Erica sat on the edge of her bed, the soft light of the setting sun spilling into her room. Outside, the peaceful hum of the countryside filled the air - a stark contrast to the turmoil raging inside her. She traced the delicate embroidery on her pillow, her mind far away.
Why him, Erica Villanueva? she thought, her reflection faintly visible in the window. Why did you have to fall for Sam? The question wasn't new, but each time it came, it hit with the same force. She wasn't the type to lose herself over someone, especially not someone like Sam - grumpy, reserved, and nothing like the polished, predictable men she had dated back in the city.
She sighed, her chest tightening. It's not supposed to be like this. I've always been the one in control, the one who decides what happens next. But now... She pressed her hands to her temples, willing her thoughts to calm down. Now I feel like I'm on a roller coaster I can't get off.
Images of Sam flooded her mind - his calloused hands moving with precision as he fixed the fencing, the way his brows furrowed in concentration, the rare but genuine smiles that made her heart race. Her fingers brushed her lips absently as she remembered the way he teased her, his voice low and rough, sending shivers down her spine.
It's not just how he looks, she admitted silently, though his rugged features and sharp jawline often made her pulse quicken. It's how he is. He's honest. He doesn't pretend to be someone he's not. He doesn't care what anyone thinks of him. He's... real.
The thought made her stomach twist. But does he even notice me? Or am I just another nuisance, another thing for him to deal with?
Erica hugged her knees to her chest, her mind replaying moments between them. The way he had helped her up when she tripped in the garden, his touch steady and firm. The way he had defended her, albeit begrudgingly, when the townsfolk whispered about her being a spoiled city girl. The time he had shared a rare laugh with her over burnt toast she had accidentally made.
It has to mean something, right? she thought desperately. Or am I just imagining it all?
Her thoughts shifted to the times he had been distant, his words cold and cutting. The way he had brushed her off when she tried to help or when her attempts at conversation fell flat. What if he doesn't feel the same? What if all I am to him is a burden?
She clenched her fists, frustration bubbling up. "Why do I even care so much?" she whispered aloud. Her voice sounded small in the empty room. Why does it feel like he's taken up permanent residence in my head?
The answer was simple yet overwhelming. Because I love him.
The realization hit her like a punch to the gut. She had known it for a while, but admitting it, even to herself, made it feel real. I'm in love with Sam.
She stood abruptly, pacing the room. This is ridiculous. He's not even my type. He's gruff, closed-off, and half the time, he doesn't even seem to like me. So why do I feel this way?
She stopped by the window, staring out at the horizon. The sky was painted in hues of orange and pink, the kind of beauty she had never taken the time to appreciate in the city. Is it because he's so different? Because he doesn't fit into the neat little box my life used to be?
The thought brought a bitter smile to her lips. Or maybe it's because he sees through the facade. He doesn't care about my name, my money, or my past. He just... sees me. And that terrifies me.
Her heart ached with the weight of her feelings. She wanted to tell him, to bare her soul, but the thought of rejection stopped her cold. What if he doesn't feel the same? What if I make a fool of myself?
But staying silent wasn't an option either. The uncertainty, the constant back-and-forth in her mind, was driving her crazy. She had to know.
As the last rays of sunlight faded, Erica stepped outside, the cool evening air brushing against her skin. Her legs felt heavy as she made her way toward the shed, where she knew Sam would be. She heard the rhythmic sound of hammering before she saw him, the familiar sight of his broad back and strong arms making her heart skip a beat.
She stopped a few feet away, hesitating. What am I even going to say? she thought, biting her lip. Hi, Sam, I think I'm in love with you?
"Sam," she called out softly.
He paused, glancing over his shoulder. "What?"
Her voice caught in her throat at the sight of his piercing gaze. "I... I need to talk to you," she managed, her words trembling slightly.
He set down the hammer, turning to face her fully. "What about?"
Her pulse quickened. This is it, Erica. Just say it. "I wanted to thank you," she began, her voice shaky.
He raised an eyebrow. "For what?"
"For putting up with me," she said, forcing a small laugh. "For letting me stay here. I know I haven't exactly made it easy for you."
He frowned, crossing his arms. "That's what you came out here for? To say thanks?"
Her heart sank at his tone. Why is he always so dismissive? Does he even care?
"No, I mean..." She trailed off, struggling to find the right words. "That's not all."
"Then spit it out," he said, his tone impatient but not unkind.
"I just..." Her throat tightened, and she shook her head. "Never mind. It's not important."
Sam's frown deepened, but he didn't press her. "Alright," he said simply, turning back to his work.
Erica stood there for a moment, her fists clenched. Why can't I just say it? she thought, frustration and shame burning in her chest. She turned and walked away, the sting of failure following her.
*****
That night, Erica lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. The house was silent, but her thoughts were deafening. Why can't I just be honest? Why am I so scared?
The answer was simple: she was terrified of losing him. Even if he didn't return her feelings, she didn't want to ruin what little connection they had. But the longer she kept it inside, the heavier it became.
She closed her eyes, her hands gripping the blanket tightly. "Tomorrow," she whispered. "Tomorrow I'll tell him."
But even as she made the promise, the fear lingered, wrapping around her heart and pulling her deeper into uncertainty.
*****
The morning sun poured through the kitchen window, casting golden rays that bathed the room in warmth. Sam stood by the window, sipping his coffee, gazing out at the sky as though searching for something beyond the horizon. His silhouette was framed perfectly in the soft light, and for a moment, Erica couldn't help but study him. There was something so peaceful about the way he stood, so grounded, like he was connected to the earth in a way she could never understand.
But as she watched him, a thought swirled in her mind. Why did I fall for him? The question had been nagging at her for a while, but she could never quite find the answer. Was it just the way he looked? The way his muscles rippled when he worked? Or was it something more, something deeper than mere attraction?
She shook her head, feeling frustrated with herself. No, it's not just his body. There's something about him, something beyond the surface. She couldn't pinpoint it, but she knew it was real. She could see through his gruff exterior to the man who was kind and thoughtful when he let his guard down. There was a softness in his eyes when he looked at her, a warmth in his gestures when he helped her out, even if he didn't say much. That was what drew me to him. But why am I so scared to admit it?
Her heart raced at the thought. Am I scared of what it means? Of letting him in? Or is it the fear of getting hurt?
Erica swallowed, feeling a lump form in her throat. She had always prided herself on being confident, on taking control of her life, but when it came to Sam, everything seemed different. Maybe it's because I don't understand him. I don't understand why he's so distant, why he holds himself back so much. And then, a deeper thought lingered in the back of her mind. Or maybe it's because I don't know if he feels the same way. Maybe that's why I'm so afraid to let myself fall completely. What if I fall... and he doesn't catch me?
As if on cue, Sam turned his head, catching her staring at him. He gave her a small, teasing smile, which made her heart flutter. His gaze lingered, but he didn't say anything, as if he was used to her watching him in silence. Erica found herself blushing slightly, suddenly self-conscious, but she didn't look away. She had too many questions swirling in her mind to care about the small awkwardness between them.
He took another sip of his coffee and, with a small tilt of his head, said softly, "You know, you're not being very subtle."
Erica blinked, surprised. He noticed? Her face turned even redder. Is it that obvious? She cleared her throat, trying to regain some composure.
"What? I wasn't staring." She tried to sound casual, but she knew she probably failed miserably.
Sam raised an eyebrow, a knowing smirk playing at the corner of his lips. "Sure you weren't."
Erica rolled her eyes, but couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips. He's always so calm, so sure of himself. It's like he can read my mind without even trying.
She didn't want to keep this back-and-forth going forever, so she took a deep breath, mustering up the courage to ask the question that had been lingering on her mind. "Sam," she began, her voice slightly unsteady. "Can I ask you something?"
He turned to face her fully, his eyes softening just a bit, the teasing fading from his expression. "Yeah, what is it?"
Alright, here goes, Erica thought. I can do this. I just need to know.
"Have you ever been in love?" she asked, her voice quieter now, almost hesitant. She felt her heart pounding in her chest as she waited for his answer.
Sam didn't respond right away. Instead, he took another sip of his coffee, his eyes drifting back toward the window, as if he were thinking it over. Erica couldn't help but feel a flutter of uncertainty. Is he going to shut me out now?
Finally, after a long pause, he spoke, his voice low and measured. "Yeah. I have been."
Erica felt her heart tighten at the answer, but she didn't show it. She leaned forward slightly, her curiosity growing. "What happened?"
Sam let out a long breath and set his coffee mug down, his hands lingering on the countertop as he looked out the window again. What's going on in his mind? Erica thought, feeling an overwhelming need to understand.
He shifted his weight and spoke in a quieter, more serious tone. "We were young. I thought I had everything with her... but I was wrong."
Erica's heart beat faster as she watched him, the walls Sam had so carefully built around himself starting to come down, just a little bit. He's letting me in. I'm actually getting a glimpse of the real Sam.
He glanced at her, meeting her eyes for a brief moment before looking away again. "I caught her with someone else. She didn't even try to hide it, just..." Sam paused, his voice growing rough, and Erica felt a pang of sadness for him. No wonder he's so afraid of being vulnerable.
He shook his head, clearly lost in the memory. "I never saw it coming. And after that... I couldn't bring myself to trust anyone the same way."
Erica's heart hurt as she listened to his words, the pain and regret in his voice unmistakable. She didn't know what to say at first. How could someone do that to him?
After a long silence, she finally found her voice, her own heart aching for him. "That must've been hard. I can't even imagine how that felt." She took a step closer, unsure if she should say more, but feeling compelled to comfort him somehow.
Sam looked back at her, a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes that he rarely allowed to show. "It was. But it's the kind of thing you learn to live with. It doesn't go away, but you learn to move on."
Erica nodded, understanding more than she could express. So this is why he keeps people at arm's length. Why he doesn't let anyone in.
Sam ran a hand through his hair, his eyes searching the sky outside once more. "It's not that I don't want to love again," he said, his voice a little more distant now, as though he were working through his own thoughts. "I'm just afraid. Afraid that it'll happen again. That someone will leave, and I'll be stuck in that same hurt."
Erica's heart ached for him, and she couldn't help but feel a deeper connection to him in that moment. He's afraid. He's been hurt, and he doesn't know if he can risk feeling that pain again.
Suddenly, Sam asked, "Why did you ask?"
Erica, caught off guard, hesitated for a moment before responding. "Nah, uhm, just curious." She gave a small shrug, trying to brush it off. "I mean, how come you don't have a love life? You're not exactly... well, you know." She teased, her tone light, a playful smirk creeping onto her lips.
Sam raised an eyebrow, a small chuckle escaping him. "You're really something, aren't you?" He shook his head but his lips curled into a smile.
Erica felt her heart melt a little at the sight of his genuine smile, the one that seemed to reach his eyes, softening his usually guarded expression. He's not as tough as he seems. He's got a heart under all that roughness.
For a brief moment, the tension between them dissipated, and Erica felt a warmth spread in her chest. Maybe it wasn't just the physical attraction; maybe there was more.
"Alright, alright," she said, trying to change the subject with a teasing grin. "I'll leave you to your mysterious, no-love-life self." She rolled her eyes playfully, hoping to cover up the deeper feelings that were creeping up on her.
Sam just shook his head with another chuckle, his gaze softening as he took another sip of his coffee, the moment lingering in a comfortable silence between them.