The bartender got frightened with a flash of screenplay that rolled out before his eyes a moment ago. He tries to calm down by sitting down at one of the tables and covering his face with both hands, punching his forehead over and over. His heart beat at the same speed as a racing car. For the first time in a year, he experienced a panic attack because of trauma that had been kept hidden in a Pandora's box at the back of his heart.
"To be honest, every person I encounter wishes to see someone they love before closing their eyes, but she is "the unexpected ones". Who is she?"
The girl questions the bartender, who begins to calm his nerves after an hour. He face away from the girl, lying low on the chair with one of his shoulders hanging on the table, gazing at the small chandelier on the ceiling. The sparkling light from the tiny glass reflects onto his face, recalling a part of a missing memory that is hidden among the fantasized imagination he covers up.
"The thing about being a bartender is that you should know your position in the bar. Once you cross the line, your life can turn upside down."
He gets up and walks over behind the bar, pulling out a picture that has been hidden behind multiple images placed at the corner of the wall mirror. He put the image in front of the little girl, who watched every movement of the bartender with a blank face.
"I applied for a gig to get more money for experience and frames. Still, the workplace was a secret restaurant, reserved for those in a hidden organization with immense power across multiple industries. I did impress multiple figures in that place, one of them is the lady in this picture."
He paused and pulled out a bottle of water from the drawer, and mixed it with leftover soda in a glass. He takes a sip before continuing.
"She is the left-hand man of the boss and also one of his women. There weren't many women in that organization's management role, but she was the one who could make every gangster kneel before her. I did have a conversation with her occasionally during the first couple of months. Suddenly, she walked over to me one day with an offer."
"What is it?"
The girl's eyes get wider a bit as she looks up at him. Waiting to uncover his past.
"Spy on everyone's business for her, in exchange, I will get to have dinner once every two weeks."
He stops for a moment to think of a follow-up description. However, when he turned to the girl, he was surprised to see a shocking face with an open mouth. She burst out in a loud, cheerful laugh. A small tear can be seen in the corner of her eye.
"Of all the things I had learnt while I was with you, this is the most idiotic decision I have ever heard. Oh my bloody goodness. What the heck?????."
The girl lost for a word to judge the bartender as she tried to hide her laugh.
"Well, I was never going out with a girl before, and it was a chance to experience delicacy and the role of drinks in a high-end restaurant. I never thought of the love part by one bit, so I had no reason to deny because I had lived a lavish life, or so that's what my younger self thought."
He replies to the little girl, or Death, as his sign before continuing with his story.
"Because things got escalated over time. From coworker to friend, from friend to lover. We both realized how life would be if we weren't trapped under this destructive organization. Then, one night, one of the influential figures happened to learn about our relationships. He told the boss, and the next night I got a call to meet him in the office."
His finger suddenly got stiff as he felt one of his hands squeeze his arm tightly.
"He fired me on the spot for sexual assault of his woman. We both knew all along that it was a false accusation to keep her in power. I knew deep down that it was the softest punishment as I looked over to the woman by his side. A trace of bruise was visible behind her neck. She stayed silent throughout that meeting. Her eyes were full of an indescribable emotion that I could not understand. We never got to say goodbye. As for the actual punishment, those people whom I stabbed behind their backs tracked me down back here, and the rest is what you have seen."
He paused to catch a breath. Things become more complicated and frustrating for him as he tries to keep the story as accurate as he can recall. He engulfs the whole drink in the glass, then maintains his thought and words in synchronicity before speaking again.
"A couple of days later, before I left that town, she was announced dead by hanging. I received this envelope, which was secretly sent to me by one of the concierges."
He takes a letter out of his shirt pocket. It is neatly folded. It was sealed tightly with deep red wax and two intertwined rose symbols on top.
"I never open it because I am done with every lie she spun. I could never forgive her for what happened, for letting her make a fool out of me. Making me believe that a happy ending was possible. I wish we had never been more than colleagues."
The bartender signs as he crosses his arm, comforting his unhealing heart under the cabinet light. The whole car had gone quiet for a while, until Death finally spoke up after letting the bartender sink in his world for half an hour.
"What do you think is inside the envelope?"
"Apologized or Confession, I suppose. It doesn't matter anymore. Why would I want to care for someone who makes others believe they are madly in love, since it has always been a parasitic kind of relationship?"
He looks over at one of the high chairs on the other end of the counter bar. It reminds him of the time they had a small talk that brightened her night. In the good old days, he hardly forgot.
"Not everything always appears as you perceive. Maybe that is what keeps you at the fence all this time. There is no such thing as "best friend forever" nor "worst enemies" in one lifetime."
Death stops for a moment to take a sip of diluted soda. The bartender looks back down from the ceiling. However, he gets caught off guard as the person in front of him turns out to be the previous bar owner, the bartender teacher, and his only family.
"Well. There is a saying that in the living world, we never really know what to expect. Some relationships are born in the right place but at the wrong time, while others are pulled apart and never cross paths again, even in the afterlife. What I am trying to say is that life can knock everyone down, even the strongest among us. You can not expect a smooth journey. The best we can do is to live on, take a chance on life. A wish for someone to be happy can never be true if the other side of the relationship doesn't exist."
The smile on an old man's face is evidence of his caring for the person at the other end of the table. The face of a figure who never left his child out in the rain, despite his sin and the chain effect for assisting the wronged. He did not turn away his student because he knew how valuable he was, not just as a business partner but also in the vulnerability he had become. We all know that no teacher wants to see their student fall behind.
The bartender pushed himself from the cabinet behind the bar, then faces her directly. He pulls out another can of Coca-Cola and places it in front of him while looking down at the floor. A small drop of tear falls to the white tile floor.
He regretted making that decision as much as he had unintentionally hurt someone who had been supporting him throughout this time. Hearing his voice again brought him back to the presence of harsh truth, no matter how painful it would have been.
Suddenly, a soft, sweet voice of a woman flew into his ear, forcing him to face up and confront the figure he never wanted to see again.