CHAPTER 1
As he sat in one of the middle rows of the small church where he had sat hundreds of times for another Big Book Taught A.A meeting, all Jacob could hear was the resounding and booming voice coming from the pulpit. "I say it all the time and I'll say it again. God DID NOT save me from my alcoholism to be a good father. He didn't save me so I could be a good husband, or brother, or son. God saved me from myself so that I can be of maximum service to Him and HIS will. How can I serve my Higher Power if all I can focus on is myself? It don't work like that. That's why this program is so powerful! Because God is not advertising this program! YOUR PAIN IS! You see, God is Patient! He's polished and tempered. He's not fighting for attention. Nobody's attention! God is so loving and true to His word, that even though He sees me in my pain, in my hurt, depression, and sorrow He won't interfere. He already told me, 'it's your life, do with it as you please'. 'Ima wait here' He said, 'until you are in enough pain and enough misery and desperation' He'll wait out your stubbornness, He will wait for you to be exhausted. Why? Because pride don't work in A.A. It's no good here. Pride has a way of closing the mind to new information. How can He help you if you don't think you need it? Better yet, how can He help when you so confident in what you already know? I don't know about y'all, but my best thinking got me sitting right here. And in order for this to work you have to be desperate and tired enough to get honest with yourself, and be willing to open up your mind to new information. Or you will get drunk. The solution can't come from the same place the problem is. Solutions and problems don't dwell in the same place. I don't have a drinking problem, I have a thinking problem. The 12 steps and my relationship with God is my only solution. Let's close with the Our Father." Jacob stood as he lowered his head and repeated the Lord's Prayer with everyone in the church. As the prayer concluded Jacob signaled a question to his peer support Terry "I'm riding with you?" Terry nodded and made a motion to the door as he walked towards it.