“I’m sorry, Nigel,” the man said, still half behind the door, “but I didn’t quite catch why you’re offering to do it for free.”
Nigel gave a small nod, as though that were only fair.
“Sorry Neil, I probably didn't explain it well. I’ve been out of work a while,” he said. “Too long, really. And I thought instead of sitting indoors becoming part of the furniture, I’d make myself useful.”
The man looked at him.
“Useful to me.”
“If you’ve got something simple, yes.”
“What sort of simple?”
“Nothing specialised,” said Nigel. “I’m not here to rewire the house. I can mow a lawn. Wash a car. Water plants. Walk a dog. That sort of thing.”
“And you’re not charging.”
“No.”
The man stared at him for a moment.
“That’s the bit that sounds wrong.”
“Yes,” said Nigel. “That’s been the main feedback.”
A pause.
“So what do you get out of it?”
Nigel shrugged.
“A reason to get dressed, mainly.”
The man almost smiled at that, against his better judgement.
“And there’s no catch.”
“No catch.”
“No leaflet at the end. No ‘first one free’.”
“No.”
“And you’re not very good, I assume.”
Nigel gave him a thoughtful look.
“All I know is your car needs a good clean.”
The man gave a short laugh despite himself.
“All right.” he said. “Outside only though.”
“Fine.”
“Nigel, I really appreciate this. I hope it helps you as much as you're helping me".
“Oh, I know it will".
The man nodded once, as though agreeing to something faintly improper, then shut the door.
The next house went rather more expeditiously.
The woman answered almost at once and smiled before Nigel had said more than his name.
“Oh yes, of course,” she said. “You’re down by the corner, aren’t you. I’ve seen you about.”
“I am, yes.”
“How are you, love? I'm Yvonne.”
It was such a normal question that Nigel nearly answered it normally.
“Hi Yvonne. As to how I am, I'm not doing brilliantly,” he said. “But I’m trying something constructive.”
“Oh?”
He gave her the shorter version now, the version he was already refining.
“I’ve been out of work a long while. Thought I’d keep busy. If there are any small jobs about the place — washing cars, mowing, anything like that — I’m happy to help. No charge. Just once in a while. Gives me a bit of momentum.”
She put a hand lightly to her chest.
“Oh, bless you.”
Nigel said nothing. He had no working reply to bless you.
“No, I do understand,” she went on. “If you keep moving, it makes all the difference. Otherwise you can just sink, can’t you?”
“Yes,” said Nigel. “That’s more or less the theory.”
“Well, in that case,” she said brightly, “the cars would be wonderful.”
“The cars, plural?” Nigel said.
She smiled.
“The cars.”
A small pause.
“We’ve three,” she said. “Two are out at the moment, but if you came by after four, or perhaps at the weekend, they’d all be here. And honestly, Nigel, that would help us enormously.”
Nigel nodded once.
“Right.”
“And the money it saves us, of course,” she added, with a warmth that managed somehow to make the sentence worse. “That’s not nothing these days. So thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” said Nigel.
“You’re a lovely man for doing this.”
Nigel, who had never in his life been accused of being a lovely man, accepted this in silence.
“So after four?” she said.
“Yes.”
“Wonderful. Thank you so much.”
She gave him another smile, already halfway back into the house, the arrangement complete.
Then she paused.
“Oh — and Nigel, you did say every week, yeah?”
Nigel hesitated only a fraction.
“Oh. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Sure.”
“Thank you so much, Nigel.”
Then the door closed.
Nigel stood on the step a moment, doing the arithmetic.
Three cars.
That would take a decent stretch of the afternoon.
He found, to his mild surprise, that he did not mind this at all.
Then he moved on to the next house.