actions?
Pastor Lovedale then opened his Bible and read:
"For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin."
One phrase immediately caught my attention:
"Sold under sin."
The words sounded like slavery.
"That is exactly how Scripture describes man's condition apart from Christ," Pastor Lovedale explained.
The illustration struck me deeply. A slave may hate his condition and long to be free, but desire alone cannot break chains.
Suddenly, my lifelong struggle began to make sense.
I had spent decades trying to free myself through effort, discipline, and determination. Yet the chains always remained.
As I left that day, a new question occupied my mind.
For years I had asked, "How can I stop sinning?"
Now a different question stood before me:
"If I am a slave, who can set me free?"