Over the next week they had seen each other here and there for some stolen moments of peace. Some days were just so busy and mentally exhausting that all she wanted was to see him. To see the one person who brought her the most peace. Her busy heart and crazy mind simply craved the peace and silence that his presence brought her. On those days she would reach out to him. Even for just a hug. Just a simple moment, and there he was with arms wide open every single time. These stolen moments meant so much to her. He was willing to drop whatever was going on in his life to bring her even just one moment of peace. These were moments of Vulnerability mixed with Laughter. These were times that she would hold on to Forever and wouldnt share with anyone. She loved every opportunity she had to see him. She couldnt help but wonder how they went from seeing each other once a week to wanting to spend more time together than apart. She began to realize that she was getting way more attached to this man than she had ever intended. She was horrified of what this could mean for her heart and she was determined to understand these feelings one way or another. She wondered how you could feel this way about someone when you hadly knew anything about their life other than what was going on when you were together.
It was a Cold Friday afternoon, so cold that there was even snow on the ground. They had made a plan to go ice skating and have some kind of lunch. It was simply a fun excuse to see each other. "Ice skating??" She thought... Great another thing she would suck at in front of him. She was nervous to fall in front of him, but was confident if she did he would be right there to catch her and laugh with her. She made her way to the arena and paid for parking. She got out of her car and headed towards the door, excited to see his sweet smiling face. As she reached the sidewalk there he was. Running directly towards her. She couldnt help but smile seeing that he was just as excited to see her as she was. They entered the ice rink and laced up there skates. They made their way to the ice and to her surprise even made it around the ice a few times. The only minor incidents that happened were on his end. To his credit he only fell when he was trying to do something outrageous like spinning on one foot or trying to skate backwards. She almost fell a few times and the one time it mattered. There he was to catch her with a laugh. As they made their way around the ice the final time, the rink was filled with their giggles. All she could think about was how wonderful this simple moment with him was. She noticed how happy she had felt.
They made their way off the ice and decided to head to the PBG for lunch and a drink. Once they made it to PBG they stood outside exchanging kisses. The bar was full of older faces and the pool tables were hardly in use. They chose a different table than usual and while she set up the pool table he got them their normal drinks and they ordered some lunch. After a few rounds of pool and a few bites to eat they worked their way through the bar of old smiling faces, to go outside for a smoke break. There she was standing between their cars enjoying a smoke, and she couldnt help but smile to herself. She was happy to be spending a few hours with him instead of just a stolen moment. As she was smiling to herself he kissed her and said "You know, this is where we had our first kiss." She smiled and blushed because she Did know that. Of course she would remember the first time their lips met. It was strange to her because normally first kisses werent something she would remember. The more she thought about it she couldnt remember any of her first kisses. This was the only one that mattered, and with him she remembered every single detail. After a few more kisses they made their way back inside. She couldnt remember who had won more before they went out for a smoke, but in this moment that didnt matter. All that mattered to her today was getting to see his smiling face and kissing his sweet lips. They finished their beers, finished playing pool and wandered outside. She couldnt stop thinking about the things he said he wanted to do to her on the pool table. Oh the things he had said, she wanted so very badly. They had aother smoke and chatted about the random propane tanks that had been left in the bushes. She couldnt help but wonder what the story behind those were. She focused back on him, on his eyes that met her. His hands that held hers, an his lips that she so desperately wanted to kiss. The moment they put their cigarettes out they couldnt take their lips od each other. First against her car then against his truck. She wanted him. Right there. Right then. She didnt care who was around or that it was daylight. The moment felt like in the movies when you see couples go into a hotel room. If you know you know. She knew that time was fleeting and they needed to part ways soon, and when she did finally have him she wanted to enjoy every single moment for as long as she could. They kissed and kissed and it felt like the world around them dissappeared. In that moment all that mattered to her was how he made her feel. She was quickly learning that he meant more to her than she was ever intending. She realized that his kisses could calm the storm that was raging in her head. One last kiss with his hand behind her neck. A gentle goodbye kiss. They parted ways and she drove home with a smile on her face.
She was trying to understand her feelings and so she decided to write in her journal and this is what she wrote:
"If I could fall in love again, It would be with him. I would fall in love with the way his hands fit perfectly in mine. I would fall in love with the way his hands made my body tingle every time he touched my skin. I would fall in love with the wat he got nervous when he looked into my eyes for too long. I would fall in love with the peace that he naturally brings my sould. If I could fall in love again.... Id fall in love with the way he has a hard time remembering the mundane things but remembers details about me. Id fall in love with all the things that i didnt know about him. If I could fall in love again... It would be Him, But I cant. "
For some reason she had just naturally sent this writing to him like she did so many times before when she wrote. He simply replied in the most maddening way. He simply stated "Cant can turn into can"