Chapter Two:
While other kids were learning who they were, making mistakes, and growing into themselves without fear, I was learning how to be responsible for someone else. I watched from a distance as my peers experienced freedom - going to sleepovers, staying out late, discovering new hobbies, and simply figuring themselves out. But my world was different. I was watching over my little sibling, making sure he felt safe, calming his problematic behavior in the middle of the night, reheating dinner that I'd barely had time to eat, and helping with his homework. I was the one keeping things steady, stepping in when others didn't or couldn't.
I don't really know what the outside world feels like. I've seen it from behind windows - heard it through stories, through laughter that didn't belong to me. But I've never fully stepped into it myself. I couldn't. My life was locked inside these walls, tied to routines and needs that had nothing to do with me. I lived according to other people's schedules, their moods, their needs. My own desires - my dreams, my rest, my identity - were pushed to the side. Not because anyone said they didn't matter, but because no one ever thought to ask. And I never thought to demand it.
There was no space to be a teenager. No space to explore who I was. I didn't get to mess up freely or learn from failure like others did. Every decision I made had consequences that extended beyond me - if I crumbled, things would crumble with me. So I became what I needed to be for everyone else. I grew up too fast, not because I wanted to, but because someone had to. And apparently, that someone was me.
Now I look back and wonder what I missed. Who I could've been if I wasn't constantly trying to hold things together. But the truth is, I don't even know who that version of me would be. I never had the chance to find out