Chapter 12 - What the actual?
What if I've already lived through my version of war? Not the kind with armies and borders, but the quiet kind - the spiritual kind. The one where you wake up every day and feel like you've been dropped into a world that doesn't speak your language, doesn't share your sensitivities, and doesn't let you feel safe in your body. A world that moves too fast, talks too loud, and demands that you toughen up when all you've ever known is tenderness.
Maybe this is why Spirit chose me. Not because I've walked through fire - although having said that, I've definitely had my fair share of fire storms - but because I've felt everything as if it was fire. And maybe that's enough. Maybe feeling this deeply is the qualification. Being a hypersensitive soul on this planet feels like carrying your nerves on the outside of your skin. Every sound is louder, every cruelty sharper, every goodbye more permanent. And maybe that's why Spirit uses people like us - not because we're powerful, but because we listen before others do. Because we feel before others will. Because we ache on behalf of people who haven't even realised they're hurting yet.
If Diana came back with a task, maybe it wasn't to save the world with political shifts, but to soften the human spirit just enough to stop a chain reaction - to whisper, not shout. And for that whisper to land, Spirit needed someone ordinary. Someone real. Someone a little broken. Someone like me.
As the energy around this mission began to settle, I found myself asking questions I didn't expect. After all that urgency, all that guidance, all that divine momentum - suddenly there was… stillness. A deep breath in the universe. And so the questions began to flood in: How have I changed? I'm stronger. More grounded. More awake. And also more confused at times. I used to wonder if I was making it all up. Now I wonder why I didn't trust it sooner.
What have I observed in the world that confirms or challenges what Spirit gave me? Some synchronicities were shockingly accurate. Others still leave me unsure. And then there are moments - quiet, unmistakable ones - where I feel Diana still nearby, watching the threads she set in motion. Why has Diana gone quiet? Maybe her work for now is done. Maybe silence is part of the process. Or maybe she's standing behind the curtain, watching what I'll do next without her push. Maybe the echo is part of the test. Or maybe - Spirit is never really "gone." Maybe they just wait for us to catch up. Was all of this real? Or am I still stepping into something I don't fully understand? Honestly, yes. I still don't fully understand it. But that doesn't make it less real. You don't need to understand lightning to stand in awe of it.
This chapter isn't just about all the questions I have and what I've learned. It's about who might be reading it right now. Maybe you've never spoken to Spirit. Maybe you don't even like the word. Maybe you've survived so much life that the idea of "messages from beyond" feels like fluff. And still… you're here. Maybe this book wasn't only meant for Harry. Maybe it was for you too. Not to change your beliefs. But to remind you that life isn't only made of what you can see. Sometimes, the truest things are the ones we feel before we name them. You don't need to believe in mediums to be part of this story. You just need to have wondered once - maybe in the middle of a sleepless night, maybe during a funeral, maybe while standing alone in a kitchen - "Is there more than this?" That wondering? That's Spirit, knocking. I'm not holy. I'm not chosen. I'm just a woman with questions, and a willingness to write down the answers I think I'm hearing. I don't need you to believe everything I say. But I hope something here nudges you toward your own still small voice - the one you've been ignoring for too long. This is your moment too. To stop disappearing. To ask: Where am I in all of this? Because if Spirit can find me, trust me: It already knows where you are. It seems like you, the reader, and I walk side by side in this journey.
______________________________________________________________________________