Sunday, 22nd June, is the date I realised how toxic family can be.
Looking into the eyes of someone you loved and cherished more than anything in the world and seeing a reflection of darkness and hatred piercing through their eyes. Is heartbreaking.
Gasping for air as it races out of your lungs as you block each strike they inflict on you whilst crying for a sudden ending. I never knew how your opinion and thoughts about someone could change drastically in a single moment.
I bet you will find it bewildering that the person who was capable of this heinous act was the person who gave you life.
I've spent years watching spite and loathsome consume a person entirely to the point where it becomes their whole persona. As a young girl, I admired shows like 50 First Dates, The Proposal, and The Notebook, which portrayed happy marriages with their own unique struggles that were ultimately overcome.
Absolutely bullshit.
Marriage is nothing but an excuse for two people with an infatuation to enter an entanglement only to meet resentment in the end. As the couple ages and develop at different rates in their personal growth, they start to resent the small things that didn't bother them then but greatly bother them now. I have come to the realisation that my parents were never in love; their marriage is built on the grounds of insanity. Here I stand with an invisible doctorate in medicine, diagnosing my parents with insanity.
I absolutely despise the saying, "Marriage is not perfect." Yes, and I agree, but the minimum requirement for marriage should be bearable, at the very least. The worst decision is for two people to stay together for the sake of the children.
What is the purpose?
They think the children can't see the tsunami of bitterness erasing what's left of a peaceful and happy home.
I can't remember a time when my house was peaceful.
I can't remember a time I felt truly happy.
I can't remember a time when I felt safe.